Fantastklr
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- Nov 22, 2001
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Frequent Flyer (M/F)
Here's a cute little story I wrote this afternoon. It's short and sweet, and it only takes a few minutes to read. I hope you all enjoy it!
Fantastklr
"Frequent Flyer"
by Carlton Phillips
I was glad that I’d left myself plenty of time getting to Newark Airport. The line at the security checkpoint was longer than usual, and I was hoping to down one more cup of coffee before boarding my flight. When I finally arrived at the conveyor belt, I removed my laptop computer from its case and loosened the laces of my sneakers. I’ve taken many flights in recent years so I know the routine quite well. However, the attractive young woman in line ahead of me apparently hadn’t done much flying lately.
A stocky male TSA agent suddenly barked, “Remove your shoes and put them on the conveyor belt! All carry-ons, laptops, cameras, and SHOES must go through the X-ray!”
“Do I have to?” she asked. “They’re just flip-flops and I’m sure there’s no metal in them. My feet are very sensitive, and I’d really hate to walk barefoot on that cold, dirty floor!”
Feeling compelled to intervene, I said to her, "Excuse me, but according to the TSA website, passengers are not required to take off their shoes before going through the metal detector. He can only ‘encourage’ you to remove them.”
The TSA agent seemed rather perturbed that I’d chimed in, but the flip-flop-clad young lady appeared very thankful that I had.
“Well if that’s the case, I’ll consider myself 'encouraged'!" she declared.
The pretty, blue-eyed brunette flashed me a smile of gratitude. She then briskly stepped through the metal detector and began to collect her personal items from the other end of the conveyor belt. Feeling a bit cocky, I walked through the checkpoint with my sneakers still on my feet. As expected, neither of us had set off any alarms.
“Both of you...please come this way!” the TSA agent ordered. “You were right about the shoe-screening policy. But as you also may know, refusing to have your footwear X-rayed is grounds for a secondary screening! You’ll be patted down and wanded, and your shoes will be carefully inspected. You should’ve just taken them off when you were told!”
“So now we’re being punished?” I asked with a hint of anger. “Why doesn’t the TSA just come right out and say that shoe screening is mandatory instead of pretending that it’s optional?”
“Hey, I don’t make the rules around here! I just do what I’m told...which is what YOU should’ve done!”
The pretty brunette and I were taken aside and a female agent was called over. We were asked to remove our footwear, and then stand with legs spread apart and our arms extended out to our sides. The male agent proceeded to meticulously scan my body with a handheld magnetometer. About ten feet away, the female agent began to perform the same task on the lovely brunette. I was then thoroughly patted down from my shirt collar to my socks. Meanwhile, a third TSA agent visually inspected our footwear and swabbed them with some sort of chemical, assumedly to detect for traces of explosives.
Suddenly, the young woman across from me began to giggle and squirm while receiving her pat-down search.
“Stand still!” cried the female agent. “I want to get this over with just as quickly as you do!”
“Heeheeheeheeheehee, it tickles! Heeheeheeheeheehee!”
“Look, I’m just doing my job! I don’t care if it tickles. Just stay still ‘til I’m done!”
“Okay, I’ll try,” she replied. But when the agent ran her hands under the young woman’s armpits, she burst out laughing and quickly pulled her arms down.
“Hey, Greg, I’ve got a real ticklish one over here!” the female agent bragged to the guy who’d inspected our footwear.
“Yeah, I had three this morning, myself,” he responded. “One of them almost poked my damn eye out! We ought to get combat pay for screening ticklish passengers!”
“You got that right!” she agreed. She then turned to the brunette and said, “Okay, honey, we’re done. You can collect your things and proceed to your gate.”
After leaving the security checkpoint, I said to the young lady, “I think I owe you an apology. I was trying to be helpful, but I guess I made matters worse. Next time, I’ll just keep my big mouth shut. I don’t want to go through another secondary screening at SFO on the return trip!”
“You’re going to San Francisco?” she asked.
“Yeah, flight 1049.”
“Me, too! Oh, and you don’t have to apologize for what happened back there. I know you were just trying to help. By the way, my name is Sharon.”
“Nice to meet you, Sharon. I’m Carl. Let’s hope that the rest of our trip goes a bit more smoothly.”
We walked to our gate, got some coffee, and then sat and chatted while waiting to board. I learned that she was single, a teacher, and that she lived and worked in New Jersey. I told her a little bit about myself, and that I lived in nearby Rockland County, New York. Once we’d boarded the plane, we said goodbye and took our assigned seats.
I made myself comfortable and began reading a magazine. But a few minutes later, I heard someone calling my name. Looking up, I saw Sharon standing in the aisle.
“Carl, there was a cranky baby behind me, and the flight attendant said it would be okay if I changed my seat. Since there's nobody sitting next to you, would you mind if I...”
“Of course, I don’t mind! It’ll be great having someone to talk to during such a long flight.”
Once we’d taken off, Sharon slipped off her flip-flops and began rubbing her toes.
“Carl, I wasn’t joking when I told the security officer that my feet are extremely sensitive. Thank God she didn’t have to check them for weapons!”
“By ‘sensitive’ I guess you mean ticklish, right?”
“Exactly. Had she touched my feet, I swear I would’ve let out a scream that could wake the dead! Oh, don’t get me wrong. I really like being tickled. I know this sounds weird, but I love the way it feels even though it makes me shriek like an idiot! Does that make any sense at all?”
“Actually, it does. In fact, you sure picked the right guy to ask! I happen to like tickling, too, especially if I’m the one doing it! But I don’t just like it...I love it! On a scale of one to ten, tickling is definitely a twenty! Now, does THAT make any sense at all?”
“Actually, it does!” she giggled. “Carl, I’ve got a strange feeling that we were destined to meet up on this flight...and we’ve got six hours to kill!”
Sharon placed a pillow against the armrest of her seat and turned so that her lower back was resting on it. Then she smiled and swung her feet up into my lap.
“This got to be my lucky day,” I remarked, staring down at her flawless bare feet. “But what about all the people on board? You changed your seat because of a crying baby. If I start tickling you, we might get thrown off the plane!”
“That’s exactly why I want you to do it. I want to learn how to control my reaction to being tickled, especially in public. Call it an unusual personal challenge, or whatever, but it’s something I’ve wanted to do for a very long time. None of my old boyfriends were interested in tickling me. In fact, it seemed like there was only one thing on THEIR minds!”
“Okay, let’s see what happens,” I said as I began to gently stroke her soles.
“Heeeheeeheeheehee! Okay, I’ll try harder not to HaHaHaHaHaHa! Please don’t stop. HeeHeeHaHaHaHa! I promise I won’t laaaahahahahahaha!”
Several passengers suddenly stared at us, and the flight attendant began to walk in our direction.
“Sharon, this isn’t going to work,” I said with disappointment. “I’d love to keep trying, but I’m afraid this just isn’t the right setting.”
“Is everything all right?” the flight attendant inquired.
“Yes, we’re fine,” I assured her.
“Would you like to buy headphones for the in-flight movie?”
“What movie is it?”
“There’s Something About Mary, starring Cameron Diaz and Ben Stiller.”
“Perfect! I mean...two headphones, please.”
After paying the flight attendant, I turned to Sharon and said, “I’ve got a great idea. Trust me, it’s going to work like a charm.”
I had seen this film several times so I assumed that they’d edited out a few scenes to make it suitable for in-flight viewing. It was also one of my favorite comedies, and I knew that no amount of editing would make it any less funny.
We put our headphone on and watched as the movie began. Sharon wiggled her toes with anticipation as she eagerly placed her feet in my lap. I covered them with a blanket and then patiently waited for the first riotous moment of the film to occur. And when it did, my fingers responded exactly on cue.
“HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa!” Sharon erupted right along with half the people on the plane.
“Oh, God! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” she exploded a few moments later. “HeeHeeHeeHaHaHaHaHaHAHAHAHAHA!”
I used my right arm to pin her ankles against my lap as I tickled her feet with my left hand. Although she obviously enjoyed it, she simply could not overcome her natural impulse to pull her feet away. She also couldn’t control her screams of laughter, which was the whole point of the challenge. But she really seemed to be having lots of fun trying.
I tickled Sharon during each and every comical moment on screen. And even though her laughter was loud and chaotic, it continued to inconspicuously blend with everyone else’s. Needless to say, we both had a fabulous time knowing that we’d fooled everyone on the plane with our great little stunt.
When the movie was finally over, Sharon was exhausted from laughing so hard. She also realized there was no way that she could condition herself not to laugh when tickled. She knew, once and for all, that it was a shortcoming she’d simply have to live with. Oh well, I imagine that there are fates far worse than that.
After we had landed, Sharon wrote her cell phone number on a piece of paper and handed it to me.
“Carl, I’m staying at the St. Francis Hotel. Why don’t you give me a call tonight? I’d love to get together for some more tickling fun!”
Grinning, I replied, “Like I said before, this got to be my lucky day!”
Here's a cute little story I wrote this afternoon. It's short and sweet, and it only takes a few minutes to read. I hope you all enjoy it!
Fantastklr
"Frequent Flyer"
by Carlton Phillips
I was glad that I’d left myself plenty of time getting to Newark Airport. The line at the security checkpoint was longer than usual, and I was hoping to down one more cup of coffee before boarding my flight. When I finally arrived at the conveyor belt, I removed my laptop computer from its case and loosened the laces of my sneakers. I’ve taken many flights in recent years so I know the routine quite well. However, the attractive young woman in line ahead of me apparently hadn’t done much flying lately.
A stocky male TSA agent suddenly barked, “Remove your shoes and put them on the conveyor belt! All carry-ons, laptops, cameras, and SHOES must go through the X-ray!”
“Do I have to?” she asked. “They’re just flip-flops and I’m sure there’s no metal in them. My feet are very sensitive, and I’d really hate to walk barefoot on that cold, dirty floor!”
Feeling compelled to intervene, I said to her, "Excuse me, but according to the TSA website, passengers are not required to take off their shoes before going through the metal detector. He can only ‘encourage’ you to remove them.”
The TSA agent seemed rather perturbed that I’d chimed in, but the flip-flop-clad young lady appeared very thankful that I had.
“Well if that’s the case, I’ll consider myself 'encouraged'!" she declared.
The pretty, blue-eyed brunette flashed me a smile of gratitude. She then briskly stepped through the metal detector and began to collect her personal items from the other end of the conveyor belt. Feeling a bit cocky, I walked through the checkpoint with my sneakers still on my feet. As expected, neither of us had set off any alarms.
“Both of you...please come this way!” the TSA agent ordered. “You were right about the shoe-screening policy. But as you also may know, refusing to have your footwear X-rayed is grounds for a secondary screening! You’ll be patted down and wanded, and your shoes will be carefully inspected. You should’ve just taken them off when you were told!”
“So now we’re being punished?” I asked with a hint of anger. “Why doesn’t the TSA just come right out and say that shoe screening is mandatory instead of pretending that it’s optional?”
“Hey, I don’t make the rules around here! I just do what I’m told...which is what YOU should’ve done!”
The pretty brunette and I were taken aside and a female agent was called over. We were asked to remove our footwear, and then stand with legs spread apart and our arms extended out to our sides. The male agent proceeded to meticulously scan my body with a handheld magnetometer. About ten feet away, the female agent began to perform the same task on the lovely brunette. I was then thoroughly patted down from my shirt collar to my socks. Meanwhile, a third TSA agent visually inspected our footwear and swabbed them with some sort of chemical, assumedly to detect for traces of explosives.
Suddenly, the young woman across from me began to giggle and squirm while receiving her pat-down search.
“Stand still!” cried the female agent. “I want to get this over with just as quickly as you do!”
“Heeheeheeheeheehee, it tickles! Heeheeheeheeheehee!”
“Look, I’m just doing my job! I don’t care if it tickles. Just stay still ‘til I’m done!”
“Okay, I’ll try,” she replied. But when the agent ran her hands under the young woman’s armpits, she burst out laughing and quickly pulled her arms down.
“Hey, Greg, I’ve got a real ticklish one over here!” the female agent bragged to the guy who’d inspected our footwear.
“Yeah, I had three this morning, myself,” he responded. “One of them almost poked my damn eye out! We ought to get combat pay for screening ticklish passengers!”
“You got that right!” she agreed. She then turned to the brunette and said, “Okay, honey, we’re done. You can collect your things and proceed to your gate.”
After leaving the security checkpoint, I said to the young lady, “I think I owe you an apology. I was trying to be helpful, but I guess I made matters worse. Next time, I’ll just keep my big mouth shut. I don’t want to go through another secondary screening at SFO on the return trip!”
“You’re going to San Francisco?” she asked.
“Yeah, flight 1049.”
“Me, too! Oh, and you don’t have to apologize for what happened back there. I know you were just trying to help. By the way, my name is Sharon.”
“Nice to meet you, Sharon. I’m Carl. Let’s hope that the rest of our trip goes a bit more smoothly.”
We walked to our gate, got some coffee, and then sat and chatted while waiting to board. I learned that she was single, a teacher, and that she lived and worked in New Jersey. I told her a little bit about myself, and that I lived in nearby Rockland County, New York. Once we’d boarded the plane, we said goodbye and took our assigned seats.
I made myself comfortable and began reading a magazine. But a few minutes later, I heard someone calling my name. Looking up, I saw Sharon standing in the aisle.
“Carl, there was a cranky baby behind me, and the flight attendant said it would be okay if I changed my seat. Since there's nobody sitting next to you, would you mind if I...”
“Of course, I don’t mind! It’ll be great having someone to talk to during such a long flight.”
Once we’d taken off, Sharon slipped off her flip-flops and began rubbing her toes.
“Carl, I wasn’t joking when I told the security officer that my feet are extremely sensitive. Thank God she didn’t have to check them for weapons!”
“By ‘sensitive’ I guess you mean ticklish, right?”
“Exactly. Had she touched my feet, I swear I would’ve let out a scream that could wake the dead! Oh, don’t get me wrong. I really like being tickled. I know this sounds weird, but I love the way it feels even though it makes me shriek like an idiot! Does that make any sense at all?”
“Actually, it does. In fact, you sure picked the right guy to ask! I happen to like tickling, too, especially if I’m the one doing it! But I don’t just like it...I love it! On a scale of one to ten, tickling is definitely a twenty! Now, does THAT make any sense at all?”
“Actually, it does!” she giggled. “Carl, I’ve got a strange feeling that we were destined to meet up on this flight...and we’ve got six hours to kill!”
Sharon placed a pillow against the armrest of her seat and turned so that her lower back was resting on it. Then she smiled and swung her feet up into my lap.
“This got to be my lucky day,” I remarked, staring down at her flawless bare feet. “But what about all the people on board? You changed your seat because of a crying baby. If I start tickling you, we might get thrown off the plane!”
“That’s exactly why I want you to do it. I want to learn how to control my reaction to being tickled, especially in public. Call it an unusual personal challenge, or whatever, but it’s something I’ve wanted to do for a very long time. None of my old boyfriends were interested in tickling me. In fact, it seemed like there was only one thing on THEIR minds!”
“Okay, let’s see what happens,” I said as I began to gently stroke her soles.
“Heeeheeeheeheehee! Okay, I’ll try harder not to HaHaHaHaHaHa! Please don’t stop. HeeHeeHaHaHaHa! I promise I won’t laaaahahahahahaha!”
Several passengers suddenly stared at us, and the flight attendant began to walk in our direction.
“Sharon, this isn’t going to work,” I said with disappointment. “I’d love to keep trying, but I’m afraid this just isn’t the right setting.”
“Is everything all right?” the flight attendant inquired.
“Yes, we’re fine,” I assured her.
“Would you like to buy headphones for the in-flight movie?”
“What movie is it?”
“There’s Something About Mary, starring Cameron Diaz and Ben Stiller.”
“Perfect! I mean...two headphones, please.”
After paying the flight attendant, I turned to Sharon and said, “I’ve got a great idea. Trust me, it’s going to work like a charm.”
I had seen this film several times so I assumed that they’d edited out a few scenes to make it suitable for in-flight viewing. It was also one of my favorite comedies, and I knew that no amount of editing would make it any less funny.
We put our headphone on and watched as the movie began. Sharon wiggled her toes with anticipation as she eagerly placed her feet in my lap. I covered them with a blanket and then patiently waited for the first riotous moment of the film to occur. And when it did, my fingers responded exactly on cue.
“HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa!” Sharon erupted right along with half the people on the plane.
“Oh, God! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” she exploded a few moments later. “HeeHeeHeeHaHaHaHaHaHAHAHAHAHA!”
I used my right arm to pin her ankles against my lap as I tickled her feet with my left hand. Although she obviously enjoyed it, she simply could not overcome her natural impulse to pull her feet away. She also couldn’t control her screams of laughter, which was the whole point of the challenge. But she really seemed to be having lots of fun trying.
I tickled Sharon during each and every comical moment on screen. And even though her laughter was loud and chaotic, it continued to inconspicuously blend with everyone else’s. Needless to say, we both had a fabulous time knowing that we’d fooled everyone on the plane with our great little stunt.
When the movie was finally over, Sharon was exhausted from laughing so hard. She also realized there was no way that she could condition herself not to laugh when tickled. She knew, once and for all, that it was a shortcoming she’d simply have to live with. Oh well, I imagine that there are fates far worse than that.
After we had landed, Sharon wrote her cell phone number on a piece of paper and handed it to me.
“Carl, I’m staying at the St. Francis Hotel. Why don’t you give me a call tonight? I’d love to get together for some more tickling fun!”
Grinning, I replied, “Like I said before, this got to be my lucky day!”
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