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First Post. Please Respond.(titled Angelwing)

neo_crimson

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Joined
Jan 10, 2006
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This is my first post story. I have been here a while, reading this, and that. This is my first atempt at writing. Please crutic and give response if you want more. Any thoughts are ecepted.
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"Would the defendent please state his name."

"Ivan Snow."

Ivan thought back. It was Just a few weeks ago. He had went on a date with Christina. They had the time of there lives. Going to the Amusment park that had just been built. Riding the rides, Filling up on over priced popcorn and cotton candy, It was the greatest night ever, probly because he was with her. She was the most Beautiful Girl he had ever seen. She was tall, though shorter then him, with long brown hair and dark brown eyes. She was natrally tan, And had a thin curvy frame. She had Long sexy feet with long toes that were always painted a brownish burgandy color, Ivan always had a thing for feet. Though Ivan always said the part he liked most, was her smile. So stunning it could light a room. Ivan used to always tickle her to make her laugh, she had a beautiful laugh, very melodic, but he always did it for the smile.
Ivan used to say he was lucky to find a girl like her. He knew others would kill for her. Well, he didn't know how right he was. After the amusment park, they chose to go get a bite to eat. He remembered talking her into going through the drive through, and eating it out on top of a hill that was sacluded from the town, so they could be alone. They were Ivan was 24 and Christina was 21, both were young and tangeled up in love. Ivan thought it would be perfect for, getting to know each other better. However, it was now very dark, and christina was a little frightened.
"oh come on. Ill protect you." Ivan told her. After much persation, she agreed. Ivan wanted to be alone, but theywern't alone at all. Ivan took off her cout and, just for laughs, began to pinch her ribs. She began to giggle and push him away, but he didn't let up. he grabed her and pulled her on top of his lap, putting both of her arms in between his legs. He began to lightly tickle up and down her body, just enough to make her giggle and have small laughs here and there. Through giggles she would say stop and is this why you brought me up here. He pulled up her shirt and began to poke and prob her belly button, then her ribs, then her breast, sending her laughter to new hight. He started to squeez her knees when they both heard a loud noise outside. Ivan stoped and released Christina. "stay here" he said. "lock the doors."
Ivan began to Walk in the dark, looking for what it might be. He trip over something on the way back, he had been gone for probly tweenty minutes. He reached down to pick up a baseball bat, still wet from warm blood. He sprinted back to the car. The back glass was shattered, and the car was still locked. He broke The driver seat Window to open the door. When the lights turned on from the door being open, there lay christina's nude body, Head smashed in from the bat. Ivan grabbed his cell phone and called 911. When the police showeed up, they didn't belive ivans story, and he became the main suspect.

"I hearby sentence the defendent to Death penalty."

Or at least it seemed like weeks ago. All Ivan had to do was walk to the chair, sit, and pray. Well the walking, and sitting part was done all he to do, is pray. In his last moments, Ivan prayed. He had never really been a religous man, hard knocks egnostic all his life. Now seemed like the right moments to him. When the swich flipped, time seemed to stop. Now standing before Ivan was a man, who seemed Much younger and much older then him at the same time. He Was very handsome, even Ivan thought so, who was heterosextual to the bone. He had long wavy Dirty blond hair that was in a pont tail. He was wearing a very dark suit, and had black raven wings. He was an angel, Ivan was sure of that.
"Who.. Who are you." Ivan mumbled.
The angel looked around. "oh your talking to me? Well Ivan, im the grim reaper, the angel of death, the Deathbringer, The judgement, or whatever name that is given to me by Desgrunteled Gothic teenagers. I refer to myself as Loki."
'So it's my time. Can i know where im going?"
Loki looked rather confussed. "Actully, Your not going anywhere. I was given special orders to keep you here."
"what? Why?"
"Well, you see, your inasent, and you need to get your revenge. Then, mabye ill take you with me, maybe i wont. Will just have to see. Now there is something you need to know. everyone has a gaurdian angel choosen for them at random. This determens what kind of life they will have to face, though there response is up to them. Untill now, your angel was a normal angel named Rinala. When you died, she left you. Well, i have strict orders to be your angel now. Your lucky, your the first to have death on your side. Now enough talk there is someones life you should be ruining right now."
"Ok. i have a Lot of Questions, but ill save them for later. But i need to know, what man killed Christy."
Loki looked down at him. "who sad it was a man. Now ready to get even." Suddenly, Ivan grew black angel wings. He Flew up in the air with his new form, leaving the weaker one behind. This woman would pay. He looked at a feather that the wind plucked from his wings, and grapsed it from the air. He looked at the feather. This is just what i had in mind.


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okay. not much tickling in this one, mostly storyline. But please tell me what you think.
 
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