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Night of the Living Dead Ticklers

anubis111

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Jan 29, 2006
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A similar theme to my last story but i totally made this one up. (messed up again i know)


Part 2: http://www.ticklingforum.com/showthread.php?t=90540

Part 3: http://www.ticklingforum.com/showthread.php?t=92245





Night of the Living Dead Ticklers

It was mid summer and Lacy had just moved out to her new desert home. She had heard the rumers that the town was posessed but ignored them completly. As her parents unpacked Lacy decided to have a look around town. "Mom I'm gonna go take a look around town for a while ok?" asked Lacy. "Ok just as long as you be back before dark.Oh and take your little sister too." said Lacy's mom. Lacy sighed, she hated taking her sister along because she flirted with anyone who was remotly cute. "Yeah! Thanks mom!" cheerd Erin. "Well what are you waitin for sis lets hit the town!" So Lacy and Erin got in the car and drove off. "Erin please try and not to embarass me too much while we are out ok?" Lacy asked, "Now why would I do that?" teased Erin. They both spent a few hours out untill it started to get dark. "Well we better get going." said Lacy, "Don't wanna get grounded on our first day here." As they got into the car Lacy tried to start it up but nothing happened. "Damn it! Stupid piece of junk car!" said Lacy, "Better get out and find some help." So the girl got out of the car and headed into the nearest building. As they walked into the bar, they noticed that it wasn't very crowded. Erin ran up to the bar table and sat down. "Hello can I help you?" said the bartender. "Um yeah we're new here and our car just broke down, could you tell us where the auto repair is?" Erin asked. "Well the machanic is done for the day but your welcome to stay over my house for the night." the bartender offerd as Lacy sat down. "Thanks so much" Lacy said, "Could we use the phone to call our parents and tell them where we'll be?" she asked. "Sure go right ahead." said the bartender. So Lacy called her parents and told them what happened. Thier parents said it was ok just as long as they were kind and payed her back somehow. "By the way my name is Katie." the bartender said. "Well better get goin before it gets to be dark. "Why's that?" asked Erin. "Well," Katie explained, "Every day around dusk there are zombies that come out and roam the town looking for victims." kate explained. "Yeah right, like we actually believe in zombies." Lacy said. As they arived at Katie's house it was getting dark. "Better hurry up inside before the zombies get us" teased Erin. So they went in and Katie showed them thier rooms. "Night night don;t let the zombies bite!" said Erin "You are sooo imature." responded Lacy. Aand with that she turned out the light and went to sleep.
Suddenly Lacy was woken up by a scream. "What is it?" Lacy asked Erin franticly. "I saw a face in the window Ii swear!" said Erin. "Don't be silly Erin" Lacy said. "No you dont understand sis i know i saw a face out there." exlaimed Erin. "Fine we'll go out and take a look" Lacy said. So they got out of bed and went outside to look, being careful not to wake up Katie. So Lacy and Erin both went outside to see what was there. After a few mintues of looking around Lacy didn't see anything. "Well like I told you there is nothing here" said Lacy. As they were walking back inside, Lacy felt someone trip her. As she looked back she saw a young woman crawling towards her. Lacy screamed and Erin was frozen in fear. The zombie pinned Lacy's hand over her head and let out a laugh. As she was about to attack... BANG!! The zombie dopped dead. As the girls looked back they saw Katie satanding with a pistol in her hand. "I told you girls to be careful." she said. Unfortunatly for her she didn't see the second zombie coming up behind her. "Katie look out!!" both girls screamed but it was too late. The zombie shot its hands up Katie's shirt and sated to tickle her furiously. "HAHAHAHAHA, someone get this HAHA, thing off of mehehehehehehehehehehehehehe!" Katie twisted and howled with laughter. Erin ang Lacy just stared in horror and disbelief. "You guys help HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, its ticling me! HAHAHAHAHAHA" Suddenly Lacy came out of her trance picked up the gun and shot hte zombie. "What the hell was that?" Lacy screamed. "It was a tickle zombie." Katie explained. "A tickle zombie?" Erin said in shock. "Yeah they come out every night looking for tickle victims." Katie explained. "We need to get to my siters house to see if they are ok." Katie said. As they went to get into the car they noticed the engine had been ripped out and desroyed. "Looks like we'll have to hoof it" said Katie, so the girls stated walking. As they got to Katie's sisters house they noticed a big mob of zombies outside the house. "You have got to be kidding me!" Lacy said. "How are we gonna get around all of them?" "Quick through the back!" Katie said. so the girls ran in and found Katie's three younger sisters in a corner. "Comeon guys we need to leave." said Katie. As the girls ran downstairs to the basement door, the zombies broke through. "RUN!!" screamed Lacy. As they ran down the steps Lacy tripped. Suddenly five zombies pounced on her. "Oh no hellllp!" Lacy sceamed, for she knew that she was easily the most ticklish in the group. But it was too late, as the others turned around they saw it happen. The zombies knocked Lacy down, then they started to tickle her. "NOOOO!!!" screamed Lacy as she saw the zombies' fingers come down. The others could only watch in fear as the zombies began to relentlessly tickle Lacy's upper body. "Help you guys, hehehehehehehehe. PLease make it stop, it, ahahahahahahaha it... hehe it.. hehe, tickles. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Lacy sqwirmed and laughed and howled with laighter. Katie then took her gun and shot the zombies giving Lacy time to get up and run.

"Lets go!!" screamed Katie, as they ran to the barn. "Oh my gosh that tickled soooo much." Lacy said as they ran. Then a zombie dove and knocked down one of Katie's sisters. Instead of tickling her it bit her on the leg. The others rushed back, picked up Katie's sister and ran into the barn. "We better get that leg bandaged up" said Katie."And I'm ot of amo. Quick Erin run around back and get my other guns out of the box out there." "How am I supposed to get back in?" asked Erin. "Don't worry there is a window back there hust jump up and well pull you in." explained Katie. So Erin ran out and got to that back. All of a sudden a giant mob of zombies started to come toward Erin. "Hurry guys they are comming!" Erin screamed. she through the box up and Katie caught it. "Jump Erin they are right behind you!" Lacy yelled. Erin jumped and missed. "I'll just climb!" she said. So erin began to climb. as she got to the window she fell. Luckly for her Lacy and Katie caught her feet. Unlickly for her, her shirt got caught and ripped off, now her upperbody was exposed. As Erin hung upsidedown, the zombies came and grabed her arms. :Oh god! Help me you guys.!" she screamed as the zombies pulled on her arms. By doing this Erin's body streched out so much each of her ribs could be learly seen. Erin looked back at the zombies. One of them had a evil smile on thier face. It wiggled its finger and walked slowly towards her. Erin suddenly realized what was about to happen. She was unfortunate to share the same most ticklish sopt as her sister, her bellybutton. "Oh sweet lord no please don't tickle me there, anywhere but there, I am begging you you cant tickle me thereeeee!" Erin burst into laughter as the zombie started to tickle her navel. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA" she screamed "NOO, hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe!" Erin screamed and laughed as hard as she could. Then the rest of the zombies joined in. They tickled her ribs, stomach, hips, sides, underarms, and navel. Erin screamed in un controlable laughter. "NOOOOOOOO!" she screamed. "HAHAHAHAHAHA!" Erin laughed. hehehehhehehehehehehe!" Soon Erin felt herself start to wet her panties. Then one zombie jumped and wraped its legs around Erin's legs and statred to dig into her ribs. He tickled her relentlessly. This raised Erim's laughter to a whole new level. Finally Katie got the gun to work and shot at the zombies. The zombies let go and Erin was pulled to safty. "Oh my gosh I hope that never happens again!" Erin exclaimed. Suddenly the girl who was bitten by the zombie leapt up and wraped her sister in a big hug. "What the..hahahahahaha!" she scremed as the girl tickled her while keeping her in a vice like grip. "Oh no she's turned into one of them!" exclaimed Katie. The zombie kept tickling her and knocked her right out the window. "NOOOOOO!! screamed Katie as her sister was lost in the sea of zombies. All of a sudden she reappeared. The zombies gathered around in a circle and started to grin. "Help me!" she screamed but there was nothing anyone could do but watch. The zombies then removed all of her clothing leaving her in her bra and panties. Then the zombies pounced. They tickled her everywhere, her ribs, stomach, sides, belly, navel, underarms, hips, legs, the back of her knees, and her feet. "hahahahahahahahahahaha" was all they heard for the next hour. The girls sat in the barn and watched as every inch of the girl was tickled viciously. Suddenly the laughing stopped and the girl lay still. "I don't believe it!" Lacy said, "They actually TICKLED her to death!"

The next thing they knew the zombies had broken through the door and were flodding the barn. "Quick through the roof, there is a line that goes to a tree we can slide down to it." Katie said. As htey wakled on the roof it began to become weak. Then it gave way inder Katie's feet. There she was stuck in the roof with her shirt pushed up so that her curvy body was exposed for all of the zombies in the barn to see. To Katies horror she felt her shoes being ramoved then her socks. The other girls tried desperatly to pull her free but it was no use. All of a sudden Katie felt a finger run down her underarm. She yelped and tried not to laugh. "If htey get my feet I am a gonner" she thouth to herself. As this thought passed through her mind a zombie ran a finger VERY slowly down Katies exposed ribs. She laet out a loud scream then urst into giggles. "NOOO! hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe!" Katie's head thrashed back and forth as the zombie dig his fingers into her ribs. Then three more zombies joind in and rapidly tickled Katie's ribs. Katie thrashed around trying not to laugh but to no avial. "Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!" she laughed. The tickling then stopped. Katie knew what was coming next, her sides were tickled, then her belly, then her navel and hips. Katie was sent into a giant fit of laughs and giggles. Finally came time for the zombies to tickle her feet. Katie then felt a single piece of hay run down her feet. "hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe!!" Katie burst into laughter. Katie then looked through a small hole in the roof to se what would happen nezt. To her horror, she saw hte Zombies hold up 2 chicken fethers. "NO please!" Katie screamed, she knew from expierence how mucg chicken fethers tickled. "You cant do this to me i'll go mad." But the zombies ignored her and raised the feathers to Katies very ticklish feet. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Katie screamed as the zombies ran the feathers back and forth on Katie's extreamly sensative feet. As the zombies stopped to start thier ticklish attack again Lacy screamed NOW and they all pulled Katie free. "Wow I never knew you were so ticklish sis." said Katie's younger sister. "Neither did I" Katie said. Quickly the girls slid down the wire and landed in the tree. "Quick we can escape to the bar." said Katie.

As they ran to the bar they noticed that there were people evrywhere being tickled to death. As they reached the bar the girls dove behind the counter. They sat there nervously and listened. " Lacy!" Lacy heard her parents calling so she dove from behind the counter and saw her parents. "Mom, Dad your ok!" Lacy said as she hugged them. "Lacy no look at thier arms!" cried Erin and tried to save her. Thier parents had been bitten and Lacy didnt notice. But it was too late the zombies grabbed Lacy and Erin and tird them up so that tier arms were aover thier heads. Lacy's father secured the ropes to a giant wodden beam going across the cealing. "Dad please dont do this to us, you know how ticklish we are." pleaded Erin. "We've awrealdy ben tickled enough." said Lacy. "Well if we were going to tickle you we would start one at a time so the other could watch. Oh and Erin what is it you dont want us to do?" asked her mom. "Tickle me" said Erin. "Oh ok since you asked.." grinned her father. "No wait I didn't mean it, I meant dont tickle me!" said Erin frantically. But it was no use she had fallen for it. NOO! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!" Erin screamed as her father removed her shirt and tickled her at the same time. "Look at that beautiful body, we are going to have some fun with you honey." teased Erin's mother. "We are going to tickle you very slowly untill you go crazy." she explained. "No please don- hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe!" Erin giggled as her father ran a finger down her arm. As he did it agin Erin tried not to laugh. "Thats right try and hold it in lets see how long you last!" her father said as he began to flutter all ten fingers into Erind hollow underarms. "Mmmmmmmm.." Erin held it in for as long as she could. "Come on honey laugh, you know you want to" said Erin's mother softly, "Tickle, tickle, ticlke!" All Lacy could do was watch in horror and wait for her turn. Katie and her sister sat behind the counter and listend fearfully as the girls were tortured. "Mmm..hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!" Erin screamed as her father ticled faster and faster. "Now its your mothers turn to give you a tickle" said her father with an evil grin. "Ok honey we know your underarms are ticklish now how about those little ribbies of yours?" her mother teased. They tightened the rope so you could see every rib on Erin's body. "Oh i almost for got you cant be wearing a bra if I am going to tickle your ribs now can you?" So her mother took off Erins bra to reveal her pert young breasts. "Now then thats better dont you think?" asked Erins mother. "Please you cant do this to me I'm your daughter!" pleaded Erin. "Exactly thats why we can cause ur our ticklish little daughter." said her father with an evil grin. "Now lets begin," her mother said. How many ticklish ribbies does little Erin have? One, two, three.." Erin's mother tickled each rib with a finger. "N-hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Please, hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha, stop hehehehehehehehe it! hahahahahahahahaha" Erin endlessly giggled. Then Erin's mother dug into her ribs causing her to explode with laughter. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Erin was in for a long night and she knew it. Dad's turn!" chirped thier mother. Erins's father then went up behind her and tickled her from her underarms to her hips. Erin's sweet laughter rang through the bar as her father spider tickled his way down her sides. "And now for your fee- wait I think we forgot a part!" her father exclaimed. rin had been praying that her parents wouldnt remember to tickle her bellybutton. "Thats right we still gotta ticle your cute little bellybutton." her mother cried in triumph. "NOOOO! YOU CAN'T!!!!" cried Erin, "You know I can't stand being tickled there. You'll make me wet myself!" she said with tears in her eyes. "O wel then all the more reason to!" said both parents. Then her mother slowly extended a wiggling finget towards Erin's navel. "Please , please, please, please, noooooo!" Erin howled with laughter as her mothers finger began to furoulsy tickle her bellybutton. "hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahhahah ahahahahahahhahahahhahahahhahahhahahhahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!" Erin scremed. "Oh look I think Erins had an accedent." said her mother. "We'll save your feet for later.

Its your turn Lacy!" said her father. (from now on its father and mother not erin's father or lacy's mother.) "Oh god, oh god, oh god oh god!" said Lacy. Now where could you be ticklish?" asked mother. "How about here!" mother then started to tickle the back of Lacy's knees. "Hahahahahahahahahahahahah!" lacy laughed. Lacy then began to shake and sweat. Lets give you two matching outfits" mother said as she ramoved Lacy's top and bra. "Whoy such a sad face?" asked father. Lets put a smile on that pretty little face ouf yours." Father hen began to slowly trace circles around Lacy's ribs. Lacy began to giggle uncontrolably. "Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe!" she laughed. "Whats the matter Lacy does that tickle?" asked father. "No" giggled Lacy. "Now honey its ot nice to lie to your father, looks like we'll both have to tickle you." said mother "Say your underarms aren't ticklish are they?" she asked. "yes" squeaked Lacy. "Good then" mother said with a smile. "Ready one, two, THREE!!" her mother screamed as both parents began to tickle her ribs and underarms vigurously. "HAahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!" screamed Lacy. "Aww is pooer wittle Lacy ticklish?" asked mother. "Yehehehehehehehehehehehehehessss!" Lacy screamed. Katie began to sob at the sound of her friend being tourtured. "Oh what's this?" asked father. "It looks like Lacy and Erin made some friends." The two girls stared in horror as mother and father tied them up too. "Now where were we?" asked mother, "Ah yes lacy honey how ticklish is your belly?" asked mother, smiling. Mother and father then began to spider tickle Lacy's stomach. Oh we almost forgot we made friends too!" said father. In walked Katies parents. "Did we miss anything they asked. "Nope right on time." said mother. Lacy I would like to introduce Mr. and Mrs. Spear. Mr and Mrs Spear this is our most ticklish daughter, Lacy." said father as he introduced the two. "may we help tickle?" they asked. "Sure the more he merrier." mother exclaimed. "You two concentrate on her underarms and ribs, father you'll get the sides." said mother. "Which only leaves one thing." said mother. "The most ticklsih part of your body, youe bellybutton." Lacy's eyes opened wide with fear. Before she had a chance to argue all four parents went to work on tickling every inch of poor Lacy. NOOOO! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahhahahahhahahhahahahhahahahhahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!" scramed Lacy as she was tickled all over. "Wow it looks like Lacy had an accadent too." said father. "so tell us about your daughters" said mother. "Well, " explained Mrs. Spear, "Our oldest is most ticlish on her feet and ribs and our other daughter is ticklish everywhere." Both childrens eyes got wide with fear. "You cant do this mom we'll die" said Katie. "No you wont" laughed Mr. Spear. "Now lets see if you are as ticklish as I remember.." Mr Spear said.

He then raised up Katies shirt and began to furiuosly tickle her ribs. "NOOO!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" she screamed as her fathers fingers flew up and down her wickledly sensative ribs. "Lets have a contest!" said Mrs. Spear. "Whose child is the most ticklish. Each of us will take a child and tickle them in thier worst sopt and see which one laughs the hardest or whichone faints first." All the others agreed and took thier palces by thier children. "Ready, set, GO!!" cried Mrs. Spear. Soon the room was filled with ticklish laughter and screaming. "Looks like its a tie!" sai Mr. Spear. "You know I'm in the mood to tickle a good sole or two what do ya say?" he asked. Once again everyone agreed and the room was filled agian with laugher. "You know what I think we should have the most ticklish child contest agian but all four of us tickle each of them one at a time." piped father. "Great idea honey. We'll tickle each of thier body parts and rate them in ticklishness 1-10. Also each girl will be blindfolded so they wont know when its comming." "Lets start with our youngest" said Mrs. Spear. The girls eyes got witde with fear as her top was removed revealing a skimpy bikini top. "One, two, three.. GO!" All of a sudden fourty wiggling, tickling finger fell upon the helpless girl's body. "NO! Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe PLease! hehehehehe! I can't hehehehehehehehe stand it! heheheheheheheheheheheheheheheee." The girl withered and twisted and howled with ticklishness as her pits were tickled. "This hehehehehehehehehehe is hehehehehehehehehehehehehehe torure heheheheheheh!" She screamed and laughed untill she couldn't get any louder. Then all forty fingers switched to her insanly ticklish sides. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!" the girl could not keep from laughing. "Pleheese stohahahahahahahahapp!" she pleaded as her sides were tickled relentlessly. "Ok said Mr. Spear, "Thats an seven for ribs and eight for sides. Next would be her stomach." The girl screamed as al forty fingers began to poke, prod and squeeeze her stomach. "NOO!! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!" The parents smilled with satisfaction. "Eight for stomach, now underarms." The girl screamed and twisted in ticklish laughter. "Seven for pits, which only leaves bellybutton and feet." father said. He then reached into his pocket and revealed a long feather. Since the girl was blindfolded she could'nt see what was about to happen. Father took the feather and twirled it around in her navel. After a few seconds the girl passed out. "A perfect 10!" exclaimed Mr. Spear. They then moved to Katie. After a few seconds of scilence the three remainig girls started to giggle in anticipation.

"One, two, THREE!" mouthed out Mrs. Spear. sauddenly all forty of the parents fingers fell wiggling into Katies underarms. "NOOOOOO!!" Katie screamed. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!" after a few minutes they stopped. "9.5 on underarms" said Mrs. Spear. "Ribs time!" the adults cheered. All at once the wiggling fingers of the adults dug into Kaies ribs. "NOOhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!" Katie bucked and twisted and tried her best to get away from the forty tickling fingers. "Nine for ribs." It looks like we may have a winner!" Without any pause the adults then began to spider tickle thier fingers up and down Katies sides. Katie tried to hold it in as long as possible but was not able to. "Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe!" she giggled very loudly. "Mom pleahehehehehehese stop. HAHAHAHAH!" Katie burst out laughing. "Belyybutton time!" evryone cheered. As soon as the feather touched her belly Katie went into hysterics. SHe laughed so hard that she acutlly lost control of her bladder. "Nine! And last but not least her feet." said mother. The four ticklers began to relentlessly tickle her feet. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" screamed. "It tickles soo much hahahahahahahahahahahaha!!" Katie could not hold it in any longer and laughed louder then she had ever laughed before. "Ten on the feet." Mr. Spear said.

The parents then walked over to Lacy. "Your turn honey," said mother. "Now lets start with your feet." After saying this instead of tickling her feet the zombies tickled her ribs. Heyyyy! You lied, heheheheheheheheh!" screamed Lacy. "Thats right. Now for those little armpits of yours." As they tickled Lacy a zombie came crawling in to watch. Lacy held it in as long as she could. "Aww only a 6, o well, lets tickle that tone little belly of yours" teased Mrs. Spear. At once the four ticklers squeezed Lacy's sides. "Heheheheheheheheheheheheheh! Stop, hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe!" Lacy laughed uncontrolably. "her feet arent too ticklish so we'll double the score for her navel" said father. The moment the feather touched her skin Lacy burst out into laughter. "Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahaha! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhaaa!" Lacy scremed as the feather twirled and danced in her bellybuton. "9.5 which makes it 19! You know you just may make your father and me proud." said mother. "Well that just leaves one person, Erin!" said Mr. Spear. "Lets start from the top and go down." suggested father.

Just as the four ticklers were about to tickle Erin, the zombie that had been watching started to tickle her sole's. "Waiitt!" screamed Erin but it was too late the zombie parents began to tickle her under the arms. Little did they know that they were being helped by a zombie. Erin laughed louder then any of the other three. "Ten all the way!" all the parents agreed. They didnt stop tickling and moved right down to her ribs. The zombie on the floor continued tickling her feet too. "Unfair eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" Erin screamed. "Wow another 10" said father. "You know what, you win.." All of a sudden father dropped and so did mother, MR and Mrs. Spear. "You girls ok?" it was a member of the navy. "Thank God you are here!" screamed Katie and Lacy yelled. "Sir!" one of the officers yelled, "We got a dead one!" The girls looked over in horror at Erin. Her head lolled back and forth and she wasn't breathing. "It appears that she was tickled so much she suffocated." the officer said. Lacy and Katie started to cry as Erin was put into a body bag and rolled away. (As the body rolls away the medical examiner looks at Erin's leg and finds what look like bite marks) End

Part two? suggestions?
 
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Not bad at all. Just a couple of suggestions though

1. Please use paragraphs. It's a lot easier to read when there are breaks in the text.

2. Also, quotations typically begin new sentences, but you have them scattered all throughout the text. Again, it's sometimes difficult to follow.

Other than that, I thought it was an interesting concept. Good job. :)
 
DO NOT LISTEN TO THAT CRAZY MAD MAN!!! THAT WAS ONE OF THE MOST AWESOMEST STORIES I HAVE EVER READ!!! MY GOD IT ROCKED!

seriously I loved it, I love the whole lost in the sea of zombies...but yeah the non paragraphs were a put off...
 
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