“You’re firing me?” Samantha cried rushing a hand to her chest as if her heart were about to squirm up her throat, jump out of her mouth and catapult into her bosses, Mr. Bryar’s mouth.
“Wow… you catch on quick.” Mr Bryar said with enlaced sarcasm.
“But how? I’m indispensable to the company!” Samantha continued to protest.
“You get lunches for the LOWER employees!” Bryar yelled back at the gaped mouth Samantha.
“As I said… indispensable.” Samantha began to get teary eyed.
“She’s crying, she’s bleeding crying.” The boss began to fume silently into his hand, which now cupped his eyes and mouth.
“Look Samantha-” Mr Bryar began to say but…
“No! You can’t fire me, I quit! Hah! Take that.” With what dignity she thought she had regained, Samantha stormed out of the head office and down the hall.
“Take what?” Bryar said to himself stunned. “That was what I wanted.” When Samantha reached the turn in the corridor to the elevator she threw her purse out of the window in spur of strength and integrity, but when Samantha reached her car…
“Damn it… my keys were in my bag. My bag which I threw out the window.”
After what felt like an eternity the cab arrived that Sam had called to take her home… the very same cab that was an hour late getting there. Slowly but surely the cab reached Sam’s home.
“That’s thirty two dollars eighty.” The thick Indian voice of the driver made for an awkward time for Sam could understand only nothing of what he was saying.
“I’m sorry, what did you say?”
“That’s thirty two dollars eighty.”
“What?” Sam asked almost anguished.
“That’s thirty two dollars eighty.”
“What?”
“Thirty two dollars eighty!”
“I can’t understand what the hell you are saying!” Sam screeched at the poor innocent cab driver.
“THIRTY two dollars eighty.”
“Wait, wait wait! Did you say “Thirty two dollars eighty.” Sam finally realising the amount… and simultaneously realising she had no money to pay the cab driver after throwing her purse out of the window in a fit of stupidity which she took as “A clever thing to do”.
“Um, I can kinda understand you, but I don’t have my purse… it kinda… rebelled and flew away out of the window.” She prayed he would like kindly on her. She was wrong. The glare coming from the front of the cab was threatening, menacing and just damn scary.
“Okay before you try and club me let me explain.”
“No, you pay now!” Sam quickly tried to think of a way to try and con her way out of this, and she played the only card she could think of.
“I am the President of the United States of America, and I do not have to pay.”
“George Bush?” The driver said in shock.
“Uhh… yes.” Sam said suspiciously.
“Oh my God! Go, go, you no pay, go!” Sam took this as a sign of good fortune and ran off to her house… her red bricked exterior house.
“Wait… that’s not a White House.” The driver said as the door slammed shut behind Sam after racing past hedges and trampling her cat, snow snow.
“Dear God! This has been the most longest, worst… and by rights the most bizarre day I have ever had.” Sam kicked her shoes off and dived for the couch seeking time for solitude and calm.
“Fired, lost my purse and became the President all in the one day. What the hell am I doing?” Sam rolled off her stomach and onto her back on the couch. Just as Sam had rolled over if not by God then by some kind spirit keeping her safe, she glimpsed a light from one of the rooms down the hall flick off. At seeing the light turn off she rolled back on her stomach and relaxed. RELAX?!!!
“Ah!” Sam squealed, her eyes shot wide open realising that there was someone else in the house with her.
“Damn this always happens. A beautiful brunette trapped in a house with a serial killer and he goes and nocks her out and kills her cereal. Wait… I’m a blonde, not a brunette, and I don’t even like cereal.” Sam went to the phone in order to contact the police.
“The police will save me. No killer gonna kill me!” Sam yelled in triumph.
“Rule number one: When trapped in the house with an assumed killer, never scream to let him know where you are.” A strong male voice came from behind her.
“Yarrrr!!!” Sam screamed throwing the cordless phone into the air. The phone soared and landed… landed in the water filled sink.
“Damn this is a crap day!” Sam stamped in anger.
“Do you always scream like a pirate when you get frightened by strangers?” The mysterious intruder smirked.
“No bone head!” Sam came back.
“Bone head?” The man questioned pointing to his chest.
“Uh oh.” Sam bolted, screaming in a bizarre wail that could not have come from an ordinary person.
“WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAH! WAAAAAAAAAH!” Sam screeched running down the hall.
“Wait watch out!” The intruder called after her, not hearing his words Sam ran fast into the end wall of the corridor.
“Man… what an idiot.”
Sam awoke much later lying on the couch with someone holding an ice pack over her head.
“Ouch. That hurt.” Sam said opening her eyes.
“Yeah well you ran straight into a wall.” Sam’s eyes darted towards a man. He had long brown hair and strong stubble.
“Who? You broke into my house, thief!” Sam said still too weak to move.
“Yes, I did break in here to steal from you, but… finding out who owned the house. I think it would be better to not disturb your mind any further.”
“What is that supposed to mean!” Sam barked.
“Calm down Samantha, I was joking.”
“How do you know my name?” Sam asked now more than very nervous.
“I always scope out the person I intend to rob. I didn’t think you would be home yet however.” The man said taking the ice pack and putting it back into the freezer.
“Yeah well thanks to my bonehead boss I got fired. Can you believe that! I was indispensable! Indispensable I tell you!” Sam slammed her fist in fury.
“Your file says you got food for low lever employees.”
“See indispensable.” Sam said in a way that clearly said “Why doesn’t anyone get it.”
“Look Sam, I feel for you and seeing as I’m not going to steel from you, I may as well get something else from you.” The man looked her over. Sam felt his gaze all over her body.
“Oh no! You are not getting any of this ass!” Sam said defensively.
“No, not ass. Something… different.”
“Oh no! You want some… some sex! Well forget it buddy!” Sam tried standing.
“I don’t want your sex woman. I want your laughter.” The thief pushed her lightly back onto the couch. He removed a pair of hand cuffs from his pocket and locked her wrists together.
“What are you doing!” She yelled in desperation.
“And… where’d you get those.” She motioned to the cuffs in an excited kind of way. The man just smiled confusedly at her.
“I’m John.” The man said. John grabbed the cuffs helped Sam to her feet… then to the floor and with all the strength he could muster lifted one leg of the very heavy dining table off the ground and slip the cuffs behind it. He lowered the table back down and went to work. Sam was wearing a white business shirt and black skirt with long black pantyhose and bright pink stilettos. John gave a confused look at the pink shoes and looked at Sam’s face.
“Do you know how much those things cost?”
“No, but there going to come off soon anyway so it won’t really matter.” John said shrugging his shoulders. He looked at her white blouse hungrily and laid his hands on her belly. He grabbed the shirt and tore away to the sides, revealing a very slim and slightly toned stomach. John looked impressed.
“I work out.” Sam said proudly.
“Good.” John smiled. He placed a hand just under her blue bra and trailed down her stomach, over her belly button and to the tip of her skirt.
“How’d that feel Sam?” John asked in an almost whisper.
“Tickly, but… nice.” Sam giggled. She had been tide up by the man who was trying to rob her and all she could think of was that he touched her, made her feel alive with sensation. It was madness but she couldn’t fight it. John glided the pads of his fingers from the centre of her belly outward, over and over again. Sam bounced and giggled. John stepped things up and squeezed her sides and Sam exploded with giggles and raucous laughter.
“Oh Stohahahahahahahaap!”
“Okay.” John stopped immediately.
“No wait. Keep going.” John knew it, she wanted it, just as much as he did,
“As you wish.”
“EEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!” Sam squealed as john poked and squeezed her hips. John slowly unzipped Samantha’s skirt and slid it down her legs kissing them as he went. Sam giggled and felt like she was going to moan from pleasure. John removed the skirt and tossed it aside. He moved from her feet to her legs and brushed her thighs with his nails. He moved back up to her stomach and blew air on it eliciting shivers and small squeaks. He bent down and started to kiss her belly.
“He he he he, oh hehe that feels so AHA heheh tickly!” Sam began to squirm John began to kiss her belly button over and over and dipping his tongue in from time to time. Sam screeched loud enough for the Gods to hear when he did.
“Okay enough foreplay, now, for the real stuff.” John looked at her feet and Sam’s eyes shot far too wide for health concerns.
“Do-dohahahahahah!”
“Wow… you catch on quick.” Mr Bryar said with enlaced sarcasm.
“But how? I’m indispensable to the company!” Samantha continued to protest.
“You get lunches for the LOWER employees!” Bryar yelled back at the gaped mouth Samantha.
“As I said… indispensable.” Samantha began to get teary eyed.
“She’s crying, she’s bleeding crying.” The boss began to fume silently into his hand, which now cupped his eyes and mouth.
“Look Samantha-” Mr Bryar began to say but…
“No! You can’t fire me, I quit! Hah! Take that.” With what dignity she thought she had regained, Samantha stormed out of the head office and down the hall.
“Take what?” Bryar said to himself stunned. “That was what I wanted.” When Samantha reached the turn in the corridor to the elevator she threw her purse out of the window in spur of strength and integrity, but when Samantha reached her car…
“Damn it… my keys were in my bag. My bag which I threw out the window.”
After what felt like an eternity the cab arrived that Sam had called to take her home… the very same cab that was an hour late getting there. Slowly but surely the cab reached Sam’s home.
“That’s thirty two dollars eighty.” The thick Indian voice of the driver made for an awkward time for Sam could understand only nothing of what he was saying.
“I’m sorry, what did you say?”
“That’s thirty two dollars eighty.”
“What?” Sam asked almost anguished.
“That’s thirty two dollars eighty.”
“What?”
“Thirty two dollars eighty!”
“I can’t understand what the hell you are saying!” Sam screeched at the poor innocent cab driver.
“THIRTY two dollars eighty.”
“Wait, wait wait! Did you say “Thirty two dollars eighty.” Sam finally realising the amount… and simultaneously realising she had no money to pay the cab driver after throwing her purse out of the window in a fit of stupidity which she took as “A clever thing to do”.
“Um, I can kinda understand you, but I don’t have my purse… it kinda… rebelled and flew away out of the window.” She prayed he would like kindly on her. She was wrong. The glare coming from the front of the cab was threatening, menacing and just damn scary.
“Okay before you try and club me let me explain.”
“No, you pay now!” Sam quickly tried to think of a way to try and con her way out of this, and she played the only card she could think of.
“I am the President of the United States of America, and I do not have to pay.”
“George Bush?” The driver said in shock.
“Uhh… yes.” Sam said suspiciously.
“Oh my God! Go, go, you no pay, go!” Sam took this as a sign of good fortune and ran off to her house… her red bricked exterior house.
“Wait… that’s not a White House.” The driver said as the door slammed shut behind Sam after racing past hedges and trampling her cat, snow snow.
“Dear God! This has been the most longest, worst… and by rights the most bizarre day I have ever had.” Sam kicked her shoes off and dived for the couch seeking time for solitude and calm.
“Fired, lost my purse and became the President all in the one day. What the hell am I doing?” Sam rolled off her stomach and onto her back on the couch. Just as Sam had rolled over if not by God then by some kind spirit keeping her safe, she glimpsed a light from one of the rooms down the hall flick off. At seeing the light turn off she rolled back on her stomach and relaxed. RELAX?!!!
“Ah!” Sam squealed, her eyes shot wide open realising that there was someone else in the house with her.
“Damn this always happens. A beautiful brunette trapped in a house with a serial killer and he goes and nocks her out and kills her cereal. Wait… I’m a blonde, not a brunette, and I don’t even like cereal.” Sam went to the phone in order to contact the police.
“The police will save me. No killer gonna kill me!” Sam yelled in triumph.
“Rule number one: When trapped in the house with an assumed killer, never scream to let him know where you are.” A strong male voice came from behind her.
“Yarrrr!!!” Sam screamed throwing the cordless phone into the air. The phone soared and landed… landed in the water filled sink.
“Damn this is a crap day!” Sam stamped in anger.
“Do you always scream like a pirate when you get frightened by strangers?” The mysterious intruder smirked.
“No bone head!” Sam came back.
“Bone head?” The man questioned pointing to his chest.
“Uh oh.” Sam bolted, screaming in a bizarre wail that could not have come from an ordinary person.
“WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAH! WAAAAAAAAAH!” Sam screeched running down the hall.
“Wait watch out!” The intruder called after her, not hearing his words Sam ran fast into the end wall of the corridor.
“Man… what an idiot.”
Sam awoke much later lying on the couch with someone holding an ice pack over her head.
“Ouch. That hurt.” Sam said opening her eyes.
“Yeah well you ran straight into a wall.” Sam’s eyes darted towards a man. He had long brown hair and strong stubble.
“Who? You broke into my house, thief!” Sam said still too weak to move.
“Yes, I did break in here to steal from you, but… finding out who owned the house. I think it would be better to not disturb your mind any further.”
“What is that supposed to mean!” Sam barked.
“Calm down Samantha, I was joking.”
“How do you know my name?” Sam asked now more than very nervous.
“I always scope out the person I intend to rob. I didn’t think you would be home yet however.” The man said taking the ice pack and putting it back into the freezer.
“Yeah well thanks to my bonehead boss I got fired. Can you believe that! I was indispensable! Indispensable I tell you!” Sam slammed her fist in fury.
“Your file says you got food for low lever employees.”
“See indispensable.” Sam said in a way that clearly said “Why doesn’t anyone get it.”
“Look Sam, I feel for you and seeing as I’m not going to steel from you, I may as well get something else from you.” The man looked her over. Sam felt his gaze all over her body.
“Oh no! You are not getting any of this ass!” Sam said defensively.
“No, not ass. Something… different.”
“Oh no! You want some… some sex! Well forget it buddy!” Sam tried standing.
“I don’t want your sex woman. I want your laughter.” The thief pushed her lightly back onto the couch. He removed a pair of hand cuffs from his pocket and locked her wrists together.
“What are you doing!” She yelled in desperation.
“And… where’d you get those.” She motioned to the cuffs in an excited kind of way. The man just smiled confusedly at her.
“I’m John.” The man said. John grabbed the cuffs helped Sam to her feet… then to the floor and with all the strength he could muster lifted one leg of the very heavy dining table off the ground and slip the cuffs behind it. He lowered the table back down and went to work. Sam was wearing a white business shirt and black skirt with long black pantyhose and bright pink stilettos. John gave a confused look at the pink shoes and looked at Sam’s face.
“Do you know how much those things cost?”
“No, but there going to come off soon anyway so it won’t really matter.” John said shrugging his shoulders. He looked at her white blouse hungrily and laid his hands on her belly. He grabbed the shirt and tore away to the sides, revealing a very slim and slightly toned stomach. John looked impressed.
“I work out.” Sam said proudly.
“Good.” John smiled. He placed a hand just under her blue bra and trailed down her stomach, over her belly button and to the tip of her skirt.
“How’d that feel Sam?” John asked in an almost whisper.
“Tickly, but… nice.” Sam giggled. She had been tide up by the man who was trying to rob her and all she could think of was that he touched her, made her feel alive with sensation. It was madness but she couldn’t fight it. John glided the pads of his fingers from the centre of her belly outward, over and over again. Sam bounced and giggled. John stepped things up and squeezed her sides and Sam exploded with giggles and raucous laughter.
“Oh Stohahahahahahahaap!”
“Okay.” John stopped immediately.
“No wait. Keep going.” John knew it, she wanted it, just as much as he did,
“As you wish.”
“EEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!” Sam squealed as john poked and squeezed her hips. John slowly unzipped Samantha’s skirt and slid it down her legs kissing them as he went. Sam giggled and felt like she was going to moan from pleasure. John removed the skirt and tossed it aside. He moved from her feet to her legs and brushed her thighs with his nails. He moved back up to her stomach and blew air on it eliciting shivers and small squeaks. He bent down and started to kiss her belly.
“He he he he, oh hehe that feels so AHA heheh tickly!” Sam began to squirm John began to kiss her belly button over and over and dipping his tongue in from time to time. Sam screeched loud enough for the Gods to hear when he did.
“Okay enough foreplay, now, for the real stuff.” John looked at her feet and Sam’s eyes shot far too wide for health concerns.
“Do-dohahahahahah!”
