For a while, earlier this year, I stopped masturbating to tickle stuff and forced myself to watch vanilla porn every night and jack off to it. I was able to finish sometimes, but it took so much effort, almost like I had to "force myself" to like it...
Anyway I was just wondering if anyone else has had similar experiences
I matured very late, being short, and was also intelligent enough to have been selected along with several other students to complete grades 3, 4, and 5 in two years. As a result I was a few years behind my 'normal male' classmates in development and even more behind my female classmates. I would wander about, a head shorter than everyone else and still with an unbroken voice (that finally happened, but in French class when I was 16, and I got a humiliating round of cheers and applause) in a rolling sea of eye-level bosoms.
My male classmates would often bellow away in the locker room about their daily masturbatory prowess, citing multiple orgasms and height of ejaculate.
And I vowed to myself that if I ever hit puberty (doubtful as that was...) my first orgasm would occur with a girl, and so I resolutely avoided masturbating. My only celibate ejaculations occurred during wet dreams about guess what, which of course couldn't be helped, but somehow I held out until I was 17, when a lovely girl named A. exercised her arm on me one day when my parents weren't home.
I figured having managed that far I could continue abstaining, and that every orgasm would occur with a woman (I was in high school at the time, after all, so the word 'woman' is wryly amusing in retrospect) and I used that spur to go forth seeking. And I've kept that vow all my life, whether you believe it or not. It's made me promiscuous of necessity, and since the thought of hired sex appalled it made me read a lot of books on female psychology, and get out there and practice talking to 'them' even though I was completely useless at that side of things for years. I have often amused people with rueful tales of my ridiculously non-erotic adventures.
If you want to have sex in any of its permutations don't play spit in the carpet with Mary Palm and her five daughters.
Get out there and find it.
My absolute guarantee is that it will be difficult and humiliating and a lot of girls will turn you down, sometimes quite viciously.
My other absolute guarantee is that once in a blue moon you'll be successful, and your hit rate will increase vastly once you discover your style and what to say.
While doing all of this you will as a necessary consequence develop the hide of a rhinoceros so rejection will not hurt as much, but also as a consequence sex will not be as amazing psychologically as it used to be when it was a such a rare and unknown quantity.
That's the price you'll pay for your self-control and cold showers, but I found it worth it, and you might too.
Good luck.
And chat to five girls a day. It's a numbers game.