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Lately, I've been around here far less often than usual. Some of you may have noticed, a couple of you may have even cared. This was nothing personal; mostly it's because my girlfriend has moved into my apartment, and so much of time I normally devote to the forum has been spent doing a lot...

I don't think I've passed this night sober once in the last eight years. I'm not drowning my sorrows, mind you...in a weird way, it would feel disrespectful of me not to get drunk tonight. It's probably something only the Irish understand.:drunktype: I always try my best to conjure up old...

<a href="http://s932.photobucket.com/albums/ad163/j_gallag/Decorated%20images/?action=view&current=palpatine.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i932.photobucket.com/albums/ad163/j_gallag/Decorated%20images/palpatine.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a> by Emperor Palpatine I've just...

Lest anyone misunderstand the intention of my title, I am not advocating the murder of Sophia Coppola. I wish to make this perfectly clear to all my readers. Please do not kill Sophia Coppola. I do not want that. If you are a barista, do not poison her coffee. If you are an animal trainer, do...

To expand a little on the remarks below, I think part of why I hated this film so much also has to do with the fact that this came out right when I first acquired my own sources of income, and as a consequence this may have been the film that introduced me to the sensation of having thrown my...

This was written as a preface to a countdown of my five least favourite films of all time. As someone who is still unemployed and watches far too much TV, I can assure you that neither my masochistic appetite nor bitter loathing for things that suck has diminished in the months since writing...

As some of you have noticed (and have sometimes screamed at me in CAPS-locked fury), I suffer from a failing common to many aspiring writers: I can be something of a bombastic prick, with a hilariously inflated sense of my own importance. But rather than be filled with shame or impotent rage at...

Bad idea...

I realize that I have very few excuses left. I'm a big boy, you see. I'm almost 27 years old. I rarely wet my pants anymore, I never throw my applesauce up against the wall, and the only reason I cried at my last birthday party was because the clown wore scary makeup. <a...

I made a stunning discovery about myself today. They say the litmus-test of your sanity is how closely your self-perception matches up with how others see you.... Well, I've just realized that I am probably batshit crazy. Let me give you a little backstory so you understand... I was always...