Newbies to the Forum

[fordtech30]

I wanted to post this thread because I really think there is allot of misconception about when people talk about tickling on the forum. Or rather when guys talk to girls about tickling.


Now I know what you girls are gonna say. "Yes I like tickling, but I don't like guys saying, Oh my god your feet are so hot. Can I tickle them. Or can you send me pics of your feet?"

Or even "I would love to tickle you."

I agree. Some people just need to get out more. Maybe actually interact with people, but for the most part I think when some people find the forum, they are just over excited.

When I first found the forum I looked at some member pics. I saw countless pics of girls that posted a little message under their pic saying something like "Can't wait for you to tickle me. Or I love to be tickled."

These may even lead people to believe that this forum is just about tickling. It was only after someone actually told me about some of the people on here that I began to get to know you all. I have met some pretty cool people on here.

My point is does anyone think maybe we give the newbies too hard of a time when they first get on? If they seem to talk tickling maybe a little too much.

We all know what it's like to think we are the only ones with this fetish. "Why do I get turned on by this?" we ask ourselves.

Some of us stumbled across the TMF. Then it was like I can't believe there are others!!

I just thought maybe we should cut the newbies some slack. I ask for the thoughts of my brothers and sisters of the forum.

[AmandaBear]

I agree. In a way, it's a good thing I found the forum when I wasn't of legal age to join because it gave me some time to read a lot of the posts and sorta calm down from all the excitement of finding other ticklephiles like me. So when I really was a n00b of the forum (still kinda am lol), I didn't talk about tickling non-stop. In fact, I barely talked about tickling at all. lol

But sometimes it is hard to leave the newbies alone if they don't bother to post all that much, I guess. There are probably more members here with only 1 or 2 posts than the regulars who post, like, everyday. =/

[Artoo]

My point is does anyone think maybe we give the newbies too hard of a time when they first get on? If they seem to talk tickling maybe a little too much.

I don't intentionally give n00bs a hard time, but because I obviously know nothing about them I find it easier to stand back a bit and let them do what they do, before I make a judgement call.
I do try and give out subtle pointers from the onset, though I don't want to appear condescending. I mean, when I was a n00b, I still had an idea of how to approach people online without coming off as a complete nutcase.

Also, it's not just n00bs who are unaware of "forum ettiquette". There are more than a handful of vets who are just as guilty of it.

[Capnmad]

Promoting greater understanding is always a good idea, but it seems virtually impossible to move the community as a unit.

One could get a handful, perhaps, to be more understanding and tolerant temporarily, but that sort of thing tends to be worn down as they're exposed to more of the same problem over time.

Like, 90% of the time when I used to go to the chatroom, there'd be someone who wanted to know if I wanted to talk about celebs being tickled. Nothing wrong with asking, if that's your thing, but to do so every time a person pops in is a little much, especially if you'd been turned down before. Besides, I know virtually nothing about celebrities and try to keep it that way. Now, I was never rude to the person, but I could see how others with shorter tempers might be. I stopped going to the chatroom in any event, and that solved any of my annoyance.

Problem is, even if it's not the same person doing the asking time after time, each of us are individuals, and so, to our personal experience, it's the same person being asked over and over -- it's us. And no matter who it is, if you play the same song over and over, they'll get tired of it eventually, and either change stations, or if they can't, that radio's gonna' get broken.

When I first came here, and I first stepped into the chatroom, I didn't know what any of it was about, and my internet experience was pretty one-dimensional. I'd only ever chatted 2-3 times before on one random site or another, never met anyone from online, never made real-life friends from online -- never really considered that to be an option. So my initial interaction was understandably one dimensional -- I was the "A/S/L?"/"Where are you ticklish?" guy.

But I was only that guy for about 30 seconds, 'til the person I was speaking to told me she was about more than that, and that I should talk to her like a normal person. So I did.

For a split-second, the idea of treating some text on a screen like a real person was alien to me, but then it came quite naturally, because I knew how to treat people in real life.

The sentiment behind your idea is good, but flexibility on the side of communal understanding and tolerance toward the awkward first steps of new members will only ever equal the collective flexibility of new members to learn from these missteps and correct them.

Rigidity on either side is a pity, and in an ideal world, both should learn to flow like water, but alas, we are not all so able.

I don't imagine that the person who constantly asked about celebrities has changed. They'd kept the pattern for quite some time, so perhaps they saw no need. Perhaps one out of a hundred people responded well to that, and that's all they required. But that's their rigidity, and one cannot expect the world to bend to it and accommodate it for long, however one implores.

[KrazieDog]

Giving someone a hard time is one thing, but not having any kind of social etiquette is another. Everyone here legally is an adult. No one is here to teach them social skills they should have by now. As you mentioned in the OP, it's the way it's personally presented to them. If a newbie (or anyone for that matter) comes along and wants to talk about tickling, they can post every day in the tickling discussion area because that's what it is there for. People can choose to participate if they'd like. The ladies here have said over and over they get tired of "stranger #1" coming out of nowhere, opening dialogue with them by sending a pm and saying "show me your feet", "where are you most ticklish", or the popular "a/s/l". People in general, not just the ladies, and not just here tend to like a little more interested opening. Especially when "a/s/l" and "ticklish spots" are in their profile a lot of the time. If someone doesn't take 30 seconds to look at their profile, then how interested are they really in them versus just looking for a fantasy conversation for porn fodder. There has to be some distinguishing between newbies and members with no posts also. Some here are just lurkers and that's cool. Others intentionally don't post, have no profile, but pm every female on the forum "just to talk tickling".

Take for example, you send a pm to someone saying, "I noticed in the thread about theater/cars/tennis/music/etc, you really like "so and so". I'm also into that since I was a kid. Do you still practice blah blah..." You are showing an interest in something they are interested in, and taking a notice of that. I understand some of the creepers use that tactic also, because the above opener is usually followed immediately with one of the questions from the beginning, but it still initially shows more interest than for other means. Opening with "show me your feet" is both ridiculous because that is a demand not a question, and if you want to see her feet, it's "probably" a fetish. You might as well open with "hey stranger, show me your tits". Might not be how you are envisioning it, but just may be how they are.

Another thing that's important a lot of the time is a profile. While you may be a little shy, in person a lot of the ladies here have said "If they have no information filled out in the profile it seems that they may just be lurking around and not interested in having anyone get to know them. If you can't take a minute to fill in a few blanks, why should I sit here answering all of the ones I did fill out that you chose not to go and read.

Again, all of the above has been said here time and again, either on the forum or in real life. They are all valid reasons to be cautious/annoyed. It's easy for us guys to say its no big deal because we rarely have those issues, but some of the ladies deal with it on a daily basis, especially when they are new and that's why vets, mods, etc may warn them/inform them/enlighten them as to what's up. I know someone here that is predominately a lurker even though she has a large group of friends here specifically because within a couple days of her first post, she had 51, yes 5-1, creepy pm's and one guy asked her to move in when him. I'd love to know the actual number of females lurking here, some even posting as guys (yes that happens), all because of people that don't know how to talk to others.

So do they get a hard time for posting in TK Discussion? I don't think so. Do they get it from trying to talk about it one on one a lot? Probably, but I can't say it's unwarranted. Just try to strike up a conversation first, and its ok to even ask if they mind talking about tickling.

I don't imagine that the person who constantly asked about celebrities has changed.

No they haven't. I tend to only go to the chatroom on Sunday nights for trivia, and I'm asked, almost every single time by the same person. I'm totally fine with them asking once, because if that's your thing, awesome, but when I say "it's not my thing" week after week after week, I just want to turn a flame thrower on them.

[Musicroxmysox]

I'm the first to welcome new people and chat with them. My AIM is always open.

On the other hand I don't think it to much to ask that people have some manners.

Enough said. Manners matter, even if that sounds really corny.

[RobAce]

The main thing here to remember is what a few have already said, things like tact, manners, all that jazz.

If you go to a club, you know they serve liquor and women expect guys to ask them to dance. But hopefully you would not run straight to the bar down 20 shots of vodka then go to every woman in the area and chat up EVERY SINGLE WOMAN and ask all of them to dance. No, of course not. That same principle pretty much is echoed here.

Yes, we are all IN A TICKLING FORUM! WE ALL LIKE TICKLING!! Got it, point made. But you see since you already KNOW THAT, the ladies seem to like people to get to know them so they feel more comfortable talking about the fetish. When wanting to converse with the large amount of lovely ladies that we have here in the forum, try gettng to know them as a person and not as a fetish doll. The ladies here are more than a pair of feet, a nice belly, etc... The ladies here have feelings, dreams, thoughts, opinions, as well as being ticklish.

That seems to be the problem with most of the ladies I talk to. They tell me they are less likely to talk and open up with men that ALL they talk about is tickling, or the majority of the time its all "tickle, tickle, tickle". Why...simple. Because if that is all you seem to care about, most of the ladies here are members of this forum for more than "tickle talk". They are here to explore their fetish, learn more about it, MEET PEOPLE, network, build relationships. Not just to come to the forum, tickle talk with 4 guys a day then leave. Spend all day in a PM or in the chat room or visitor messaging with someone that is talking about something that should be common sense. Yes, they are into tickling.

The ladies here as most anywhere enjoy variety. So just because they are on a tickling board, does not mean it is their only interest.

Lastly several ladies I know have told me when they have responded kindly to a "Where are you ticklish" PM from a Noob, the Noob automatically seemed to puppy dog them around the forum. And act like they were partners or something. Constantly wanting to know more and more sexually charged material about them, and then when the lady tells them, look I answered to question to be nice but your really starting to bug me, they go around and call the lady a "bitch" and "cock-tease".

Its really hard to find a great balance, but the best advice I can give is what I have said several times:
We all are here because we enjoy tickling. We know that. Get to know them, not their fetish. Because you already know you have that in common.

Rob

[Bugman]

What Cap,Krazie,Mel and Rob said.Approach people here with some respect and decency,and truely amazing things can happen.

[asutickler]

ZOMG R U A GURL?!?!

A/S/L???

DO U HAZ FEETS!!!?!?!!?!1?!

[tklee88]

ZOMG R U A GURL?!?!

A/S/L???

DO U HAZ FEETS!!!?!?!!?!1?!

*facepalm*