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Restricting PM Access (gently)

subtle_feather

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Joined
Mar 9, 2008
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I am taking this idea from something I posted in another thread on the forum. Just wonder if anyone thinks this would be a good idea.

This is an issue that has often come up in this forum: the prevalence of the CreepyPM™. New women sign up, introduce themselves, and are immediately pm'd to death, often by members who never post otherwise.

A possible solution has occurred to me (and, simultaneously, to tickler118).

What do you all think about this: What if new members had the PM function restricted until they reached a milestone post count? For example, let's pretend that no one could send or receive a pm on this forum until they reached a post count of 20. While that wouldn't put a stop to all creepy pm's, I think it would cut down on the deluge new women receive without making it too difficult to become a fully-fledged member.

Thoughts?
 
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I've seen this method done on other forums I have been, and while it stinks not to have a full tool set to play around with the day you sign on, it could hypothetically cut down on things. Should be an easy thing to do as well.
 
I would be against this. It may do a fine job restricting some of those labeled as "creepy PM's", but I have gotten to know many nice women on this forum that are purely lurkers and never post. 3 of my current female playmates in here in GA are among those that have never posted in the forum, and only communicate through PM's and such.

They do not want to post in the open forums, for fear of that deluge.

And lets be real, not ALL (most likely very few) PM's that may be labeled as creepish come from non-posting members. Most of them come from people who have a post count in the 100's.

In talking to one of my female friends I mentioned before, most of her PM's were indeed from people I see post.

I really think this would hurt those members we may be trying to help, as in the many ladies here who do not openly post often or at all.

Rob
 
I would be against this. It may do a fine job restricting some of those labeled as "creepy PM's", but I have gotten to know many nice women on this forum that are purely lurkers and never post. 3 of my current female playmates in here in GA are among those that have never posted in the forum, and only communicate through PM's and such.

They do not want to post in the open forums, for fear of that deluge.

And lets be real, not ALL (most likely very few) PM's that may be labeled as creepish come from non-posting members. Most of them come from people who have a post count in the 100's.

In talking to one of my female friends I mentioned before, most of her PM's were indeed from people I see post.

I really think this would hurt those members we may be trying to help, as in the many ladies here who do not openly post often or at all.

Rob

I certainly respect that point of view, but could this be mitigated by still allowing members to post email addresses and im handles in their profiles?
 
I certainly respect that point of view, but could this be mitigated by still allowing members to post email addresses and im handles in their profiles?

I understand that option is open, but some members may not want to initially show their email address. And some may not want to post their IM handles. Especially if they are new and it is their first time on this forum.

They also may feel nervous, and sending a PM may seem less intrusive then sending an email. Especially if they do not want their email address known until they get to know that person.

Rob
 
20 posts is a lot. Many people on here don't reach 20 posts.

My thought would be different. How about something like: No PMing new girls until the day that person makes their first post, whenever that is. This way, lurkers don't get deluged. Or.. maybe set a certain amount of days old members have to wait, before pming new girls. Say, no PM's to new girls for their first 3, 5, or even 7 days, as it may be, to allow newbies to get used to the forum, before being deluged with PM's.

I've never seen such a method at the other forums I belong to, but something like this could work. It would be up to the admins to decide.

Mitch
 
And lets be real, not ALL (most likely very few) PM's that may be labeled as creepish come from non-posting members. Most of them come from people who have a post count in the 100's.

Really? Most of the creepy PMs I've gotten (not the "Hi, nice to meet you" ones, but the "I want to tickle your feet and have sexy sex with you" ones) were from guys with a post count of zero. There were some from regular posters though.
 
I understand that option is open, but some members may not want to initially show their email address. And some may not want to post their IM handles. Especially if they are new and it is their first time on this forum.

They also may feel nervous, and sending a PM may seem less intrusive then sending an email. Especially if they do not want their email address known until they get to know that person.

Rob

I suppose I am approaching this from the point of view that it is possible to create a new, tickle-only email address pretty easily.

Another way to look at the situation, though, would be to set an option where members could choose whether or not to accept pm's from other members with less than x number of posts.

My original thinking on the subject, though, was that pm'ing is a privilege that should be earned and respected. Making it a little difficult to earn it would likely make people respect it more, know what I mean?

As always, full respect for the opposing points of view.
 
It is already possible to set your pms so that only people on your contact list can pm you so no one would be able to PM you that you yourself did not want to get to know...
 
I like the suggestion but I don't think a post count minimum is the solution. It's a deterrent to lurkers who actually will use it responsibly, and one shouldn't have to give away personal contact info in order to communicate directly on here.

I'm not sure I see a better solution than reporting creepy pm's and restricting pm access to friends if it is a problem.
 
ray, I disagree with your suggestion for this reason. How can a new girl, who doesn't know anyone when she joins the forum, set a contact list of people she wants to know? I'm not sure I see the reasoning for that. A better way might just be to set either a certain amount of days guys have to wait to PM new girls, or, set a rule of no PMing lurkers until they actually post.

This is just my thought. I dont know if it will ever be done.

Mitch
 
Women always think guys are creepy no matter what they do.

Not true. I get tons of messages, so I don't have time to answer most of them, but I'm not creeped out by all the messages I get from guys.

Okay: "Hi, how are you? welcome to the forum. My name is _______."

Not okay: "hey ur a vry sxy girl, i wud like to tickle ur ft sometime so we should meet up and u shd send me pics of ur sexy feet!"
 
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