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 In recent news ????
Osama Bin-Laden started believing in astrology and went to a special astrologist to ask him when will be the day he dies.
"You will die on an American holiday", said the astrologist.
"How can you be so sure of that?" asked Bin-Laden.
"Well, any day you die will be an American holiday".
Also this moring.
An atheist went to the governor's office to ask about holidays. His complaint was that why does everyone else have a holiday. For example, Christians have Easter and Christmas. The Jewish Have Yom Kippur, etc. The Governor replied "You really want a holiday just for atheists?", "Yes, absolutely!" was his answer. The Governor replies, "Ok, your holiday will be on April 1st".
In other news.
Last Tuesday, as President Obama got off the Helicopter in front of the White House, he was carrying a baby piglet under each arm.. The squared away Marine guard snaps to attention, Salutes, and says: "Nice pigs, Sir." The President replies: "These are not pigs. These are authentic Arkansas Razorback Hogs. I got one for Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and I got one for Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi." The squared away Marine again snaps to attention, Salutes, and says: "Excellent trade, sir."
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 Originally Posted by Jay1
In other news.
Last Tuesday, as President Obama got off the Helicopter in front of the White House, he was carrying a baby piglet under each arm.. The squared away Marine guard snaps to attention, Salutes, and says: "Nice pigs, Sir." The President replies: "These are not pigs. These are authentic Arkansas Razorback Hogs. I got one for Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and I got one for Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi." The squared away Marine again snaps to attention, Salutes, and says: "Excellent trade, sir."
LMAO 
Very funny. 
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*TUFKAT - The User Formerly Known As TKLMAN
"Jesus was a cross-dresser."
- George Carlin
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Puff is my Earth 
Tumbles is my Earth 
My vorpal bunny Zatana
A tank filled with holes. For that is what we shall be.Boom we go,goodbye.
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Originally Posted by Jay1
In other news.
Last Tuesday, as President Obama got off the Helicopter in front of the White House, he was carrying a baby piglet under each arm.. The squared away Marine guard snaps to attention, Salutes, and says: "Nice pigs, Sir." The President replies: "These are not pigs. These are authentic Arkansas Razorback Hogs. I got one for Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and I got one for Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi." The squared away Marine again snaps to attention, Salutes, and says: "Excellent trade, sir."
When all is said and done, more is usually said than done. 
Being ignorant is not so much a shame, as being unwilling to learn.
Benjamin Franklin.
Helena is my Goddess of The East. 
Goddess_Nemesis is my adopted niece. 
Kered is Classy's bitch. 
Carsomyr is my Viking brother.
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Demagogue: one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.
All I ask is equal freedom. When it is denied, as it always is, I take it anyhow.
Democracy, too, is a religion. It is the worship of jackals by jackasses.
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Kinky is with a feather; Perverted is with a chicken.
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In other news.
Last Tuesday, as President Obama got off the Helicopter in front of the White House, he was carrying a baby piglet under each arm.. The squared away Marine guard snaps to attention, Salutes, and says: "Nice pigs, Sir." The President replies: "These are not pigs. These are authentic Arkansas Razorback Hogs. I got one for Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and I got one for Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi." The squared away Marine again snaps to attention, Salutes, and says: "Excellent trade, sir."
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^Now that was the funny one^
The Secret to Tickling is to make the Person being Tickled Enjoy It.
Good Things Come To Those Who Wait.
Man who fights with woman by day, will get NO PIECE at night.
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