How many straight guys would let another guy tie and tickle them?

mark.simon46 said:

... I am not in denial about my sexuality and while I identify as straight, I am also open to new experiences and do not have hang ups about gender. Myriad hit the proverbial nail on the head as his post basically identified that I do get turned on by power exchange. .

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You may identify yourself as straight, but you have defined yourself here as being bisexual. And there's nothing wrong with that.

LadyKilroy said:

"Dude, you're gay."
"You're not straight. You may pretend and think you are, but you're not."
"How on earth could you possibly be straight? I'm positive you're not..."
"You're not entirely straight. Sorry to break it to you."

These are statements that directly judge another person and call them a liar when there is absolutely no evidence except the opinion and perception of the accusing poster. THIS is what I feel is wrong.

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I couldn't disagree more. They are not calling him a "liar" directly or even be inference. They are correcting what they believe is erroneous information. For example, if we were discussing geography and you mentioned the Amazon River in Africa, I might correct you by saying it's actually in South America. That would not be calling you a liar, but simply correcting erroneous information.

In the same way, the OP was putting out information:

a) I'm straight

b) I like being tied and tickled by other guys

Those responses to whom you object are simply identifying what they see as an unresolvable conflict between a and b. It's not like they were coming out of the blue and saying, "Hey, YOU'RE GAY! HAHAHA!" And despite what the OP says about being "surprised about all the negativity," I find it far more likely that he fully expected the blowback. (ooh...bad choice of words?)

Lady K, is it possible your objection revolves more around the idea of gender identification? I've noticed in today's society that for whatever reason a great emphasis is placed on the "right" to identify as any gender or gender preference. As an example, Facebook recently changed their profile section so that it now offers 58 genders by which people can identify. According to this particular school of thought, if Joe Blow identifies a certain way, and Johnny disagree with his assessment, Johnny's denying that "right of identification." He's being "judgmental." Which of course will be followed by all the trademark accusations of "bigotry," "prejudice," "hate," blah blah blah and so on.

This is an interesting topic. In my experience, based one people I know personally, a man's sexuality is usually far less fluid than a woman's. Meaning, I know men who identify either as gay or straight and rarely anything in between. Women, however, tend to be a little more fluid with their sexuality. I have tons of straight female friends who say stuff like "I'm straight but I would totally fuck Scarlett Johansson" or "Yeah I've kissed a few girls, no big deal...."

I've always wondered if this a nature vs nurture kind of thing. Are women able to operate on a wider sexual spectrum because its more social acceptable or are they naturally wired differently?

I honestly do not know the answer, I've read articles that have argued for both theories, so who knows. But if you read this thread posted here a while back, we basically have a woman asking a similar question. Notice they difference in tone by which people respond to her, versus the tone and responses the OP here gets.

Okay, a few points:

Firstly, Bator... I do apologize if you were blanket included in something where I implied that I thought your comment in particular was narrow-minded. I would have to read them again to be sure, but I was honestly just looking for people who posted a variety of seemingly "negative" comments which I did not feel were "wrong" per se. I did use the word "may" when it came to my own personal disagreement, because I did not necessarily think them ALL narrow-minded. It was my intention to contrast a bulk group of statements in a very general sense to make a point regarding what irritated me. I was not wanting to argue with you specifically, I was merely highlighting your comment because you chose words that did not point fingers, which I appreciate. I'm sorry you completely missed this.

Also, DAJT... while I am impressed by your knowledge and awareness of gender identification issues, I would like to point out that this is technically not directly related. Gender identity is independent of sexual preference. People who identify as men, women, or neither can be found all along the spectrum of what they call gay/straight. In this case, there was little ambiguity... the OP seems to identify as male, and this was never called into question.

I did use similar terms though, because the term "identify" is also very commonly used to refer to how people view their sexual preference. For example, I "identify" as bisexual. That means I call myself this. While tickling is not even remotely always sexual for me, I can be turned on being tickled by or tickling a woman as well as a man, and I am attracted to women as well as men outside of this fetish. I have also been tickled by family members, and that was not even remotely sexual for me, because I am not attracted to the person doing it. See the difference?

Here, the OP was saying he was not interested in sex with men, but was interested in tickling with them. What he did not specify either way was whether being tickled by men was a turn-on, or just something he craved in a sensory way. Therefore, it was uncalled-for, in my opinion, to say that he, for a FACT, was actually gay and accuse him of posting for false reasons. That IS calling a person a liar, no matter how you color it later. Now, had they said, "Dude, have you ever considered the fact you might be gay/bisexual?" would have been FINE. (That's the other thing... a woman who tickles women is clearly able to be straight or bi, but a guy who tickles men is ONLY able to be gay it would seem, according to the language used by many here.)

Which brings me to Sodahead's post... which I will simply say I think is a very clear and interesting example of how people perceive the sexuality of men versus women. Society is, in fact, more accepting of physical contact between women than between men. I simply believe that something like sexual preference is far more personal than that, and just because there are men out there who defy the social and/or genetic programming and crave the same physical contact platonically with men that "straight" women enjoy with other women, that this does not give anybody outside the experience the right to call it "gay" or not. We can't know. We can ASK, but we cannot TELL.

I hope this clarifies things.

LadyKilroy said:

While tickling is not even remotely always sexual for me, I can be turned on being tickled by or tickling a woman as well as a man, and I am attracted to women as well as men outside of this fetish. I have also been tickled by family members, and that was not even remotely sexual for me, because I am not attracted to the person doing it. See the difference?

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The question isn't what makes a person gay or straight but rather do they view tickling as sex. For some of us, there is no divide. I could never, ever get tickled or tickle a family member, a child...nothing like that. The thought literally makes me gag. For me, tickling is probably MORE intimate and sexual than intercourse. To me it's like saying, "Hey, I could ass fuck a member of my family and it wouldn't necessarily be sexual!" But I totally recognize that I'm abnormal, and I can't expect others to stop tickling in a non-sexual context just because it makes me uncomfortable.

When I realized tickling was a fetish, I didn't realize that not everyone viewed it as sex the way I do. I always thought a fetish meant viewing a non-sexual thing as sex, but I've since learned there are many shades to this. Some people view it more as a fascination or simply an interest, and I can see how those people could perhaps participate with a member of the same sex and not view it as gay. I can see it logically, it's just difficult for me to understand with the emotional part of my mind.

First off, I'm a ler, so I don't like people tickling me, whether it's a man or a woman. ... But if I did, I'd say no to men. Tickling isn't always sexual for me. It only becomes sexual when I'm attracted to the person I'm tickling. However, I consider tickling kinda like hugging. I don't go around hugging other guys, even though hugging is not sexual. It feels weird. Just like tickling. To me tickling feels weird doing it with another guy even if it's not sexual and just for one of the many other reasons I tickle females.

I also don't really like watching males be tickled... because when I'm watching then that's usually for sexual reasons...

When it comes to men liking being tickled or tickling other men, I respect their beliefs and I won't call another guy gay because he lets a guy tickle them if he says he's straight. Although I understand why people call them gay. But I like Airithedestroyer's post when she said when f/f women tickle each other people don't outright call them gay. I also think a lot of people read her post the wrong way. She was talking about the double standard that if women tickle each other they're not gay, but if guys do it they are gay.

And someone mentioned that because of social standings or cultural beliefs (or whatever, I don't feel like going through this whole thread to find out exactly what he said) that when women do it it doesn't make them gay because naturally girls are closer to each other... so when guys do it they have to be gay because we don't go around doing that. You do realize those are cultural beliefs we put on ourselves. It doesn't make them true. It's not some biological thing that's in our genes to not be close enough with other guys to tickle them or let them tickle us. That's just something we've grown up believing. Like saying you have to be big and tough if you're a man, which is total BS. So to say that the reason that men are gay if they tickle other men or let other men tickle them, even though it's okay for women to do that sorta thing is stupid. If two guys feel like tickling each other, but not going beyond tickling, let them. Don't insult them saying that they're gay even if they say they're not. Don't tell them that they're lying to themselves. Just let them enjoy the tickling.

Nope.

I doubt those guys are straight then. They'd be bicurious if they did IMO.

Well I'm definitely str8 with regard to "normally accepted" sexual activities, but I would and have GREATLY enjoyed getting tickled by other guys. It's been a while, but those encounters definitely rank among my fondest memories. But I have no interest in doing "normally accepted" sexual activities with other guys, so I know I'm not a closet gay.

M/m.... not applicable (to me).

Hey OP.

I'm a gay dude, and I realize that you weren't directing this thread towards me, but I always find these conversations interesting whenever they come up. I would like to share a different perspective then what we've had so far.

I used to also think that tickling and sex were completely inseparable for all tickle fetishists as well. I mean, that only makes sense, not only from how I experience tickling, but also from the very idea of a tickling fetish. But after I joined the TMF and started frequenting the chatroom, I found that people can be much more complicated than that. Namely, I have met a BUNCH of guys like you OP - men who want to tickle other men but draw the line when it comes to sex. It was a bit confusing and kind of disappointing at first (where are all my gaybois at?!) but what I've come to find after chatting it up in many, many private conversations throughout the years is that it's a little of everything:

Some of the dudes I talked to found m/m to be sexually appealing.

Some of the dudes I talked to were definitely bi but didn't want to admit it because they were afraid it would make them "unmanly."

Some of the dudes I talked to liked "the idea" of tickling a guy but had no plans to actually pursue an m/m scene in real life.

And some of the dudes I talked to simply wanted to tickle another guy for the sense of power it gives them. Despite my best efforts, they would reject any and all flirtatious advances I would make towards them.

So yes, sometimes someone's domination/submission needs can become uncoupled from there sexual needs. These people can enjoy a scene regardless of who the other participant is. That's confusing to someone like me who doesn't see tickling in that way, but I've met enough people who are like that that I've just come to accept it.

I mean, the human brain can be wired in any manner of ways (we're on an adult forum dedicated to tickling for crying out loud) so really it shouldn't be surprising that sometimes are people are just different like that.

Just my two cents

Newsflash: Those of us who like m/m tickling (for whatever reason) don't need or deserve to be condescended to in our community.

I personally know of a few straight men who have been tickled by other men. Some cases the other gentleman was gay...other instances one of the player was tied down.

In my mind it's all good if it's consensual.

Mia--ever have a FM/M session?

TKLNYC said:

Newsflash: Those of us who like m/m tickling (for whatever reason) don't need or deserve to be condescended to in our community.

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Agreed.

So is there a difference in being tickled by a man or by a woman who you are not sexually attracted to at all? I've had women I was not attracted to tickle me. I'm not sure what the difference is

Personally, I wouldn't allow it. I'm just not comfortable with it.

That being said, I don't believe any Male who likes M/M, or is open to M/M, should have their Masculinity & Sexuality automatically questioned on that alone. And I'm certainly not gonna put down any Male who does enjoy M/M, or is open to M/M.

Two girls tickle eachother, nobody automatically calls them Lesbians

BBGuy5240 said:

Two girls tickle eachother, nobody automatically calls them Lesbians

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What's that some of you are saying? "Well, no, but F/F is MEGA-ULTRA-SUPER-HOT, and it's even better when they're not gay!", right guys? Eh? Ehhhhhhhhh?


Oh, excuse me. I think I hear my "Double Standard-ometer" going off.

Guys tickling other guys is completely disgusting. Deplorable. Putrid. It's the same to me as guys ass pounding other dudes.

I read every post in this whole thread carefully, and want to make two things clear in what I';m about to post.

One: What another person does it not my business to judge, so long as their actions are not affecting me. If one straight guy wants to tickle another straight guy, that is their business, so long as the straight guy they are tickling isn't me. It is not my right to label them as "Gay". Similarly, if another guy asked me to tickle him, my answer would be no, because I don't find tickling another guy to be a turn on.

Now, for myself, I would never let another guy tie and tickle me, for one simple reason.

I view tickling as a sexual action, something that I enjoy doing to another person, and having done to me, which turns me on sexually. The only gender that turns me on sexually is/are women. While I'm admittedly both ler and lee, and would have absolutely no problem being tied and tickled unmercifully by a female ler, I simply would be turned off/revolted if the ler was a man, sorry.

I've been strictly m/f and f/m, and am straight, but for the right price... maybe.

I'm straight, have been tickled by men nonsexually, and love it. You're choice in behavior does not define your sexual orientation. A straight man can fuck a guy and he's still straight, a gay man can choose to fuck a woman, he's still gay. It's really not complicated at all.

Mitchell said:

While I'm admittedly both ler and lee, and would have absolutely no problem being tied and tickled unmercifully by a female ler, I simply would be turned off/revolted if the ler was a man, sorry.

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What if she blindfolded you, said she would "be right back" after getting some tools, had a guy enter the room and tickle torture you without mercy? You would become aroused by being tickled by a MAN. How would you feel when you removed the blindfold and saw another man?

just for the heck of it (and, I was bored...), as far as the ORIGINAL QUESTION, here's a breakdown (at least, how I read the posts): 73 posts total, 6 yes, 21 no, 2 maybe. The other 44 are arguing other points. That should give some insight on the price of tea in China.

TripleH1 said:

I'm straight, have been tickled by men nonsexually, and love it.

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Why would you choose a man over a woman if you're straight? And if you don't have the opportunity of interacting with a woman, do you 'straightly' have sex with men instead?

TripleH1 said:

You're [sic] choice in behavior does not define your sexual orientation. A straight man can fuck a guy and he's still straight,...

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How can he have the desire to be anywhere near a man in a sexual sense if he's not at least bi? How could he function sexually otherwise? And how about your famous "straight man" who 'chooses' to be fucked? What does that make him?

TripleH1 said:

...a gay man can choose to fuck a woman, he's still gay. It's really not complicated at all.

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If he 'chooses' to fuck a woman, he's bi, not gay. Gay people say homosexuality is not a choice. You cannot 'choose' to be aroused.