Ladies, do you ever feel...

xionking · Feb 26, 2015

In saying that, I appreciate the time and considered approach people have towards one another.

Emulator · Feb 27, 2015

Sorry, I am also not a lady, but will state my point.

I unfortunately have to admit that when I first registered on these adult sites years ago (under a different account), I had some very hopeful expectations to meet up and have a tickle partner or something romantic (mixed with tickling of course). I was young and immature when I first got on here and very unaware of the culture; I did assume that it was more of a "let's Role Play or arrange a meetup" type of atmosphere and blended into the pre-conventional ones, but would like to assume that I was a quick learner, as I acclimated and began to develop friends.

Simultaneously, I met many female account users (I'm not going to use the term "ladies", as many were/are catfish; that we can all be sure of) who also were just up for role playing or attempting meetups. Obviously it happens on both sides, but is far more dominate among males. One time I made a female account just to see what it was like; what regular female users had to put up with, and it was atrocious (with that said, I'd rather be regularly overloaded with interested parties, instead of having to exercise consistent solitude. Pick and choose is rather easy for me.) to say at the least.

Nowadays, I simply seek friendship (unless she initiates a potential meetup, in which my expectations are extremely low, as she normally bails at some point). Role playing happens sometimes, but after having a RL session, the excitement of cyber tickling has taken a huge dent. It's still fun to get on here and chat with the regulars... I'd like to think that I am very much a part of the community. Unfortunately, I am still guilty of being "one of those guys" when I first got on here Chicago, and am sincerely sorry.

Though I am not pleased about the fact, you also have to keep in mind: If males were not like this, we would be extinct. Horrifying but very true. (No pun and pun intended)

TicklishBlackGuy · Feb 27, 2015

whatever happened to the ladies stating there opinions lol
and bean stop trolling the girls and fuck off dude. You don't
know everything so stop trying >_> iike seriously

Bohemianne · Feb 27, 2015

chicago said:
Thank you for reminding me how lucky i am to have those friends and i appreciate the advice.

You’re welcome.

...

I'll add a bit. In a way, maybe Art is a distraction that made it easier for me around here.

beansontoast · Feb 27, 2015

The truth hurts.

chicago · Feb 27, 2015

xionking said:
rather than in a round about way labelling guys who pm girls as a nuisance...

Again, I didn't mean to imply that men are the only offenders or that females are the only people who have this issue. And it's not really a pm thing I'm talking about. Nor am I talking about those interested in a casual encounter. I've gotten all kinds of messages from men and women and I tend to make it clear I am not looking for casual encounters / meet ups / sessions / etc. I don't want to waste anyone's time, just like I don't want to waste mine. Nothing against people who want to look for that at all.

It's when I make my interests clear and someone continues to chat / befriend me and then after a few conversations, or even many conversations, they push the idea of meeting again, despite knowing I'm not into that. Or, if they know I'm going to be attending a gathering in the future that they may be interested in, they try to push for play at the event - again - despite me clearly stating I'm not in to that from the get go.

Sorry if I gave the wrong impression.

maniactickler · Feb 27, 2015

Chicago, your right. a majority of men here just see women as slabs of tickle flesh.

UrGonnaGetTikld · Feb 27, 2015

chicago said:
Again, I didn't mean to imply that men are the only offenders or that females are the only people who have this issue. And it's not really a pm thing I'm talking about. Nor am I talking about those interested in a casual encounter. I've gotten all kinds of messages from men and women and I tend to make it clear I am not looking for casual encounters / meet ups / sessions / etc. I don't want to waste anyone's time, just like I don't want to waste mine. Nothing against people who want to look for that at all.

It's when I make my interests clear and someone continues to chat / befriend me and then after a few conversations, or even many conversations, they push the idea of meeting again, despite knowing I'm not into that. Or, if they know I'm going to be attending a gathering in the future that they may be interested in, they try to push for play at the event - again - despite me clearly stating I'm not in to that from the get go.

Sorry if I gave the wrong impression.

MrMacphisto · Feb 28, 2015

chicago said:
Again, I didn't mean to imply that men are the only offenders or that females are the only people who have this issue. And it's not really a pm thing I'm talking about. Nor am I talking about those interested in a casual encounter. I've gotten all kinds of messages from men and women and I tend to make it clear I am not looking for casual encounters / meet ups / sessions / etc. I don't want to waste anyone's time, just like I don't want to waste mine. Nothing against people who want to look for that at all.

It's when I make my interests clear and someone continues to chat / befriend me and then after a few conversations, or even many conversations, they push the idea of meeting again, despite knowing I'm not into that. Or, if they know I'm going to be attending a gathering in the future that they may be interested in, they try to push for play at the event - again - despite me clearly stating I'm not in to that from the get go.

Sorry if I gave the wrong impression.

This is just a side note, but one thing that might help narrow down the friends vs. hookup guys is focusing your responses on people that don't live anywhere near you.

My guess is that you probably get a lot of PMs in general, so if you filter out the locals and nearby states, then the odds of the guy trying to hook up are lower.

Some guy in Maine probably isn't betting on flying out to Arizona to meet up. Sure, some guys have the resources to do that (and perhaps the obsessiveness), but it's less likely.

CallMeRed08 · Feb 28, 2015

TicklishBlackDragon said:
I think honestly for the ladies its a big issue because about 90% of the men who come in expect to chat about one type of fetish or kink, or maybe something your not interested in and continue to persist on it. The ladies have it rough, every guy wants to get his fingers on you, wants to see you, see your feet or some shit like that, and no respect for actual..idk...common decency to respect the ladies here on this form. There is nothing wrong with wanting to make friends, but treat the ladies like people, there not toys or objects of your own sick fantasies. Ladies are people, talk to them as such. I've met many friends on here, but not from a fetish conversation or even just a cybering session, but through treating them as people, who have daily lives and want to come in here, chill, and not worry bout what werido on the other side is trying to get his hands on you, or trying to convince you to cam so they can jack off to it. Yes you will meet people, yes you will make friends you are dying to get your hands on, but that's not all this site is about. People are people, lets stop being selfish and treat the ladies like people. Real talk yall.

speak for yourself buddy

Alliekat · Feb 28, 2015

Sometimes I feel that way, and sometimes people seem totally genuine. It just depends, but I always try to make my position here very clear. I am always up front about not ever wanting to meet up, RP or exchange pictures and if someone till wants to engage in conversation after that, more often than not they sam truly interested in getting to know me in a platonic way.

FootballGuy · Mar 2, 2015

Wow, I had no idea this many women were just not interested in meeting up ever, no matter what. Very informative but definitely information I could've used like 8-9 years ago when I was young, dumb, and naive enough to think I was going to meet my soul mate online LOL. (yeah yeah so I was a dreamer shoot me).

It's too bad there isn't a way to add an entry where people could make it CRYSTAL CLEAR what they are looking for on here (hookup/life long partner/friendship/etc). I know FetLife has that. Then if someone messages you and you only have "friendship" checked off, it could confirm that they still want to PM you since you only want friendship. Not sure if that would keep the creepy ones at bay but it can't hurt.

xionking · Mar 2, 2015

If youve made it clear that you aint looking to sesh up, and the guys keep bugging you, then sure, that is outta line.

xionking · Mar 2, 2015

Speaking for Australia, there just isnt a scene here...at all. For years its been under development, but not enough people come out of their shells. Those that do, generally speaking are m/m...and thats not for me. The Australia Personals section is full of m/m. Its dick central and I cant change the channel.

Theres no NEST here, no meet ups beyond what fetlife offees...but even there, the best we've got is "tickling feet in Australia". I mean, cmon...really? Is that all we got?

Im a firm believer in leaving people the hell alone who dont want to be bothered with offers of sessions. But Im also a firm believer in getting on with it.

We all love tickling. Staying behind a computer screen is not going to get you that tickling sesh you fantasise about. Engaging and meeting others will.

Ffs Australia, get your shit together.

MrMacphisto · Mar 2, 2015

xionking said:
Speaking for Australia, there just isnt a scene here...at all. For years its been under development, but not enough people come out of their shells. Those that do, generally speaking are m/m...and thats not for me. The Australia Personals section is full of m/m. Its dick central and I cant change the channel.

Theres no NEST here, no meet ups beyond what fetlife offees...but even there, the best we've got is "tickling feet in Australia". I mean, cmon...really? Is that all we got?

Im a firm believer in leaving people the hell alone who dont want to be bothered with offers of sessions. But Im also a firm believer in getting on with it.

We all love tickling. Staying behind a computer screen is not going to get you that tickling sesh you fantasise about. Engaging and meeting others will.

Ffs Australia, get your shit together.

That's surprising to me, considering the fact that there was some study about 10 years ago that said something to the effect of Australian women being the most "forward", so to speak.

I've never been to Australia, but I've always gotten the impression that it was far less sexually repressed than America. Their media definitely seems more relaxed about sex.

Maybe it's just a case of Australians actually doing more IRL than online. I'm sure the distribution of extroverts and introverts there probably isn't that different from here, but Australia just seems like a more outgoing and friendly culture.

Have your experiences contradicted that?

Deadly Ticklish · Mar 2, 2015

So I'm not a woman, but I will say that I've had this happen to me at times as well, and I have to say that sometimes even after expressing that I'm not interested, the person may still talk to me and be interested in getting to know me. I've had some good not-tickling related conversations with people who initially talk to me about tickling. Now this isn't always the case but I typically don't make the effort to keep talking to them unless they show additional interest in talking, so maybe the other person wants to talk but feel as if it'd be awkward. I've also developed good friendships with people I have RP'd with. I've also personally asked people if they are interested in role playing but it's courteous to at least give a proper greeting first. I like to keep in mind that this a tickling website and not a simple social media site, so people are very likely to be interested in tickling beyond making friends and talking. Same with any tickle gatherings. It's what separates it from a normal party or get together.

Morning Lorie · Mar 2, 2015

There's a serious issue with the guys on the TMF. Lots of them have no manners. They're aggressive and overbearing. This thread is a perfect example. Chicago asked the women a question. Who are most of the replies from? Not women. Girls can't even have one conversation without guys horning in. One guy even showed up with no pants on! wtf does he really think we're just going to fall all over him??

xionking · Mar 2, 2015

Morning Lorie said:
There's a serious issue with the guys on the TMF. Lots of them have no manners. They're aggressive and overbearing. This thread is a perfect example. Chicago asked the women a question. Who are most of the replies from? Not women. Girls can't even have one conversation without guys horning in. One guy even showed up with no pants on! wtf does he really think we're just going to fall all over him??

Whoa gender mutual much?

It's an outrage that guys should have any opinion at all. Especially with no pants on!

FootballGuy · Mar 2, 2015

Morning Lorie said:
There's a serious issue with the guys on the TMF. Lots of them have no manners. They're aggressive and overbearing. This thread is a perfect example. Chicago asked the women a question. Who are most of the replies from? Not women. Girls can't even have one conversation without guys horning in.

Besides you, I just see adults weighing in on Chicago's very valid point. Also, "Any insight at all from ladies here would be awesome" doesn't mean "No boys allowed".

Morning Lorie said:
One guy even showed up with no pants on! wtf does he really think we're just going to fall all over him??

Well I guess someone's never seen How I Met Your Mother.

On a more serious note, I realize I am the 1st person on this forum or the internet to have a pic of themselves without pants so please accept my most sincere apologies.

magic fingers · Mar 2, 2015

Morning Lorie said:
There's a serious issue with the guys on the TMF. Lots of them have no manners. Thephotoy're aggressive and overbearing. This thread is a perfect example. Chicago asked the women a question. Who are most of the replies from? Not women. Girls can't even have one conversation without guys horning in. One guy even showed up with no pants on! wtf does he really think we're just going to fall all over him??

I assume you're referring to FootballGuy. That's simply his signature, it's included in all his posts, regardless of the thread or subject matter.

chicago · Mar 2, 2015

Haha, i expected a few men to chime in but not this many. Its all good though.

I am not against meeting people from here in real life at all. Thats how i met some of best friends and my boyfriend and i go to one or two gatherings a year. Im just not interested in play or one on one meetups at this point in time. I figure there are probably others in the same boat here as well.

Deadly Ticklish · Mar 3, 2015

chicago said:
Haha, i expected a few men to chime in but not this many. Its all good though.

I am not against meeting people from here in real life at all. Thats how i met some of best friends and my boyfriend and i go to one or two gatherings a year. Im just not interested in play or one on one meetups at this point in time. I figure there are probably others in the same boat here as well.

I think people should definetly respect other's personal boundaries, and be prepared for declined invitation, but I also think that invitations to play or have one on one meet ups is to be expected as long as it's done in a respectful manner. Everyone has a different pull towards this website and while some may have came here to chat and meet friends, others may be looking for more out of the site. Either way I think it's fine for both sides to engage on the forum and neither should be criticized for their activity here, as long as they aren't imposing upon others. I also think it shows a bit of courage to approach someone with a proposal knowing that they may decline, and you typically don't get what you want if you don't ask or take initiative. Some may go to a bar to have a drink, some are there to socialize, and some go to meet potential partners, all of which should be expected at the bar, and none of which are inherently wrong.

ticklesndimes · Mar 12, 2015

Theres like a couple people on here I trust, the rest either lost it or haven't gotten because someone prior ruined it. I'm cool with hanging out but I'm very picky about who I'd consider playing with, and if I don't feel it, I'm not tickle chatting or RPing with the person. I don't get shocked by tickle talk what bothers me though is that I find myself getting too close and caring a bit too much about certain people after they kind of gain my trust. Sometimes I feel like they only want to talk for that purpose(which I have people for that but the line between that and friendship doesn't mix). After having people just bounce regardless of everything I thought we built (I usually never talk to them again because fuck them)I just kind of learned the hard way not to get too close(even though I can't always help it) which I do in real life so I don't know why I thought a forum would be different lol. It only takes a a few people to ruin it. It just baffled me when I thought someone could be a friend(or call it that) and yet they lie to me about simple things like there freaking name,or even what they like such as hobbies, even after how long we'd talk. People forget that they're dealing with real people(usually), but I can be just as heartless, I just have to remind myself that I'm not an asshole, and that I'm not shady. If they sound like shady, I don't even move forward anymore.

AlphaMaletklr · Mar 12, 2015

Truth is that men can be dumb on here, the overall frustration being voiced are reflected on some key social structural issues both the website, men, and women as follows

1) Fakes need to go/ Mods figure it out. This site prints money off of ads.. its not rocket science on how to KYC (know your customer)

2) Women I understand your plight, really I do, however with the pics and even posts.. it attracts the so called unwanted attention

3) Men stop hammering these women, (myself included) of course all of this could be alleviated with said suggestion #1

Overall the issue comes down to both parties wanting their cake and eating it too. Men's debauchery is visible, obvious and easy to point out because it is expressed OVERTLY. Our need to have sex is 100 times more than women's due to a chemical known as testosterone. Women are fully aware of this fact.They allege that they are soooo distrustful of the attention that is a byproduct of their covert communication mostly through photos and posts. The long standing memberships here from many women on here seem to indicate no interest in not participating in this attention whoring fest, hmm I wonder why? The vast majority of the women on here would be a 6 out of 10 at best in real life. and men you fucking know it. However they secretly enjoy the benefit of being 9's and 10's. This is perpetuated by the fact that their tickle fetish exponentially increases their sexual market value in which the vast majority do not possess in real life. Truth is men of quality on here, i.e make money, good looking have their life in order are sick to death of this whining. Deal with it and shut the fuck up. One last real gem thing..MEN don't want "friends" that are women on here especially, if they do, they are pretending 99.9% of the time. Although im sure Im not telling you something you don't already know.

chicago · Mar 12, 2015

Use your discretion when it comes to fakes. Its 2015, if someone cant share a pic with their sn - even with the face blurred, then its on you if you wanna risk continuing to talk to someone.

Also, this isnt a men/womrn thing. I get females messaging me too and acting psycho saying they want to be friends and then flip the script later. On the other hand, using testosterone as an excuse to act like a cretin is retarded. Youre most likely not getting sex from this site so it doesnt matter if you "think" you need it 100x more often lol

But, really people, read through this thread and really comprehend my posts before you start typing cuz we are all just repeating ourselves now.

Ladies, do you ever feel...

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