"The Office: Women in the Workplace"
Starring: Jenna Fischer, Angela Kinsey, Ellie Kemper, and Catherine Tate
[NARRATION AS EMPLOYEES WALK INTO THE OFFICE -- MICHAEL SCOTT]
"Today is 'Women in the Workplace Day' here at Dunder Mifflin. Jan called me a couple weeks ago and told me that she would be coming down to the Scranton branch to give a presentation on women's issues in the workplace. Things like stereotypes...sexual harassment...the glass ceiling. I asked myself, 'Is there a glass ceiling for men?' Because if there is, it must not be very hard to break through it because I'm a manager now. Which makes sense because it's only glass and glass is known to be very breakable. I don't see what the big deal is..."
[MICHAEL SCOTT LEADING THE CAMERA CREW INTO THE CONFERENCE ROOM]
"I've got the blinds closed. Don't want anyone to see this yet. I'm actually pretty excited for Jan to come down and see what I've got planned. I know she said she didn't want me to talk at the meeting but I think this is really going to impress her." Michael shows the camera crew four sets of wooden stocks lined up against the wall in the conference room. "Ta-da! They're stocks! The same kind that English lords used to put car thieves in back in medieval times." Michael was beaming with joy looking at the setup. "About fifteen minutes after I got off the phone with Jan, this idea hit me and I thought I would surprise Jan with it! I ordered the stocks and had them shipped here to the office. They arrived yesterday and I had the warehouse guys put them together. Those guys are good at that stuff. Hundreds of pieces that needed to be drilled and hammered together while looking at blueprints, you know."
[CUT TO DARRYL PHILBIN SOLO INTERVIEW]
"Michael came down to us yesterday afternoon. He said, 'Guys, I need a huge favor.' He said he needed us to assemble some things he ordered. Then he handed us each $200 and said he didn't care if it took all night. That we could take the next day off to recover if we needed to...it took us eighteen minutes. All we had to do was drill the bases together and attach the tops of the stocks. But hey, I've got an extra day off now."
[BACK TO MICHAEL SCOTT ADDRESSING THE OFFICE]
"Okay everyone, Jan just pulled up. Everybody make your way into the conference room for the 'Women in the Workplace' seminar." Jan walked into the office and followed the Dunder Mifflin employees as they shuffled in and gathered around the stocks. They all looked bewildered; all the chairs in the conference room had been removed and now there were only four stocks lined up against the wall.
Jan asked with a confused look on her face, "Michael, what is this? I told you I just wanted you to plan a meeting for today so that I could address your employees about female issues on the job. And I see now that you have...wooden stocks set up in your conference room? What is this about?" Michael jumped into action. "This, Jan...is my surprise seminar on 'Women in the Workplace'! Let me ask you ladies something. When you think of the toughest group of people, who comes to mind? I'll tell you...medieval knights." Dwight scoffed and argued, "False. Navy SEALS. And then Samurai."
"What, Dwight? No. Just don't contribute, okay. Medieval knights were some of the toughest, hardest working people in history. And they were often imprisoned in stocks while their coworkers threw cabbage and old tomatoes at them. Ladies...Joan of Arc was a knight. You should be proud of that fact. She endured a lot of those female stereotypes and broke through that glass ceiling...with a crossbow. Today, ladies, I've planned for a number of you to take a turn in these stocks. We won't throw old food at you; you just have to sit in them."
The female employees looked around with hesitant and confused faces. Jan said, "Michael, are you out of your mind? What does having them sit in the stocks have to do with the topic at hand?" Michael said in his most flattering tone, "Because, Jan, when I think of a confident, hard-working woman in the workplace, I think of you. I think if there was anybody that could withstand the stocks and that could be a role model for the women here at the Scranton branch...it's you, Jan." Jan blushed at the compliment but still looked at him with a skeptical look. "Jan, just trust me on this. Okay, let's have...Pam, Angela, Erin, and Nellie come sit down in the stocks." Nobody moved forward. "Michael, do we have to do this? This seems very...odd," Pam noted. Angela said in a bitchy tone, "I'm not getting in that contraption. There's no way." Michael was clearly flustered by their uncooperativeness and appealed to Jan for help. "Um...well...ladies, maybe you should go along with this. I'm sure there's a point to all this...somehow."
The women looked around at each other and then awkwardly stepped forward and sat down. Michael had them place their ankles up on the padded slots while he came around and locked down the tops of the stocks. Michael then had Dwight go down the line and fasten their wrists down to the sides of their seats while he continued to address the group. "Women are looked down on in the workplace as being weak and fragile and easily upset. I think the women here at Dunder Mifflin can break those stereotypes and smash through that glass ceiling. To prove my point, these women have been locked in. In a moment, some of you will tickle them and we'll see if they can resist it enough not to let it bother them.
"Hey, what's all this business about tickling? Uh-uh, I would like to get out now!" protested Nellie.
"Oh gosh, this is like the hundredth time someone has tricked me into getting tickled..." Erin said with an airhead tone.
"This is unacceptable! I demand to be let go right now!" Angela yelled as she fought against her restraints.
"Michael, you can't do this! You have to let us go! You can't just tickle us!" Pam argued.
Pam, Angela, Erin, and Nellie all panicked when their boss mentioned that they would be tickled. They protested and tried to appeal to Jan but Michael continued talking over them. "Now ladies, this is harmless. I want you to show the group, especially the other women here, that you can overcome this obstacle and remain focused...like I believe Jan could." Jan was about to shut down Michael's ridiculous seminar but was taken aback by all the positive attention he was giving her. She let it slide for now. The four captives tried pleading to Toby, the human resources contact, but he couldn't help them. Toby explained, "I'm sorry, ladies. As long as you aren't being harmed and the interaction isn't one of a sexual nature, I can't do anything to stop it."
Michael enthusiastically picked the ticklers for each woman. "Okay for Pam, let's have Jim!" Jim raised his eyebrows and coolly said, "No, Michael, I don't think so. I'm not going to do that to Pam." Jim left the room, raising his eyebrows at the camera as he left the conference room. Without missing a beat, Michael called on Roy to be Pam's tickler. "Uh-oh, Pam. You're ex-fiancé is going to get you now." Pam's stomach tightened at the thought of Roy tickling her. They had dated and been engaged for years. He knew all of her most ticklish spots. Roy knelt down in front of Pam. She was wearing a light button-up shirt, a pink cover-up sweater that hung open in the front, a black skirt, tan nylons, and her usual white Keds.
[CUT TO PAM BEESLY SOLO INTERVIEW]
"Roy and I used to be engaged...for several years. But now that's over and we're just friends." Pam raised her eyebrows to the camera and let an awkward pause go by before she added, "Um...yes, Roy has tickled me before. He knows I hate it. He thinks it's hilarious that it drives me crazy. I'm really kind of afraid of what's going to happen because Roy is pretty mean when he tickles. He would never listen to me when I told him to stop. He just keeps tickling you like it's the funniest thing ever. I wish Jim was going to be the one tickling me. I still don't like it but it's at least kind of fun when he does it."
[BACK TO THE CONFERENCE ROOM]
"For Angela..." Michael scanned the group, "Dwight, come up here." Unbeknownst to the other employees, Dwight and Angela had been engaging in a secret office relationship. Dwight hated the idea of letting his boss and role model down so he obediently stepped forward and kneeled in front of Angela. She was wearing a light yellow turtleneck, a black skirt, white nylons, and black flats.
[CUT TO ANGELA MARTIN SOLO INTERVIEW]
"I despise being tickled. I hate whenever someone else is in control. Am I ticklish?...Yes, which makes it worse. But I haven't been tickled in years."
[BACK TO THE CONFERENCE ROOM]
"And for Miss Erin...how about Gabe?" Michael had no idea that Erin and Gabe had broken up recently. Gabe's face lit up when his name was called. He eagerly knelt down in front of Erin, who was normally energetic and happy but now was clearly worried about what would happen when her ex got his hands on her. Erin was wearing a light purple short-sleeve shirt, a black skirt, and black heels.
[CUT TO ERIN HANNON SOLO INTERVIEW]
"Oh yes, I am extremely ticklish! It's actually kind of fun being tickled but at the same time it's not. And I really don't want to be tickled by Gabe. Our breakup was rough for him and it's really awkward around him now. Plus, I told him that I'm really ticklish on the bottoms of my feet!" Erin commented with a naive smile on her face that slowly faded into a worried frown. "Uh-oh..."
[BACK TO THE CONFERENCE ROOM]
"And last we have Nellie. Let's see...how about you, Jan?" Jan was shocked. "Me, Michael?" She asked. "Yeah, why don't you get in there? You're their role model after all." Jan insisted that someone else be the last tickler but Michael wouldn't take no for an answer. "No, come on. Get over there. Do it, Jan. Be a team player." Jan reluctantly agreed and sat down in front of Nellie. Nellie had on a dark blue V-neck shirt, black dress pants, and black heels.
[CUT TO NELLIE BERTRAM SOLO INTERVIEW]
"I don't think I'll have a problem with this. Sure, I'm ticklish but what woman isn't, you know? And with Jan watching my reactions so closely, this will be a perfect opportunity to show her I'm upper management material." Nellie said with a wink at the camera.
[BACK TO THE CONFERENCE ROOM]
Michael went and stood over by Jan. "Okay, Jan, why don't you start?" Jan wasn't quite sure how to proceed. She felt a roomful of eyes on her as she started slipping off Nellie's heels, revealing a pair of milky size 8 soles with dark red toenail polish on the toes. Nellie tried to play it cool but she couldn't help but feel incredibly vulnerable at the hands of the corporate higher up. Nellie's heels, the outer ridges of her feet, and the pads under her toes had a light pinkish hue compared to the rest of the pale white skin on her arches and toes. Her feet were substantial and quite shapely as well. Her creamy, white toes were long and full. Nellie half-seriously said to Jan, "Oh God, Jan, do go easy on me, huh? I wasn't really prepared for this when I walked in today, you know?" Jan thought Nellie's English accent was cute but ignored her requests as she started lightly scratching her nails along the bottoms of the redhead's feet. "I'm sorry, Nellie, but Michael insists that I go through with this." Nellie tried to hold her composure but was twisting in her seat considerably. "Hehe! Jan, hold on...aaahhh...wait a second...hehe...this is quite silly, now hold on a second...Jan, ease up a bit...aaarrrgghhh...please, hold on a second, really...haha!"
"Oh it looks like Nellie's trying to hold out against Jan. Very good, Nellie! Alright, go ahead, Gabe," said Michael. Gabe looked back at Erin, who's cheery mood had been dampened when she saw her normally tough coworker starting to writhe around and crack up a little. Gabe started taking off his ex-girlfriend's high heels. Erin's narrow size 9 soles were bare for everyone to see now. She had rounded heels, shallow arches, and cute toes that tapered down evenly from her big toes. The redhead had pale feet and only a clear coat of polish on her toenails. "Oh, I forgot how big your feet were." Erin flushed red with embarrassment and crossed one foot in front of the other, trying to hide them from her coworkers. Gabe started dancing his fingers along Erin's soles, making her break into fits of giggles. "Hehehehe! Gabe, that tickles! Hehehehehee! Oh jeez! This is going to be so much harder than I thought! Hahahahaa! Gabe, don't! Hehehehehee!"
"Alright, next we have Angela! Dwight, go ahead," instructed Michael. Dwight turned to look at Angela, who was glaring back at him. "Dwight, if I had known this is what Michael had planned, I would never have sat down. Don't even think about tickling me!" Dwight's loyalty was torn. Did he help his secret significant other or obey his best friend and boss? "Dwight, go ahead. Take off Angela's shoes and start tickling her. That is a direct order to the Assistant to the Regional Manager." Dwight weighed his dilemma and then told Angela, "Sorry baby, er...Angela. Michael says I have to tickle your feet now." With that, Dwight relieved Angela of her black flats. Angela waved her dainty size 5 feet around, still in her white nylons. Dwight started to slowly tickle Angela's frantic soles, making her jump and shriek with laughter. "Aaahahaha! Dwight! Don't you dare tickle me! Eeek! Hehehehehe! Dwight, stop that right now!"
Pam was panicking as she watched her three coworkers start to break down into serious laughter as their feet were tickled in front of the whole office. Then she heard the words she feared. "Okay, Roy, go ahead and tickle Pam!" Roy didn't waste any time unlacing Pam's Keds and tugging them off, revealing the secretary's size 8 soles still with her tan nylons on. He could see she had on light pink toenail polish through her thin nylons. "Roy, wait! Please! Be nice about this! Wait! Wait! Don't take off my shoes, Roy! I don't want you to do this! Please! You know I hate being tickled! Roy, please wait! Wait! Wait! Nohahahahahahaaa!" Roy started darting his hands around Pam's slick nylon-covered feet. "Oh, I remember this haha! I know you hate being tickled, baby! Haha! Wow, you're still really ticklish, aren't you?!"
Michael and the other coworkers watched intently as the women were laughing and thrashing around in their seats. Some of the group started to smile and others even shouted encouragements to the ticklers. A contagious good feeling was overtaking the staff as they watched the show.
[CUT TO OSCAR MARTINEZ SOLO INTERVIEW]
"I've got to admit. It was kind of fun watching Angela get tickled. I don't think I've ever heard her laugh aside from watching cat videos on her computer. She's normally very uptight and grouchy so it was enjoyable to see her in that situation. I had no idea her feet were so ticklish!"
[CUT TO MEREDITH PALMER SOLO INTERVIEW]
"I wouldn't want to be in their situation. They were all laughing so hard they could barely talk. It was fun to watch but those girls were totally wrecked by the end of it."
[BACK TO THE CONFERENCE ROOM]
Gabe was wiggling his fingers up and down Erin's soles, making sure to get the base of her toes well. Every time he attacked her there, she would scrunch her toes down hard and break into hysterical laughter. "HAHAHAHAAAA!!! GABE!!! HAHAHAHAAA!!! NOT THERE!!! HAHAHAAHA!!! GET YOUR FINGERS OUT OF THERE!!! HAHAHAAHAA!!!" Gabe pulled his fingers free from Erin's clenched toes and started caressing her heels and running his fingers along the outer ridges of her feet. Erin wiggled her long, narrow soles wildly but couldn't escape Gabe's menacing touches. The poor receptionist was starting to get red in the cheeks from laughing so hard. Erin's eyes were clenched shut and her adorable laughter poured out as her ex-boyfriend took advantage of her captive tootsies.
"Erin, I have to know...do you miss me?" Gabe asked in a pathetic tone. Erin was struggling to get enough air at that moment so she desperately shouted out whatever she thought would appease Gabe. "HAHAAHAAHAHAAA!!! YES!!! HAHAHAAAAA!!! I MISS YOU!!! I MISS YOU!!! HAHAHAAAHAHAHAAA!!!" Gabe felt his heart warm. Maybe tickling her was helping to bring out her true feelings? He scurried his fingers back to the base of her toes, sending Erin into more unbridled laughter. "AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAA!!! OH JEEZ!!! HAHAHAHAAA!!! GABE, STOP THAT!!! HAHAHAHAHAA!! OH MY GOODNESS!!! HAHAHAHAAAHAHAAA!!! NOT THERE AGAIN!!! PLEASE!!! HAHAHAHAHAAA!!!" Gabe was enjoying the reactions and the interaction he was having with his ex after such a long, awkward period of avoiding each other at the office. "Erin, do you think we could go on a date soon?" "HAHAHAHAHAAA!!! OH MY GOODNESS!!! HAHAHAHAHAAA!!! YES, WE CAN DATE AGAIN!!! I'LL DO ANYTHING YOU WANT IF YOU STOP TICKLING THE BASE OF MY TOES!!! AAAAAAHHAHAAHAHAHAAA!!! OH MY GOODNESS!!!" Gabe pulled his fingers free again from Erin's scrunched toes. He held her left foot still and started playing with her toes. Gabe teasingly massaged each one between his index finger and thumb, starting with her pinky toe. Erin had tears starting to roll down her cheeks as she begged him, "HAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!! NOT THE TOES!!! HAHAHHAAAA!!! GABE, STOP PLAYING WITH MY TOES, PLEASE!!! HAHAHAHAHAAA!!! IT'S TOO MUCH!!! OH JEEZ!!! HAHAHAAHAHAAA!!! OH MY GOODNESS!!!"
Angela was catching her breath as Dwight let her have a small break. "Dwight...I've never...been tickled...like that...in my life. You will get me out...of this right now!" Dwight looked over at Michael, who gave him a stern look and nodded at Angela. Dwight knew he had no choice. He grabbed hold of Angela's nylons on her right foot and pulled them until they started to tear. The hole was big enough for her big toe and second toe to pop through. "Dwight! What are you doing! These are my good nylons!" Dwight finished pulling apart the nylons until they were torn and pushed back up on Angela's ankle. Then he did the same to her other foot. Now Angela's pale, dainty bare feet were sticking out at him. She had small flat heels, wrinkly arches, and well developed toes in perfect proportion to her foot. They weren't short or stubby even given her small shoe size. And she had dark purple toenail polish on. "Oh no, not again!"
Angela burst back into hysterics when Dwight returned to her now bare soles. He scurried his fingers quickly along her arches, forcing the petite blonde to throw her head backward and release a gale of laughter. "AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! DWIGHT!!! DWIGHT, STOP IT!!! HAHAHAHAHAAA!!! NOT MY FEET, PLEASE!!! HAHAHAHAAAA!!! SOMEBODY STOP THIS!!! HAHAHAAAAA!!! PAM, HELP ME!!! EEEK!!! HAHAHAAHAAAA!!!" He kept stroking her wrinkly arches. "Angela, this brings me no pleasure to do this to you, for the record. Also, the point of this exercise is to reinforce mental fortitude, not laugh your ass off. Just try not laughing." Angela's face was twisted as she laughed uncontrollably and wiggled her body and feet around as much as her restraints would allow her. "HAHAHAHAAAA!!! I CAN'T HELP IT, YOU IDIOT!!! HAHAHAHAAAA!!! DWIGHT, I SWEAR THAT YOU'RE GOING TO GET IT WHEN I GET OUT OF THIS!!! HAHAAAAHAHAHAAAAA!!! LEAVE MY FEET ALONE!!! PLEASE!!! HAHAHAAHAAAA!!! I'M BEGGING YOU!!!"
[CUT TO DWIGHT SCHRUTE SOLO INTERVIEW]
"Am I upset I had to tickle Angela? No. I could never betray Michael's orders. If she didn't want to be tickled, she should have not allowed herself to be ticklish. Mind over matter. Simple as that."
[BACK TO THE CONFERENCE ROOM]
Jan was starting to enjoy the control she had over Nellie's reactions and she wasn't bashful about showing it. Nellie's tough demeanor had started to wane as she began breaking down. "Hahahaha! Jan! Stop it, please! Hahahahaa! Now that's enough! Hahahahaha!" Jan flicked her long fingernails along Nellie's milky white arches and below her toes. "Uh-oh, is the little office worker ticklish on her feet?" Nellie just nodded her head up and down as she failed to hold in a wave of laughter. Jan took her fingers and started wildly scrubbing them back and forth across Nellie's soles, which caused the vibrant redhead to shriek with giggles and laughter. "HAHAHAAAA!!! EEEHHHH!!! HAHAHAHAHEEHEEHEE!!! JAN!!! STOP IT, I'M SERIOUS!!! HAHAHAHAAAAA!!! SLOW DOWN!!! THIS AIN'T FAIR, YOU KNOW!!! HAHAHAHAAAA!!! OH PLEASE, JUST SLOW DOWN WHAT YOU'RE DOING TO MY FEET!!! HAHAHAAHAHAHAAA!!!"
Jan went to town on Nellie's feet. She scratched under her toes, along her arches, and focused under the balls of her feet. Nellie pulled hard at her wrist restraints but couldn't free herself as she flung herself wildly from side to side. Her red hair whipped behind her as she screamed at Jan to stop tormenting her. "Aw, you don't like the feeling of my fingernails on your feetsies, do you? Tickle, tickle, tickle..." Nellie shouted and bucked in her seat. "HAHAHAAAA!!! JAN, QUIT IT!!! HAHAHAHAAAAA!!! COME OFF IT, JAN!!! JUST A QUICK BREAK?!?! HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAA!!! FUCK ME, YOUR FINGERNAILS ARE EXCRUTIATING!!! HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAA!!!"
Roy was thoroughly enjoying making Pam melt into sheer hysterics as he mercilessly held her feet together in the crook of his arm and wildly tickled the bottoms of her nylon-covered soles with his other hand. Pam let out a string of her sweet laughter, which only encouraged Roy to keep tickling her. "That's it, baby, laugh for me haha! It's not the first time I've tickled you in your work nylons, is it haha!" Pam absolutely hated the feeling. She begged her ex-fiancé, "HAHAHAHAAHAAA!!! ROY, STOP IT!!! HAHAHAAHAAAA!!! PLEASE, JUST STOP FOR A MINUTE!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!" "You love it, don't you, baby?" Pam's eyes were starting to tear up from laughing so hard. "ROY, PLEASE!!! HAHAHAHAHAAAA!!! I CAN'T STAND IT!!! HAHAHAAHAA!!! NO MORE!!! THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING!!!"
Roy suddenly ripped Pam's nylons open crudely and pushed them up to her ankles. "Oh God, no more...please, Roy! You know how ticklish my feet are." "Oh yeah, I do haha!" Roy jumped back into tickling Pam, quickly wiggling his fingers around on her super soft foot bottoms. She had naturally soft soles that rarely needed pedicures. Her smooth, flat heels, wrinkly arches, and creamy, short toes looked absolutely adorable. Roy showed them no mercy. "Tell me you missed this, babe!" "HAHAHAHAAAAHAHAHAAA!!! I DON'T! I HATE IT! HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAHAHAAA!!! OH MY GOD, IT'S WORSE BAREFOOT!!! HAHAHAHAAHAHAAA!!!" "Haha, you aren't seeing anyone else are you, babe?!" Pam didn't want to come out about Jim to everyone at that point so she lied, "HAHAHAAHAAA!!! NO!!! I'M NOT!!! I SWEAR!!! HAHAHAHAAHA!!!!" "Say I'm the best you've ever had!" "HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAA!!! YOU'RE THE BEST HAHAHAHAHAAA!!! I'VE EVER HAD!!! HAHAHAHAAHA!!! ROY, STOP IT!!! NOT MY FEET!!! NOT MY FEET!!! OH GOD, ROY, YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE ME PEE MYSELF!!! HAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!"
[CUT TO KELLY KAPOOR SOLO INTERVIEW]
"Oh my God! Like Pam was super ticklish on her feet and Roy was like totally tickling her really bad and like you could tell Pam was on the verge of going crazy because it tickled so much. I mean I get that like Roy was her fiancé but still, you like can't tickle somebody that badly even if you used to date. Pam like totally almost peed all over herself and Roy didn't care at all. Like he thought it was funny."
[BACK TO THE CONFERENCE ROOM]
Michael and the rest of the Dunder Mifflin employees were now a captive audience as they watched their four female coworkers completely break down. Their loud laughter echoed out into the office from the conference room.
Jan's repetitive and unrelenting strokes on Nellie's arches were too much for the tough redhead. She fought to form words but Jan had no intention of stopping now anyway. She kept scratching her long fingernails across the pale arches over and over again. A wicked smile was now fixed on Jan's face as she watched her own handiwork take effect. Nellie was by far the loudest in the group. Her shouting, begging, and hysterical laughter boomed above the rest even. "HAHAHAHAAAA!!! COME OFF IT, JAN!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!! THIS IS TOO MUCH!!! HAHAHAAAHAHAHAAAA!!! GET AWAY FROM MY FEET!!! HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAAA!!! GOD, YOU'RE BLOODY FINGERNAILS ARE PURE TORTURE!!! AAAAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAAAAA!!! PLEASE, NO MORE!!! HAHAHAHAAHAAHAAA!!!" Jan just looked over at Nellie and smiled as she kept tickling her feet with her nails. "Tickle, tickle, tickle..."
Gabe had Erin totally exhausted after she tried to fend off multiple tickle attacks to her most ticklish areas. Now, she could only weakly wiggle her feet around away from Gabe's tormenting fingers. Erin completely lost it when Gabe held her toes back and scratched his fingertips lightly back and forth at the base of her toes. She bucked so hard in her seat that she routinely was able to jump up off it for a split second. She fell into silent laughter, no longer having the energy to put up a decent fight against the tickling assault. "HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!! GABE, NO!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!...(silent laughter)...AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! OH MY GOODNESS!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!! NOT RIGHT THERE!!! HAHAHHAAHAAAHAHAA!!! NO MORE!!! NO MORE!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!! OH GEEZ, PLEASE QUIT IT!!! HAHAHAAHAHAHAAAA!!!" Gabe was absolutely enjoying having his ex at his mercy.
Dwight was now focusing on Angela's perfect toes. The poor, little accountant was doing everything she could from breaking down and crying in front of everyone. Dwight was running his fingers between her wiggling toes, taking Angela to a new level of agony. "HAHAHAAAAHHAHAHAAA!!! OH DWIGHT, STOP IT!!! PLEASE!!! HAHAHAAAHAHAHAAA!!! IT'S TOO MUCH!!! I CAN'T TAKE IT!!! HAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA!!! LET ME GO!!! PLEASE!!! HAHAHAAHAAA!!! NOT BETWEEN MY TOES!!! THAT FEELS AWFUL!!! AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!" Dwight seemed to be studying Angela's reactions. "You're feet are so tiny. What are they, a size five? Jesus. Well, I've got to hand it to you though; I have yet to find a defect with them. They appear to be perfectly proportioned. The only obvious flaw is their sensitivity...one of the many weaknesses of your gender." "HAHAHAHAAAA!!! OH SHUT UP, DWIGHT!!! HAAHAHAHAHAAA!!! AND LET ME GO!!! NOW!!! HAHAHAAHAAAAHHAAA!!!"
Pam had tears rolling down her cheeks as she melted into sheer hysterics. Roy knew every little ticklish spot on her soles and there was no escaping his relentless wiggling fingers as they exploited them all to the fullest. It was the little areas that nobody really knew about that drove Pam nuts when Roy would focus on them. Spots like the outer edge of her heels near her ankles or a firm stroke across the balls of her feet or the spot just under her pinky toes or the extra-soft skin on the inner side of her big toes. That spot took her into the stratosphere of laughter. "HAHAHAHAHAAAAHAHAAAA!!! ROY!!! NOT THERE!!! OH MY GOD, NOT THERE!!! PLEASE!!! BAAAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAA!!! GET AWAY FROM MY BIG TOES!!! HAHAAHAHAHAHAAA!!! YOU'RE SO MEAN!!! STOP IT!!! HAHAHAAHAHAHAAA!!! I CAN'T TAKE IT!!! NO MORE!!! HAHAHAAHAHAAHAAA!!! NOT MY BIG TOES, PLEASE!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!"
[NARRATION AS EMPLOYEES ARE LET OUT OF THE STOCKS -- MICHAEL SCOTT]
(Nellie stands up and comes face to face with Jan. Jan smiles at Nellie as she bashfully grabs her heels and walks out.)
"I think that went great! I felt like everyone had a great time."
(Erin awkwardly avoids Gabe as he tries to talk to her afterward. She picks up her heels and walks back to the receptionist desk barefoot and serious.)
"I was hoping that the women could have held out a little better. They all kind of lost it there at the end but oh well. Still a good time, right?"
(Angela is released and glares at Dwight with a seething expression. She clumsily puts her flats back on and storms out of the conference room, leaving Dwight looking guilty and ashamed.)
"The important thing to remember is...women aren't just weak coworkers without penises...they can be tough. They can be strong. They can do my job if they wanted. Not for as much pay of course." Michael laughs at his own joke and then says, "I'm kidding. Kidding. Jan makes like twice as much as me..." He says as his smile fades and he looks away from the camera.
(Pam gets up looking upset and defeated as Roy beams a smile at her. She awkwardly picks up her shoes and walks out of the conference room barefoot. She sits down on Jim's desk. No dialogue is heard but Pam is smiling as Jim starts massaging her feet while listening to her.)
[CUT TO JAN LEVINSON-GOULD SOLO INTERVIEW]
"I have no idea what that was supposed to accomplish but to be quite honest...it wasn't the worst seminar Michael has put on. Sometimes you have to pick your battles. And yes, it was...fun...participating in the seminar."
[CUT TO MICHAEL SCOTT SOLO INTERVIEW]
"I think Jan was impressed. I really do. Those stocks cost me quite a bit out of pocket...because corporate wouldn't reimburse me...but I think it was worth it in the end. I think everyone at this office learned a valuable lesson about a woman's worth in the workplace."
[CUT TO PAM BEESLY SOLO INTERVIEW]
(Pam is sitting in the conference room next to one of the stocks.)
"That was possibly the worst experience I've ever had while working here. I knew I had ticklish feet but I didn't think I could ever laugh that hard. Oh my gosh, that was awful. My feet are the worst. And like I said, Roy is a really mean tickler. He just doesn't stop. But it's over now. I get to go home." Pam looks to make sure most of the people in the office have filed out to their cars. "At least I get to meet up with Jim now. We have plans to go on a date!" Pam admits as her face lights up and she smiles from ear to ear.
One of the camera crew said, "You might have to push your date back a little tonight. You might not be out of here by five o'clock." Pam looked puzzled and asked, "What do you mean?" One of the guys in the camera crew pulls out a stiff, white feather and starts waving it back and forth at Pam. "Goochie, goochie, goo..." Pam's expression turns to one of dread as she says, "Oh no..."
[CUT TO ENDING CREDITS]
THE END
Starring: Jenna Fischer, Angela Kinsey, Ellie Kemper, and Catherine Tate
[NARRATION AS EMPLOYEES WALK INTO THE OFFICE -- MICHAEL SCOTT]
"Today is 'Women in the Workplace Day' here at Dunder Mifflin. Jan called me a couple weeks ago and told me that she would be coming down to the Scranton branch to give a presentation on women's issues in the workplace. Things like stereotypes...sexual harassment...the glass ceiling. I asked myself, 'Is there a glass ceiling for men?' Because if there is, it must not be very hard to break through it because I'm a manager now. Which makes sense because it's only glass and glass is known to be very breakable. I don't see what the big deal is..."
[MICHAEL SCOTT LEADING THE CAMERA CREW INTO THE CONFERENCE ROOM]
"I've got the blinds closed. Don't want anyone to see this yet. I'm actually pretty excited for Jan to come down and see what I've got planned. I know she said she didn't want me to talk at the meeting but I think this is really going to impress her." Michael shows the camera crew four sets of wooden stocks lined up against the wall in the conference room. "Ta-da! They're stocks! The same kind that English lords used to put car thieves in back in medieval times." Michael was beaming with joy looking at the setup. "About fifteen minutes after I got off the phone with Jan, this idea hit me and I thought I would surprise Jan with it! I ordered the stocks and had them shipped here to the office. They arrived yesterday and I had the warehouse guys put them together. Those guys are good at that stuff. Hundreds of pieces that needed to be drilled and hammered together while looking at blueprints, you know."
[CUT TO DARRYL PHILBIN SOLO INTERVIEW]
"Michael came down to us yesterday afternoon. He said, 'Guys, I need a huge favor.' He said he needed us to assemble some things he ordered. Then he handed us each $200 and said he didn't care if it took all night. That we could take the next day off to recover if we needed to...it took us eighteen minutes. All we had to do was drill the bases together and attach the tops of the stocks. But hey, I've got an extra day off now."
[BACK TO MICHAEL SCOTT ADDRESSING THE OFFICE]
"Okay everyone, Jan just pulled up. Everybody make your way into the conference room for the 'Women in the Workplace' seminar." Jan walked into the office and followed the Dunder Mifflin employees as they shuffled in and gathered around the stocks. They all looked bewildered; all the chairs in the conference room had been removed and now there were only four stocks lined up against the wall.
Jan asked with a confused look on her face, "Michael, what is this? I told you I just wanted you to plan a meeting for today so that I could address your employees about female issues on the job. And I see now that you have...wooden stocks set up in your conference room? What is this about?" Michael jumped into action. "This, Jan...is my surprise seminar on 'Women in the Workplace'! Let me ask you ladies something. When you think of the toughest group of people, who comes to mind? I'll tell you...medieval knights." Dwight scoffed and argued, "False. Navy SEALS. And then Samurai."
"What, Dwight? No. Just don't contribute, okay. Medieval knights were some of the toughest, hardest working people in history. And they were often imprisoned in stocks while their coworkers threw cabbage and old tomatoes at them. Ladies...Joan of Arc was a knight. You should be proud of that fact. She endured a lot of those female stereotypes and broke through that glass ceiling...with a crossbow. Today, ladies, I've planned for a number of you to take a turn in these stocks. We won't throw old food at you; you just have to sit in them."
The female employees looked around with hesitant and confused faces. Jan said, "Michael, are you out of your mind? What does having them sit in the stocks have to do with the topic at hand?" Michael said in his most flattering tone, "Because, Jan, when I think of a confident, hard-working woman in the workplace, I think of you. I think if there was anybody that could withstand the stocks and that could be a role model for the women here at the Scranton branch...it's you, Jan." Jan blushed at the compliment but still looked at him with a skeptical look. "Jan, just trust me on this. Okay, let's have...Pam, Angela, Erin, and Nellie come sit down in the stocks." Nobody moved forward. "Michael, do we have to do this? This seems very...odd," Pam noted. Angela said in a bitchy tone, "I'm not getting in that contraption. There's no way." Michael was clearly flustered by their uncooperativeness and appealed to Jan for help. "Um...well...ladies, maybe you should go along with this. I'm sure there's a point to all this...somehow."
The women looked around at each other and then awkwardly stepped forward and sat down. Michael had them place their ankles up on the padded slots while he came around and locked down the tops of the stocks. Michael then had Dwight go down the line and fasten their wrists down to the sides of their seats while he continued to address the group. "Women are looked down on in the workplace as being weak and fragile and easily upset. I think the women here at Dunder Mifflin can break those stereotypes and smash through that glass ceiling. To prove my point, these women have been locked in. In a moment, some of you will tickle them and we'll see if they can resist it enough not to let it bother them.
"Hey, what's all this business about tickling? Uh-uh, I would like to get out now!" protested Nellie.
"Oh gosh, this is like the hundredth time someone has tricked me into getting tickled..." Erin said with an airhead tone.
"This is unacceptable! I demand to be let go right now!" Angela yelled as she fought against her restraints.
"Michael, you can't do this! You have to let us go! You can't just tickle us!" Pam argued.
Pam, Angela, Erin, and Nellie all panicked when their boss mentioned that they would be tickled. They protested and tried to appeal to Jan but Michael continued talking over them. "Now ladies, this is harmless. I want you to show the group, especially the other women here, that you can overcome this obstacle and remain focused...like I believe Jan could." Jan was about to shut down Michael's ridiculous seminar but was taken aback by all the positive attention he was giving her. She let it slide for now. The four captives tried pleading to Toby, the human resources contact, but he couldn't help them. Toby explained, "I'm sorry, ladies. As long as you aren't being harmed and the interaction isn't one of a sexual nature, I can't do anything to stop it."
Michael enthusiastically picked the ticklers for each woman. "Okay for Pam, let's have Jim!" Jim raised his eyebrows and coolly said, "No, Michael, I don't think so. I'm not going to do that to Pam." Jim left the room, raising his eyebrows at the camera as he left the conference room. Without missing a beat, Michael called on Roy to be Pam's tickler. "Uh-oh, Pam. You're ex-fiancé is going to get you now." Pam's stomach tightened at the thought of Roy tickling her. They had dated and been engaged for years. He knew all of her most ticklish spots. Roy knelt down in front of Pam. She was wearing a light button-up shirt, a pink cover-up sweater that hung open in the front, a black skirt, tan nylons, and her usual white Keds.
[CUT TO PAM BEESLY SOLO INTERVIEW]
"Roy and I used to be engaged...for several years. But now that's over and we're just friends." Pam raised her eyebrows to the camera and let an awkward pause go by before she added, "Um...yes, Roy has tickled me before. He knows I hate it. He thinks it's hilarious that it drives me crazy. I'm really kind of afraid of what's going to happen because Roy is pretty mean when he tickles. He would never listen to me when I told him to stop. He just keeps tickling you like it's the funniest thing ever. I wish Jim was going to be the one tickling me. I still don't like it but it's at least kind of fun when he does it."
[BACK TO THE CONFERENCE ROOM]
"For Angela..." Michael scanned the group, "Dwight, come up here." Unbeknownst to the other employees, Dwight and Angela had been engaging in a secret office relationship. Dwight hated the idea of letting his boss and role model down so he obediently stepped forward and kneeled in front of Angela. She was wearing a light yellow turtleneck, a black skirt, white nylons, and black flats.
[CUT TO ANGELA MARTIN SOLO INTERVIEW]
"I despise being tickled. I hate whenever someone else is in control. Am I ticklish?...Yes, which makes it worse. But I haven't been tickled in years."
[BACK TO THE CONFERENCE ROOM]
"And for Miss Erin...how about Gabe?" Michael had no idea that Erin and Gabe had broken up recently. Gabe's face lit up when his name was called. He eagerly knelt down in front of Erin, who was normally energetic and happy but now was clearly worried about what would happen when her ex got his hands on her. Erin was wearing a light purple short-sleeve shirt, a black skirt, and black heels.
[CUT TO ERIN HANNON SOLO INTERVIEW]
"Oh yes, I am extremely ticklish! It's actually kind of fun being tickled but at the same time it's not. And I really don't want to be tickled by Gabe. Our breakup was rough for him and it's really awkward around him now. Plus, I told him that I'm really ticklish on the bottoms of my feet!" Erin commented with a naive smile on her face that slowly faded into a worried frown. "Uh-oh..."
[BACK TO THE CONFERENCE ROOM]
"And last we have Nellie. Let's see...how about you, Jan?" Jan was shocked. "Me, Michael?" She asked. "Yeah, why don't you get in there? You're their role model after all." Jan insisted that someone else be the last tickler but Michael wouldn't take no for an answer. "No, come on. Get over there. Do it, Jan. Be a team player." Jan reluctantly agreed and sat down in front of Nellie. Nellie had on a dark blue V-neck shirt, black dress pants, and black heels.
[CUT TO NELLIE BERTRAM SOLO INTERVIEW]
"I don't think I'll have a problem with this. Sure, I'm ticklish but what woman isn't, you know? And with Jan watching my reactions so closely, this will be a perfect opportunity to show her I'm upper management material." Nellie said with a wink at the camera.
[BACK TO THE CONFERENCE ROOM]
Michael went and stood over by Jan. "Okay, Jan, why don't you start?" Jan wasn't quite sure how to proceed. She felt a roomful of eyes on her as she started slipping off Nellie's heels, revealing a pair of milky size 8 soles with dark red toenail polish on the toes. Nellie tried to play it cool but she couldn't help but feel incredibly vulnerable at the hands of the corporate higher up. Nellie's heels, the outer ridges of her feet, and the pads under her toes had a light pinkish hue compared to the rest of the pale white skin on her arches and toes. Her feet were substantial and quite shapely as well. Her creamy, white toes were long and full. Nellie half-seriously said to Jan, "Oh God, Jan, do go easy on me, huh? I wasn't really prepared for this when I walked in today, you know?" Jan thought Nellie's English accent was cute but ignored her requests as she started lightly scratching her nails along the bottoms of the redhead's feet. "I'm sorry, Nellie, but Michael insists that I go through with this." Nellie tried to hold her composure but was twisting in her seat considerably. "Hehe! Jan, hold on...aaahhh...wait a second...hehe...this is quite silly, now hold on a second...Jan, ease up a bit...aaarrrgghhh...please, hold on a second, really...haha!"
"Oh it looks like Nellie's trying to hold out against Jan. Very good, Nellie! Alright, go ahead, Gabe," said Michael. Gabe looked back at Erin, who's cheery mood had been dampened when she saw her normally tough coworker starting to writhe around and crack up a little. Gabe started taking off his ex-girlfriend's high heels. Erin's narrow size 9 soles were bare for everyone to see now. She had rounded heels, shallow arches, and cute toes that tapered down evenly from her big toes. The redhead had pale feet and only a clear coat of polish on her toenails. "Oh, I forgot how big your feet were." Erin flushed red with embarrassment and crossed one foot in front of the other, trying to hide them from her coworkers. Gabe started dancing his fingers along Erin's soles, making her break into fits of giggles. "Hehehehe! Gabe, that tickles! Hehehehehee! Oh jeez! This is going to be so much harder than I thought! Hahahahaa! Gabe, don't! Hehehehehee!"
"Alright, next we have Angela! Dwight, go ahead," instructed Michael. Dwight turned to look at Angela, who was glaring back at him. "Dwight, if I had known this is what Michael had planned, I would never have sat down. Don't even think about tickling me!" Dwight's loyalty was torn. Did he help his secret significant other or obey his best friend and boss? "Dwight, go ahead. Take off Angela's shoes and start tickling her. That is a direct order to the Assistant to the Regional Manager." Dwight weighed his dilemma and then told Angela, "Sorry baby, er...Angela. Michael says I have to tickle your feet now." With that, Dwight relieved Angela of her black flats. Angela waved her dainty size 5 feet around, still in her white nylons. Dwight started to slowly tickle Angela's frantic soles, making her jump and shriek with laughter. "Aaahahaha! Dwight! Don't you dare tickle me! Eeek! Hehehehehe! Dwight, stop that right now!"
Pam was panicking as she watched her three coworkers start to break down into serious laughter as their feet were tickled in front of the whole office. Then she heard the words she feared. "Okay, Roy, go ahead and tickle Pam!" Roy didn't waste any time unlacing Pam's Keds and tugging them off, revealing the secretary's size 8 soles still with her tan nylons on. He could see she had on light pink toenail polish through her thin nylons. "Roy, wait! Please! Be nice about this! Wait! Wait! Don't take off my shoes, Roy! I don't want you to do this! Please! You know I hate being tickled! Roy, please wait! Wait! Wait! Nohahahahahahaaa!" Roy started darting his hands around Pam's slick nylon-covered feet. "Oh, I remember this haha! I know you hate being tickled, baby! Haha! Wow, you're still really ticklish, aren't you?!"
Michael and the other coworkers watched intently as the women were laughing and thrashing around in their seats. Some of the group started to smile and others even shouted encouragements to the ticklers. A contagious good feeling was overtaking the staff as they watched the show.
[CUT TO OSCAR MARTINEZ SOLO INTERVIEW]
"I've got to admit. It was kind of fun watching Angela get tickled. I don't think I've ever heard her laugh aside from watching cat videos on her computer. She's normally very uptight and grouchy so it was enjoyable to see her in that situation. I had no idea her feet were so ticklish!"
[CUT TO MEREDITH PALMER SOLO INTERVIEW]
"I wouldn't want to be in their situation. They were all laughing so hard they could barely talk. It was fun to watch but those girls were totally wrecked by the end of it."
[BACK TO THE CONFERENCE ROOM]
Gabe was wiggling his fingers up and down Erin's soles, making sure to get the base of her toes well. Every time he attacked her there, she would scrunch her toes down hard and break into hysterical laughter. "HAHAHAHAAAA!!! GABE!!! HAHAHAHAAA!!! NOT THERE!!! HAHAHAAHA!!! GET YOUR FINGERS OUT OF THERE!!! HAHAHAAHAA!!!" Gabe pulled his fingers free from Erin's clenched toes and started caressing her heels and running his fingers along the outer ridges of her feet. Erin wiggled her long, narrow soles wildly but couldn't escape Gabe's menacing touches. The poor receptionist was starting to get red in the cheeks from laughing so hard. Erin's eyes were clenched shut and her adorable laughter poured out as her ex-boyfriend took advantage of her captive tootsies.
"Erin, I have to know...do you miss me?" Gabe asked in a pathetic tone. Erin was struggling to get enough air at that moment so she desperately shouted out whatever she thought would appease Gabe. "HAHAAHAAHAHAAA!!! YES!!! HAHAHAAAAA!!! I MISS YOU!!! I MISS YOU!!! HAHAHAAAHAHAHAAA!!!" Gabe felt his heart warm. Maybe tickling her was helping to bring out her true feelings? He scurried his fingers back to the base of her toes, sending Erin into more unbridled laughter. "AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAA!!! OH JEEZ!!! HAHAHAHAAA!!! GABE, STOP THAT!!! HAHAHAHAHAA!! OH MY GOODNESS!!! HAHAHAHAAAHAHAAA!!! NOT THERE AGAIN!!! PLEASE!!! HAHAHAHAHAAA!!!" Gabe was enjoying the reactions and the interaction he was having with his ex after such a long, awkward period of avoiding each other at the office. "Erin, do you think we could go on a date soon?" "HAHAHAHAHAAA!!! OH MY GOODNESS!!! HAHAHAHAHAAA!!! YES, WE CAN DATE AGAIN!!! I'LL DO ANYTHING YOU WANT IF YOU STOP TICKLING THE BASE OF MY TOES!!! AAAAAAHHAHAAHAHAHAAA!!! OH MY GOODNESS!!!" Gabe pulled his fingers free again from Erin's scrunched toes. He held her left foot still and started playing with her toes. Gabe teasingly massaged each one between his index finger and thumb, starting with her pinky toe. Erin had tears starting to roll down her cheeks as she begged him, "HAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!! NOT THE TOES!!! HAHAHHAAAA!!! GABE, STOP PLAYING WITH MY TOES, PLEASE!!! HAHAHAHAHAAA!!! IT'S TOO MUCH!!! OH JEEZ!!! HAHAHAAHAHAAA!!! OH MY GOODNESS!!!"
Angela was catching her breath as Dwight let her have a small break. "Dwight...I've never...been tickled...like that...in my life. You will get me out...of this right now!" Dwight looked over at Michael, who gave him a stern look and nodded at Angela. Dwight knew he had no choice. He grabbed hold of Angela's nylons on her right foot and pulled them until they started to tear. The hole was big enough for her big toe and second toe to pop through. "Dwight! What are you doing! These are my good nylons!" Dwight finished pulling apart the nylons until they were torn and pushed back up on Angela's ankle. Then he did the same to her other foot. Now Angela's pale, dainty bare feet were sticking out at him. She had small flat heels, wrinkly arches, and well developed toes in perfect proportion to her foot. They weren't short or stubby even given her small shoe size. And she had dark purple toenail polish on. "Oh no, not again!"
Angela burst back into hysterics when Dwight returned to her now bare soles. He scurried his fingers quickly along her arches, forcing the petite blonde to throw her head backward and release a gale of laughter. "AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! DWIGHT!!! DWIGHT, STOP IT!!! HAHAHAHAHAAA!!! NOT MY FEET, PLEASE!!! HAHAHAHAAAA!!! SOMEBODY STOP THIS!!! HAHAHAAAAA!!! PAM, HELP ME!!! EEEK!!! HAHAHAAHAAAA!!!" He kept stroking her wrinkly arches. "Angela, this brings me no pleasure to do this to you, for the record. Also, the point of this exercise is to reinforce mental fortitude, not laugh your ass off. Just try not laughing." Angela's face was twisted as she laughed uncontrollably and wiggled her body and feet around as much as her restraints would allow her. "HAHAHAHAAAA!!! I CAN'T HELP IT, YOU IDIOT!!! HAHAHAHAAAA!!! DWIGHT, I SWEAR THAT YOU'RE GOING TO GET IT WHEN I GET OUT OF THIS!!! HAHAAAAHAHAHAAAAA!!! LEAVE MY FEET ALONE!!! PLEASE!!! HAHAHAAHAAAA!!! I'M BEGGING YOU!!!"
[CUT TO DWIGHT SCHRUTE SOLO INTERVIEW]
"Am I upset I had to tickle Angela? No. I could never betray Michael's orders. If she didn't want to be tickled, she should have not allowed herself to be ticklish. Mind over matter. Simple as that."
[BACK TO THE CONFERENCE ROOM]
Jan was starting to enjoy the control she had over Nellie's reactions and she wasn't bashful about showing it. Nellie's tough demeanor had started to wane as she began breaking down. "Hahahaha! Jan! Stop it, please! Hahahahaa! Now that's enough! Hahahahaha!" Jan flicked her long fingernails along Nellie's milky white arches and below her toes. "Uh-oh, is the little office worker ticklish on her feet?" Nellie just nodded her head up and down as she failed to hold in a wave of laughter. Jan took her fingers and started wildly scrubbing them back and forth across Nellie's soles, which caused the vibrant redhead to shriek with giggles and laughter. "HAHAHAAAA!!! EEEHHHH!!! HAHAHAHAHEEHEEHEE!!! JAN!!! STOP IT, I'M SERIOUS!!! HAHAHAHAAAAA!!! SLOW DOWN!!! THIS AIN'T FAIR, YOU KNOW!!! HAHAHAHAAAA!!! OH PLEASE, JUST SLOW DOWN WHAT YOU'RE DOING TO MY FEET!!! HAHAHAAHAHAHAAA!!!"
Jan went to town on Nellie's feet. She scratched under her toes, along her arches, and focused under the balls of her feet. Nellie pulled hard at her wrist restraints but couldn't free herself as she flung herself wildly from side to side. Her red hair whipped behind her as she screamed at Jan to stop tormenting her. "Aw, you don't like the feeling of my fingernails on your feetsies, do you? Tickle, tickle, tickle..." Nellie shouted and bucked in her seat. "HAHAHAAAA!!! JAN, QUIT IT!!! HAHAHAHAAAAA!!! COME OFF IT, JAN!!! JUST A QUICK BREAK?!?! HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAA!!! FUCK ME, YOUR FINGERNAILS ARE EXCRUTIATING!!! HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAA!!!"
Roy was thoroughly enjoying making Pam melt into sheer hysterics as he mercilessly held her feet together in the crook of his arm and wildly tickled the bottoms of her nylon-covered soles with his other hand. Pam let out a string of her sweet laughter, which only encouraged Roy to keep tickling her. "That's it, baby, laugh for me haha! It's not the first time I've tickled you in your work nylons, is it haha!" Pam absolutely hated the feeling. She begged her ex-fiancé, "HAHAHAHAAHAAA!!! ROY, STOP IT!!! HAHAHAAHAAAA!!! PLEASE, JUST STOP FOR A MINUTE!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!" "You love it, don't you, baby?" Pam's eyes were starting to tear up from laughing so hard. "ROY, PLEASE!!! HAHAHAHAHAAAA!!! I CAN'T STAND IT!!! HAHAHAAHAA!!! NO MORE!!! THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING!!!"
Roy suddenly ripped Pam's nylons open crudely and pushed them up to her ankles. "Oh God, no more...please, Roy! You know how ticklish my feet are." "Oh yeah, I do haha!" Roy jumped back into tickling Pam, quickly wiggling his fingers around on her super soft foot bottoms. She had naturally soft soles that rarely needed pedicures. Her smooth, flat heels, wrinkly arches, and creamy, short toes looked absolutely adorable. Roy showed them no mercy. "Tell me you missed this, babe!" "HAHAHAHAAAAHAHAHAAA!!! I DON'T! I HATE IT! HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAHAHAAA!!! OH MY GOD, IT'S WORSE BAREFOOT!!! HAHAHAHAAHAHAAA!!!" "Haha, you aren't seeing anyone else are you, babe?!" Pam didn't want to come out about Jim to everyone at that point so she lied, "HAHAHAAHAAA!!! NO!!! I'M NOT!!! I SWEAR!!! HAHAHAHAAHA!!!!" "Say I'm the best you've ever had!" "HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAA!!! YOU'RE THE BEST HAHAHAHAHAAA!!! I'VE EVER HAD!!! HAHAHAHAAHA!!! ROY, STOP IT!!! NOT MY FEET!!! NOT MY FEET!!! OH GOD, ROY, YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE ME PEE MYSELF!!! HAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!"
[CUT TO KELLY KAPOOR SOLO INTERVIEW]
"Oh my God! Like Pam was super ticklish on her feet and Roy was like totally tickling her really bad and like you could tell Pam was on the verge of going crazy because it tickled so much. I mean I get that like Roy was her fiancé but still, you like can't tickle somebody that badly even if you used to date. Pam like totally almost peed all over herself and Roy didn't care at all. Like he thought it was funny."
[BACK TO THE CONFERENCE ROOM]
Michael and the rest of the Dunder Mifflin employees were now a captive audience as they watched their four female coworkers completely break down. Their loud laughter echoed out into the office from the conference room.
Jan's repetitive and unrelenting strokes on Nellie's arches were too much for the tough redhead. She fought to form words but Jan had no intention of stopping now anyway. She kept scratching her long fingernails across the pale arches over and over again. A wicked smile was now fixed on Jan's face as she watched her own handiwork take effect. Nellie was by far the loudest in the group. Her shouting, begging, and hysterical laughter boomed above the rest even. "HAHAHAHAAAA!!! COME OFF IT, JAN!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!! THIS IS TOO MUCH!!! HAHAHAAAHAHAHAAAA!!! GET AWAY FROM MY FEET!!! HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAAA!!! GOD, YOU'RE BLOODY FINGERNAILS ARE PURE TORTURE!!! AAAAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAAAAA!!! PLEASE, NO MORE!!! HAHAHAHAAHAAHAAA!!!" Jan just looked over at Nellie and smiled as she kept tickling her feet with her nails. "Tickle, tickle, tickle..."
Gabe had Erin totally exhausted after she tried to fend off multiple tickle attacks to her most ticklish areas. Now, she could only weakly wiggle her feet around away from Gabe's tormenting fingers. Erin completely lost it when Gabe held her toes back and scratched his fingertips lightly back and forth at the base of her toes. She bucked so hard in her seat that she routinely was able to jump up off it for a split second. She fell into silent laughter, no longer having the energy to put up a decent fight against the tickling assault. "HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!! GABE, NO!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!...(silent laughter)...AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! OH MY GOODNESS!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!! NOT RIGHT THERE!!! HAHAHHAAHAAAHAHAA!!! NO MORE!!! NO MORE!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!! OH GEEZ, PLEASE QUIT IT!!! HAHAHAAHAHAHAAAA!!!" Gabe was absolutely enjoying having his ex at his mercy.
Dwight was now focusing on Angela's perfect toes. The poor, little accountant was doing everything she could from breaking down and crying in front of everyone. Dwight was running his fingers between her wiggling toes, taking Angela to a new level of agony. "HAHAHAAAAHHAHAHAAA!!! OH DWIGHT, STOP IT!!! PLEASE!!! HAHAHAAAHAHAHAAA!!! IT'S TOO MUCH!!! I CAN'T TAKE IT!!! HAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA!!! LET ME GO!!! PLEASE!!! HAHAHAAHAAA!!! NOT BETWEEN MY TOES!!! THAT FEELS AWFUL!!! AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!" Dwight seemed to be studying Angela's reactions. "You're feet are so tiny. What are they, a size five? Jesus. Well, I've got to hand it to you though; I have yet to find a defect with them. They appear to be perfectly proportioned. The only obvious flaw is their sensitivity...one of the many weaknesses of your gender." "HAHAHAHAAAA!!! OH SHUT UP, DWIGHT!!! HAAHAHAHAHAAA!!! AND LET ME GO!!! NOW!!! HAHAHAAHAAAAHHAAA!!!"
Pam had tears rolling down her cheeks as she melted into sheer hysterics. Roy knew every little ticklish spot on her soles and there was no escaping his relentless wiggling fingers as they exploited them all to the fullest. It was the little areas that nobody really knew about that drove Pam nuts when Roy would focus on them. Spots like the outer edge of her heels near her ankles or a firm stroke across the balls of her feet or the spot just under her pinky toes or the extra-soft skin on the inner side of her big toes. That spot took her into the stratosphere of laughter. "HAHAHAHAHAAAAHAHAAAA!!! ROY!!! NOT THERE!!! OH MY GOD, NOT THERE!!! PLEASE!!! BAAAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAA!!! GET AWAY FROM MY BIG TOES!!! HAHAAHAHAHAHAAA!!! YOU'RE SO MEAN!!! STOP IT!!! HAHAHAAHAHAHAAA!!! I CAN'T TAKE IT!!! NO MORE!!! HAHAHAAHAHAAHAAA!!! NOT MY BIG TOES, PLEASE!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!"
[NARRATION AS EMPLOYEES ARE LET OUT OF THE STOCKS -- MICHAEL SCOTT]
(Nellie stands up and comes face to face with Jan. Jan smiles at Nellie as she bashfully grabs her heels and walks out.)
"I think that went great! I felt like everyone had a great time."
(Erin awkwardly avoids Gabe as he tries to talk to her afterward. She picks up her heels and walks back to the receptionist desk barefoot and serious.)
"I was hoping that the women could have held out a little better. They all kind of lost it there at the end but oh well. Still a good time, right?"
(Angela is released and glares at Dwight with a seething expression. She clumsily puts her flats back on and storms out of the conference room, leaving Dwight looking guilty and ashamed.)
"The important thing to remember is...women aren't just weak coworkers without penises...they can be tough. They can be strong. They can do my job if they wanted. Not for as much pay of course." Michael laughs at his own joke and then says, "I'm kidding. Kidding. Jan makes like twice as much as me..." He says as his smile fades and he looks away from the camera.
(Pam gets up looking upset and defeated as Roy beams a smile at her. She awkwardly picks up her shoes and walks out of the conference room barefoot. She sits down on Jim's desk. No dialogue is heard but Pam is smiling as Jim starts massaging her feet while listening to her.)
[CUT TO JAN LEVINSON-GOULD SOLO INTERVIEW]
"I have no idea what that was supposed to accomplish but to be quite honest...it wasn't the worst seminar Michael has put on. Sometimes you have to pick your battles. And yes, it was...fun...participating in the seminar."
[CUT TO MICHAEL SCOTT SOLO INTERVIEW]
"I think Jan was impressed. I really do. Those stocks cost me quite a bit out of pocket...because corporate wouldn't reimburse me...but I think it was worth it in the end. I think everyone at this office learned a valuable lesson about a woman's worth in the workplace."
[CUT TO PAM BEESLY SOLO INTERVIEW]
(Pam is sitting in the conference room next to one of the stocks.)
"That was possibly the worst experience I've ever had while working here. I knew I had ticklish feet but I didn't think I could ever laugh that hard. Oh my gosh, that was awful. My feet are the worst. And like I said, Roy is a really mean tickler. He just doesn't stop. But it's over now. I get to go home." Pam looks to make sure most of the people in the office have filed out to their cars. "At least I get to meet up with Jim now. We have plans to go on a date!" Pam admits as her face lights up and she smiles from ear to ear.
One of the camera crew said, "You might have to push your date back a little tonight. You might not be out of here by five o'clock." Pam looked puzzled and asked, "What do you mean?" One of the guys in the camera crew pulls out a stiff, white feather and starts waving it back and forth at Pam. "Goochie, goochie, goo..." Pam's expression turns to one of dread as she says, "Oh no..."
[CUT TO ENDING CREDITS]
THE END
And I'm not even a big fan of that show. 
