Chat room rules

Perhaps I should've posted this in the chat room thread, but I don't know if it would get noticed there. I've been going in the chat room here regularly for the past two weeks now. I just noticed one of the chat room rules that are listed, which says that no one should IM someone without asking in the main room first. Is this rule strictly enforced? I can only speak for myself, but I know I'm constantly getting IM'd there, or PM'd as they usually call it, and I am never asked first in the main room. I wouldn't mind, if only it wasn't for the fact that 99% of these are unwanted, and from people that apparently don't even bother to look at my profile to see what my interests are...in fact I think many may look at my profile, know that I'm not looking for whatever they're offering, but they'll PM me anyway, again, without first asking permission in the main room. So...do they really get booted for not following the rules, as is STATED in the rules, or, do I get booted from this site for causing trouble by writing this post????

Nope. It's not enforced at all, and if you ever bring it up there's a number of people who will tell you to "just ignore IMs" or "leave this place if you don't like it". So I guess the best thing you can do is just getting used to it...
But then again it would be quite difficult to enforce it (and would probably result in wiping out 90% of chat folks). It is much more a case of people not caring about rules than an inefficient moderation.

ichii said:

Nope. It's not enforced at all, and if you ever bring it up there's a number of people who will tell you to "just ignore IMs" or "leave this place if you don't like it". So I guess the best thing you can do is just getting used to it...
But then again it would be quite difficult to enforce it (and would probably result in wiping out 90% of chat folks). It is much more a case of people not caring about rules than an inefficient moderation.

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Well that's what I gathered, and yes I learned to deal with it. I just wanted other peoples' opinions, so thanks.

Oh and by the way, I don't completely ignore the IM's, because very recently I learned that some may be from people I'm interested in. But this is extremely rare; I've only had like a couple so far, and even with those I suspect they may have been lying about their gender, so I had to investigate...and no I won't go IM'ing anyone myself because I still need to get to know people well enough in the main room. I admit I was getting so fed up though that I did force myself to IM someone, and I did break the rules by not even knowing that person at all. This could very well have led to me being virtually slapped in the face, but luckily for me the person turned out to be very nice.

Sometimes taking a chance does work.

Ricky here is a word of advice:
1) Always pm anyone you want to talk to. It shows politeness, common curtsy, and people will respect you more for asking.
2) If someone says they are open to pms, then it is okay to pm them then.
3) If you happen to build friendships here, some people will always have their pms open to you based on the fact your friends and you will not have to ask.
Being polite, respectful, and considerate are the keys here

If you change your settings to "ignore IMs" this will only block new incoming conversations. You will still be able to private message with people as long as you initiate the convo. This should allow you to talk with who you want without the unwanted PMs.

Unfortunately, there are few if any active chat mods. Most of the mods here volunteer and as a prior chat mod myself, its a shitty job.

If you want, you can report a person thats bothering you or messaging you without permission to Myriads. It helps to have screencaps.

Hope this helps

TicklishBlackDragon said:

Ricky here is a word of advice:
1) Always pm anyone you want to talk to. It shows politeness, common curtsy, and people will respect you more for asking.
2) If someone says they are open to pms, then it is okay to pm them then.
3) If you happen to build friendships here, some people will always have their pms open to you based on the fact your friends and you will not have to ask.
Being polite, respectful, and considerate are the keys here

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I admit I did PM a person I didn't know, because I was getting tired of all the unwanted PM's, but I was polite and kindly asked the person if they wanted to talk, and we ended up becoming good friends. But this is the only time I did this, TBD. Otherwise, I've been staying on the main board getting to know everyone. I feel this is the best way, that and by posting in the forum.

chicago said:

If you change your settings to "ignore IMs" this will only block new incoming conversations. You will still be able to private message with people as long as you initiate the convo. This should allow you to talk with who you want without the unwanted PMs.

Unfortunately, there are few if any active chat mods. Most of the mods here volunteer and as a prior chat mod myself, its a shitty job.

If you want, you can report a person thats bothering you or messaging you without permission to Myriads. It helps to have screencaps.

Hope this helps

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Thank you, I'll keep it in mind. There doesn't seem to be any one person who bothers me in there with this in particular, it just seems to be a lot of different people. And if there's a difference between a "IM" and a "PM" then I've yet to figure it out, though what I'm referring to here is that box that suddenly pops up in the middle of the screen, which also can be very distracting while you're in the middle of typing something on the main board, likewise if you are typing something in that box to someone, and another person sends one, the one you're typing in gets wiped out. I wonder if there's a way they can just wait in line???

Rickytickly said:

Thank you, I'll keep it in mind. There doesn't seem to be any one person who bothers me in there with this in particular, it just seems to be a lot of different people. And if there's a difference between a "IM" and a "PM" then I've yet to figure it out, though what I'm referring to here is that box that suddenly pops up in the middle of the screen, which also can be very distracting while you're in the middle of typing something on the main board, likewise if you are typing something in that box to someone, and another person sends one, the one you're typing in gets wiped out. I wonder if there's a way they can just wait in line???

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IMs and PMs are the same thing.

And aside from the number of suggestions given here, I dont think any real adjustments like your waiting in line idea is possible. The software is what it is kinda thing.

chicago said:

IMs and PMs are the same thing.

And aside from the number of suggestions given here, I dont think any real adjustments like your waiting in line idea is possible. The software is what it is kinda thing.

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That's cool, and thanks. I been handling it ok and I think I got the hang of it now, so I should be alright!

Rickytickly said:

I just noticed one of the chat room rules that are listed, which says that no one should IM someone without asking in the main room first. Is this rule strictly enforced?

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I prefer it when the rule is ignored. Genders, roles and sexual preferences are not always apparent, and I don't mind if someone pops up in a chat window and asks. I don't always watch the main chat window when I'm on there, and I would be upset if someone I liked didn't IM me because of the rule and we missed out on a good conversation.

Saying that, I can see why some people prefer the rule to be there.

FenwickCat said:

I prefer it when the rule is ignored. Genders, roles and sexual preferences are not always apparent, and I don't mind if someone pops up in a chat window and asks. I don't always watch the main chat window when I'm on there, and I would be upset if someone I liked didn't IM me because of the rule and we missed out on a good conversation.

Saying that, I can see why some people prefer the rule to be there.

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Well my gender and preferences are on my profile, but I was only just now told by someone that if they are on a mobile then they are unable to, or perhaps they meant it's hard for them to look at it. Often what tends to happen when these PM's pop up, the first thing they throw at you is something like; "M/ler/37, or whatever, I guess meaning they expect you to give the same info about yourself right back to them. But I just say "not interested, thanks" and X out the box. Out of the hundred or so times this has happened, twice it was people claiming to be female, so of course I doubted it. Later someone told me they knew one of them and said yes, she is a she, but .....she never got in touch again either. The other one that messaged was also confirmed for me as being real, but this person, for whatever reason, when pm'ing, says very little. In fact very next to nothing. So the whole thing is like....wtf?????


I really do think it's best to just get to know the people on the main board. If people want to PM me who I don't know from the main board, I'm all ears, but they should at least have something to say about themselves, and be SOMEWHAT articulate. Oh, and have the courtesy to say goodbye before leaving. This is very rude, and seems to happen all the time; interrupting me when I'm trying to write something on the board, so I take the time to talk to them, they say a few offbeat things, then suddenly leave without notice.

Someone told me it may be because they're getting kicked off because of "java". Well I'm not too sure about that. Maybe, maybe not. I just think many just like to PM and they don't even place much importance on it. I'll go and message the person who PM'd me, asking, "Hey, where did you go?" and they don't write back. Likely they just moved on to someone else.

I'm not gonna take any of it seriously, I'll say THAT much.

Rickytickly said:

I'm not gonna take any of it seriously, I'll say THAT much.

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I find myself in agreement with FenwickCat. While asking in the main room is the official rule and the proper thing to do, your message can often get overlooked especially if the room is busy. And often (not always), even if it does get noticed, you can be subject to mockery/derision by the other people in the room.
My policy is to send one polite PM. If they respond, happy days. If it's clear they don't want to talk (by them closing the window or otherwise not responding) then I leave them be.

Oh....FIDDLESTICKS!!!!!!!!!!

Hold on............the other thing I should mention is....since the main board is often empty, and even though I'm not interested in guys as far as tickling goes, I really don't mind talking to them. If they PM me and want to talk, I can often get into some interesting conversations. And the other thing I found out is, they ain't always even interested in me either, they often are straight too and just want some one on one conversation, you know, tell me about what it's like to tickle their wife and all that.

So...............I'm startin' to learn things here....bit by bit by bit...... .... ... .. .