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Soulmates?

S

SwitchUpForIt

Registered User
Joined
Feb 19, 2017
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I've never really got why some people do, so I thought I'd ask, do you believe in soulmates and why?
I understand that people view their partners as one of if not the most important important thing in their lives, I just don't think a soulmate makes sense.

The reason I don't believe in soulmates is because I don't think it makes sense that two people would just be a perfect match.
For one thing, those two people could be born at any point in time, future or past.
And in any culture or in any environment.
And we change as we develop, so even if you are a 'perfect match' for somebody you might not be in a a few years.
Also, I think the idea of a soulmate undermines the work that has to go into a relationship, it's not good enough to be a good match, you have to put the effort in.

Anybody agree/disagree? anybody think they have a soulmate?

(By the way this isn't one of these nothing in life matters and you're stupid for caring about anything because life is meaningless threads, I just want to know peoples opinions)
 
It was sort of one of those topics that was washed into my head as a child. Do I? Where? I just try to love myself.

Maybe this helps
 
Depends what you mean by "soulmate", I suppose. I think in most cases it's simply denoting a person that you feel a very deep connection with. But when people talk about "the one", or fate bringing two people together, or it being a miracle to have found their perfect match or something like that, then I tend to switch off. Just seems a bit of an immature, solipsistic view of things, in my opinion.
 
Yeah I think on the deep connection part, if you love somebody it probably feels like you couldn't be with anybody else,

but if it's a case of 'the one', I don't buy it

Vanillaphant said:
Depends what you mean by "soulmate", I suppose. I think in most cases it's simply denoting a person that you feel a very deep connection with. But when people talk about "the one", or fate bringing two people together, or it being a miracle to have found their perfect match or something like that, then I tend to switch off. Just seems a bit of an immature, solipsistic view of things, in my opinion.
Click to expand...
 
No I do not believe in soulmates. I think you figure out the things that are truly important to you, find someone who has most of those I'm common, and make it work.
 
I think people that are still happy after 20+ years may very accurately have found their "soulmate". Not very many have smiles on their faces after that length of time. Maybe its a word too casually thrown around and should be something given after the 10 year mark. People that are still together and happy after 40, 50 years... yes I definetly would say they are Soulmates.

Under 10 years? SoulBuddies or SoulLovers lol
 
I think too that... if you are in a relationship and one of the 2 passes away... Soul Mate is also accurate. Sad to say but what else can they be? My Gf and I considered ourselves SoulMates- and we were together 12 years. Now... I definetly HAVE to use that term in relation to her. . She's no longer here with me. It's more accurate than ever.
 
Soulcomrade? Soulassociate? Soulconcomitant?

CapturedDoll said:
I think people that are still happy after 20+ years may very accurately have found their "soulmate". Not very many have smiles on their faces after that length of time. Maybe its a word too casually thrown around and should be something given after the 10 year mark. People that are still together and happy after 40, 50 years... yes I definetly would say they are Soulmates.

Under 10 years? SoulBuddies or SoulLovers lol
Click to expand...
 
I think that makes sense
even if you can't connect physically you still connect
using it like that is more meaningful than just throwing it around


CapturedDoll said:
I think too that... if you are in a relationship and one of the 2 passes away... Soul Mate is also accurate. Sad to say but what else can they be? My Gf and I considered ourselves SoulMates- and we were together 12 years. Now... I definetly HAVE to use that term in relation to her. . She's no longer here with me. It's more accurate than ever.
Click to expand...
 
SwitchUpForIt said:
I think that makes sense
even if you can't connect physically you still connect
using it like that is more meaningful than just throwing it around
Click to expand...

Yes. I never thought of it like this until that happened. But it is more meaningful in this light.
 
I think that's it about love, you don't really get it until you're the person in it
and the when you are, you don't really get how others don't get it


CapturedDoll said:
Yes. I never thought of it like this until that happened. But it is more meaningful in this light.
Click to expand...
 
SwitchUpForIt said:
I think that's it about love, you don't really get it until you're the person in it
and the when you are, you don't really get how others don't get it
Click to expand...

Yes and no. People love their parents, best friends, and pets- and in a lot of cases would take a bullet for any and all of the above. Or have enough empathy that one would relinguish any thoughts of self indulgant love in order to make sure the other person/ pet etc is taken care of. Love is a huge spectrum.

Are you contemplating this for any specific reason today? Or just contemplation in general? :) I mean... not to get nosey but did someone call you their soul mate and you don't really feel the same way?
 
Are you contemplating this for any specific reason today? Or just contemplation in general? :) I mean... not to get nosey but did someone call you their soul mate and you don't really feel the same way?[/QUOTE said:
bit of both, mostly in general
No nobody called me their soulmate haha
Click to expand...
 
Do you have to believe people actually have a soul to believe in soulmates? I don't believe in either of those things. I do believe in Solemates however. He posts quite a bit.
 
I dont believe in soul mates, but I do believe in strong connections with people that make you feel like your bond is stronger than normal. Can happen with friends or significant others i feel like
 
I don't know about soulmates, but like others have said, I think, if you're the kind of person who can make those connections, you can bond with other people on different levels.
My wife and I have been together over 25 years; she's my mate. That's how it feels to us, like we're bonded on more than just an emotional level.
I also have a close friend who's basically my psychological twin; she and I have a different kind of bond.
I think soulmates is sort of a limited term.
 
How long did it take for those who felt they found their soulmates to recognize this could be it? Usually when I have an amazing meetup...spontaneous combustion occurs and I find some note listing things I did wrong.
 
This reminds me a lot of the Parable of the Poisoned Arrow, where the monk Malunkyaputta wants answers to big questions like the origin of the cosmos and if there's an afterlife, and Gautama tells the story of a man who has been shot with a poisoned arrow and is refusing to have it removed until he knows everything about who shot him; his social status, physical attributes, the kind of bow used, etc. Ultimately, the man doesn't have answers to those questions but he does know something. That is, he's going to die if the arrow doesn't get removed.

We can have meaningful lives, without knowing all the answers.

What we observe is that people can and do experience what we've coined “falling in love”, and they can remain "in love" their whole lives, and feel like they were MFEO. But I do not think that means their love was unconditional. I think the conditions that could have severed their bond just didn’t arise. Alas, what we also see is people “in love” with who they sincerely believe are their “perfect match” who then “fall out of love”.

I do not believe in a classic *mystical* interpretation of soulmates; the idea that supernatural forces are guiding love lives, that a cosmic matchmaker is pulling the strings making sure couples find each other. I think the feeling like you are with who you are "supposed to be with" is an emotional construct with a bio-psycho-social explanation. But, whether "soulmates" exist in the literal or the figurative, whether it's going to last forever, and whether that feeling is magical or molecular, it simply IS beautiful in itself.

I also want to add that the concept of soulmates insinuates a superiority of monoamorous inclinations, which I don't find valid.
 
Well, all is square when you fall. You eventually get married, then you become the "perfect match." All you need is the "ring".
(I almost forgot, of course there is!). Pun intended. XD
 
GirlMeetsTickle said:
This reminds me a lot of the Parable of the Poisoned Arrow, where the monk Malunkyaputta wants answers to big questions like the origin of the cosmos and if there's an afterlife, and Gautama tells the story of a man who has been shot with a poisoned arrow and is refusing to have it removed until he knows everything about who shot him; his social status, physical attributes, the kind of bow used, etc. Ultimately, the man doesn't have answers to those questions but he does know something. That is, he's going to die if the arrow doesn't get removed.

We can have meaningful lives, without knowing all the answers.

What we observe is that people can and do experience what we've coined “falling in love”, and they can remain "in love" their whole lives, and feel like they were MFEO. But I do not think that means their love was unconditional. I think the conditions that could have severed their bond just didn’t arise. Alas, what we also see is people “in love” with who they sincerely believe are their “perfect match” who then “fall out of love”.

I do not believe in a classic *mystical* interpretation of soulmates; the idea that supernatural forces are guiding love lives, that a cosmic matchmaker is pulling the strings making sure couples find each other. I think the feeling like you are with who you are "supposed to be with" is an emotional construct with a bio-psycho-social explanation. But, whether "soulmates" exist in the literal or the figurative, whether it's going to last forever, and whether that feeling is magical or molecular, it simply IS beautiful in itself.

I also want to add that the concept of soulmates insinuates a superiority of monoamorous inclinations, which I don't find valid.
Click to expand...

This is a very well thought out statement.
Thank you for the parable as it helpful with my reading comprehension of the intricate.
 
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