Dating & our Fetish

shygirl5 · Mar 20, 2017

I'm looking for some feedback from people who have already been through this sort of thing.....Personally, I have never dated. I simply met a fellow ticklephile online, became best friends with him and married him....I'm separated now for just over a year (whole other complicated story).

I'm currently not looking for love or a relationship, but being the curious girl that I am....just thought I'd throw this out there to people.

How does dating someone who is already a ticklephile compare to dating a vanilla person who is okay with your fetish (assuming they know)?
I think this question may be a bit complex though as partners would need to decide together if they could play individually with others or not and whether it would become sexual or not...

(I'm sure I already know the answer to the alternate scenario of being a ticklephile dating a vanilla person who is against it - very difficult, I'd imagine - having either to squash your "drive" for your fetish or hide it from your partner.)

Anyhoo....hope that all made sense. If anyone cares to reply - great! If not, I'll figure it out one day. Haha!

~ Shygirl aka The BarefootMaiden

Johnny lea · Mar 20, 2017

It's a loaded question, which isn't a criticism or a bad thing.

If there's something that interests you about a person I think you just go with it and try not make the scenario too bogged down in what ifs or maybes. As you get more comfortable you'll hopefully get more of a feeling in answering these more complex questions. In turn that would hopefully let you decide whether your individual needs could be met in any sort of compromise or other way.

Maybe that's practical maybe it isn't. Look forward to everyone else's input.

Alliekat · Mar 20, 2017

Well, I am married to a "vanilla" so to speak. It has worked out well for us. Since I am primarily a lee, he has no problem adding some tickling to our sex life, as he knows I enjoy it, and it is a really nice way to get me going.

I guess it depends on how important tickling is to your romantic life. For me it was always a kink that I enjoy immensely, (hence why I have an active account here) but it has never been the driving force behind who I decided to date and ultimately marry. I have always been of the mindset that it is more important to end up with someone you love and are compatible with, and try to introduce them to some of your kinks as you go along.

Before I was married I never sought out anyone who shared my fetish. Once I was comfortable with them I was just pretty forward about what tickling (and bondage as well) did for me, and they were usually pretty cool with it.

There are others who prefer to only date with people who share their kinks, and that is fine too. As is the case with most things, it really just depends on the individuals involved, but based on my experiences, it is totally possible to date a vanilla and introduce them to your fetish/kinks as you go along.

Hope this helps

shygirl5 · Mar 20, 2017

Good response Alliekat.

and thanks to you as well Johnny.

Californiasun19 · Mar 20, 2017

No vanilla here.. I tried to date Vanilla and was not happy or satisfied. I specifically looked for a woman that loved foot fetish guys and found one. In took some time.. But I landed and married one.. Been together for 13 years now! It is awesome! TIme is precious.. DO not just settle. Carpe diem!

Park CollegeO · Mar 20, 2017

For me personally it didn't differ all that much. I dated a girl who was into BDSM in general and ultimately was in some of my videos. But apart from that it was like any other relationship i'd been in. Had it ups and downs, but we never had the fetishes completely consume our relationship. It wasn't a conceited effort by any means. We both had jobs and some nights we'd get back to the apartment and not even bring up anything fetish related or engage in any kind of play or what not. IMO balance is very important when you date someone with a similar fetish otherwise it becomes old fast

kevin_kidnapped · Mar 20, 2017

I don't think shy is looking for this to be all about one person or their favorite ice cream flavors.....

TicklishBlackGuy · Mar 20, 2017

Rickytickly said:
That's great! But I never knew how to look...I just went with whoever chose me, lol

I think you missed the whole point of what this thread is, this is about personal experience, not what your looking for in a relationship type of deal

robmic · Mar 20, 2017

The one thing I've experienced with the dating thing, regardless if tickling is involved or not, is that the older you get, the more difficult it gets! When I was young, the choices abounded and I could try to incorporate tickling into whatever activities we were doing. If it worked, great. If not, you moved on. Not that easy anymore. You try something out of the ordinary and you could be branded a perv....

archmagusblue · Mar 20, 2017

I think it very much depends on the individuals in question anyway; no two people are going to be exactly alike and so will react to things differently. My wife is a vanilla, or rather, she's into a few things I'm not, and she's pretty much not into the tickling scene (though she doesn't mind a tickle fight as she finds it entertaining and can help with moods).

It also depends on the relationship dynamic. When I was dating I wasn't ever able to find someone who was into the tickling scene and I was pretty uptight. I met my wife after I started relaxing and enjoying life and she opened me up to a lot of ideas. She introduced me to polyamory and she pursues her fetishes and I do mine, coming home to one another after. Its an oddly comfortable situation and not one I'd have considered in the past, so... It really does depend on the individuals and the dynamic of your relationship, which won't be the same as the next or the previous one.

Before my wife, I had a play partner who wasn't into tickling but she loved being dominated and that could be used for it so there was a little overlap.

Rickytickly · Mar 20, 2017

kevin_kidnapped said:
I don't think shy is looking for this to be all about one person or their favorite ice cream flavors.....

True, I changed the subject again, sorry, I better delete that....it didn't apply to me so I answered it in my own way. If it was too off-topic or irrelevant, then, OK.

Rickytickly · Mar 20, 2017

TicklishBlackDragon said:
I think you missed the whole point of what this thread is, this is about personal experience, not what your looking for in a relationship type of deal

Yeah I got the point of the thread, but I admit I did change the subject because I couldn't relate to it, so I answered it, it my own way, but sorry, I'll delete that.

gilmourwaters · Mar 21, 2017

personally when I was dating I never had a problem really getting my fetishes into my relationships. Never hid them. All my friends knew and were cool with it.Female friends used to tease me with there feet all the time and often let me tickle them! Told my gfs right upfront...most thought it was cute to downright hot! those who didn't I ended the relationship with right away...fetishes are part of who you are and I don't hide or change who I am for anyone. Its all in how its presented! My wife WAS vanilla TIL the night we met....so much for vanilla lol

EmbraceSerenity · Mar 23, 2017

Dated guys with the fetish, and actually it caused more problems because these guys with the fetish wanted to tickle a certain way, pestered about bondage, about how they wanted to do it with disregard to my feelings whilst my boyfriend now, doesnt have the fetish but completely embraces it with me and we use it as a form of foreplay and we have a great intimacy. I think the fact that I introduced it to meant we could introduce things slowly and work out what we enjoyed together.

midnightx · Mar 25, 2017

robmic said:
The one thing I've experienced with the dating thing, regardless if tickling is involved or not, is that the older you get, the more difficult it gets! When I was young, the choices abounded and I could try to incorporate tickling into whatever activities we were doing. If it worked, great. If not, you moved on. Not that easy anymore. You try something out of the ordinary and you could be branded a perv....

This is such a sad truth. I never really got lucky enough to find someone who shared by kink (I don't want to use the word "defect" but sometimes it feels that way). When I was a young man it was just easy and innocent to tickle girls you were interested in. It was just a form of flirting, they expected it, and it never raised any questions during that period in my life. However, just as Robmic said, once you enter middle age it's really impossible to work in anything so playful without coming off as a real wierdo. I'm not sure why things were so innocent then and so serious now but that's just the nature of our society. Shame, a little non-seriousness and playfulness would make modern dating less of a job where you have to hit all your marks and lines perfectly by the script. That's just not how things are though.

duderino84 · Mar 25, 2017

Not really sad. ...I am a perv! Some girls like it, some don't like it, some wonder why you won't just skip to the poking that matters. ...is it difficult? Yes. Do I feel sometimes like it's a punishment? Sure. Like everything else. ...it's a shit shot. So go get em. If the other side cares, there'll be bigger more exciting problems.

Dating & our Fetish

shygirl5

TMF Regular

Johnny lea

TMF Expert

Alliekat

TMF Master

shygirl5

TMF Regular

Californiasun19

TMF Expert

Park CollegeO

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kevin_kidnapped

TMF Expert

TicklishBlackGuy

1st Level Yellow Feather

robmic

Verified

archmagusblue

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Rickytickly

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Rickytickly

TMF Expert

gilmourwaters

1st Level Green Feather

EmbraceSerenity

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midnightx

TMF Novice

duderino84

2nd Level Orange Feather