I went through an incredibly painful divorce. She was a bi-polar who half-way through our union decided she was cured and defied taking any medication or regularly seeing a councilor. This is common for bi-polars and the pain of bi-polar husbands and wives is legendary; you can't pick who you fall in love with. For years she was the only person who truly loved me, who wanted me to be happy, who wanted to celebrate our lives together. That all flamed out in spectacular fashion after the meds stopped and she did the math that I was now her most-hated enemy in life (yep, this happens, the person who loved you suddenly hates you). Long story, short version, when I was travelling on the road for business she called me to say she was in another state visiting a friend from her online Minecraft server, that it was a guy and she planned to be with him and it was actually my fault for not fulfilling her (I drove her to it was the exact wording). There's a lot more but that's enough detail to paint the picture.
So with that context given, it took me about three years and I'm really not all the way back yet. I fell into a pretty deep hole, hit my head on every rung of the ladder on my way to rock bottom, and after much time I began to climb back out one fist full of dirt at a time. I'm still recovering but my mind, body, and soul are changing. I'm starting to embrace my passions again. Things I haven't felt for a long time are coming to the surface. My heart once again flutters (not in that heart attack kind of way) depending on what I see or experience. I'm starting to feel the need for companionship again and while I currently cannot foresee getting married, ever again, I would like someone in my life again if the right person came along.
It's going to take time for your heart to be ready to be vulnerable again. Don't rush this. It has to come naturally and it will come, be sure of that. There is no quota you have to meet in your recovery. When/if you choose to date again wait until you're comfortable. Also, feel free to be a little exacting in pursuing items of passion, including relationships. You've been through the fire and there's no timetable here so you can wait for someone that clicks with you, not someone willing to take you so you're suddenly back in the game. Don't be afraid to cry. It happens. At all costs do not keep all of your feelings to yourself to spin in your head. They're painful and I'd highly recommend a councilor to express them to. Friends and family make for good support but there really are some emotions better unleashed in session versus in your circle. Finally, be very good to yourself. You deserve it. There's nothing selfish in saying you're in it for you for a while. You are the priority and you've paid your dues to justify it.
If you ever just need to chat with someone who's been through the process feel free to message me through the TMF. I don't judge.
Many Blessings,
MidnightX