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Partners/SO's who don't "tickle back"

magic fingers

3rd Level Yellow Feather
Joined
Nov 24, 2001
Messages
3,711
Points
38
Have you ever been in a relationship where your partner is so opposed to tickling that they won't tickle you in retaliation when you tickle them? Being partially a male lee that's frustrating for me.
I can understand people not wanting to be tickled, but you'd think they wouldn't have a problem being the 'ler.
Also have ever noticed some couples where one person is the 'ler, and the other the 'lee, and seems reluctant to fight(tickle) back?
Traditionally, when there is tickling it always seems like the guy's 100% ler, the lady 100% lee, and she never strikes back, but I'm sure there've been relationships where the woman was the aggressor
 
It has definitely happened before when I've been involved with someone and even after I've tickled her silly she wouldn't tickle back. That usually isn't a big deal for me though because I'm naturally a ler. Actually, I have a friend coming over tomorrow who is 100% lee and not at all willing to ler and I couldn't be more excited. Of course, I'm hoping she'll go see the new Beauty and the Beast movie with me, so even if we don't play it's going to be awesome! :D
 
Have you ever been in a relationship where your partner is so opposed to tickling that they won't tickle you in retaliation when you tickle them? Being partially a male lee that's frustrating for me.
I can understand people not wanting to be tickled, but you'd think they wouldn't have a problem being the 'ler.
Also have ever noticed some couples where one person is the 'ler, and the other the 'lee, and seems reluctant to fight(tickle) back?
Traditionally, when there is tickling it always seems like the guy's 100% ler, the lady 100% lee, and she never strikes back, but I'm sure there've been relationships where the woman was the aggressor

I know that's a killjoy. When being playful it's a wonderful thing when the person you're with is playful back. If she/he/it does not respond in kind that means they are either highly annoyed or don't feel like you're someone they want to be playful around and they're sending a message (the later has been my category for life. Boo who on me).

MidnightX
 
I have to admit, I often don't tickle back. Some of that might be conditioning over the years... I've dated so many people who weren't ticklish at all, or who were substantially less ticklish than I was, that the pointlessness of tickling back became apparent early in the relationship; it just wasn't a winning strategy to combat the tickle-attack. So I become less and less inclined to try it, even from one relationship to the next.

But it does also seem like I'm just not wired that way... I'll give a quick tickle or two but it rarely occurs to me to seize an opportunity to really let someone have it...
 
I have to admit, I often don't tickle back. Some of that might be conditioning over the years... I've dated so many people who weren't ticklish at all, or who were substantially less ticklish than I was, that the pointlessness of tickling back became apparent early in the relationship; it just wasn't a winning strategy to combat the tickle-attack. So I become less and less inclined to try it, even from one relationship to the next.

But it does also seem like I'm just not wired that way... I'll give a quick tickle or two but it rarely occurs to me to seize an opportunity to really let someone have it...

You're lucky that you've dated women who at least like to tickle. Most of the women I've known have no interest in tickling, giving or receiving
 
Well....I've tickled the wife for the past 30 yrs, asking her to return the favor..... So far, no results. Hey, it happens.
 
But it does also seem like I'm just not wired that way... I'll give a quick tickle or two but it rarely occurs to me to seize an opportunity to really let someone have it...

:bwahaha: If that's how you're wired, we HAVE to meet up somehow! I'll definitely further enforce your "tickling does no good" mentality, if I ever get the chance :mwahaha: :devilish:
 
Of course if your "victim" is a natural Lee, not tickling back doesn't necessarily mean that she/he doesn't enjoy being tickled.

But I have known a girl who was not sure if she was a Ler or a switch. She definitely wasn't just a Lee. She was very ticklish, and when she got tickled, she curled up in submission and didn't tickle back. She wasn't opposed to tickling - far from it - but she seemed to have conflicted feelings about actually getting tickled. So when it happened, although she didn't react playfully, that didn't exactly mean she didn't want it to happen again. She was drawn to tickling of all kinds like a moth to a flame.
 
Im a lee. Dont like tickling people. Wont ever do it. Oh the hell well.
 
:bwahaha: If that's how you're wired, we HAVE to meet up somehow! I'll definitely further enforce your "tickling does no good" mentality, if I ever get the chance :mwahaha: :devilish:

Well, of course, I'll make an exception in the name of urgent self-preservation...
 
I'll tickle back if someone enjoys it. So far I've never had that happen! The person is either not ticklish or is very ticklish but hates it. My boyfriend is the latter. I can't get him for more than a few seconds, lol. But that's ok with me - I'm a lee anyway ^_^ It's one thing to not want to BE tickled because I get that it can be very uncomfortable if you absolutely hate it...but not DOING the tickling just seems kind of selfish if your partner just wants a little here and there.
 
I am slightly more of a 'lee, but I am a 'ler as well. Most of my past partners were never into tickling. Then I started dating my boyfriend 3 years ago who is open to the fetish, only to find that he sucks at tickling me. :/

At least I get to drive him nuts whenever I want, and he actually started getting hard ons from it now. So step one of perving is complete, but not the whole package.
 
While I've only had 1 significant other making my experience very limited, the one gf I have had didn't really tickle back, but she would instigate every now and then. I think part of why she hardly ever tickled back was because she wasn't very ticklish herself, except for one thing that I don't feel like mentioning, so when I tickled her she didn't feel much of a need to tickle back. She would tickle me first from time to time, although never for very long. Maybe a minute long once, but her hands would get tired.
 
In partners that haven't been exposed to the idea of a tickle fetish, I think it will depend on their nature. For example they might love you tickling them, taking control and making them laugh, but then find the idea of reducing you (their sexy macho man) to a fit of giggles relatively unattractive. Alternatively in might be in their nature to give as a good as they get and find a weakness in someone, some way they can get an upper hand, which might happen to be tickling, so in that case they would instinctively tickle back I guess.

For partners who are aware of your fetish, their nature will still have a large bearing on how they respond to being tickled and whether they naturally tickle back. Tickling is a hard thing to do if you're not really into it and can't find any enjoyment in it sexually or otherwise. It's not necessarily as simple as it seems, or as simple as other ways of indulging your partner's desires, such as dressing up or orgasm denial.


I've had one previous SO who would often tickle back, but this stemmed from her naturally playful personality and gameness to enter into any kind of playful fight/challenge, rather than a desire to indulge/explore tickling in the fetish sense.
She was not aware of my love for tickling as a stand alone fetish, only of my enjoyment of light tickling during foreplay and sex. She loved to laugh and was incredibly ticklish so to be honest her chances and desire to tickle back were often futile anyway if she was already being tickled.
But she did make the first tickle move at times, on me and on others, just because I think she had that playful, mischievous, 'game for a fight' kinda attitude to start with.

One SO, who I told of my fetish fairly early on, was not remotely interested in tickling back, I think this was partly because she was the opposite - did not have a particularly playful nature or a natural retaliation instinct to begin with, but also didn't really know what to make of the idea of tickling as a fetish, so even if I had asked her to tickle me back (at the time I wasn't that keen on being a lee) I think the whole idea would have been alien to her. She would just submit to the tickling (if in a good mood) or get irritated and tell me to back off (if in a bad mood).

The third SO was not ticklish herself so tickling back was not necessary.
 
I think teamtickleguy raises an interesting point -- the playful nature. I suspect that for some people they aren't so much "against" tickling as that tickling as a behavior is just something outside of their wheelhouse. Maybe they were exposed to tickling as children but haven't seen, heard, or thought of it since and perhaps is something that is only associated with the schoolyard. I wonder if people whom we would perceive as having a more playful nature would be more open to tickling?? This strikes a chord with me as I don't think I would characterize the women I have known as particularly "playful" -- at least in a tickling sense.

I've had two long term relationships and a few dating situations. In my long term relationships both SO's were aware of my foot and tickle kinks and I guess the best I could say is that they were maybe "neutral" to tickling. My ex-wife was somewhat open to tickling but, in retrospect, rather as the 'lee and not for very long (she hated her laugh and didn't like to be tickled for more than a few seconds at a time). She would tickle me on occasion but it would only be very brief and of the poke-your-side kind. My ex-girlfriend did not like to be tickled at all and I could occasionally get away with a brief tickle that she would be OK with. She was somewhat more willing to tickle me but it was of a similar poke at you for a second or two kind.

My dating experiences, so far, have yielded similar results encountering women who either weren't ticklish at all or who seemed to view tickling as something that only 6 year-olds do. Fingers crossed that I can find a 40-something woman who loves tickle-fights!
 
My boyfriend is my ler and I'm a lee, but I have on occasion tickled him too and we've had a few tickle fights. But I know he doesn't particularly like it, so I won't ever push it. It doesn't bother me though as it just means we both get more enjoyment out of tickling me.
 
It would be a very short term relationship if he did not get the hint... so far just one guy was oblivious. Recently wrote "tickle here" on my foot in red pen because my current lover sometimes misses "the spot."

its such an obvious question to me... if tickling is erotic, why would your lover not be expected to give what you give?
I make guys aroused with my fingers, lips and toes... its natural to expect some sexy teasing fun in return??

TTG
 
It would be a very short term relationship if he did not get the hint... so far just one guy was oblivious. Recently wrote "tickle here" on my foot in red pen because my current lover sometimes misses "the spot."

its such an obvious question to me... if tickling is erotic, why would your lover not be expected to give what you give?
I make guys aroused with my fingers, lips and toes... its natural to expect some sexy teasing fun in return??

TTG

TTG I wish could find a lady like you
 
Being into tickling doesn't necessarily make you a giver AND a receiver. Both sides are different and therefore, people tend to pick the one they like better OR embrace the whole thing (both sides).

For example, I am a 'lee and that is how I define myself. I rarely tickle others because... well, I just don't feel like it. Most people just pick whichever they like the most and stick to it.

If someone doesn't wanna tickle you alright, then you shouldn't be there. Go on and find someone who would, but don't put pressure on others or get upset about a particular someone who doesn't want to tickle back. I get it, it is frustrating and all but ... *shrug*.

Keep it consensual!

Rm
 
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