I would strongly recommend going to a marriage or sex counselor of some sort. Mostly, having someone you can talk with in person to work out hurdles would probably benefit you two the most.
If that isn’t an option I would fall back on finding a mutual friend you both know and trust very well, and if that’s not an option befriending someone on the TMF.
Mostly, I think that having another person to talk with, for both of you, in an open discussion would benefit the exchange a lot.
I am not a counselor, but I am going to offer my insights from here on:
First, it is clear to me that you both care about each other, and that you both value that you two care about each other. That is good.
I’m not sure why you (were?) hooked up on what your sexual interests were, or why revealing them to another was such an issue. To be fair, I think we’ve all been there, but my point here is that who you are is who you are, and who cares what other people think, you know? I have some slight concern that there’s a bit of self-acceptance issue(s) here with the male but I have a very limited understanding of both of you as individuals and the relationship as a whole. As such, and I should have said this earlier, feel free to disregard or correct me if I make a false assumption.
I have seen over the course of your threads the emphasis on feet. You enjoy tickling feet, she has pretty feet, she does not like having her feet tickled. I am curious as to how receptive she is to being tickled in other areas?
I do not have enough understanding of the situation, here, but I’m going to try to elaborate on what I think is happening. I do not know how you two interact when he is tickling her feet and I do not know the circumstances leading up to it. There is at least some indication in this post that there is, at least some, surprise tickling going on. People in other threads have mentioned taking it slowly and this seems counter to that, especially given she doesn’t enjoy it right now. I will elaborate on what other members have said: I recommend that the two of you talk about tickling her before it happens, every time. Be very, very clear as to what, when, how the tickling goes on. I would suggest talking about it, setting a time to perform the tickling, and being clear about the boundaries. In my mind I’m thinking, you know, some time after dinner, after she has had time to come home and relax, with the two of you on the couch and tickling her lightly for a few minutes, obviously respecting her telling you she needs a break or you’re tickling too much, whatever. Basically, communication, before and during.
I do want to say that, knowing she doesn’t like it but that she is also trying to work with you, surprise tickles are going to undo any progress you’ve made, at least in the early stages. Well, depending on their nature, anyway. It’s complicated and as I’m about to say:
I do not have enough of an idea of how you tickle her to really comment on how I would proceed. That is something I would need to be there for, honestly. I consider myself a skilled tickler, so maybe I could help if I saw how everything was going down, or at least provide insight? This, however, is why I would recommend a counselor, though, someone who is a paid professional and physically there to say, hey, you’re being a little rough. Of course a counselor won’t be a great tickler so you’re caught out in that regard. If you’re not already, I would recommend sticking to fingers, making sure your nails have been clipped recently, and using the tips of your fingers slowly and gently. Light tickling and hard tickling are not the same and I believe people tend to enjoy light tickling more, granted it isn’t the response a lot of ticklers are looking for, myself included. The most important thing, though, is that both of you are having fun: ideally you’re both laughing and having a good time. Anyway, starting slowly like this is my recommendation until tickling has grown on her.
My assumptions thus far are that tickling has remained an exclusive event between the two of you. I won’t talk in terrible detail here, but my experiences haven’t been so, hm, separate. I used to kiss a girl a lot while tickling her feet, or kiss her neck or play with her breasts, or a lot of other things. It probably won’t work well here, incorporating tickling into other sexual acts, as she doesn’t like having her feet tickled and that might sour the other events. On the other hand, I’ve had success mixing the two due to there being pleasure during the tickling. It doesn’t always work, but I think it’s worth considering.
I left the best for last, but: she doesn’t like having her feet tickled and I do not know why. What about having her feet tickled does she not like? What is she thinking when it is happening, and why does she find such distress in it? It is a difficult question to answer, why someone doesn’t like something, but I think it is something that she, and you, will have to understand fully in order to move on. Just keep thinking about it and finding what you don’t enjoy about it, and ask yourself why. Keep going further, asking why you don’t like that part of it, and so on, as best as you can. Typically I think it’s a control issue, though I am not assuming that is the case here. In the case of control as an example, though, what about the tickling would make her feel out of control, and why? Is it a lack of stopping what is going on with your body – usually not the case in a consensual setting, which is something that needs to be learned – or is it negative memories about not being in control in the past, or I don’t know I can’t think of a lot haha. Again, this is something I would have to speak with you two on a personal level about, in an actual conversation, which is why I would recommend a counselor. They should be much more skilled at this.
) but once in a wile I want to. You fellow foot tickle fetish people know how it is to all the sudden one day you crave the need to tickle feet and im.blessed with a gorgeous girl with perfect feet. I used to just watch videos and such online but that doesn't work for me anymore. I don't want to watch anyone else. I want to see her smile and hear her laugh. I don't know what to do so please any suggestions would be GREATLY appreciated!!
