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Boundary Issues Concerning Women

Exactly. Thats the question of the hour. If not most issues concerning the sexual rights of women. But lets stick to online rights and boundaries.
Just because I get someone off through my creativities... doesn't give anyone the right to more interactions with me or anyone. Male or Female.

And, as several have pointed out, you're supposed to expect/not be surprised/somehow feel lucky that you get the kind of attention that turns into this kind of unpleasantness.
 
I'm not saying to stop all interactions. I'm saying to think. What would your Grandma think of you?

If she'd be sad, angry or disappointed in you... time to rethink your actions going forward.
 
And, as several have pointed out, you're supposed to expect/not be surprised/somehow feel lucky that you get the kind of attention that turns into this kind of unpleasantness.

That though is a different issue... envy. Thats not necessarily a bad thing. Im not saying anyones envious of me. But... its fair to say that people can be. Not just of me... but anyone. That's fantasy as well. Justifiable or not.

I sometimes wish I could look like "Kelly Bundy". Sometimes I wish I had Andrea Ownbey's voice. We're allowed to be envious. All of us to at least a degree. A healthy degree.

And to desire someone.. I have a mile long list myself. lol

(Gina Gershon. Call me.)
 
the thing about white knighting is by the logic everybody's a knight, it's only a coat of armor that someone takes off. so you're adding to the amount of questionable Guyz.
 
I'm not saying to stop all interactions. I'm saying to think. What would your Grandma think of you?
If she'd be sad, angry or disappointed in you... time to rethink your actions going forward.

And, lemme guess...the time it takes to go from "OMG you're so awesome, so beautiful, so sweet, any guy would be lucky to have you (but don't tell my girlfriend..haha!)"
to them spewing every nasty thing they can think of is about as long as it takes you to say, "no".
 
the thing about white knighting is by the logic everybody's a knight, it's only a coat of armor that someone takes off. so you're adding to the amount of questionable Guyz.

So, do you mean 'white knighting' as the standard MRA reference about men only pretending to be nice to women, or to take their side, to curry favor with them?
 
And, lemme guess...the time it takes to go from "OMG you're so awesome, so beautiful, so sweet, any guy would be lucky to have you (but don't tell my girlfriend..haha!)"
to them spewing every nasty thing they can think of is about as long as it takes you to say, "no".

YES. YES. YES to the 1oth degree sadly YES.

A guy online one told me I deserved to be raped. Of course when my Boyfriend got online and confronted him... "He was just kidding".

Right. Thanks?
 
YES. YES. YES to the 1oth degree sadly YES.
A guy online one told me I deserved to be raped. Of course when my Boyfriend got online and confronted him... "He was just kidding".
Right. Thanks?

Oh, c'mon...who doesn't love a good rape joke?

As soon as you stop being titillating, then you're a (insert all kinds of words) who deserves (all kinds of bad things).
 
CD, you're great and I enjoy reading your stuff around here.

My advice is, be tougher. Be more selective with the people you talk to. Less exposure , more quality .
 
What I mean is cut the cord early to anyone who even remotely exhibits unpleasant behavior without having to worry about hurting feelings. Like Wolf said, if you're not an asshole, people on here will be able to tell pretty quickly. Will this limit your interactions? Sure, because there are plenty of people around here with virtually 0 information about them or how they behave(And probably a great amount of them are decent people, but you just don't know). I think aside from the assholes and non assholes you have a vast majority of unknowns. People you know nothing about that just pop up. I'd stay away from interacting privately with them until they demonstrate enough attractive qualities in the forum. It's tough to do , I know, but I feel for women in your position, it's the best route.
 
What I mean is cut the cord early to anyone who even remotely exhibits unpleasant behavior without having to worry about hurting feelings. Like Wolf said, if you're not an asshole, people on here will be able to tell pretty quickly. Will this limit your interactions? Sure, because there are plenty of people around here with virtually 0 information about them or how they behave(And probably a great amount of them are decent people, but you just don't know). I think aside from the assholes and non assholes you have a vast majority of unknowns. People you know nothing about that just pop up. I'd stay away from interacting privately with them until they demonstrate enough attractive qualities in the forum. It's tough to do , I know, but I feel for women in your position, it's the best route.

Ah ok. :)

I always look at peoples join date and post count. I try though to keep in mind that people are shy...

But yeah...that is one way to avoid some unpleasantries. There HAS to be llimits.
 
Oh, c'mon...who doesn't love a good rape joke?

As soon as you stop being titillating, then you're a (insert all kinds of words) who deserves (all kinds of bad things).

I've got a few stories that would make you literally sick to your stomach what some people have said to me. Those stories are from other forums I've been on. And no one here has come close to those types of stories. Thank goodness. I certainly have never forgotten them though. I wish I could. 7 years since... still haunts me. Horrific.
 
I've got a few stories that would make you literally sick to your stomach what some people have said to me. Those stories are from other forums I've been on. And no one here has come close to those types of stories. Thank goodness. I certainly have never forgotten them though. I wish I could. 7 years since... still haunts me. Horrific.

I wonder how many of those people considered themselves nice guys until you disappointed them?
Of course, they still considered themselves nice guys. If you had just been nice to them, see....
 
the thing about white knighting is by the logic everybody's a knight, it's only a coat of armor that someone takes off. so you're adding to the amount of questionable Guyz.


Yeah... that makes sense. Sometimes the coat once off reveals something much darker. Is that what yiu mean?
 
I wonder how many of those people considered themselves nice guys until you disappointed them?
Of course, they still considered themselves nice guys. If you had just been nice to them, see....

Oh yes... quite Gentlemanly one of them. But had a fixed "Alpha"... what he wanted you to believe. To see.

Inside of him?:

This guy told me he wanted to cover me in boiling hot spaghetti sauce... throw dry pasta on me and enjoy a beer while he enjoyed listening to me scream.

Some of you might find that amusing. I didn't.

I sent back a bland and polite... almost amused response...

...and left the forum.
 
Oh yes... quite Gentlemanly one of them. But had a fixed "Alpha"... what he wanted you to believe. To see.
Inside of him?:
This guy told me he wanted to cover me in boiling hot spaghetti sauce... throw dry pasta on me and enjoy a beer while he enjoyed listening to me scream.
Some of you might find that amusing. I didn't.

Never understood that, the whole desire to harm the people you desire (probably to punish them because you can't have them).
Of course, he probably wouldn't have the guts to actually speak to a woman in real life, because, you know...you're all so stuck up and mean to him.

You do understand that just telling you about that was a way of victimizing you, right? He actually got something out of it.
 
Never understood that, the whole desire to harm the people you desire (probably to punish them because you can't have them).
Of course, he probably wouldn't have the guts to actually speak to a woman in real life, because, you know...you're all so stuck up and mean to him.

You do understand that just telling you about that was a way of victimizing you, right? He actually got something out of it.

I'll never what to think about that guy ultimately. I remember he was in his 60's. Maybe a lifetime of anger towards women or people in general built up... I don't know.
 
I'll never what to think about that guy ultimately. I remember he was in his 60's. Maybe a lifetime of anger towards women or people in general built up... I don't know.

A lifetime of repression will do that to people. I've seen it with some people here before. They're not as violent, though. Just creepy and desperately inappropriate.
 
A lifetime of repression will do that to people. I've seen it with some people here before. They're not as violent, though. Just creepy and desperately inappropriate.

Mhm. I've seen it a few times myself. Online... and in person.

I can't always claim to have a good read on people... sometimes I'm quite blind. Thank goodness my Boyfriend helps me make judgement calls.

And here. Lots of eye opening and interesting conversations going on amongst us.

Something to keep in mind as well... :)

Time for some retail therapy. ;) :)
 
So, do you mean 'white knighting' as the standard MRA reference about men only pretending to be nice to women, or to take their side, to curry favor with them?

I'll go with urban dictionary's "2) A man who Promotes gender equality but practices special privilege for women ."......because that's a lot like what you do when you go "everybody's equal!" and then go starting arguments with almost every guy. now MRA....they're a little wild. at a certain point it's female centric (stereotypical) feminism but in the opposite direction. MGTOW was an interesting idea until it became dramatized and flooded with MRA idiocy. the thing that gets me is whenever misogyny is brought up but nobody thinks if it's the consequential kind (the dominating kind) or true misogyny (rare, I think). equality "should" be "equal" no matter what, but yet we have this natural flow between men and women (rapport) of heightened interaction and attentiveness where the average guy just competes with one another or compares in topics of conversation. which is not "equal" any way you cut it. but act accordingly and you still get judged as being insensitive.

Yeah... that makes sense. Sometimes the coat once off reveals something much darker. Is that what yiu mean?

Well white knights want somebody to rescue.....no matter what, right? it just sounds funny. what I posted above I think outlines plenty.
 
I'll go with urban dictionary's "2) A man who Promotes gender equality but practices special privilege for women ."......because that's a lot like what you do when you go "everybody's equal!" and then go starting arguments with almost every guy. now MRA....they're a little wild. at a certain point it's female centric (stereotypical) feminism but in the opposite direction. MGTOW was an interesting idea until it became dramatized and flooded with MRA idiocy. the thing that gets me is whenever misogyny is brought up but nobody thinks if it's the consequential kind (the dominating kind) or true misogyny (rare, I think). equality "should" be "equal" no matter what, but yet we have this natural flow between men and women (rapport) of heightened interaction and attentiveness where the average guy just competes with one another or compares in topics of conversation. which is not "equal" any way you cut it. but act accordingly and you still get judged as being insensitive.

Since CD has stepped out, I'll go ahead and address this latest, yet, completely unremarkable salvo.

I do tend to take the side of the women when arguing on the TMF. You know why? Because when arguing about male/female dynamics, they're usually right, and guys like you are just being whiny, bitter, self-indulgent, all-these-women-are-bitches-who-don't-see-I'm-a-sensitive-wonderful-guy-so-it's-not-my-fault-I'm-alone crybabies. Goddammit, there's reason most of you guys are single, and it's not the fucking fetish. But anyone who tries to tell you that is just sucking up to the womenz. I tried to help you. Everyone saw how much I tried.

You want to be an asshole, and tell it like it is, and you think you're just being honest, just an average guy, calling it like he sees it. And their lack of response to your particular style of interaction means they just don't get it.

Also, sorry, but I like women. I don't see them as adversaries. I've gotten to know them. Lots of them. I'm just one of those people they seem to like to talk to. Not in the way you think, of course. I am far from attractive. I look like God took Tony Soprano, made him Irish, and then took his giant, godly hand and pressed down, with a big :SQUISH:. But I could be sitting at a table on break at my last workplace, and the most adorable girl would come up, someone I barely knew, and she'd start talking to me at length about her troubles with her girlfriend. Happened to me all the time. Also, I kept a dish of mini chocolate bars at my desk. Got a lot of visitors.

"Special Privilege for women"? Fuck you. It's pathetic that you think people would only argue against your "points" except to curry favor. I'm not the one sending PMs to women on the forum and wondering why they stop talking to you after a while.

The only privilege they have here is being the few among many. It's not their fault or a special privilege that you're one of thousands trying and failing to make some progress in this incredibly limited venue.

You think true misogyny is rare? Ask a woman.
 
Tell me how you really feel. lol.

you only reinforce what I've said.

"You want to be an asshole, and tell it like it is, and you think you're just being honest, just an average guy, calling it like he sees it. And their lack of response to your particular style of interaction means they just don't get it."

maybe. but I'm not trying to earn Brownie points like you. I'm giving everybody a shot to just be real and let them be exactly as THEY CHOOSE to be. I don't message anyone. matter of fact. ...last message to Doll was about her laptop! that's over a year ago at this point, genius. you think you're a nice guy but you're trying to take credit where there should be none. how nice is that? really.
 
but you're trying to take credit where there should be none. how nice is that? really.

There should be credit given for fighting the under-the-rug narrative that reads "woman, you brought this on yourself by being hot,nice and engaging on this website"
 
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