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Boundary Issues Concerning Women

Oh... and this person also stated basically: (And I am summarizing.)

"I didn't do anything wrong by asking you to share your fantasies with me. That's what this board is for."

I agree. He caught me though on the wrong day. Could I have been less abrupt... less rude? Yes. But... I share my fantasies and stories ON THE FORUM. As I said... you can share with me all of your sexy fantasies... (Be prepared that I might not find them sexy though. I might find them distasteful if not yucky. We all have slightly different fantasies. Some extremely different.) BUT... I never said I had or would SHARE MINE BACK. Aren't I doing that already on the forum itself?

Yes. Yes I am.

Engaging most people here in private into my fantasies is not something I can do. Too much writing... too many people. I write mine out through my writings, audios, stories, and photos. And I talk about them in the Main Room Chat. Not pc. Main Room Chat.

Theres 24hrs in a day. I sleep for 4, 6, or 8 hours. 6 for my Boyfriend. 1-3 for chores. 2 for cooking and eating. Makeup and getting dressed up can take two hours or more. So... start counting how much I have left every day.

I spend the rest here usually or surfing online. And any variant of my day of where I place my time can vary.
 
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CapturedDoll said:
Oh... and this person also stated basically: (And I am summarizing.)
"I didn't do anything wrong by asking you to share your fantasies with me. That's what this board is for."
I agree. He caught me though on the wrong day. Could I have been less abrupt... less rude? Yes. But... I share my fantasies and stories ON THE FORUM. As I said... you can share with me all of your sexy fantasies... (Be prepared that I might not find them sexy though. I might find them distasteful if not yucky. We all have slightly different fantasies. Some extremely different.) BUT... I never said I had or would SHARE MINE BACK. Aren't I doing that already on the forum itself?
Yes. Yes I am.
Engaging most people here in private into my fantasies is not something I can do. Too much writing... too many people. I write mine out through my writings, audios, stories, and photos. And I talk about them in the Main Room Chat. Not pc. Main Room Chat.
Theres 24hrs in a day. I sleep for 4, 6, or 8 hours. 6 for my Boyfriend. 1-3 for chores. 2 for cooking and eating. Makeup and getting dressed up can take two hours or more. So... start counting how much I have left every day.
I spend the rest here usually or surfing online. And any variant of my day of where I place my time can vary.
Click to expand...

Isn't it amazing how quickly "happy and horny" turns into "vicious and butt-hurt" once you say the wrong thing?
The wrong thing being, "No"?
 
Wolf said:
Isn't it amazing how quickly "happy and horny" turns into "vicious and butt-hurt" once you say the wrong thing?
The wrong thing being, "No"?
Click to expand...

YEAH...

It sucks because I think people expect me to always be nice. I ended that particular letter on a nice note (I feel.) the other day. But because I said (And Im summarizing.) I don't want to. I don't feel like talking about my fantasies. Please stop being pushy. Do you realize how many questions like this I receive? But thanks I'll take you up on your offer for advice in this particular area in the future if I need it." Smiley face.

I was blunt. I was curt. He says I was rude. I even apologized today just to show I'm not trying to be a jerk!! Food for Thought: Maybe I was just a rude jerk that one particular day. Cause something might be wrong. You know. Life stuff? Or maybe cuz x+z= WHATEVER.

No one is nice 24/7. AND I USUALLY AM NICE. I'm into Bimbofication for crying out loud! But I have all kinds of days. Good bad, and everything in between.

HUMAN.
 
If I can add my own two cents (even though this already seems to be going smoothly):
Talking to people online is difficult. Usually we have to sound super happy and excited (lots of exclamation points, for example) to let people know we're friendly. If we add a period instead, we're being "serious". Or in some cases come off as 'rude' or 'curt'. Plus, can't get tone of voice over internet. Also, in a place like this, men really do feel entitled to their fantasies, and having women super nice and accommodating.

You're one person, you get tired, that's understandable. And like you, I'm also a people pleaser. I don't like to tell people "no" very often cuz I'm afraid I'll hurt their feelings. Even when I feel uncomfortable. So, from one anxiety-ridden person to another who has learned the hard way, let me just tell you:

People will make you feel bad even IF YOU ARE THE KINDEST, SWEETEST PERSON IN THE WORLD. I'm not exaggerating, I mean even if you cater to people and follow their every whim, they will STILL try to find some fault in you. People can't take disappointment anymore, and we live in a culture that is increasingly demanding narcissism and self fulfillment and instant gratification. I know I can't tell you to "not worry about it" because you will, (I know from experience), but when you find yourself feeling that way, try to take the time to remember that it is impossible to fulfill every demand. It is NOT a reflection of you as a person. I know this isn't something that happens over night, but you shouldn't have to feel so awful for telling people to back off. It is their fault for having a lack of patience and understanding. You are not responsible for coddling their feelings. You did not insult them, or bear actual ill will toward them.

Of course you already know all this now. Just try to remember that last part for the future juuuuuust in case this needs to happen again.
 
Wolf said:
Isn't it amazing how quickly "happy and horny" turns into "vicious and butt-hurt" once you say the wrong thing?
The wrong thing being, "No"?
Click to expand...

Makes me think of one of my favorite quotes from one of my favorite movies(Note I am not saying capturedDoll is a whore.):
Mimi: "Maybe I really am a whore, every so often someone tells me so. But the strange thing is, they call me that only when I've said no or when I've stopped saying yes. Isn't that funny?"
-The Libertine 1969(An Italian film)
 
Thank you Demi. Wise words. You understand me. :) I take your words to heart.

If you knew how much time I spent figuring out my puncutation to translate my reactions and thoughts naturally... virtually? Omg... but everyone has their own ways... it's really tiresome. I enjoy it but its taxing and tiresome when I don't have the energy. But I want my message to have that caring behind it always. I DO CARE.

Can't emoji all the time though. And your right I also can't apologize sometimes. But I will when I'm wrong. Even when I'm half wrong. I do believe in personnal responsibility.

My Bf has helped me- and actually the chat room has helped strengthen a lot of my social skills funny enough. Tickling has still been hard for me to vocalize for in my relationship. And... amongst other issues.


PorcelainDoll- Exactly Fitting~ I get what you mean totally. :)
 
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You know Doll, you are experiencing what so many women experience here. You did nothing wrong. You are being a normal human being. The problem is, a to of guys have ZERO idea on how to treat another human being, let alone a woman. They lack social skills. As though it is impossible for them to treat another person with respect. It is a reason why so many women leave the forum. I guess people just can't control themselves, which explains why they have difficulty with just normal relationships with people.

I appreciate everything you do on the forum. You are a pretty cool person. I just wish more guys had some semblance of respect for another human being just trying to enjoy herself on this forum.
 
primetime said:
You know Doll, you are experiencing what so many women experience here. You did nothing wrong. You are being a normal human being. The problem is, a to of guys have ZERO idea on how to treat another human being, let alone a woman. They lack social skills. As though it is impossible for them to treat another person with respect. It is a reason why so many women leave the forum. I guess people just can't control themselves, which explains why they have difficulty with just normal relationships with people.

I appreciate everything you do on the forum. You are a pretty cool person. I just wish more guys had some semblance of respect for another human being just trying to enjoy herself on this forum.
Click to expand...

Thank you Prime. That means a lot coming from you.

I know in my heart its not just this forum. It's everywhere. Idk if that will ever change. Thank you. :)

My Bf just lightened me up by repeating a meme.

"I sometimes feel offended by American stereotypes. But then I remembered we had a nationwide panic over twinkies."

I guess we women could be considered Twinkies. :laughhard: I hope not but... there IS a shortage... I know this.
 
Captured - just read this whole thread, and can't say it's all sunk in. BUT, I get the idea that you are being bombarded by knumbskulls. I can remember when you first showed up.....WOW - just what us guys wanted. So, of course,what do most do? (You know the answer to that). To be sure, I've enjoyed your postings... the kinda gal I've always wanted to meet (don't tell the wife......). And, you may be a blonde, but in other posts you have shown some smarts, some real life things. I respect that. Kinda why i haven't posted many replies lately. Anywho, keep on keepin on gal......
 
So should women start harassing you here to give you a break from all the Y-chromosome incompetence? JOKING!! JOKING!!!! SO sorry you've felt such harassment from idiots on this site. :(
Aside from seeming like an unnamed "celebrity" here, with how widely-known in a positive sense your username persona is here, I don't think I've read a post I've seen as hurtful or negative.

With communication being over 90% non-verbal, relying largely on text (solely if one doesn't listen to your soundcloud links) it seems only a matter of time before someone misinterprets something you've written as hurtful. Despite your continued actions confirming pain was never your intention.

Take it or leave it, but I'm praying for you, "Doll". That you'll stay strong and only get better, overcoming the idjits that can't keep away from your awesomeness.

Thank you for sharing your struggles here (we revel in all your highs you share with us! ;) ). I hope we can help lighten your load, if at all. You're awesome Doll. Don't let anyone - including yourself! - tell you otherwise!

You're human. Sorry if this is news to you, but you're not perfect. No one is. Stop demanding perfect standards of yourself, okay? Though you likely won't stop such unreasonable goals, try to remind yourself you're only in control of yourself, okay? So that's the ONLY person who ultimately matters. Despite what you do - or don't do - you can only control yourself and how you react. If someone else doesn't like that, nuts to them. They're not you and ONLY you have to deal with you!

Now get back to your crazy stuff, or chill. Whatever. You do you. You're awesome, all right?!
 
I feel like you just spoke the minds of every woman who's been barraged. The biggest key being, let them know who you are, but more importantly, find out who they are and what they're interested in.

We're not all going to get along, and trying to force the issue just sends good people off this site. Many times for good.
 
The phrase "Victim of your success" springs to mind. Please do not get this the wrong way: I sympathize with your plight. But in a way, it shows how much you rock this forum. It is not your fault if people are stupid, insensitive or psychotic; but those hardly prey on their own kind now do they? They shoot for the top. In a way, you remind me of those stars who get stalked by crazy fans. You must be the TMF's equivalent of Marilyn Monroe ;) And just like hers, your "fans" will have to get a life.

Nothing much else to add to this thread: a lot has been said already. I just wish we could do more to help you, besides expressing our support and sympathy in the form of cute animated smileys :Kiss2: :console:

CapturedDoll said:
My Bf just lightened me up by repeating a meme.

"I sometimes feel offended by American stereotypes. But then I remembered we had a nationwide panic over twinkies."
Click to expand...

Lol this one really cracked me up :laughhard: Although in my opinion what you are experiencing has more to do with the Internet and less with your nationality; stupidity is by far the most evenly distributed commodity in the world, regardless of race, gender or culture. Besides, it could be much worse: you could be French :blaugh:
 
I heard girls complain that those besieging them chat so rigidly that one can imagine they all follow one issue of dork’s question manual. Well, ask Google to write a script “sexy girl online”, and they’ll barely notice the substitution of the person they are talking to.

I only wonder, if other kinky-sex communities – BDSM, fetishists of al kind etc. – display the same pressure of female members’ harassment and driving them to tears, or ours is the champion?
 
Like I've reiterated multiple times a few smelly assholes stink everything up for everyone else. ... sorry to hear of your bad luck, Doll.
 
Ickis said:
I heard girls complain that those besieging them chat so rigidly that one can imagine they all follow one issue of dork’s question manual. Well, ask Google to write a script “sexy girl online”, and they’ll barely notice the substitution of the person they are talking to.
Click to expand...


THIS is what concerns me.

One day early last year.... I was sitting in the chat room. And a pc message (while I had my computer) came up.

Something like this was said by this man "I'm waiting in my car to come in and grab you".

Now... I thought he was trying to start an rp. (I was ALL ABOUT rping early last year.) So... I for a second was all turned on and thrilled. But rather than jump in I said hi.

"Hi..." :)

His response?

"UHHHHHH.... EMOTICONS."

And left.

I called him out in main after being COMPLETELY stunned... After a minute I said "Hey "XXXX" Sorry if my use of my emoticon offended you. Next try try asking me first if even WANT to pc at ALL".

A month later.... another pop up from him. "Hey..."

( I ignore him.)

2 months later "Hi I wanna kidnap you... and.... etc"

(I ignore him again.)]

Both times in main I tell him to leave me alone rather than in pc directly. This serves as a hint to other people this guy is an idiot.

This guy obviously is playing the numbers game. Keep pcing every woman or person until someone responds. It's so lame.

So many here are serious in wanting to connect with someone.

People who are shy.
People who are lonely.
People who are ashamed of this.
People who are aging.
People who just lost loved ones.

On and on.

We all have one reason that unites us. But we all have multiple reasons that make us WHO WE ARE.

PLEASE GUYS.... take a class in manners. NOT FROM THE RED PILL COMMUNITY. NOT FROM THE PICKUP ARTIST COMMUNITY. NOT FROM YOUR BROS WHO JUST WANNA SCORE.

FROM YOUR GRANDMA.
 
Along with what the dude is saying, above....don't let a few idiots ruin it for a lot of guys here. I do sympathize with your plight CD, but I'm also seeing a lot of posts from others saying that a lot, or the implied majority, of guys around here are insensitive, social skill lacking, narcissists. That is not the case as far as I'm concerned and it frankly pisses me off when others make such blanket generalizations that most guys here are only in it for their own horny self gratification. There are a lot of us "good guys" here and it's an insult to all of us when someone makes such a gross generalization based off the actions of some idiots.
 
sadi said:
So should women start harassing you here to give you a break from all the Y-chromosome incompetence? JOKING!! JOKING!!!! SO sorry you've felt such harassment from idiots on this site. :(
Aside from seeming like an unnamed "celebrity" here, with how widely-known in a positive sense your username persona is here, I don't think I've read a post I've seen as hurtful or negative.

With communication being over 90% non-verbal, relying largely on text (solely if one doesn't listen to your soundcloud links) it seems only a matter of time before someone misinterprets something you've written as hurtful. Despite your continued actions confirming pain was never your intention.

Take it or leave it, but I'm praying for you, "Doll". That you'll stay strong and only get better, overcoming the idjits that can't keep away from your awesomeness.

Thank you for sharing your struggles here (we revel in all your highs you share with us! ;) ). I hope we can help lighten your load, if at all. You're awesome Doll. Don't let anyone - including yourself! - tell you otherwise!

You're human. Sorry if this is news to you, but you're not perfect. No one is. Stop demanding perfect standards of yourself, okay? Though you likely won't stop such unreasonable goals, try to remind yourself you're only in control of yourself, okay? So that's the ONLY person who ultimately matters. Despite what you do - or don't do - you can only control yourself and how you react. If someone else doesn't like that, nuts to them. They're not you and ONLY you have to deal with you!

Now get back to your crazy stuff, or chill. Whatever. You do you. You're awesome, all right?!
Click to expand...

Thank you Sadi. Wise words :) It had just been a dog pile of one crappy situation after another. I don't think I'm perfect. Not by a long shot.

My Bf use to say I spent too much time here. But... as a house wifey (not married yet) this is my relaxation place. And had been throughout many years. Bound to happen I guess.
 
kevin_kidnapped said:
Along with what the dude is saying, above....don't let a few idiots ruin it for a lot of guys here. I do sympathize with your plight CD, but I'm also seeing a lot of posts from others saying that a lot, or the implied majority, of guys around here are insensitive, social skill lacking, narcissists. That is not the case as far as I'm concerned and it frankly pisses me off when others make such blanket generalizations that most guys here are only in it for their own horny self gratification. There are a lot of us "good guys" here and it's an insult to all of us when someone makes such a gross generalization based off the actions of some idiots.
Click to expand...


No that's why I said in my first post 90% of men and women here are gems. I still feel that way. :)

I did though expect a lot of shit for this thread. But, I'm happily and gratefully surprised. :)
 
kevin_kidnapped said:
Along with what the dude is saying, above....don't let a few idiots ruin it for a lot of guys here. I do sympathize with your plight CD, but I'm also seeing a lot of posts from others saying that a lot, or the implied majority, of guys around here are insensitive, social skill lacking, narcissists. That is not the case as far as I'm concerned and it frankly pisses me off when others make such blanket generalizations that most guys here are only in it for their own horny self gratification. There are a lot of us "good guys" here and it's an insult to all of us when someone makes such a gross generalization based off the actions of some idiots.
Click to expand...

Glad you're focused on the real victims here.
 
Tenebrae said:
The phrase "Victim of your success" springs to mind. Please do not get this the wrong way: I sympathize with your plight. But in a way, it shows how much you rock this forum. It is not your fault if people are stupid, insensitive or psychotic; but those hardly prey on their own kind now do they? They shoot for the top. In a way, you remind me of those stars who get stalked by crazy fans. You must be the TMF's equivalent of Marilyn Monroe ;) And just like hers, your "fans" will have to get a life.

Nothing much else to add to this thread: a lot has been said already. I just wish we could do more to help you, besides expressing our support and sympathy in the form of cute animated smileys :Kiss2: :console:



Lol this one really cracked me up :laughhard: Although in my opinion what you are experiencing has more to do with the Internet and less with your nationality; stupidity is by far the most evenly distributed commodity in the world, regardless of race, gender or culture. Besides, it could be much worse: you could be French :blaugh:
Click to expand...

Well it was more the sentiment nothing to do with American. ;)

Victim of my success? Haha maybe. I always looked at my threads as successful in the sense so many enjoyed them. At least interested enough to view them. Or how I feel as a Ler or lee. My Ticklish views. In this sense having a bad week or bad/ annoying moments from time to time is a small price to pay.

I held back starting this thread. But... I really just wanted women to feel like they had a place to vent their concerns. And I felt it should be ok to voice mine. It IS ok. And unlike Marilyn... I'm not going to go off and overdose myself. I'm handling it with a thread.
 
Wolf said:
Glad you're focused on the real victims here.
Click to expand...

Well look. I can see his side in that wanting to make sure the good people aren't put into the same category. Making sure to differentiate the difference. That's alright. :)

But, yeah I am in NO WAY talking about every man. I read along just like you Kevin. And I think the frustration may SEEM like a blanket. But it's not.
 
CapturedDoll said:
Well it was more the sentiment nothing to do with American. ;)

Victim of my success? Haha maybe. I always looked at my threads as successful in the sense so many enjoyed them. At least interested enough to view them. Or how I feel as a Ler or lee. My Ticklish views. In this sense having a bad week or bad/ annoying moments from time to time is a small price to pay.

I held back starting this thread. But... I really just wanted women to feel like they had a place to vent their concerns. And I felt it should be ok to voice mine. It IS ok. And unlike Marilyn... I'm not going to go off and overdose myself. I'm handling it with a thread.
Click to expand...

People keep making these specious comparisons between you and movie stars, the Kardashians, etc...ignoring one critical fact:
Those people intended on becoming famous, so, there would be some reason to expect the attention they got, positive and negative.
You were just trying to be a positive part of the community.
 
CapturedDoll said:
Well look. I can see his side in that wanting to make sure the good people aren't put into the same category. Making sure to differentiate the difference. That's alright. :) But, yeah I am in NO WAY talking about every man. I read along just like you Kevin. And I think the frustration may SEEM like a blanket. But it's not.
Click to expand...

Of course you're not talking about every man. You've made that clear.
I just don't see the need for self-described nice guys to insist people make sure they're recognized and have it pointed out that they're not being assholes.
How about just not being an asshole, and other people will see that?

I"m reading along, too...but what I'm reading is starting to annoy me.
I see a lot of people telling you things to be complimentary, like "this is to be expected, you're so popular"... and there's a subtle but dark undercurrent to that kind of logic that I'm sure you're aware of.
 
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