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Tickling in situations like NEST

matt62

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In another thread about preferences for tickling in public or in private, the example of NEST came up. I have never been to one, and feel I would never be able to. To me it feels too public; I am definitely a private tickler. Some people regard situations like NEST to be semi-private because they feel they are among friends and like-minded souls, but I would struggle even with that.

I'm interested: How does tickling work for people in NEST and equivalent situations if tickling for you is basically sexual and a very intimate activity? To like NEST do you have to see tickling more as a platonic and friendly bonding thing?
 
There is both entirely private tickling in individual hotel rooms (any time you and a consenting partner wish) and public tickling in the common play space (at the appropriate times). Nobody is obliged to do either.
 
As Milagros said, Nest offers opportunities for both. You can partake in whatever you like as long as it's with a consenting partner(s). Communication is the important thing.
 
In another thread about preferences for tickling in public or in private, the example of NEST came up. I have never been to one, and feel I would never be able to. To me it feels too public; I am definitely a private tickler. Some people regard situations like NEST to be semi-private because they feel they are among friends and like-minded souls, but I would struggle even with that.

I'm interested: How does tickling work for people in NEST and equivalent situations if tickling for you is basically sexual and a very intimate activity? To like NEST do you have to see tickling more as a platonic and friendly bonding thing?

Since youve never been to NEST, you probably have some preconceived notions about it. NEST is not public. It is held in a hotel and all play is either in individual's rooms or in the main space which is secured off from anyone not part of NEST. You have to ask to touch people or join in on a scene.
 
Thanks for the clarifications so far. They lead me to ask a follow-on question that maybe is related to the original one:

If people don't already know each other well before a gathering like NEST, do they really need to be the "tickling is a light and friendly bonding thing" types to fit in successfully? This is so different from me, not just with tickling but with sex and the emotional side of life generally. I'm starting to wonder if my more intense attitude to tickling is more uncommon than I thought. I don't mean humourless or heavy (I hope), but - profound and powerful and intimate, certainly.
 
Thanks for the clarifications so far. They lead me to ask a follow-on question that maybe is related to the original one:

If people don't already know each other well before a gathering like NEST, do they really need to be the "tickling is a light and friendly bonding thing" types to fit in successfully? This is so different from me, not just with tickling but with sex and the emotional side of life generally. I'm starting to wonder if my more intense attitude to tickling is more uncommon than I thought. I don't mean humourless or heavy (I hope), but - profound and powerful and intimate, certainly.

I couldn't presume to speak for someone else, or how they would experience a particular situation, but I can tell you about mine, and it may shed some light. Or not lol.

Years ago before my first NEST, there was a community of folk in California who would meet up and at times have play parties. Not always, sometimes there would just be social gatherings or "munches". In any event, when I made contact with a regular attendee (a woman at that), who was more than welcoming and inviting me, you can imagine I was flush with a mixture of excitement AND semi-horror. As she described the most recent tickle scene, I couldn't help but imagine myself having a turn at this tied-up ticklish woman. I also couldn't fathom how I could allow myself to be in that situation, because it would be thoroughly erotic! I'm gonna pop wood in a room full of strangers! How could I not? It was the single most erotic thing I could think of at that time.

Eventually, a play party date is set. And I'm going to be in attendance. Despite my trepidation, I can't NOT go! I should mention that I've always been a private and 1 on 1 type of person, so this play party is not only out of my tickle play lane, but also a bit out of my social lane as well. The party convenes, starting out with a meal and some conversation. Next, the play begins. When the lady is tied spread-eagle to the bed, I'm invited to a spot and my hands begin to tickle. And a strange thing happened: there was zero sexual energy. Zero! So what happened? Well it wasn't completely clear at the time, but after a few more parties where the exact same thing occurred, it started to become a bit more clear to me. Up until that point, I had never tickled a woman I wasn't flirting with or sharing some other kind of intimate moment. In my mind "tickling girls" = "sexual turn on". There was no separation of the two, also, all of my tickling fantasies were of a sexual nature.

I had never been exposed to tickling in an atmosphere which wasn't "sexual", which I know sounds funny because tickling is sexual right? Well I found something out about myself. My preference is still private 1 on 1, but what I discovered, is for me, the sexual feelings are not dictated by tickling itself, but rather the individual. Conversely, since I'm much more of a private person, the group setting automatically makes arousal a virtual impossibility regardless of whom I'm playing with. So all of that was to say, that when it comes to NEST (or any group/large group setting) it was not a problem for me to play in that setting. The play has ranged from light/playful to more intense. Usually with women I've known prior to the event, but not always. The real secret to NEST and any other place - it's more about the connection(s) you make with the people. The play comes, but even then it only reinforces and strengthens those connections which have already been made. It's a bit hard to explain - though practically all NESTers know what I'm referencing - but it's just how it works itself out.

Certainly though, your attitude towards tickling isn't unique or uncommon at all.
 
Thanks Terorizer. You describe very well my own position. Your experience is very illuminating to me and the way it worked out makes sense, and so do your conclusions about what it means.
 
Your experience is very illuminating to me and the way it worked out makes sense, and so do your conclusions about what it means.

I concur. I had a very similar experience to @terorizer's at my first NEST. Going into it I was very apprehensive as like others here I viewed tickling as an entirely sexual, one-on-one experience, as well as being a highly private person too. As an adult, the only woman I had ever tickled (except for one brief encounter) was my late wife, and that in some pretty intense D/s scenes between us. At NEST my overpowering shyness and sense of inferiority made it very difficult to connect with others there, so not only did I not get to engage in any "private" play but during the open play party I sat entirely alone, trying not to let myself appear too "stimulated" by all the scenes of women being strapped to bondage devices and tickled into hysterics, sometimes inches from where I sat.

I must have begun to look so pitiably forlorn that eventually two of the "dungeon masters" came up to me and asked if I would like to participate in a scene with a young woman who wanted to be tied to a cot and tickled by three other woman and a man. I must have seemed non-threatening enough to fit the role, so after a brief negotiation with the lady, the scene started, and like terorizer experienced, even though I "dug" right in and did what I thought was my best (which I was sure looked totally farcical to all the seasoned ticklers in the room), I experienced no sexual thrill at all.

I'd chalked that up to performance anxiety, having never done any such thing in public before, but I'm warming to terorizer's explanation now; since I didn't know this woman well and besides, with three other people going down (in the tickling sense, though they later "finished her off" with a Hitachi too--out of my presence as the lady desired it) on her at the same time, it was hardly intimate at all. Terorizer puts it so well:

Well I found something out about myself. My preference is still private 1 on 1, but what I discovered, is for me, the sexual feelings are not dictated by tickling itself, but rather the individual. Conversely, since I'm much more of a private person, the group setting automatically makes arousal a virtual impossibility regardless of whom I'm playing with . . .


The real secret to NEST and any other place - it's more about the connection(s) you make with the people. The play comes, but even then it only reinforces and strengthens those connections which have already been made. It's a bit hard to explain - though practically all NESTers know what I'm referencing - but it's just how it works itself out.

So agree. The reason I find the nerve from God knows where to actually go to NESTs and other gatherings (which are "out of my tickle play lane," in terorizer's words) is to try to make RL connections to supplement my online ones, but at which I've still largely failed. But I'm confident I'm in the right lane for me--naturally, the humble, law-abiding slowpokes' lane. All power to those who want to drive in the fast lane, but that just ain't for me.
 
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Thanks for your confirmation of the same line of thought, Nedstacey2. This is all speaking to me. Nice to know I'm not alone.
 
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