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Girlfriend not into tickling

J

Jerzeys23

TMF Poster
Joined
May 7, 2010
Messages
124
Points
0
My girl hates being tickled. She's very ticklish but won't allow it period. We're very serious, too serious to break up. I love her but it's so hard that she won't let me indulge ever. What should I do?


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Do you want to spend the rest of your life sexually frustrated?
 
Wolf said:
Do you want to spend the rest of your life sexually frustrated?
Click to expand...

This and is she open to the idea of you tickling others since she doesn't allow it? I guess more importantly does she know how much you enjoy it?

I am a switch that loves to tickle and my husband is very ticklish, but he is strictly a ler due to hating it. We're in an open marriage, so I look for others to tickle.
 
Jerzeys23 said:
My girl hates being tickled. She's very ticklish but won't allow it period. We're very serious, too serious to break up. I love her but it's so hard that she won't let me indulge ever. What should I do?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Click to expand...
Let her stretch you out and tickle the bejeebers out of you, maybe she will start to understand why you want to tickle her and be more understanding.

Sent from my LG-H910 using Tapatalk
 
Jerzeys23 said:
My girl hates being tickled. She's very ticklish but won't allow it period. We're very serious, too serious to break up. I love her but it's so hard that she won't let me indulge ever. What should I do?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Click to expand...

If you knew she hated being tickled, why didn't you end the relationship before it got too serious? I know you love her, but you're denying a huge part of your sexual pleasure. If you marry her, and she refuses to even consider an occasional tickle, you're going to be miserable. I've tried to make it work w/vanilla women who hate tickling, but I was just fooling myself, and it wasn't fair to either of us.
 
If you two are serious, then you need to be able to have a serious discussion about your mutual sexual needs and desires. Try to find out WHY she hates being tickled. Did she have bad experiences with it growing up? If she did, explain how the tickling you want to do with her is different. Tell her how you/re not doing it to be abusive, you're just trying to push boundaries with her and stuff like that. Tell her the things about tickling that turn you on. You need to get to the bottom of the issues she has with tickling and you need to make her understand what tickling means to you.

And if you still can't convince her, you have to face the fact that she isn't the one for you. You may love her, but if you marry her, one of your critical needs will not be fulfilled with her. Do you really want to have to look outside your marriage to satisfy your desires? Life will throw a lot of temptations at you, and when a critical need of yours is not being fulfilled, those temptations will be much harder to resist.

Breakups are painful, but they are nowhere near as bad as a divorce, especially when children are involved. The "family" laws are NOT in your favor, and the longer you are married, the worse the effects of these laws become. You may lose your kids and find yourself in severe financial distress for many years. You DON'T want to marry this girl if the situation remains as it is right now.

I'm sorry that I don't have better news for you. Human relationships are complicated and it's often hard to think straight when you have that deep emotional attachment to someone. I wish you the best of luck in resolving this.
 
I think it's critical you be honest with yourself. While you may be serious, you honestly need a partner where you feel you can embrace your fetish to some extent. Otherwise you run the risk of increased frustration and potential cheating - whether it was intentional or not. I agree with others like master - you shouldn't get married if this remains unresolved. Sadly the divorce laws favor women more than they really should so please be wise.
 
If you love your girlfriend, as she probably loves you, you'll see you both deserve to be happy.
You deserve someone who can accommodate your needs, and she deserves to have someone who can be happy with her as she is.
There's nothing wrong with you liking tickling; there's also nothing wrong with her hating it.
Move on, in the best interests of both of you.
 
The tickling is more sexual than it is for fun and I understand it won't work if it's just more for fun than anything else then you can work it out! Also have a talk with her about your fetish tell her what it means to you if she doesn't understand drop her!
 
You dont catch feelings before finding out if they are ok with tickling. Thats mistake number 1
 
Yea I think my mistake is permanent. I feel it's too late to break up now. We already have a house and many more reasons to stay. Did I ruin my life?


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Jerzeys23 said:
Yea I think my mistake is permanent. I feel it's too late to break up now. We already have a house and many more reasons to stay. Did I ruin my life?
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Click to expand...

So, you built something you feel you can't get out of, got a house together...
and the subject of your tickle fetish just never came up?
What did you think was going to happen?
And how long have you been together?
 
I'm going to guess you guys must be monogamous, so therefore playing with others is out of the question. Still it might be worth bringing it up because you will never know if you don't ask. If you two are strictly monogamous then I'd also suggest not going behind her back to get your fix.
 
Wolf said:
So, you built something you feel you can't get out of, got a house together...
and the subject of your tickle fetish just never came up?
What did you think was going to happen?
And how long have you been together?
Click to expand...

I think I was just in denial. 4 years now.


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porcelaindoll2 said:
I'm going to guess you guys must be monogamous, so therefore playing with others is out of the question. Still it might be worth bringing it up because you will never know if you don't ask. If you two are strictly monogamous then I'd also suggest not going behind her back to get your fix.
Click to expand...

Yea I have brought it up and she's not having it. Yes definitely monogamous.


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Jerzeys23 said:
I think I was just in denial. 4 years now.


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Click to expand...

Unfortunately, there's no suggestion we can give to help you. I feel for you man but I would never start anything serious without bringing up my tickle fetish.
 
Jerzeys23 said:
Yea I have brought it up and she's not having it. Yes definitely monogamous.
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Click to expand...

You realize that if you're looking for escorts and sneaking around without her knowledge, that isn't really being monogamous, right?
You need to make a decision.
 
What if I can tell her that it's a deal breaker for me. If she knew it was so serious to me that I would break up over it maybe it would change things.


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Jerzeys23 said:
What if I can tell her that it's a deal breaker for me. If she knew it was so serious to me that I would break up over it maybe it would change things.
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Click to expand...

I'm not sure I'd use the term "deal-breaker". Would you want to be in a relationship under constant threat?
Besides, it looks like you've already decided to look outside for your play.
 
Wolf said:
I'm not sure I'd use the term "deal-breaker". Would you want to be in a relationship under constant threat?
Besides, it looks like you've already decided to look outside for your play.
Click to expand...

Yea I hear ya


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You must ask Yourself "what really makes You happy". I was on the same boat in the past... well, maybe not exactly the same, 'cuz I could "dig in" a little here and there, but most likely I had to restrain my tickle hunger. Anyway, in the end we broke up, but not because of tickling subject - I choose her over tickling, but You know: everybody is different. Maybe You desire it more than I did... anyway, You need to put Her and tickling on the scale, and see what weights more. I mean, You have one life, so it would be shi*** to live unhappy for the rest of it.
Hard decision must admit.
Cheers!
 
I've withheld til now... My gf - now my wife of 37+ yrs - is also not into tickling. She knows I am (from the mags of the 90's, as well as my attempts at tickling her in the years before). Talk to her about your interest in it... how it turns you on, and that you only want to do it with her. Have her tie me and tickle me? Tried that too, several times, to no avail. Guess it's just that we had other interests that bonded us more. Oh, and many of the friends at college thought we'd be divorced within two years. And, have I thought of going outside for tickling? H - E - double hockey sticks, yes, several times. Have I? No. Guess you can call me chicken dumplings or whatever. You just gotta decide what is most important in your relationship. Ramble, ramble. Still, best of luck to ya.
 
rdhd said:
I've withheld til now... My gf - now my wife of 37+ yrs - is also not into tickling. She knows I am (from the mags of the 90's, as well as my attempts at tickling her in the years before). Talk to her about your interest in it... how it turns you on, and that you only want to do it with her. Have her tie me and tickle me? Tried that too, several times, to no avail. Guess it's just that we had other interests that bonded us more. Oh, and many of the friends at college thought we'd be divorced within two years. And, have I thought of going outside for tickling? H - E - double hockey sticks, yes, several times. Have I? No. Guess you can call me chicken dumplings or whatever. You just gotta decide what is most important in your relationship. Ramble, ramble. Still, best of luck to ya.
Click to expand...

Well, your situation is unfortunate, and you were honest from the beginning, and I don't think it's chicken to not cheat. It's pretty brave. A lot of people just make excuses.
 
Well, for once, I have to say "thank you, Wolf".
 
I don't typically do this here, but I have to offer a contrasting point of view. My wife is not keen on being tickled, and in all honesty isn't even that ticklish. She gets there with some oil in the right spots, but that takes some effort. The point is, though, that I love her and she is my best friend and supports me in ways I didn't know I needed. I know how cliche this sounds, but bear with me. I chose that over constant tickle fun, but it doesn't mean I threw in the towel.

I've convinced her over the years to let me tie her up here and there, and we're hitting our stride in that finally. I can get some tickles in, and that's great, but the real turn on is that she trusts me enough to take those steps.

I know in your heart of hearts you've already made up your mind, and you need to be true to both of you. Love her because you love her, or let her go because you don't. And then don't look back and don't regret anything ever. I know it sounds sappy, but I honestly believe this. Don't break up something over anything less than "not love". Everything else bends to that. The whole tickling thing is just an excuse, not the core question here. I'm not saying to force it, though, either. You either love her or you don't, and if you don't you'll grow to resent her in ways like this, so don't do that, either.

Good luck, dude!
 
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