http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2009/10/tickedoff_by_tickle_attacks.html
My thoughts are she seems extremely ticklish...
My thoughts are she seems extremely ticklish...
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Thoughts on this Article?
- Thread starter ninefive
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milagros317
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My thoughts are very simple: If her account is accurate, then her boyfriend is an asshole.
The way he's doing it, yes, he's an idiot. I like to tickle my wife, but she doesn't like it; she threatens to divorce me if I continue (maybe someday I'll push it.....). But, she knows I have a tickle fetish, and I don't push it. Perhaps the lad should have a talk with his gal, especially if it is of a sexual interest. Maybe she would then go along with a limited bit of tickling, maybe not. If it's a definite no-go, then she should find someone else, and let him try to find that super special one that we all really want.
Sensualswitch10
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Yeah, yeah the guy's a dick. But did anyone else notice Prudence used the word "session" to describe It?
milagros317
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Actually, I had not noticed that. Good of you to point it out.
What rdhd said is true.
If the guy tickles her every day, in what seems like a torture fashion, he either has a tickle interest/fetish that he hasn't told her about, or that the boyfriend himself may not be in touch with.
To not consider her feelings, and to tickle torture her constantly, is not respecting her feelings.
If he really did want to tickle her, he could maybe ask her if she would mind a limited amount of tickling, occasionally. This way, he has his tickling fun with her, while still respecting her feelings to not overdo it with the tickling.
If he is continually tickle torturing her every day, and she really hates it the way she describes, they probably are not right for each other based on that, no matter how "great" he might seem.
If the guy tickles her every day, in what seems like a torture fashion, he either has a tickle interest/fetish that he hasn't told her about, or that the boyfriend himself may not be in touch with.
To not consider her feelings, and to tickle torture her constantly, is not respecting her feelings.
If he really did want to tickle her, he could maybe ask her if she would mind a limited amount of tickling, occasionally. This way, he has his tickling fun with her, while still respecting her feelings to not overdo it with the tickling.
If he is continually tickle torturing her every day, and she really hates it the way she describes, they probably are not right for each other based on that, no matter how "great" he might seem.
Couldn't agree more! The boyfriend should approach it in a respectful manner and discuss it. If she doesn't like it, then he should respect those boundaries. If it is an issue beyond repair, then they need to separate. I had a relationship about 5 years ago with an extremely sensitive woman. She hated being tickled. We set boundaries and she knew everything about my fetish. She would allow for light tickling every so often. Nothing extreme and no bondage. We did eventually move on for different reasons. My point is that respect and understanding work. And to this day, she is one of the only people who knows the full extent of it. And one of the only ex-girlfriends who is still a very close friend.
Nedstacey2
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An even bigger asshole reported on just a few days ago:
DEAR AMY: My stepdad tickles me a lot. I’ve told him to stop, that I don’t like it and that it makes me uncomfortable. When I get mad about him tickling, especially when I’m feeling sick, he starts to go out of his way to tickle me more and even warns me about it. He tells me, “I’m gonna tickle you more now,” and when I say “no” he says, “It wasn’t a question.”
Sometimes I think that the unusual thing about us on TMF isn't that we are into tickling, but that we have worked out the ethics of it, because we have had to think about it more. Out there in the world there is always plenty of tickling going on, yet so much of it is nonconsensual and thoughtless.
Prudence's advice - that it should be "goodbye" - sounds right to me.
And I feel for the one who writes in to Amy about her step-dad. She can't say goodbye so simply.
Prudence's advice - that it should be "goodbye" - sounds right to me.
And I feel for the one who writes in to Amy about her step-dad. She can't say goodbye so simply.
An even bigger asshole reported on just a few days ago:
DEAR AMY: My stepdad tickles me a lot. I’ve told him to stop, that I don’t like it and that it makes me uncomfortable. When I get mad about him tickling, especially when I’m feeling sick, he starts to go out of his way to tickle me more and even warns me about it. He tells me, “I’m gonna tickle you more now,” and when I say “no” he says, “It wasn’t a question.”
That simply makes me sick, playfully tickling someone there mad or sick EVERYONCE and awhile is one thing. However to consistently do it on a regular basis is awful
Because tickling involves laughter it can masquerade as a playful activity even when it isn't, and the vanilla world is full of people who use it to exercise power and dominance over others and hide behind the obviously stupid assertion that "you must like it because you're laughing". They know full well that something else is going on, but often get away with it because people are confused and disarmed by the playful image that tickling is habitually linked with in people's minds.
Sadly, some of the few people outside the ticklephile world who are aware of how tickling can lead to serious abuse are those who work in the field of child abuse, because they have seen it appearing occasionally as a pattern in grooming. But when adults complain of this mistreatment they are less likely to be taken seriously. Glad to see that the advice in the agony columns above is so clear.
Sadly, some of the few people outside the ticklephile world who are aware of how tickling can lead to serious abuse are those who work in the field of child abuse, because they have seen it appearing occasionally as a pattern in grooming. But when adults complain of this mistreatment they are less likely to be taken seriously. Glad to see that the advice in the agony columns above is so clear.
Yep, she says she's very ticklish. That's why she has a problem with what is happening. A shame that the person she is with doesn't show some of the subtlety, patience and respect that other posters here have suggested. Then he might eventually have a nicely ticklish and willing partner. But he will lose her if he goes about it like he is, and deserves to.
That did occur to me too.
The article
theblueone
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Oh I thought this was like an editorial or something about tickling and its effects, but nope, just a sad read about those type of people who make tickling into a way to annoy people, and not in a fun way either.
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gamergurl90
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Exactly. Respect is essential.
Tenebrae
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Not much to say about the situation depicted in the article itself. As sheerfootgirl put it, it is a matter of respect and understanding: if your partner does not like what you do to him/her, then cut it out. No fantasy is worth starting to bully or abuse another human being.
However, I think it highlights one of our biggest paradoxes. We tickle fetishists love ticklish girls. The more ticklish the better, usually. Yet, the more ticklish a girl, the least likely she will be to find enjoyable what is essentially a form of mild psychological torture. Striking gold is not to find the most ticklish lee on the planet, rather than reach a balance between our pleasure to see her "suffer" and her actual "suffering". In practice, it can be more complicated than it sounds.
In my own experience, I have encountered several instances of very ticklish dates who did not like at all the feeling of helplessness and utter loss of control that tickle torture brought them. I even met a girl who was into hardcore S&M stuff (BCP, scarification...), and yet who was - rather ironically in regard of her usual practices - terrified at the prospect of prolonged tickling.
This paradox is something we must deal with early on. Same as the one that befalls foot fetishists, who wish to see girls barefoot or in sandals all the time, and yet cannot stand the idea of their feet being damaged.
And this is so true.
I don't see why. This is exactly how most people view tickling, as something annoying done by someone either cruel or immature. The emphasis by both the writer and Prudence is on how tickling sucks and is the sign of a loser that needs to be left. Not sure why you've be vested in thinking that it's fake. It's one article from 9 years ago and tickling was never brought up again, so it's doubtful anyone got their jollies from writing it.
