Low_Roads
4th Level Black Feather
- Joined
- Nov 16, 2004
- Messages
- 8,911
- Points
- 38
I've started a new business, building two-masted yachts in my garage. The overhead doesn't concern me... sails are going through the roof!
For those who don't remember, Soviet Russia was pretty lame. Even its leaders thought so; they referred to it as a "classless" society.
My sister tries to act all superior, dropping names like Brahms and Liszt. Poser! I'll bet she hasn't seen any of their plays!
Always freeze apples before you eat them! It's hardcore!
Not many know it, but the Easter Bunny brews all the beer for Saint Patrick's Day. He's well equipped for the job... plenty of hops to spare.
I just heard that Bill Cosby got off. Guess the whole jury must have been asleep.
Bill Cosby is throwing a party to celebrate his mistrial. Free drinks for all the ladies!
Men avoid washing clothes. Why? Just look at the cleaning powder: deter-gent.
It's easy to get rid of unwanted pubic hair. Just spit it out.
Doctor: "You need more exercise. Tell me, do you take part in vigorous activity?"
Patient: "Does sex count?"
Doctor: " Sure. Sex definitely counts."
Patient: "Well, then... no."
There should be more books available to those behind bars. At present, the cons outweigh the prose.
I've used up the last of the Cheez Whiz. It's now Cheez Whaz.
Did you know the Klan has a global-warming policy? It's true; they're staunchly in favor of keeping Antarctica white.
My girlfriend's eyes are like stars... little pinpoints with lots of space between.
A dung beetle enters a saloon. He approaches the bartender and asks, "Okay if I take this stool?"
Hear about the groupie who had sex with an entire classical orchestra? The press is calling her a symphomaniac.
Disembodied female voices told Kevin Costner to start work on the most effective dildo ever conceived. If he builds it, they will cum.
Heard about the Arabian Nights cell phone? A high-class item, but watch out... it's charged with a sultan battery.
Scientists have recently worked out the chemical composition of cats: iron, lithium and neon. Or, to put it more succinctly, FeLiNe.
I went to the doctor to cure my diarrhea, and he did! It's now gonorrhea!
Sherlock Holmes is being audited by the IRS... too many deductions.
A husband runs into his mailman at the local bar.
Mailman: "What's the matter, pal? You look down in the dumps."
Husband: "It's my wife. She says she's tired of having so much sex. Cut me down to three times a week."
Mailman: "You think that's bad? She cut me off entirely!"
* * *
For those who don't remember, Soviet Russia was pretty lame. Even its leaders thought so; they referred to it as a "classless" society.
* * *
My sister tries to act all superior, dropping names like Brahms and Liszt. Poser! I'll bet she hasn't seen any of their plays!
* * *
Always freeze apples before you eat them! It's hardcore!
* * *
Not many know it, but the Easter Bunny brews all the beer for Saint Patrick's Day. He's well equipped for the job... plenty of hops to spare.
* * *
I just heard that Bill Cosby got off. Guess the whole jury must have been asleep.
* * *
Bill Cosby is throwing a party to celebrate his mistrial. Free drinks for all the ladies!
* * *
Men avoid washing clothes. Why? Just look at the cleaning powder: deter-gent.
* * *
It's easy to get rid of unwanted pubic hair. Just spit it out.
* * *
Doctor: "You need more exercise. Tell me, do you take part in vigorous activity?"
Patient: "Does sex count?"
Doctor: " Sure. Sex definitely counts."
Patient: "Well, then... no."
* * *
There should be more books available to those behind bars. At present, the cons outweigh the prose.
* * *
I've used up the last of the Cheez Whiz. It's now Cheez Whaz.
* * *
Did you know the Klan has a global-warming policy? It's true; they're staunchly in favor of keeping Antarctica white.
* * *
My girlfriend's eyes are like stars... little pinpoints with lots of space between.
* * *
A dung beetle enters a saloon. He approaches the bartender and asks, "Okay if I take this stool?"
* * *
Hear about the groupie who had sex with an entire classical orchestra? The press is calling her a symphomaniac.
* * *
Disembodied female voices told Kevin Costner to start work on the most effective dildo ever conceived. If he builds it, they will cum.
* * *
Heard about the Arabian Nights cell phone? A high-class item, but watch out... it's charged with a sultan battery.
* * *
Scientists have recently worked out the chemical composition of cats: iron, lithium and neon. Or, to put it more succinctly, FeLiNe.
* * *
I went to the doctor to cure my diarrhea, and he did! It's now gonorrhea!
* * *
Sherlock Holmes is being audited by the IRS... too many deductions.
* * *
A husband runs into his mailman at the local bar.
Mailman: "What's the matter, pal? You look down in the dumps."
Husband: "It's my wife. She says she's tired of having so much sex. Cut me down to three times a week."
Mailman: "You think that's bad? She cut me off entirely!"
