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Question on Dating

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ninefive

TMF Master
Joined
Aug 18, 2003
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So yesterday, I went back to my usual restaurant where I eat a lot and the servers know who I am and what my order was. It has indoor and outdoor seating. At the end of my meal, I saw one of the servers who I liked coming back from outside after serving someone. Privately, I asked her "I don't mean to offend you but was wondering if you wanted to get dinner sometime." She looked a bit flustered and said "check in with me after restaurant week." I said I'd be back next week and we could talk then.

Do you think that most likely means yes for a date or a statemenet for her to buy time so she can think of a reason to say no next week?
 
ninefive said:
So yesterday, I went back to my usual restaurant where I eat a lot and the servers know who I am and what my order was. It has indoor and outdoor seating. At the end of my meal, I saw one of the servers who I liked coming back from outside after serving someone. Privately, I asked her "I don't mean to offend you but was wondering if you wanted to get dinner sometime." She looked a bit flustered and said "check in with me after restaurant week." I said I'd be back next week and we could talk then.

Do you think that most likely means yes for a date or a statemenet for her to buy time so she can think of a reason to say no next week?
Click to expand...

could go either way, honestly.

She might just be stalling because she was busy and didn't have time to say "no", politely, or, she might be stalling because she was busy and didn't have time to talk about when she'd be available for dinner.
 
From past experience, the initial facial expression has been a better indicator for me than the words they would say afterwards. If her flustered look happened immediately after your question, that's likely not a good sign.

That being said...have you had banter/flirting in the past? Already built rapport? If it's been positive, than maybe she was just really busy.

But checking back after restaurant week? She's not working 24/7.

Also, be more authoritative when you ask in the future. Say, "we should get dinner this week," or, "Why don't you and I get dinner this week?" If the girl says no, respect her and move on.
 
Tickaler said:
From past experience, the initial facial expression has been a better indicator for me than the words they would say afterwards. If her flustered look happened immediately after your question, that's likely not a good sign.

That being said...have you had banter/flirting in the past? Already built rapport? If it's been positive, than maybe she was just really busy.

But checking back after restaurant week? She's not working 24/7.

Also, be more authoritative when you ask in the future. Say, "we should get dinner this week," or, "Why don't you and I get dinner this week?" If the girl says no, respect her and move on.
Click to expand...

I only see her when I go to the restaurant. I said I'd be back the next week and we can figure it out. I'm not sure if she looked flustered but me asking her out was a bit out of the blue and she did think about it for 5 seconds or so
 
And, often waitresses are told they are not to arrange dates with customers while they are working...they have to focus on serving their customers, not your dating desires.
 
ninefive said:
20s
Click to expand...

Then I'd say no, you're too old for her. You've been posting here since 2003 so you're at least 30. A woman gives a guy in his 20's some slack, but by 30 you should be coming across as far more assertive and confident. Also, the one place you should never ask out someone who works in a restaurant is ... a restaurant. If you're an outdoors guy, ask her to go hiking or something. If you're an indoors guy, ask her to see a romantic movie like 'Dunkirk.'
 
lol as far as age goes, I guess that's subjective, in 2015 my dad was seeing someone younger than my girl lol... I was 27 my gf was 37. my dad always had younger women, hell my stepmom was like 10 years older than me xD
 
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