Hef was a great man, who made major contributions to our society and don't think for a SECOND that you'd have a TMF without his pioneering work. In fact, the TMF is VERY much like Playboy.....you have the sexual element but that's not all there is to it.
Hef was on the right side of history many times. He championed Lenny Bruce when no one would. He championed civil rights, women's rights...... when you watch documentaries, notice how many times it says "produced by Hugh Hefner" or how many times his name will appear in the "special thanks" section. The state of film preservation, including my own passion, silent film, would be NOWHERE near what is without his help. He was no mere pornographer.
My Dad always had Playboy, and to be honest, it never was the girls I was most interested in. It was the interview of the month. A long, long, long form interview -always definitive - with people you wanted to read about, be they Martin Luther King or Bette Davis, Dick Cheney or (in one of the most ironic and heartbreaking interviews) John Lennon a few weeks before he was murdered. Daniel Ortega....or Elizabth Kubler-Ross! When my Dad would get a new Playboy, I always wanted to see who the interview was. (and the shorter 20 Questions interview)
The long form articles, written by everyone from Truman Capote to Joyce Carol Oates, the short stories. "The Playboy Advisor" where readers would send in their questions about sex...or stereo equipment! The Playboy Advisor seemed to know about everything from sex to shipyards. It was in the Playboy Advisor that I first saw a letter about tickling (maybe it was Max Speer who wrote it), a girl writing about how her boyfriend had gotten hooked by making her laugh during sex by tickling her. Playboy wrote that "tickling is a common turn-on" and proceeded to give advice about how to maintain feathers after they'd been used (the oils from body perspiration can make the feathers blah blah blah.....). I couldn't believe my eyes. "Tickling is a common turn-on". It wasn't just me.
If you want to enjoy Hef at his best, go watch when he hosted Saturday Night Live in the second or third season. He's funny (the whole episode is), he lampoons his image and holds his own with Gilda, Jane & Laraine not to mention Belushi, Ackroyd, Morris & Murray.
On one level, people could say Hef was a terrible man, he exploited women, etc etc. I don't think it's so black and white, like most things. And he was always evolving. I always thought he explored sexuality - completely breaking down the taboos (Playboy started in the 50's!) - and that he celebrated women and their beauty. I always read the Playmate's bio and accompanying article about her. It was never just a naked sex object, you got to "meet" the model - something other porn mags did not and does not do. It gave you the opportunity not just to lust after the model....but to fall in love with her.
Never did find a model who wrote "Tickling" as her turn-on, but I do remember one writing "Having my toes sucked!!!" (and I do believe she wrote three exclamation points).
Hef's lifestyle was completely individualistic and self-made, no matter how you feel about him. An American success story if there ever was one. There definitely is an L.A. seediness to it all, maybe the Playboy Mansion appears like a pick-up scene for male celebrities (and it absolutely was in some respects) But I think it was much more complicated than that.
Julie Newmar (yes, Catwoman from the original Batman series) was a lifelong friend of Hefner's and would go to his New Year's Eve parties. A few years ago she wrote a very cool remembrance about the 2011 New Year's Eve party that gives you a pretty clear view of what it was and had become, for better or worse:
julienewmarwrites.com/story.php?idStory=102
You have to take the bad with the good. People aren't perfect, and neither was Hef and neither is the "Playboy fantasy". But we wouldn't be the same without him, whether we acknowledge it or not.
Maybe in this day and age, Playboy seems completely irrelevant, outdated. Maybe even quaint. Sexual mores have changed since Playboy started. People's attitudes about sex - and so many other things as well - have changed They've changed BECAUSE Of Playboy.
“I’d like to be remembered as someone who played some part in changing our hurtful and hypocritical views on sex ― and had a lot of fun doing it.”
-Hef, 2004
I have a few questions though. Was he really that much of a pioneer? Saying that we wouldn't have the TMF without him sounds like a bit of a stretch.
Also, I am not that familiar with the history of the US porn industry, but I think before Playboy there was already an abundant erotic literature in America (and elsewhere) in the form of pulps, comic books and Men's Adventure magazines. Maybe you meant he help sexuality break through the mainstream? But even in this case, he was hardly alone.
As for Hefner himself, like Captured Doll was telling us the other day (see posts #21-22), he had a lifestyle a lot of us would have liked to emulate. Imagine a tickling mansion chock-full of beauties, and you are the only guy in there. Yeps. Hats off to the king!
One last word: I had no idea he was so old! Looking at him I thought he was 71 or something. Another proof that Traditional Chinese Medicine is right to recommend an intense sexual activity
I have a few questions though. Was he really that much of a pioneer? Saying that we wouldn't have the TMF without him sounds like a bit of a stretch.
Also, I am not that familiar with the history of the US porn industry, but I think before Playboy there was already an abundant erotic literature in America (and elsewhere) in the form of pulps, comic books and Men's Adventure magazines. Maybe you meant he help sexuality break through the mainstream? But even in this case, he was hardly alone.
First off, Playboy was never just porn. That's where he was the pioneer. He wasn't about pulp. He wasn't about smuggling the "dirty magazine" into your home. He was about being sexually open. What other "pornographer" can you name from the 1950s and the 1960s that was publicly visible? That would go on TV and talk about sexuality and pornography and masturbation? He wasn't embarrassed by it. He was adult about it.
And the pulps, the comic books, "Men's Adventure"....they weren't interviewing Martin Luther King! You know what I mean? He had THE idea to mix pornography with everything else. Just make pornography one of the elements. And not "sneak" it into the magazine under the guise of something else. It was unabashedly "Entertainment For Men" as it used to say on the cover. "Here's a beautiful woman - nothing wrong with that! Nothing to be ashamed of!"
He projected an image of a confident, urbane, clean guy....not some slobbering pervert. And people's attitudes - not everyone's but some - gradually changed. And sure enough, here on the TMF, you have people that would never have been so open and outspoken about their sexual peccadilloes. I think the TMF would be a much different place, at least as far as American participation, had those doors not been opened. Not with the puritan attitudes about sex hewn into the culture from the beginning.
Also, like Playboy, it's not just about the sexual content! The Forum is like flipping through Playboy in a way - you can be sexually titillated but still hang around for other reasons. So yeah a bit of a stretch I grant you, but....especially from an American perspective... I thought it was apt to mention.
As for Hefner himself, like Captured Doll was telling us the other day (see posts #21-22), he had a lifestyle a lot of us would have liked to emulate. Imagine a tickling mansion chock-full of beauties, and you are the only guy in there. Yeps. Hats off to the king!
Sure! And he should be an inspiration to women too, there could just as easily be a Playgirl mansion, or some kind of woman who chooses to dress in pajamas, surrounded by hunky men all day long. Why not?
Like the beautiful quote that's on the Playboy page right now: "Life is too short to live someone else's dream." Yaqi couldn't have said it better himself (as one of our members who similarly went out into the mainstream and used that attitude and sentiment when being interviewed, often by incredulous interviewers). And lots of people on this forum go live out THEIR dreams, by going to NESTS, or even just by coming here! Living out those dreams feels possible, in part because Hef did it first! He showed the way! And he lived it right till the end! Good for him!
One last word: I had no idea he was so old! Looking at him I thought he was 71 or something. Another proof that Traditional Chinese Medicine is right to recommend an intense sexual activity
well that's another thing! Not just Hefner but look around: most people in their 70s aren't looking like "little old men" and "little old ladies" as in days past. A lot of people are still bounding around, hanging on to their youth. Look at Viagra and all these pills that are about keeping older people sexually active. Would that be such a "thing" where we have commercials running on TV morning, noon and night about "erectile dysfunction" without Playboy "normalizing" sex and bringing it out into the mainstream? Not just "sexy", but in actual discussion of sex and its complexities, and not just in a clinical report but in mainstream forums like his magazine, or on TV shows like "Firing Line with William F. Buckley!"
I'm not saying Playboy was the ONLY ingredient in moving forward about sex; but it certainly was one of the big ones during the crucial decades of the 1950s and 1960s (and 1970s for that matter). Like I said, my Dad was very open about bringing home Playboy. My mom read it. My mom continued to buy Playboy AFTER she divorced my Dad! You'd never see something like that in the 1940s or any other era I can think of, not in the States anyways.
First off, Playboy was never just porn. That's where he was the pioneer. He wasn't about pulp. He wasn't about smuggling the "dirty magazine" into your home. He was about being sexually open. What other "pornographer" can you name from the 1950s and the 1960s that was publicly visible? That would go on TV and talk about sexuality and pornography and masturbation? He wasn't embarrassed by it. He was adult about it.
And the pulps, the comic books, "Men's Adventure"....they weren't interviewing Martin Luther King! You know what I mean? He had THE idea to mix pornography with everything else. Just make pornography one of the elements. And not "sneak" it into the magazine under the guise of something else. It was unabashedly "Entertainment For Men" as it used to say on the cover. "Here's a beautiful woman - nothing wrong with that! Nothing to be ashamed of!"
He projected an image of a confident, urbane, clean guy....not some slobbering pervert. And people's attitudes - not everyone's but some - gradually changed. And sure enough, here on the TMF, you have people that would never have been so open and outspoken about their sexual peccadilloes. I think the TMF would be a much different place, at least as far as American participation, had those doors not been opened. Not with the puritan attitudes about sex hewn into the culture from the beginning.
Also, like Playboy, it's not just about the sexual content! The Forum is like flipping through Playboy in a way - you can be sexually titillated but still hang around for other reasons. So yeah a bit of a stretch I grant you, but....especially from an American perspective... I thought it was apt to mention.
Sure! And he should be an inspiration to women too, there could just as easily be a Playgirl mansion, or some kind of woman who chooses to dress in pajamas, surrounded by hunky men all day long. Why not?
Like the beautiful quote that's on the Playboy page right now: "Life is too short to live someone else's dream." Yaqi couldn't have said it better himself (as one of our members who similarly went out into the mainstream and used that attitude and sentiment when being interviewed, often by incredulous interviewers). And lots of people on this forum go live out THEIR dreams, by going to NESTS, or even just by coming here! Living out those dreams feels possible, in part because Hef did it first! He showed the way! And he lived it right till the end! Good for him!
well that's another thing! Not just Hefner but look around: most people in their 70s aren't looking like "little old men" and "little old ladies" as in days past. A lot of people are still bounding around, hanging on to their youth. Look at Viagra and all these pills that are about keeping older people sexually active. Would that be such a "thing" where we have commercials running on TV morning, noon and night about "erectile dysfunction" without Playboy "normalizing" sex and bringing it out into the mainstream? Not just "sexy", but in actual discussion of sex and its complexities, and not just in a clinical report but in mainstream forums like his magazine, or on TV shows like "Firing Line with William F. Buckley!"
I'm not saying Playboy was the ONLY ingredient in moving forward about sex; but it certainly was one of the big ones during the crucial decades of the 1950s and 1960s (and 1970s for that matter). Like I said, my Dad was very open about bringing home Playboy. My mom read it. My mom continued to buy Playboy AFTER she divorced my Dad! You'd never see something like that in the 1940s or any other era I can think of, not in the States anyways.
Wow, what a great account! Thank you kindly; I think you pretty much nailed all the answers I was asking for.
I never read Playboy, I mean really never. I know it was sold in France at some point, but even as a teenager my sexual tastes were already too far off the mainstream to enjoy a "normal" porn mag. But I really like Hefner's idea of mixing the porn aspect with serious journalistic work. Now I wish I could read those Martin Luther King or the aptly named Dick Cheney's interviews
I understand the peculiarities of the American context. In a country where, regrettably, Janet Jackson cannot show a nipple without creating a riot and nudity is perceived as offensive, I can understand how groundbreaking Hefner's work had been (and still is) received. I am not saying that Europeans are superior to the Americans in any regard, sexuality included. We have our fair share of bigots, stuck-ups and religious fanatics. But I do think we have differing views when it comes to nudity and the free expression of the beauty of the human body. In there we have family-friendly movies that show full-frontal male and female nudity, and very few people complain about that. Which is probably why where I come from, Playboy is just "another magazine", and its publication did not generate the same amount of controversy it did in the USA.
From your account, Hefner trod the line carefully between underground sleaziness and mainstream acceptability, foreboding the so-called "sexual revolution" then accompanying it. And enriching himself in the process; kudos again to your honesty by the way. I really like how you avoid making him a saint, trying to explain all aspects of this complex character.
And he should be an inspiration to women too, there could just as easily be a Playgirl mansion, or some kind of woman who chooses to dress in pajamas, surrounded by hunky men all day long. Why not?
Why not indeed. I wonder how many women actually have that fantasy. And how many would actually acknowledge it to a guy. Probably more than we imagine
Although to be honest, the lesbian version of this sounds more appealing to me. No man. At all. Gaaaaah! *head explodes in an overdose of arousing thoughts*
*head explodes in an overdose of arousing thoughts*
