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I need advice

C

CosquillasLima

Registered User
Joined
Oct 1, 2017
Messages
11
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Im 20, hace a tickle fetish and male. So imma tell u guys my whole story to give context and so that maybe i can get some guidance.
While i was in highsxhool i dated this girs who we will call N, we hanged out for years and she knew my secret. She enjoyed bejng tickled and tickling me back, just like sessions only its not a fetish for her meaning she doesnt get horny while doing that or excites her. She had amaZing soles...like so beautiful. But well thingna didnt work out and after 4 years or so since kids we broke up. We passed throught so many things together and learned so much. But well didn work out.
So we each went our way. I got into another relationshio first and then she did, but she suffered a lot since we were so close and also every now and then we talked and always were kinda dunno...playful by chat only (she always sended pics she knew got me anxious like showing her feet or belly and talked about tickling or u get my idea.
Now lemme talk about this second relationship which i just ended a couple days ago. Lets call her L. I loved her as i do with all my couples cause thats the idea....and she knows too of my fetish BUTTT just cannot stand getting tickled. Physically she cant stand it (shes a screamer not a laughter) and she cant hold still.... so thats one of the reasons i just think theres no future, i just cant imagine a life wothout a girl that i cant tickle so much and she enjoying it. Thing is we love each other but...dunno did i do the right thing? (WEe have to note that we all know we ticklers have to tickle...its part of us and even in the sexual life is Important).
Anyways, i think im seing N on two days cause its her birthday and weve been talking for some days...as always playful. I asked L for some time to think things good and then well see about my decition. With L were going out to talk and celebrare the two years we almost got to.
Dunno what to do or if im okay at all...advices?
 
Well if things didn't work out the first time I doubt they will work out this time, I'd recommend moving on
 
What do you think i should do with L, i have no idea what to do but damm...i just thinking about not being able to tickle my gf is horrible..not her fault tho
 
Former GF: Move on. Voice of bitter experience here.

Current GF: You appear to be examining your priorities. Do a thorough job of it before you decide.

FWIW, Mrs. Strel and I married in our 30s. We're in our 60s now. She's as ticklish as ever, but we're not kids any more. She has health issues, so she's somewhat frail. Very little tickling any more, but after 30 years, there are other things that are more important.

Strelnikov
 
You're 20. You're gonna experience relationships that make you question if anything you felt before was really love
And read some of the posts around here of people in relationships where they can't indulge in tickling, see how happy they sound lol
 
@strelnikov What did u used to look for back in your youth?

@chicago maybe i have sone things wrong but how are we lers or lees suposed to be happy while not being able to exercise our desires and what we love
 
CosquillasLima said:
@strelnikov What did u used to look for back in your youth?

@chicago maybe i have sone things wrong but how are we lers or lees suposed to be happy while not being able to exercise our desires and what we love
Click to expand...

My point exactly
 
I'm one of those that chicago mentioned - my wife isn't into tickling, but we've been together for 37 years. Sometimes, other things are more important. Would I like tickling in our relationship? Yes - and I get a few strokes now and then - just not the hour-long sessions we'd all like. As we used to say in Pennsylvania - "them's the breaks."
 
I am one of the one's Chicago is talking about. I can't tell you how frustrating it is to not be able to exercise my tickling desire. She's not ticklish. It's a bummer. And even though we've been married more than 40 years, it really drives me nuts. I would love to have a tickling experience with a woman who loves to be tickled, but that will never be. I'm left to dream. My recommendation is find someone who will tolerate your tickling desire or you will be miserable. I wasn't aware how strong my feelings were about this when we were dating and got married. But it continues to grow. I'm not saying that she doesn't have great qualities and I intend to remain committed to her, but this does consume me, and at times it's really hard.
 
I don't mean to judge people in relationships where they are not able to indulge in tickling. At the end of the day, it's about what makes you happy and everyone's kink is different.
 
I think for some, the kink rules their relationships. It's the most important thing to them, and almost become a a type of materialism.
 
OSUchamps said:
I think for some, the kink rules their relationships. It's the most important thing to them, and almost become a a type of materialism.
Click to expand...

That's true enough; I've seen people get greedy and ruin good relationships because they demanded too much in regards to their fetishes.
 
This is a very personal opinion, but I would like to say that in a relationship I need to be accepted for who I am. And tickling is part of who I am, as much as the rest: my nationality, my race, my political opinions, my hobbies... My significant other can differ from me on any number of these, but she needs to be at least okay with me having them. That's why I am always very straightforward with the women I date. So far, it has served me well (women seem to appreciate the honesty even if things don't work out), with the exception of one single bad experience.

However, I could never date a girl who would not let me tickle her, even playfully. Or who wouldn't be ticklish. I wouldn't say my kink rules my relationship, but it'd be hell for me to be married to a woman whom I could not tickle it AT ALL. Luckily, my wife is both extremely ticklish, and loves to be tied & tickled.
 
Another unmentioned option; open relationships exist! She can't handle tickling, find a partner who can! You can date non monogamously. Set rules and boundaries, be open and honest.
 
youre right, they exist, however i think this would serve for some time, but at some point (cause of nature) ur gonna wanna stick to a person and marry or smth. So my question goes for , most importantly, how to deal or what to do if the person youve been with just doest not handle getting tickled and u have a tickle fetish. Like what is the wisest thing to do...
 
Tenebrae said:
This is a very personal opinion, but I would like to say that in a relationship I need to be accepted for who I am. And tickling is part of who I am, as much as the rest: my nationality, my race, my political opinions, my hobbies... My significant other can differ from me on any number of these, but she needs to be at least okay with me having them. That's why I am always very straightforward with the women I date. So far, it has served me well (women seem to appreciate the honesty even if things don't work out), with the exception of one single bad experience.

However, I could never date a girl who would not let me tickle her, even playfully. Or who wouldn't be ticklish. I wouldn't say my kink rules my relationship, but it'd be hell for me to be married to a woman whom I could not tickle it AT ALL. Luckily, my wife is both extremely ticklish, and loves to be tied & tickled.
Click to expand...

yeah i know what u mean. Ive only dated 2 girls like srsly and in general i think the best thing to do is to show what u like or not. Ive done this. However i think the problem is my gf is totally ticklish, and we love each other apart from that subject, however, im trying to seek answers in the situation where im not happy cause she cant stand getting tickled (not that she does not like it)
 
Wolf said:
That's true enough; I've seen people get greedy and ruin good relationships because they demanded too much in regards to their fetishes.
Click to expand...

On point. i think the best is to find a balance for each part of the relationship so everyones happy and comfortable
 
qwill said:
I am one of the one's Chicago is talking about. I can't tell you how frustrating it is to not be able to exercise my tickling desire. She's not ticklish. It's a bummer. And even though we've been married more than 40 years, it really drives me nuts. I would love to have a tickling experience with a woman who loves to be tickled, but that will never be. I'm left to dream. My recommendation is find someone who will tolerate your tickling desire or you will be miserable. I wasn't aware how strong my feelings were about this when we were dating and got married. But it continues to grow. I'm not saying that she doesn't have great qualities and I intend to remain committed to her, but this does consume me, and at times it's really hard.
Click to expand...

i apreaciate ur comment, cause this is exactly the situation i feel i want to avoid, since i think is not being happy at all...i dont doubt i dont love her but ur missing something and that may make u sad or haunt you. I feel i wanna avoid that with all due respect
 
rdhd said:
I'm one of those that chicago mentioned - my wife isn't into tickling, but we've been together for 37 years. Sometimes, other things are more important. Would I like tickling in our relationship? Yes - and I get a few strokes now and then - just not the hour-long sessions we'd all like. As we used to say in Pennsylvania - "them's the breaks."
Click to expand...

i am definetely also sure there are more important things, but dont you feel sometimes that lack of tickling just makes u empty inside? how do you treat this lack tho?
 
Women are a pain in the ass when it comes to sex...You can be up front with the women in here, that have a tickle fetish, this is open hand poker...In a relationship with a non tickle fetish woman I would hide it, though she will eventually find out what you are about anyway...Single, Married, Co Habitating, it will always be somewhat of a cluster fuck, enjoy when you can
 
CosquillasLima said:
yeah i know what u mean. Ive only dated 2 girls like srsly and in general i think the best thing to do is to show what u like or not. Ive done this. However i think the problem is my gf is totally ticklish, and we love each other apart from that subject, however, im trying to seek answers in the situation where im not happy cause she cant stand getting tickled (not that she does not like it)
Click to expand...

I wrote a piece recently on the TMF, in which I describe the following paradox: we love ticklish girls, yet the more ticklish a girl, the least likely she is to find the experience of being tickled enjoyable. In a nutshell, my wife is actually too ticklish to withstand the harshest forms of tickling torture. But that does not make our life any less great. I just need to respect certain boundaries.

If I may give you one piece of advice, even though I know neither of you: it is not unheard of for someone who does not like tickling to become an enthusiastic 'lee, if you take it slow and respectfully. There is no method written in stone for that, as it depends on each individual, but I have personally been with girls who used to claim that they'd "kill me if I tickled [them]", and have become dedicated fetishists as they kept experimenting.
 
Tenebrae said:
I wrote a piece recently on the TMF, in which I describe the following paradox: we love ticklish girls, yet the more ticklish a girl, the least likely she is to find the experience of being tickled enjoyable. In a nutshell, my wife is actually too ticklish to withstand the harshest forms of tickling torture. But that does not make our life any less great. I just need to respect certain boundaries.

If I may give you one piece of advice, even though I know neither of you: it is not unheard of for someone who does not like tickling to become an enthusiastic 'lee, if you take it slow and respectfully. There is no method written in stone for that, as it depends on each individual, but I have personally been with girls who used to claim that they'd "kill me if I tickled [them]", and have become dedicated fetishists as they kept experimenting.
Click to expand...

i understand, and will actually take your advice, but i will say also that weve been trying to make it posible so that i can enjoy this with her...not been able to till today tho. But will keep trying. At last, what would you recomend if it just does not come to be?
 
CosquillasLima said:
i understand, and will actually take your advice, but i will say also that weve been trying to make it posible so that i can enjoy this with her...not been able to till today tho. But will keep trying. At last, what would you recomend if it just does not come to be?
Click to expand...

That, I cannot possibly say. It's really a matter of the value you attach to your relationship. Personally, I would not bother to remain in a relationship in which I would experience sexual frustration. Or even worse: be judged as a freak/pervert/maniac by the one I love. Like rdhd said, there are more important things to a relationship than just the sexual aspect of it, and it is true that you learn to appreciate that as you become more mature. However, at 20 years old, you're not there yet. What you decide now is up to you, I cannot really tell you what to do.
 
Tenebrae said:
That, I cannot possibly say. It's really a matter of the value you attach to your relationship. Personally, I would not bother to remain in a relationship in which I would experience sexual frustration. Or even worse: be judged as a freak/pervert/maniac by the one I love. Like rdhd said, there are more important things to a relationship than just the sexual aspect of it, and it is true that you learn to appreciate that as you become more mature. However, at 20 years old, you're not there yet. What you decide now is up to you, I cannot really tell you what to do.
Click to expand...

thanks for your reply :) will try to make the best out of what i can i guess and yeah take in mind that in the future there are more things than tickling (not that i didnt know). have a good one!
 
CosquillasLima said:
thanks for your reply :) will try to make the best out of what i can i guess and yeah take in mind that in the future there are more things than tickling (not that i didnt know). have a good one!
Click to expand...

You too, buddy! I cannot resist borrowing this line from The Witcher: "Good luck on the Path!"
 
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