The Tickling Fetish Paradox, discovered through a personal experience

I've been wanting to write this for quite a while.

We love ticklish 'lees. Like, the more ticklish, the better, right? I don't know for you, but I love the idea of reducing a woman to a complete wreck after minutes of stroking her feet. It's awesome. Especially if she is a rather strong woman, physically or personality-wise, there is something of a power play when exploiting someone's ticklishness that is simply a blast.

However, there's a catch. For a person that ticklish, being tied up and submitted to more than a handful of seconds of tickling is torture. I am not gonna argue that she'd prefer to have her nails pulled or being sawn in half, of course not. But it is still a very intense experience. So, unless she is very masochistic, chances are the experience will be too intense for your very ticklish 'lee.

Case in point: my wife. She's very ticklish, insanely so. And she's ticklish everywhere: her neck, her sides, her underarms, the back of her knees... Hell, I can even tickle her by stroking her forearms; I'm not kidding. Her feet alone probably have ten weak spots, including between her toes. You should hear her giggle when she gets a massage or a pedicure, it's adorable

She likes being tickled too. And we're doing that practically daily, whether it is a quick morning tickle fight after the alarm rang, a poke to the side before going to work to remind the other to pick up the keys, or more elaborate, erotic tickling while we make love. It's part of our life, neither the focus of it, nor a marginal part, somewhere in the middle. Neither of us could imagine our life without it.

We also do bondage. She loves to be tied up. One day I took it a bit further (with her consent), by restraining her more thoroughly than usual: ankles and knees tied down, lying on her back with her wrists bound overhead. She had a blindfold, a gag, and her toes were bent back. I used a hairbrush on her feet, pulling no punches. She started to wail, as soon as I had started. We had agreed to stop at one minute, to ask her how she was doing. But clearly by the sounds she was making, she wouldn't be able to take it, so I took it upon myself to stop at 30 seconds. I took off the gag, and the first thing she told me was to untie her. She was calm, not freaking out, but she sounded uncomfortable. I removed all the bonds; she was trembling and breathing fast like she was terrified, I had never seen her so afraid. She jumped into my arms, and made me promise not to do that ever again. We cuddled talked about it for a while, and she said that basically she had never felt so helpless in her life.

Distress. It's what I, as a tickler, like inflicting. I enjoyed this session very much, no matter how short it was. And I have been thinking about it ever since: it was the moment I discovered in actual, live conditions, how much tickling can be a form of psychological torture to a ticklish person. My wife says that the moment she understood she could go nowhere, and do nothing to alleviate the sensation that was overwhelming her senses, she felt like an abyss was opening underneath her feet. It must be a very special and frightening sensation. A friend of mine who's into S&M with zero tickling experience told me that it was precisely the point where I should have pushed her harder. Continue for the whole agreed-upon minute, so she could - and I quote - "go beyond her limits". I think it was very poor advice, which may work in the context of BDSM, I dunno, but not in the case I was experiencing.

Beautiful, ticklish women who enjoy being tickled like my wife are rare. We're lucky when we find them. But I wonder what the odds are that such a person would accept to actually be tortured (again, please don't argue with me on the semantics). They must be very low. Everyone has a limit, and I discovered hers that day.

Hence the paradox. We crave for ticklishness. We dream of driving our 'lees out of their minds. Breaking them. Reducing them to a panting, babbling mess, afraid of the slightest touch. I know I do. But in a consensual context, there are limits to what your partner can take. We have to explore them, and then find a balance. It is fun, but it is also a daunting prospect for those of us who are still looking for their perfect partner, in a "be careful what you wish for" kind of way. As far as know, few people enjoy being "tortured". At least I never met any. But on the other hand, I've met tons of girls who would never accept to even be casually tickled, in spite of their bodies harboring treasures of ticklishness. And many more, who are somewhere in between.

How we resolve this paradox is directly correlated to the satisfaction of our so peculiar kink. At least, that's my take on it.

I see what you mean. You definitely did the right thing not to continue if she didn't want you to. I say that as a lee. You're extremely lucky to have her, and it sounds like you have a lot of fun with her. It's just about respecting the other person's wishes and limits, and to also keep the communication going. It's good to take little breaks, just to check in on how the person's doing. It's just important to take the other person's pleasure and enjoyment into account when you're seeking out your own .

Sorry, no paradox here.
Never felt the burning desire to make someone feel genuinely scared, or threatened, or uncomfortable; it's a turn-off to me.
I've stuck to playing with people who genuinely enjoyed it, and once their boundaries are respected, they're the ones who will ask to push them.
I've just never seen this as something to be inflicted on someone else.

I've never felt that desire. I love the feeling I get from being a lee or ler as long as it's playful and sensual. As soon as I see it become similar to torture whatever positive feelings I was having disappear and I start to feel very uncomfortable watching it.

Wolf said:

Sorry, no paradox here.
Never felt the burning desire to make someone feel genuinely scared, or threatened, or uncomfortable; it's a turn-off to me.
I've stuck to playing with people who genuinely enjoyed it, and once their boundaries are respected, they're the ones who will ask to push them.
I've just never seen this as something to be inflicted on someone else.

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I thought my post made that fairly clear, but I am gonna say it again: me neither. Save for the occasional tickle attack on siblings, classmates and other friends, all the tickling which has occurred in my life has taken place it a consensual context. And I intend to keep it that way. But just like in S&M, bondage play, shibari and whatever, there's an amount of distress in our fetish which some lees find pleasurable. And the more ticklish the 'lee is, usually the highest the distress is.

That's where I find the paradox to be lying: we want very ticklish 'lees, but the more ticklish a woman is, the most likely she will be to find the experience unpleasant. Which is no good, because we want to tickle them. So we hope to find 'lees who can both find it unbearable AND enjoyable. Just like being spanked hurts, but the people who are into that love it.

As for me personally, there is no denying that there is a sadistic streak to my fantasies, and it surely influences my view of our fetish. I am also into other things besides tickling; I like torture scenes in movies, and I am not indifferent to the work of our most sadistic artists, such as FTKL, Shock, Augustine... Scenes of desperation, or of humiliation, also hold a particular appeal to me. But then again, there are fantasies and there is real life! My sessions with my wife look more like Chicago's This Feeling in my Bones than Shock's Keri's training, I assure you

redheadlady said:

I see what you mean. You definitely did the right thing not to continue if she didn't want you to. I say that as a lee. You're extremely lucky to have her, and it sounds like you have a lot of fun with her. It's just about respecting the other person's wishes and limits, and to also keep the communication going. It's good to take little breaks, just to check in on how the person's doing. It's just important to take the other person's pleasure and enjoyment into account when you're seeking out your own .

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I feel lucky every day. We have been together for a long time before we got married, and have grown with each other. Tickling was part of this relationship from day one, and we have always practiced it in playful, respectful manner. The play can get rough some time (and she does get her revenge ) but there was never a time when any of us went beyond what the other person was willing to accept.

Also, I totally got what you meant, but I never look at it as "seeking my own pleasure at her expense". I don't take any pleasure seeing the love of my life not enjoying herself; in fact I can only take pleasure knowing that she is having fun (even though there can be a fair amount of cursing/begging/thrashing during sessions ).

Ticklers are not monolithic. Different people enjoy different aspects of it, and to differing degrees. All I'm saying is that talking about what "we" all like is a mistaken generalization.

Tenebrae, I think that you are a great husband to your wife and one of the wisest ticklers on the web. Your advice is second to none and even as a sadist you do seem to have a heart. It's always good to know where the line is and to acknowledge that there is a line and to be as careful as possible not to cross that line. Bravo.

Laughthirsty Lr said:

Tenebrae, I think that you are a great husband to your wife and one of the wisest ticklers on the web. Your advice is second to none and even as a sadist you do seem to have a heart. It's always good to know where the line is and to acknowledge that there is a line and to be as careful as possible not to cross that line. Bravo.

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Awww thank you I don't think I deserve that much praise, but it's always nice to feel appreciated

It's funny to read this today because last night I got into a huge fight with my wife about something trivial and not fetish-related. I should show her your post when I am home cause right now I do not think she thinks of me that highly lol

Tenebrae said:

I've been wanting to write this for quite a while.

We love ticklish 'lees. Like, the more ticklish, the better, right? I don't know for you, but I love the idea of reducing a woman to a complete wreck after minutes of stroking her feet. It's awesome. Especially if she is a rather strong woman, physically or personality-wise, there is something of a power play when exploiting someone's ticklishness that is simply a blast.

However, there's a catch. For a person that ticklish, being tied up and submitted to more than a handful of seconds of tickling is torture. I am not gonna argue that she'd prefer to have her nails pulled or being sawn in half, of course not. But it is still a very intense experience. So, unless she is very masochistic, chances are the experience will be too intense for your very ticklish 'lee.

Case in point: my wife. She's very ticklish, insanely so. And she's ticklish everywhere: her neck, her sides, her underarms, the back of her knees... Hell, I can even tickle her by stroking her forearms; I'm not kidding. Her feet alone probably have ten weak spots, including between her toes. You should hear her giggle when she gets a massage or a pedicure, it's adorable

She likes being tickled too. And we're doing that practically daily, whether it is a quick morning tickle fight after the alarm rang, a poke to the side before going to work to remind the other to pick up the keys, or more elaborate, erotic tickling while we make love. It's part of our life, neither the focus of it, nor a marginal part, somewhere in the middle. Neither of us could imagine our life without it.

We also do bondage. She loves to be tied up. One day I took it a bit further (with her consent), by restraining her more thoroughly than usual: ankles and knees tied down, lying on her back with her wrists bound overhead. She had a blindfold, a gag, and her toes were bent back. I used a hairbrush on her feet, pulling no punches. She started to wail, as soon as I had started. We had agreed to stop at one minute, to ask her how she was doing. But clearly by the sounds she was making, she wouldn't be able to take it, so I took it upon myself to stop at 30 seconds. I took off the gag, and the first thing she told me was to untie her. She was calm, not freaking out, but she sounded uncomfortable. I removed all the bonds; she was trembling and breathing fast like she was terrified, I had never seen her so afraid. She jumped into my arms, and made me promise not to do that ever again. We cuddled talked about it for a while, and she said that basically she had never felt so helpless in her life.

Distress. It's what I, as a tickler, like inflicting. I enjoyed this session very much, no matter how short it was. And I have been thinking about it ever since: it was the moment I discovered in actual, live conditions, how much tickling can be a form of psychological torture to a ticklish person. My wife says that the moment she understood she could go nowhere, and do nothing to alleviate the sensation that was overwhelming her senses, she felt like an abyss was opening underneath her feet. It must be a very special and frightening sensation. A friend of mine who's into S&M with zero tickling experience told me that it was precisely the point where I should have pushed her harder. Continue for the whole agreed-upon minute, so she could - and I quote - "go beyond her limits". I think it was very poor advice, which may work in the context of BDSM, I dunno, but not in the case I was experiencing.

Beautiful, ticklish women who enjoy being tickled like my wife are rare. We're lucky when we find them. But I wonder what the odds are that such a person would accept to actually be tortured (again, please don't argue with me on the semantics). They must be very low. Everyone has a limit, and I discovered hers that day.

Hence the paradox. We crave for ticklishness. We dream of driving our 'lees out of their minds. Breaking them. Reducing them to a panting, babbling mess, afraid of the slightest touch. I know I do. But in a consensual context, there are limits to what your partner can take. We have to explore them, and then find a balance. It is fun, but it is also a daunting prospect for those of us who are still looking for their perfect partner, in a "be careful what you wish for" kind of way. As far as know, few people enjoy being "tortured". At least I never met any. But on the other hand, I've met tons of girls who would never accept to even be casually tickled, in spite of their bodies harboring treasures of ticklishness. And many more, who are somewhere in between.

How we resolve this paradox is directly correlated to the satisfaction of our so peculiar kink. At least, that's my take on it.

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First of all, I never understood the use of a gag for ticklees. It could make it difficult for her breath, and not hearing her laughter takes a lot of enjoyment out of it for me. Not crazy about the blindfold either. I want to be able to see her entire(hopefully) lovely face as she's laughing and pleading. But since you're into hardcore S&M(which I've never been interested in) I can see where this could be an issue

Since I'm not an S&M guy(so I may not be objective) I'd say try to let this go for now, and be satisfied w/what you have.
You have a beautiful wife who loves being tickled. Do you realize how many guys on this forum(myself included) would love to trade places w/you? Would fantasizing about that session when you're intimate w/her be sufficient for now? After all it's your brain, not your genitals, that's your most powerful sex organ

If the sadistic element is that important to you maybe you can discuss w/her, but she sounded traumatised during the experience, so I wouldn't count on her partipation anytime soon, if at all. Maybe tie her up and start off w/gentle tickling or massage, and gradually work up to more intense sessions. Dump the ballgag at first and let her breath. I'd have to think not being able to catch her breath had a lot to do w/her freaking out.

I guess you could always visit a BDSM dungeon or fetish gathering to get your S&M fix, if it's that vital to you. But if you consider going that route, tell her up front, don't sneak around behind her back.

Whatever you do, don't listen to your S&M friend. You did the right thing respecting your wife's limits. Think how betrayed, and violated she would've felt if you'd pushed her further.

This is where I'm different than some I guess. My wife had ticklish feet, but not over the top ticklish. I have found this to be an ideal situation because while I'm doing my thing with her feet, it does tickle, and I get reactions from her, it's not unbearable, therefore she's willing to indulge me very frequently. Also, I'm not into bondage, preferring to simply lock her ankles between my thighs, or just have her ankles on my chest and play away. I have had a special opportunity to tickle a young lady, no bondage, but I oiled her feet and used a hairbrush, and it was electric! She said it was border line sadistic, but she didn't mind, she's a sub personality. So I say, what ever works for you and your partner, enjoy the special gift, and always respect limits!

Tenebrae said:

I used a hairbrush on her feet, pulling no punches. She started to wail, as soon as I had started. We had agreed to stop at one minute, to ask her how she was doing. But clearly by the sounds she was making, she wouldn't be able to take it, so I took it upon myself to stop at 30 seconds. I took off the gag, and the first thing she told me was to untie her. She was calm, not freaking out, but she sounded uncomfortable. I removed all the bonds; she was trembling and breathing fast like she was terrified, I had never seen her so afraid. She jumped into my arms, and made me promise not to do that ever again. We cuddled talked about it for a while, and she said that basically she had never felt so helpless in her life.

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That's the key here! You MUST be cognizant of your 'lee and how they're doing! If you traumatize them, your fun with them will be over forever! They will never trust you enough to ever let you bind them again. And with good reason! Their safety and comfort is paramount!

magic fingers said:

Since I'm not an S&M guy(so I may not be objective) I'd say try to let this go for now, and be satisfied w/what you have.
You have a beautiful wife who loves being tickled. Do you realize how many guys on this forum(myself included) would love to trade places w/you? Would fantasizing about that session when you're intimate w/her be sufficient for now? After all it's your brain, not your genitals, that's your most powerful sex organ

If the sadistic element is that important to you maybe you can discuss w/her, but she sounded traumatised during the experience, so I wouldn't count on her partipation anytime soon, if at all. Maybe tie her up and start off w/gentle tickling or massage, and gradually work up to more intense sessions. Dump the ballgag at first and let her breath. I'd have to think not being able to catch her breath had a lot to do w/her freaking out.

I guess you could always visit a BDSM dungeon or fetish gathering to get your S&M fix, if it's that vital to you. But if you consider going that route, tell her up front, don't sneak around behind her back.

Whatever you do, don't listen to your S&M friend. You did the right thing respecting your wife's limits. Think how betrayed, and violated she would've felt if you'd pushed her further.

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robmic said:

That's the key here! You MUST be cognizant of your 'lee and how they're doing! If you traumatize them, your fun with them will be over forever! They will never trust you enough to ever let you bind them again. And with good reason! Their safety and comfort is paramount!

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I fully agree with this advice. However, I can sympathise with having additional cravings for other things as well and having a burning desire to mix and match but, the good part was that even though you did take it a bit too far, you were trying to be careful and you relented when you knew that something wasn't right. I understand the whole power/control thing and that plays a big role in S&M just like loving to hear a lee beg for mercy is music to a ticklers ears but, like I said before, when the line became visible to you, you stopped yourself instead of being cruel or selfish about it and that is a good thing. Just think how many guys and even girls there are out there who DON'T let up. Ever. No matter what. It happens and I have no doubt that it ruins people's lives. I still think that you used good judgement in the end but, part of it may also have been that you over did the bondage a little, making it more difficult for her to struggle. Being able to struggle some is just as important as the desire to want to beg for mercy because it helps the 'lee to endure the tickling more comfortably. As apetizing as heavy bondage can be to those who are in to it, it can make some people feel trapped or even claustrophobic and some phobias ARE inherited. My father was claustrophobic and I didn't become that way until I got into my 40's. The human mind is a very complex thing that we still don't fully understand yet and though it can (for some) endure incredible suffering and recover in part or in whole, it can also be very frail and easily destroyed and that's something that I never want to witness or hear about but, anyway, like I said. You knew when to quit because you obviously do have compassion and respect for another's well being.

Thanks for the advice! You've obviously given this quite some thought. Let me clarify a few things, though.

magic fingers said:

First of all, I never understood the use of a gag for ticklees. It could make it difficult for her breath, and not hearing her laughter takes a lot of enjoyment out of it for me. Not crazy about the blindfold either. I want to be able to see her entire(hopefully) lovely face as she's laughing and pleading. But since you're into hardcore S&M(which I've never been interested in) I can see where this could be an issue

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I wouldn't say I am into hardcore S&M, nor would I qualify as such the use of gags and blindfolds (more on that later). However there is definitely a sadistic streak to me. I could write entire essays about that, but basically, I love to see women suffer. Or lose control. Which is why I am attracted to tickling in the first place: I like the idea that it is an unbearable touch. You could say that I am into torture, and that tickling is my favorite form thereof.

I have friends who are into S&M and I find I am very different from them. The advice my friend gave me actually illustrates one point of difference: those people see the pain as a sort of challenge, to be overcome. Try to resist until they reach the point when they safeword out of the session. Tickling is actually more than suitable for this type of challenge, but it is not the core of my practice. What interests me is the activity itself, the effect it has on ticklish women, regardless of duration.

Some other S&M people are into total subordination of their sub. I don't know if there is a word for it, but basically the sub has no will of her own. She must ask permission for everything, even eating her damn breakfast in the morning! I fail to see the appeal in that; I like my women strong and willful, not submissive in a daily context. And more importantly, I like to draw a clear line between our private games in the privacy of our room, and the rest of our lives.

Gags are fun, because they make the 'lee unable to communicate and accentuate her vulnerability. Also, they bring much relief when you are tickling a screamer As for blindfolds, they increase ticklishness and anguish, because the victim does not know where the attack is gonna come from and which form it is gonna take. Sometimes, it can be a lot of fun: I highly recommend that your 'lee tries it once at least!

magic fingers said:

Since I'm not an S&M guy(so I may not be objective) I'd say try to let this go for now, and be satisfied w/what you have.
You have a beautiful wife who loves being tickled. Do you realize how many guys on this forum(myself included) would love to trade places w/you? Would fantasizing about that session when you're intimate w/her be sufficient for now? After all it's your brain, not your genitals, that's your most powerful sex organ

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Don't worry, I am not obsessed with this. I've discovered her limit and I won't cross it. I am aware that I am lucky to have found a wonderful wife, who's beautiful, charming, supportive and headstrong. Ticklish also. Insanely ticklish. She never believes me when I say it, but short of her sometimes a tad bit too fiery temper and the few cultural gaps still existing between us, she is really the ideal woman.

That being said, you might be idealizing my situation. There are many people on this forum who are in happy marriages and whose spouse is just as sexually compatible with them as mine is. Hell, some people I know even have met on this forum before tying the knot. There are many beautiful stories around here; I am just a young guy like many others who made a happy marriage

magic fingers said:

If the sadistic element is that important to you maybe you can discuss w/her, but she sounded traumatised during the experience, so I wouldn't count on her partipation anytime soon, if at all. Maybe tie her up and start off w/gentle tickling or massage, and gradually work up to more intense sessions. Dump the ballgag at first and let her breath. I'd have to think not being able to catch her breath had a lot to do w/her freaking out.

I guess you could always visit a BDSM dungeon or fetish gathering to get your S&M fix, if it's that vital to you. But if you consider going that route, tell her up front, don't sneak around behind her back.

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Thank you for the concern Don't worry, she is fine! She is not traumatized at all, but the experience did leave a lasting impression on both of us. She enjoys bondage very much, and has the recurring fantasy of being strung up Japanese-style if you see what I mean, so severe bondage is actually something that she craves for in itself. For me, it's just a tool I use to tie up women so I can TICKLE THE HELL OUTTA THEM lol Tickling is really my core fantasy, and as long as we have that in our life (as we do now), there won't be any problem on my part. I get my torture fix by watching movies (the Expendables for example has a very nice water torture scene), or simply by fantasizing (and I have a crazy imagination).

My wife also has a 'ler side. Actually, we were discussing that last Friday over dinner and when I said I estimate myself to be 70% 'ler and 30% 'lee, she said: "Well, I am 90% 'ler. But in front of you I am a total 'lee " What she meant by that was that she loves to tickle (especially me) but she cannot imagine being tickled by anyone else but me. We have this fantasy of one day tickling a girl together; we'd both love that very much. I've done it before but never with her.

Maybe that'd be the moment to take your advice and visit a dungeon? I hate the idea to pay to tickle; it kinda takes the fun and I daresay subversive side out of it, but maybe just to try once? Otherwise, we're talking about going to NEST some time. There's many friends there I'd like to meet, but there's no way my wife is gonna let anyone but me tickle her

magic fingers said:

Whatever you do, don't listen to your S&M friend. You did the right thing respecting your wife's limits. Think how betrayed, and violated she would've felt if you'd pushed her further.

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I completely agree with you. Fortunately, I am not blind: when I see my love in discomfort, wouldn't listen to anyone but her. But I believe him to have been honest: from his perspective that's probably what S&M people do. I don't know, because I am not one. But in the context I presented, it was indeed very poor advice. We're still friends; he came around for a beer the other day. Only when I told my wife what he suggested I had done, she joked she was gonna castrate him

I have a piece of advice too: never piss off a Chinese woman. Ever! Trust me on this: just don't

okdremur said:

This is where I'm different than some I guess. My wife had ticklish feet, but not over the top ticklish. I have found this to be an ideal situation because while I'm doing my thing with her feet, it does tickle, and I get reactions from her, it's not unbearable, therefore she's willing to indulge me very frequently. Also, I'm not into bondage, preferring to simply lock her ankles between my thighs, or just have her ankles on my chest and play away. I have had a special opportunity to tickle a young lady, no bondage, but I oiled her feet and used a hairbrush, and it was electric! She said it was border line sadistic, but she didn't mind, she's a sub personality. So I say, what ever works for you and your partner, enjoy the special gift, and always respect limits!

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Lol that's interesting: she is not ticklish enough for it to be torture, but she is ticklish enough for you to take pleasure "playing" with her. So in a way, your wife's sensitivity offers you a self-contained resolution to the paradox I was pointing out.

Kudos to her!

And I'll say it again: always, always respect limits!

Laughthirsty Lr said:

I fully agree with this advice. However, I can sympathise with having additional cravings for other things as well and having a burning desire to mix and match but, the good part was that even though you did take it a bit too far, you were trying to be careful and you relented when you knew that something wasn't right. I understand the whole power/control thing and that plays a big role in S&M just like loving to hear a lee beg for mercy is music to a ticklers ears but, like I said before, when the line became visible to you, you stopped yourself instead of being cruel or selfish about it and that is a good thing. Just think how many guys and even girls there are out there who DON'T let up. Ever. No matter what. It happens and I have no doubt that it ruins people's lives. I still think that you used good judgement in the end but, part of it may also have been that you over did the bondage a little, making it more difficult for her to struggle. Being able to struggle some is just as important as the desire to want to beg for mercy because it helps the 'lee to endure the tickling more comfortably. As apetizing as heavy bondage can be to those who are in to it, it can make some people feel trapped or even claustrophobic and some phobias ARE inherited. My father was claustrophobic and I didn't become that way until I got into my 40's. The human mind is a very complex thing that we still don't fully understand yet and though it can (for some) endure incredible suffering and recover in part or in whole, it can also be very frail and easily destroyed and that's something that I never want to witness or hear about but, anyway, like I said. You knew when to quit because you obviously do have compassion and respect for another's well being.

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I hear what you say and you are right.

However I'd like to point out that heavy bondage can sometimes be a measure of safety. As I said above, it is not the bondage itself that turns me on, it's the tickling. However, there MUST be restrictive bondage when engaging into intense tickling for fear of the 'lee hurting herself. Or you. Have you ever gotten accidentally headbutted, elbowed or kicked in the groin by flailing limbs? I have

Also there is this one day back in primary school when I tickled a girl from behind while she was sitting at her desk. I had just poked her sides for one second, but in her reflexive attempt to escape, she slammed her head town on the desk; she didn't get hurt at all, and there were no repercussions for me, but all my friends thereafter nick-named me "the tickle assassin" and later on the "tickle ninja" when I took up martial arts

You make good points and yes I have been kicked and bondage is a great way to eliminate the probability of that happening. I don't see bondage as simply light and heavy though. I feel that there are different degrees of tightness and immobility just as there are varying degrees of ticklishness. I for one dig heavy bondage but, I do feel that there be room for just slight movement like maybe an inch or two in this direction or that direction but, not far enough to dodge the tickling effectively. Didn't mean to come across as one who prefers light bondage. I really hate watching videos were stock holes are as big around as a Whopper sandwich or a hog tie is so lose that the lee can reach around to her sides or try to push the ler's fingers away. On a different note though, have you written any stories? The way you talk and seem to have so much knowledge and insight, you sound to me like an author.

Laughthirsty Lr said:

You make good points and yes I have been kicked and bondage is a great way to eliminate the probability of that happening. I don't see bondage as simply light and heavy though. I feel that there are different degrees of tightness and immobility just as there are varying degrees of ticklishness. I for one dig heavy bondage but, I do feel that there be room for just slight movement like maybe an inch or two in this direction or that direction but, not far enough to dodge the tickling effectively. Didn't mean to come across as one who prefers light bondage. I really hate watching videos were stock holes are as big around as a Whopper sandwich or a hog tie is so lose that the lee can reach around to her sides or try to push the ler's fingers away.

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Me too, bro. I cannot stand those "fake but pretending to be genuine" videos. The whopper sandwich comparison made me lol. I do not mind either when the girl has some leeway, and usually my wife does. Sometimes I don't even tie her up, typically when we're in bed together in the morning or late at night. That day I described though we had wanted to try something different.

And you're right, it was a gross simplification on my part to summarize bondage as "heavy" or "light" but I just wanted to get my point across without too much description. My point was long enough and might have frightened off a bunch of people already

Laughthirsty Lr said:

On a different note though, have you written any stories? The way you talk and seem to have so much knowledge and insight, you sound to me like an author.

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Matter of fact I have! Good guess, Mister Detective I am indeed an author of both vanilla and fetish fiction. I got my first short story published when I was 17 and been writing ever since. You can read what I have written in English for CAB on my deviantART, and I have some other as of yet unpublished English stories in stock.

Thank you for the compliments

Tenebrae said:

Matter of fact I have! Good guess, Mister Detective I am indeed an author of both vanilla and fetish fiction. I got my first short story published when I was 17 and been writing ever since. You can read what I have written in English for CAB on my deviantART, and I have some other as of yet unpublished English stories in stock. Thank you for the compliments

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I think that's really cool. I've been thinking about writing some stories myself but, I'm still relatively inexperienced and feel that I really should buckle down and study more and maybe even take some classes before I get serious.
Actually I'm working on one right now but, I'm a little nervous about posting it. It's a work of fiction with an element of truth in it and I'm just not sure that I'm ready for anyone else to see that yet. Is this normal?

Laughthirsty Lr said:

I think that's really cool. I've been thinking about writing some stories myself but, I'm still relatively inexperienced and feel that I really should buckle down and study more and maybe even take some classes before I get serious.

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It is a strange activity, writing stories. I can never decide myself whether it is an art, like painting or sculpting, because it is indeed a creative endeavor; or a craft, as in crafting furniture or repairing stuff, because there is a definite technical aspect to it. Sometimes I feel like a mechanic, tweaking my sentences for maximum effect. Other times I feel more like an artist trying to bring a world to life. It's complicated.

I believe no one is born a writer. We have more or less talent for it, but part of it is definitely an acquired skill. Grammar can't be just "guessed", it must be studied, especially in my case because I am a non-native speaker who tries sometimes (with varying degrees of success) to write in English.

Taking classes? Honestly, that's a new one for me. I am not sure it is something you can learn by sitting in front of a teacher. I mean, it's good to take advice, but I think authors are so different that what works for one might not work for another. It is a personal journey. Also, I am not aware of any successful writer who would have learned his trade through attending "writing school" if that even exists.

If I can give you a piece of advice, it would be twofold:

1) Read as much as you can. Books, and especially a) the classics b) the ones you like.

2) Try to find some time every day to write what you wanna write. If you like movies, then write reviews. If you like fiction, then write just that. The key is to practice every day; I myself try my best to churn out at the very least 1000 words every day. Discipline and practice are really important IMO.

Laughthirsty Lr said:

Actually I'm working on one right now but, I'm a little nervous about posting it. It's a work of fiction with an element of truth in it and I'm just not sure that I'm ready for anyone else to see that yet. Is this normal?

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It is very normal, and sometimes the work is just not good enough for one to feel confident to publish it. Personally though, I don't like writing for myself. I like my ideas better in my head anyway; if I make the effort to write something down, it means that I have the idea that someone else, somehow will read it. Even if you do not publish here (you don't have too, and besides the presentation is not very suitable), try to get people to read your stories. Listen carefully to their feedback, especially if you hear the same from different people. Always remember that something may move you deeply on a personal level, but it might not work for 99% of people. The key to good writing is to move others, not to use the page as a self-congratulatory exercise of masturbation.

At least, that's my take on it.

Tenebrae said:

It is a strange activity, writing stories. I can never decide myself whether it is an art, like painting or sculpting, because it is indeed a creative endeavor; or a craft, as in crafting furniture or repairing stuff, because there is a definite technical aspect to it. Sometimes I feel like a mechanic, tweaking my sentences for maximum effect. Other times I feel more like an artist trying to bring a world to life. It's complicated.

I believe no one is born a writer. We have more or less talent for it, but part of it is definitely an acquired skill. Grammar can't be just "guessed", it must be studied, especially in my case because I am a non-native speaker who tries sometimes (with varying degrees of success) to write in English.

Taking classes? Honestly, that's a new one for me. I am not sure it is something you can learn by sitting in front of a teacher. I mean, it's good to take advice, but I think authors are so different that what works for one might not work for another. It is a personal journey. Also, I am not aware of any successful writer who would have learned his trade through attending "writing school" if that even exists.

If I can give you a piece of advice, it would be twofold:

1) Read as much as you can. Books, and especially a) the classics b) the ones you like.

2) Try to find some time every day to write what you wanna write. If you like movies, then write reviews. If you like fiction, then write just that. The key is to practice every day; I myself try my best to churn out at the very least 1000 words every day. Discipline and practice are really important IMO.



It is very normal, and sometimes the work is just not good enough for one to feel confident to publish it. Personally though, I don't like writing for myself. I like my ideas better in my head anyway; if I make the effort to write something down, it means that I have the idea that someone else, somehow will read it. Even if you do not publish here (you don't have too, and besides the presentation is not very suitable), try to get people to read your stories. Listen carefully to their feedback, especially if you hear the same from different people. Always remember that something may move you deeply on a personal level, but it might not work for 99% of people. The key to good writing is to move others, not to use the page as a self-congratulatory exercise of masturbation.

At least, that's my take on it.

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Thank you, Ten for that marvelous advice. I started out writing that story, with an audience in mind and gradually started revealing more and more truthful things then, got to thinking about it one day and was like "I can't put that out there! What was I thinking??". So, I've just decided that after it's finished, I'll just move on to something simpler that is more fiction focused and to the point. I understand the whole thing about tweaking sentences to sound just right. As a kid in school spelling and English were my strong points. I can't tell you how amusing it was for the slacker kid to whoop ass in spelling bees and the satisfaction of seeing the popular kids looking confused over what had just happened.
I like what Stephen King said about writing having to do with a love for words. I thought that was really cool. Who are your favorite authors?

I am really glad if what I said has somehow helped you. Writing is both a very personal and a very lonely thing, so we need all the help we can get

I would like to answer your question, but I'll do it in a PM, because I feel we are derailing this thread by now

I cannot resist reposting this cute John Kovalic cartoon though; I'll bet you'll find much wisdom in it:

Tenebrae said:

I would like to answer your question, but I'll do it in a PM, because I feel we are derailing this thread by now

I cannot resist reposting this cute John Kovalic cartoon though; I'll bet you'll find much wisdom in it:

View attachment 543538 View attachment 543539

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Yes. You're quite right. I didn't mean to drag the subject this far off track. I just haven't used any kind of forum in at least the last five years so, I'm kind of having to relearn how to go about it.

Okay, back to the original subject.