Thinking of attending a gathering, need advice

I've been on the TMF for a few years, and so far I am really liking the people I found here. I am thinking more and more of traveling to the US some time to meet with some of you. And since I cannot travel there very often, I have been toying with the idea of attending one of those big gatherings people talk about, so as to maximize the encounters. Plus, it could prove out to be fun. I know a woman on the French forum who has attended NEST and she absolutely loved it, although she wouldn't tell much about it except the people were nice and respectful. She also said the event was woman-friendly (?) and there was something about a... hug, whatever that is? Her brief account gave it a very "secret society" kind of feeling which I think is a tad concerning, but other than that she seemed to have only praise for it.

I've been reading up about it, on dedicated threads. Apparently, the event which gathers the most people from the forum (and thus most of my friends) would be NEST. I forgot the exact location, maybe it moves around, but since NE stands for North East, I guess it is around the New-York or Maine area (off the top of my head, the most Northeastern locations I can think of)?

I don't think I'd be going to the US for the sole purpose of attending a gathering. But since I've got friends there, I could try to combine the two and meet with people on both sides of the mirror. My friends are scattered around, though. I personally always wanted to visit Texas (I love the culture there, and I could meet my pal Bugman) and California (Hollywood appeal, plus my buddy february7 lives there), and I've got very good vanilla friends in Pennsylvania, so I guess I would be visiting these areas in priority. Are there any gatherings worth attending there?

I think at least on my first visit I would be there mainly to meet people, especially the ones I have interacted with on this forum before. That'd be the main interest. I'd also like to meet with some MTJ artists and have them sign a drawing or a story; that'd be awesome! Playing is not out of the question, but it'd have to be on my terms. I sure as hell don't wanna get kidnapped or something.

See, I am thinking of going with my wife. First so that I wouldn't be alone there, and also because I'd rather play with her rather than with anyone else. Or even better, that we tickled a third person together. Either way, she is quite taken by the idea of going there with me. But I don't want people to feel like, you know, I am bringing fresh meat on the market or something. And more importantly, I don't want her to feel this way. I want people to treat her respectfully. For those of you who attend those gatherings, have you ever brought a spouse along? How did that work out for you? How do you make sure they remain safe and happy the whole time? All of the gathering accounts I read (mainly NEST) have been of single people going.

I am literally a total noob in this. I have no idea how those gatherings work, which ones are the most interesting (I guess it depends on personal expectations) and whether it's a good idea to attend at all if you just wanna meetup with your favorite TMFers. Especially as a foreigner. But hey, I figured I could ask

NEST is in Philidalphia in the Spring, and it never moves.
I would collar your wife. It’s a pretty well known symbol of being off limit. Also, NEST emphasizes having consent for all play.

Good luck!