Consensual vs. Non-consensual. What do you prefer?

TickleBelly98 · Dec 15, 2017

I'm curious: which one do you like more, a girl who you tickle non-consensually or a girl who asks for it? I personally prefer it when a girl WANTS me to tickle her, but that's a lot rarer than tickling a girl without her permission. A lot of people seem to preferthe non-consensual, which I get, in a way.

Very curious about your opinions!

solleticosoffro · Dec 15, 2017

Consensual ans willing tickling all the way!

Secretlee · Dec 15, 2017

While I’m not all that much of a tickler, with any tickling I’m involved in I want it to be consensual. If it’s not enjoyable (in some way) for both people, I don’t really enjoy it.

Manowar31 · Dec 15, 2017

Realistically - consensual! She doesn't need to want it, but at least be ok with.

Fantasy? - Non-consensual all the way!! >

Taliesin · Dec 15, 2017

I think there's an important distinction to make, as to whether it's fantasy (clips, stories, RP) or actual real-life situations. I know many people who fantasize about non-con, but would never actually touch somebody else without permission in actuality.

That said, I honestly enjoy consensual, which can make perusing stories online difficult for me, as an overwhelming majority seem to be of the non-con variety. So this is an interesting question.

Wade · Dec 15, 2017

All the tickling I've ever been involved with, or witness to, has been of the vanilla/platonic/playful variety -- generally the kind of stuff people who wouldn't frequent a board like this do -- and as such it's always 100% non-consensual, which is what appeals to me.

Because tickling is something that people generally don't like to have done to them -- the instinctive physical response is one of aversion -- and something that people do to other people because they don't like it -- because that instinctive aversion response is amusingly paired with appealing laughter.

This doesn't mean tickling someone to the point of anger, or beyond endurance, or in spite of desperate pleas or miserable screams -- it just means that the ticklish person is saying "no NO don't" between the laughter, and the tickler is perpetrating it because of that response.

Of all the people who've ever tickled me in my life, all of them did it because of an expectation that I don't like it; if I'd said that I did like it, most of them would not have tickled me.

That playful, friendly, affectionate brand of non-consensual tickling is what I tend to prefer.

Maestro1874 · Dec 16, 2017

I’m pretty sure the word for non-consensual tickling in real life is “sexual assault.” That being said, rp non-con with a willing participant can be fun. (Interrogation games, etc.)

prankstersnlove · Dec 16, 2017

If it’s non-con joking around with friends that you know well and won’t fell like they are being assaulted by your touch and non-con with a random stranger. If your playing around and being funny with a friend I think non-con isn’t a big deal because, at least I’m assuming from my own experiences, both parties can laugh about it later. That’s the majority of tickling you see vinilla people engage in and is the “normal” tickling in every day life. But if you go up to a stranger in a mall or someone’s feet hanging out a car window that is triple plus not good.

robmic · Dec 16, 2017

Wade said:
All the tickling I've ever been involved with, or witness to, has been of the vanilla/platonic/playful variety -- generally the kind of stuff people who wouldn't frequent a board like this do -- and as such it's always 100% non-consensual, which is what appeals to me.

Because tickling is something that people generally don't like to have done to them -- the instinctive physical response is one of aversion -- and something that people do to other people because they don't like it -- because that instinctive aversion response is amusingly paired with appealing laughter.

This doesn't mean tickling someone to the point of anger, or beyond endurance, or in spite of desperate pleas or miserable screams -- it just means that the ticklish person is saying "no NO don't" between the laughter, and the tickler is perpetrating it because of that response.

Of all the people who've ever tickled me in my life, all of them did it because of an expectation that I don't like it; if I'd said that I did like it, most of them would not have tickled me.

That playful, friendly, affectionate brand of non-consensual tickling is what I tend to prefer.

I couldn't have said it much better myself! Most of the tickling I've done in my life has been what you would call "non-consensual". But, since I tend to tickle intensely for just short bursts, it's not too torturous to the 'lee. And all but a very few just laughed it off. I have had some that were willing participants, but while it was fun, it just didn't have the excitement of non-con.

maniactickler · Dec 16, 2017

If I'm tickling, then consensual. if I'm watching, then definitely non consensual.

matt62 · Dec 16, 2017

How about this for a theory (or am I trying to have my cake and eat it?): The most exciting and rewarding kind of tickling is the sort that skates on an ever-shifting borderline between consensual and non-con, where from instant to instant the consent is ambiguous.

Total non-consent from the Lee ends badly or doesn't get off the ground in the first place because their reactions are so hostile and tightened up.

But total consent that puts up no resistance and just loves it all as much as if they are having their favourite treat - well I find that a bit of a disappointment; there is just no tension or excitement. But not only that, isn't there a built-in resistance and defensiveness about a ticklish person's physical reactions when being tickled that is inseparable from a definition of tickling? (A bit like what Wade said above.)

So what I like best in a Lee is someone who has a masochistic side, and who is not at all sure that they "want" to be tickled, or maybe their body is actually screaming out that they DON'T want to be tickled, but they are also drawn to the experience despite themselves through some fascination with the sensations and with the feeling of being dominated.

Playing with that borderline - it's the essence of tickling for me.

ticklishess · Dec 16, 2017

My vote is for consensual. It's mentally gratifying to know someone is allowing this action, these hands, to trace their skin, exploit their most sensitive areas, at the expense of involentary laughter and sporatic bodily motions, and in the end still have them ask, "so, would you like to do this again?"

Mrcool · Dec 16, 2017

I'm a straight laced rebal ( if that makes sense ) I like to live on the wild side...as long as the wild side remains comfortable for said lee. I am always for consensual tickling rather then its non counterpart. Hell even in the chat I TRY AND RESCUE the lee if the tickling is non consensual.....hey if you can tickle someone over the internet I should be able to save them

tickling=feet · Dec 17, 2017

Maestro1874 said:
I’m pretty sure the word for non-consensual tickling in real life is “sexual assault.” That being said, rp non-con with a willing participant can be fun. (Interrogation games, etc.)

Exactly

Wade · Dec 17, 2017

robmic said:
Most of the tickling I've done in my life has been what you would call "non-consensual".

Which isn't surprising; in my experience, among the general populace "consensual tickling" is a rare (bordering on non-existent) phenomenon. No one's ever asked my permission before tickling me, and their tickling of me, even briefly, is always in defiance of my pleas for them to stop. And that's what all the ticklings I've witnessed have been like as well.

robmic · Dec 17, 2017

Wade said:
Which isn't surprising; in my experience, among the general populace "consensual tickling" is a rare (bordering on non-existent) phenomenon. No one's ever asked my permission before tickling me, and their tickling of me, even briefly, is always in defiance of my pleas for them to stop. And that's what all the ticklings I've witnessed have been like as well.

It's the "stop, no" that excites! Even if they don't really want it to stop, they can't help but to say it. I've fooled around with girls that had crushes on me that didn't stop me from tickling them even though they didn't really like being tickled. Not really consensual and not really non-consensual. But that "stop, noooo" was in there! Got my motor running! And they usually got what they wanted in the end by behaving that way. :shrug:

Bradhadair · Dec 17, 2017

Consent, always. Unless it’s an accidental tickle from poking someone or some such thing. At which point I will wickedly grin and start asking about their ticklishness. Consentual non consent can be pretty fun too.

GirlMeetsTickle · Dec 17, 2017

robmic said:
Not really consensual and not really non-consensual.

If it’s not consensual (including “not really consensual”), then it’s nonconsensual.

ichbins · Dec 17, 2017

This has given me some thought, sometimes. I had situations when I sort of "tricked" someone into letting them get tickled. E.g. I said: Theres this thing you can find out, if you figure out with how many fingers I stroke the sole of your foot. And whoever was there let me do it. Would you say this was non-con or inappropriate?

Wolf · Dec 17, 2017

GirlMeetsTickle said:
If it’s not consensual (including “not really consensual”), then it’s nonconsensual.

Right.
Every relationship (literally, the way in which any two people are connected, even strangers who are just in same area) has its own parameters of acceptable physical contact; the people in that relationship set the parameters, with body language, or straightforward communication. Any contact outside those parameters is non-consensual; it's really not hard to decipher whether someone wants you to touch them.

Ita24 · Dec 19, 2017

The people saying tickling is rarely consensual is one of the reasons I struggle in here. The only people I've had tickling experiences with was totally consensual. I mean there was no dialogue like "Can you tickle me?" But it was in situations where we both enjoyed it. If its not totally consensual it makes me uncomfortable, whether it's real life or fantasy. I hate seeing people beg for it to stop and then they keep going. Even if the begging is done in a playful manner, it still feels wrong to me. I've learned a lot in my studies about rape. I am not saying non consensual tickling is like rape. There is just so much about men not listening to women saying no because in their minds they've convinced themselves that when the women say no, they mean yes. I understand that in some cases, women will jokingly say no, but obviously want it to happen. There are plenty of cases of meaning no though
I've read too many blogs online from women who have been tickled relentlessly by men after they clearly and seriously said they didn't like it. Tickling is such a tough area to get a clear picture too, since it causes laughter and laughter is seen as a positive reaction, even when it's really not positive at all for some people. That's why I think listening to what they're saying means so much more with tickling. The fact that there are people that tickle harder after someone seriously tells them to stop scares me, and I'm a guy. I feel awful for women caught in those scenarios.

Teal · Dec 19, 2017

Maestro1874 said:
I’m pretty sure the word for non-consensual tickling in real life is “sexual assault.” That being said, rp non-con with a willing participant can be fun. (Interrogation games, etc.)

This a hundred times... some people in this thread are making me nervous.

hawkin · Dec 20, 2017

Non-con is simply hotter, because it's wrong.

ObsessedTickles · Dec 20, 2017

hawkin said:
Non-con is simply hotter, because it's wrong.

And that's the big appeal. Someone else in here said most of the tickling they've done has been non con. I'm willing to bet the vast majority of any tickling done (I'm talking by people into it or people who just do it to annoy or torture, etc) in the world is non consent on a big level. Tormenting siblings, or babysitters or friends, etc. That's how I got into it, pure and simple. I also absolutely agree consensual is hot on many levels too.

And like someone else said, it's mainly short bursts. Even determined lers who love to have someone pinned down for several minutes don't get those opportunities often, although I confess I have done things like that in college, etc, when the opportunity presented itself.

GirlMeetsTickle · Dec 20, 2017

Consensual tickling that would probably appear nonconsensual in the eyes of a vanilla who doesn’t realize the ler and lee are clear on boundaries and a safeword has been assigned.

Consensual vs. Non-consensual. What do you prefer?

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