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How far into a relationship before you tell them?

The second we get comfortable talking about sex, for the most part. It's not something I wanna spring on somebody, if it's a dealbreaker I'd rather break it off fairly early on.
 
Even if you don't say normally they understand.There is no specific time span as such.Depends on your equation with her.
 
Most people have one or two kinks nowadays.
When the relationship was at a point when we were talking about kinky likes and dislikes, I'd mention it then.
 
I'm a lee-leaning switch, and I'm so ticklish that the first makeout session almost always results in my partner accidentally tickling me. She'll apologize and I'll say it's OK and I enjoyed it. Usually she'll tickle me a little more after that because everyone has an inner ler once they accidentally tickle someone who says they don't mind. Then I'll tickle her right back and see how she reacts. Some giggle, some scream, some have no reaction. But I'm so ticklish that they all keep accidentally tickling me and they keep finding my ticklishness amusing. Once the trend has been established after a few dates, I'll confess that being tickled turns me on. Most girls I've confessed to quickly begin enjoying tickling me silly and don't think much of it at all.

that's harder is finding your way if you're mainly a ler. Accidental tickling happens all the time in foreplay, and that's an opportunity to start asking questions. Some people have been so traumatized that any tickling is unacceptable. A lot of the time, a woman will confess after the first accidental tickle that she has trauma related to tickling and you know to lay off. As your relationship develops and mutual trust builds, she may come to trust you enough to allow a little tickle play. It may build up to the point where she'll really let you make her scream.

If you get an early strongly negative reaction from your partner being tickled, ask about why it's such a big deal. Have a conversation about it. Share some of your own tickle trauma history (if you're ticklish, you've certainly had a moment where it went too far). How much of your kink you want to share is a play by ear game.

TLDR: Every partner is different when it comes to tickling and accidental tickles are an opportunity to start a casual conversation about the topic and establish boundaries. As trust builds, those boundaries will gradually expand.
 
Since I make a living making fetish videos, it gets broached pretty early on. Before that, I told them as early as I felt they were comfortable, so it varied, but I didn't wait too long. What's the point?
 
Usually by the second or third date, or whenever sex is first brought up, I'll be sure to mention that I have a tickling kink and that tickling is something I definitely will want to incorporate in our physical relationship. I am into both being the tickler and ticklee, so if a woman doesn't like being tickled but is willing to really tickle me (and get into it) that's fine, but I definitely prefer a relationship where both of us will be getting tickled senseless on the regular....
 
The second we get comfortable talking about sex, for the most part. It's not something I wanna spring on somebody, if it's a dealbreaker I'd rather break it off fairly early on.

What he said!
 
As soon as I can, within the first few dates. I'm not going to spring it on the first date, though if I happen to meet them through Fetlife they would know right away. :)
 
Right at the start, usually a bit before or after our first kiss. It depends on how conversations have proceeded; if I see a chance, I seize it. The earlier she understands who I am really am, the sooner we can be in an honest relationship, in my opinion.
 
My boyfriend and I met online, so he knew about it before we got together and was okay with it. Otherwise I agree that it should be early on.
 
right away! depending how important your fetish is to you , i'm sure you'll want to know if your projected partner will be on board with it 100%. Me personally , I never hid it..always up front right away. If they're accepting of it..great! if not , its over...why be with someone who doesn't accept everything about you as you would them? I told my wife about it the night we met..in a bar no less! Her response?..she took her heels off and put her feet in my lap so I can play! 15 years later....still tickling away with each other!
 
Is it really necessary to come out with a Grand Announcement?

Many a woman intellectually against the idea may well find it interesting/arousing when gently engaged in as a part of foreplay, if it's timed properly and in the early stages you can control your own intensity. Accessories can be added when and if things develop. This approach has served me very well in many past encounters.

As for my marriage, KT decided she liked it very much during our courtship, and now can sometimes orgasm from that alone.

She did however confide once that when a previous boyfriend tried it as she was cooking him dinner, she threatened him very seriously with a kitchen knife.

Timing, technique, confidence, and readiness of equipment is all-important, along with a girl open to the idea of 'variations'. She might not know she likes it until a bit of gentle experimention occurs.

And if it turns out to be a hard limit for her, console yourself that while you two may not be a good fit, at least you're one more encounter along the road to finding a 'keeper'.
 
With my boyfriend, I told him on our second date. We had kissed by that point and we had great chemistry and were attracted to one another, so it felt right to tell him. I asked him if he would have a problem with that and he said, of course not, and we explored it from there. I think if you feel like there's a spark between you two, then yes you should tell them as early as you can. I didn't want it to pose a problem later, for me to feel neglected that I wasn't get this.
 
right away! depending how important your fetish is to you , i'm sure you'll want to know if your projected partner will be on board with it 100%. Me personally , I never hid it..always up front right away. If they're accepting of it..great! if not , its over...why be with someone who doesn't accept everything about you as you would them? I told my wife about it the night we met..in a bar no less! Her response?..she took her heels off and put her feet in my lap so I can play! 15 years later....still tickling away with each other!

"be with someone who doesn't accept everything about you as you would them?"

I don't think it's always as simple as that. I mean if someone is a ler, and their SO hates being tickled, I wouldn't call that not accepting.
 
I wait until I've established two things:

1) There's a spark between us (which has lead to some sort of intimacy, first kiss etc)
2) There's trust between us on a personal level

Both of these I would hope to establish fairly early on in a relationship.

There will usually be times where accidental tickles happen during sexual contact/play-fighting and usually after you've kissed for the first time there's a natural progression that follows - you'll be keen to explore each other sexually and learn each others likes/dislikes. All of this makes discussing kinks much more comfortable a conversation because you've established chemistry, desire and have been physical with each other already, so it doesn't come as such an out-of-the-blue thing to say.
There's all sorts of low-drama ways of bringing it up before expanding on it. "I quite like tickling, it's fun / I actually find it a turn-on when you tickle me / I think it's sexy how ticklish you are"
So it doesn't need to be some sort of grand announcement and doesn't need to be brought up out of context.

But you do need trust as well. If there is a friendship bond developing alongside the physical one, then hopefully you'll feel you can trust that person to use the information in a proper way.


I've never had a relationship that's been purely sexual for the sake of being sexual and don't intend to...ie fuck buddy. but for argument's sake, I don't think I'd share my tickle kink with a person in this instance... which is probably why I don't get into relationships like this - I wouldn't find it fulfilling and I would feel a fraud trying to tickle someone without being honest about the affect it was having on me.

Of course, if your partner isn't ticklish, or reacts in an adverse way to tickling, that presents a different set of problems to work through before/after telling them - all covered in other threads on here!
 
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