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How to write a sure best-selling novel

milagros317

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Jan 12, 2002
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An earnest young man was enrolled in a creative writing class in London. The lecture that day was "Topics that will interest book store browsers to buy your novel."

"People who browse in bookstores looking for a novel they want to read," said the instructor, "generally read just the first paragraph, or perhaps just the first sentence, and then put your book down if they don't see a topic that interests them. Here are the topics of wide interest."

The instructor then wrote this list on the board:

1. The Royal Family
2. Sex
3. Money
4. Mystery
5. God or religion

The young man immediate wrote down the first sentence of a sure best-seller:

"God help me," said the fabulously wealthy Royal Princess, "because I'm pregnant and I have no idea who the father is."
 
Good one. Sounds like what Snoopy would write (Peanuts comic strip ..... "it was a dark a stormy night...."), had Charles Schultz had the gall to write such things.
 
Good one. Sounds like what Snoopy would write (Peanuts comic strip ..... "it was a dark a stormy night...."), had Charles Schultz had the gall to write such things.

As a huge "Peanuts" fan, when I was a kid and our French teacher was giving us creative writing assignments, I would often open the narration with that line, as a silly test to see if they would notice the reference. They never did, except once: the teacher had underlined the passage and drawn a little Snoopy in the margin :D I think my mother still has this paper somewhere.
 
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”God help me," said the fabulously wealthy Royal Princess, "because I'm pregnant and I have no idea who the father is."

Hey, I’m happy to see that George Martin is finally hard at work on the next Fire and Ice novel! Good one, Milagros!
 
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