Not the Most Fun or Encouraging Post, but...

A few weeks ago I had a heart attack. A major heart attack that would have killed me had I not been in the hospital when it happened. The reason I was there doesn't matter, the fact is, I was there and it saved my life. I had what they call a "widow maker," and it took a lot of CPR and something like six tries with the paddles to bring me back. I was in a medically induced coma for over a week while they sorted me out. I'm 43 years old and up till then I was walking around feeling healthy as a result of the two physicals I'd recently had, which showed my blood work to be exactly what you'd want it to be - all the numbers regarding cholesterol, good fat, bad fat, etc., all of it, showed I was not only healthy but very healthy. The only vice I had left was smoking; hadn't had a drink in well over a year nor had I been indulging in any other feel-good chemical imbibes. The heart attack hit me out of no where. I thought it was a panic attack. Seems ironic that most people suffering from panic attacks go to the ER thinking they're having a heart attack while I went in thinking I was having a panic attack and had a heart attack.

After a few - what they call "normal" reactions, like anger and denial, I've been left with fear, depression, and dread. I was set to publish my first serious attempt at a memoir I'd been working on for about a year and it almost didn't happen. As soon as I got out of the hospital I published; maybe I published too soon, too carelessly, but at the time I was afraid I might just keel over again and it might never get published. For over a week I was afraid to go to sleep thinking I might not wake up. My primary doctor asked if the hospital had prescribed anything to help with the anxiety. The cardiologist asked if the primary doctor did, and the psychiatrist was surprised that neither had and finally wrote a prescription for a benzo which, "She didn't like prescribing but felt I needed it." Doctors have become so terrified of prescribing medicines that work it's a wonder some people are able to function at all.

I apologize in advance, I know this is not what you'd call a topic for general discussion. I just needed a place to write and to let loose with some of the thoughts I walk around with regularly now. Some of this information went into the afterward of my book, which might have darkened the entire thing despite my trying to keep it relatively light and easily digestible for those who might not be so familiar with addiction and substance abuse. I guess I needed a place to put my thoughts together. I know I'm not a well known member of the community or a very prolific contributor, but I have some friends here, some good friends, and I thought they would understand. Sucks I had to miss NEST this year because of this...I was very close to attending for a second time when things started happening that would have made it difficult. Could be those were signs that something VERY serious was about to happen so I guess I'm glad I waited before signing up. Unfortunately, from what I've been reading, and from a few things I've seen, I missed some very exciting things. Here, I guess, is to next year.

I'm very sorry about your Heart Attack, Irving.

Thank Heavens you were in the hospital when it happened, and that the professionals were able to save your life

Your reactions after such an incident are completely understandable.

I wish you all the best with a full recovery, and with returning to a full, and healthy life.

Wow, I'm so sorry this happened to you. Since Kevin Smith went through this, this is only the second time I've heard about Widow Makers. You are so young to have experienced this. It just is mind blowing to me.

I have to look up how this on how to be tested. Because as I am 39... and recently all my tests were fine too... this needs to be looked into. It is to me nothing short of shocking how easily we can be at deaths door and not realize it. I'm really happy you were in the right place at the right time. I'm happy you're still here with us.

Thanks for letting me vent and for the kind words. You're right about being careful. When this happened to me I was cooking healthy meals six nights a week, walking at least two miles a day (because I don't have a car,) and got a physical at least once a year and blood work any time I was put on a new medication. There are just some things that doesn't show up in blood work. Make sure you tell your doctor to check for everything - EKGs especially.

Okay first off I am sorry this happened to you. For what it's worth, you have my sympathy

I'm younger than you but I'd like to believe that I am very healthy, despite living in an unhealthy, heavily polluted environment. All my indicators are in the green too, but... shit could happen. Any time, anywhere.

I like your take on this. It really got me thinking, and offers a good perspective on life and death.

There is one thing I don't quite understand, though:

Doctors have become so terrified of prescribing medicines that work it's a wonder some people are able to function at all.

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Why wouldn't a doctor prescribe a medicine that works? I don't get it. Maybe it's a cultural thing or you were just joking but either way this does not make sense to me If you could help me understand I'd be grateful.

The rest of the post is really interesting, regardless.

In the United States doctors are taking most of the blame for the latest drug crisis, the "opioid" crisis. I'm not saying they're innocent, but there are much more powerful, more influential and more sinister forces at work here who will never be blamed or even mentioned. Anyone with half a brain can see how our latest crisis started right around the same time we invaded Afghanistan. In an effort to avoid prescribing pain killers or benzos - drugs that work for pain and anxiety, respectively - doctors have taken to prescribing drugs with "off-brand" uses, which means the drug wasn't originally designed to treat "X" but just so happens to produce some small benefit, if any at all. Pfizer has been sued for claiming a drug does things it really doesn't do, and I'm sure there are more lawsuits on the way. I was given a blood pressure medication to treat my anxiety, and when that didn't work, a drug that's supposed to treat nerve pain for people with fibromyalgia. More and more, drug manufacturers are claiming benefits that just don't exist in order to avoid prescribing any drug that might have potential for abuse.

IrvingKrebb said:

In the United States doctors are taking most of the blame for the latest drug crisis, the "opioid" crisis. I'm not saying they're innocent, but there are much more powerful, more influential and more sinister forces at work here who will never be blamed or even mentioned. Anyone with half a brain can see how our latest crisis started right around the same time we invaded Afghanistan. In an effort to avoid prescribing pain killers or benzos - drugs that work for pain and anxiety, respectively - doctors have taken to prescribing drugs with "off-brand" uses, which means the drug wasn't originally designed to treat "X" but just so happens to produce some small benefit, if any at all. Pfizer has been sued for claiming a drug does things it really doesn't do, and I'm sure there are more lawsuits on the way. I was given a blood pressure medication to treat my anxiety, and when that didn't work, a drug that's supposed to treat nerve pain for people with fibromyalgia. More and more, drug manufacturers are claiming benefits that just don't exist in order to avoid prescribing any drug that might have potential for abuse.

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Hey thanks for this; I had no idea

This is all new to me: I am gonna look into it during the following days. It sounds crazy, but sadly believable.

IrvingKrebb said:

A few weeks ago I had a heart attack. A major heart attack that would have killed me had I not been in the hospital when it happened. …

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First of all, I'm glad you're in one piece.

As for the drug industry, fuck 'em. Same goes for the War On Drugs, which has caused many doctors to be unduly paranoid about prescribing "controlled substances", however legitimate their use might be. I know that certain meds are not to be casually messed with. But fuck this "drug-free America" nonsense.