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Quick explanation

TMF Jeff

TMF Jeff

TMF owner and co-founder
Joined
Apr 2, 2001
Messages
27,025
Points
83
This is a new forum where people can talk about fetishes, relationships, and life in general.

The idea is that it will probably be less active than the general discussion forums, which will slow down the pace of conversations and give people a chance to take their time and talk about something over a longer period of time.

I can't always tell when someone is being passive-aggressive or sarcastic or intending to make fun of something by parodying it; so I'm going to err on the side of being protective of the tone here. People can't feel free to be honest if they think someone is immediately going to start attacking them.

In other words, this is a place for considerate language. If someone doesn't have a politically correct vocabulary to draw on, they're probably not going to last long posting here.
 
I'll be looking out here also. So be courteous and thoughtful in your postings.

Myriads
 
Thank you, TMF Jeff, for creating this subforum. Great idea, and I look forward to seeing how we can all help each other through this difficult patch we call 'life'. Thank you again!
 
TMF Jeff said:
People can't feel free to be honest if they think someone is immediately going to start attacking them.

In other words, this is a place for considerate language. If someone doesn't have a politically correct vocabulary to draw on, they're probably not going to last long posting here.
Click to expand...

I'm not denying each situation is different and context is important. However, don't you think if someone feels they're going to be attacked for saying or asking XYZ, that's saying more about them than it is about the people responding, and that they're walking on eggshells as a result?

There's also major difference being polite and being politically correct. Politeness comes from having manners and wanting to treat others with kindness and respect, while political correctness is a militant form of politeness.
 
DebonairDavid said:
I'm not denying each situation is different and context is important. However, don't you think if someone feels they're going to be attacked for saying or asking XYZ, that's saying more about them than it is about the people responding, and that they're walking on eggshells as a result?

There's also major difference being polite and being politically correct. Politeness comes from having manners and wanting to treat others with kindness and respect, while political correctness is a militant form of politeness.
Click to expand...

Maybe so, but I guess I don't consider that an important distinction. In other words, I expect people using this forum to go out of their way to consider the sensitivity and comfort of the people posting. If they feel constrained by that, they're certainly free to have that feeling, but they shouldn't post here if that's the case.

As for there being a difference between politeness and political correctness (I don't agree with your description of political correctness, personally) but again you might very well be right, though it seems like kind of a fine point... but also again it's not a distinction I consider important because I think this forum calls for both attitudes.

Consider, for example, your post in General Discussion - you were expecting people to be considerate of the fact that you're on the spectrum, and to consider that when making their responses. And I agree with that expectation, because if you made that post and a bunch of people chimed in saying impolite, politically incorrect things about you, that would have probably made you less comfortable continuing the conversation, and also might have discouraged others from making similar posts.

However you choose to describe it, the bottom line is that we expect people to be nice here, and if they can't, that's a problem that we have to address.
 
TMF Jeff said:
Maybe so, but I guess I don't consider that an important distinction. In other words, I expect people using this forum to go out of their way to consider the sensitivity and comfort of the people posting. If they feel constrained by that, they're certainly free to have that feeling, but they shouldn't post here if that's the case.

As for there being a difference between politeness and political correctness (I don't agree with your description of political correctness, personally) but again you might very well be right, though it seems like kind of a fine point... but also again it's not a distinction I consider important because I think this forum calls for both attitudes.

Consider, for example, your post in General Discussion - you were expecting people to be considerate of the fact that you're on the spectrum, and to consider that when making their responses. And I agree with that expectation, because if you made that post and a bunch of people chimed in saying impolite, politically incorrect things about you, that would have probably made you less comfortable continuing the conversation, and also might have discouraged others from making similar posts.

However you choose to describe it, the bottom line is that we expect people to be nice here, and if they can't, that's a problem that we have to address.
Click to expand...

Because I'm Autistic, I unfortunately have had a habit of not following unwritten/unspoken rules (how can I know something if I'm not told it?) and saying/acting impolitely, but I've gotten better over the years, mainly by learning things the hard way. That being said, while I'm known for being honest and straightforward, I try to be considerate of the person I'm speaking to, their situation, and the context of said situation so I can avoid coming off as impolite or rude. Thankfully, because I've mastered the art of sarcasm, people instantly know my intent when I say things in a sarcastic way.
 
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