Tickle sessions

I have some questions for those of you who have met up with a stranger to do a tickle session. I have never done this and the idea of it freaks me out because I feel like tickling is an intimate activity and to do it with someone I barely know seems like it would be very uncomfortable. I'm speaking from an ignorant perspective though, since I've never tried.

1. Is it uncomfortable at first, like awkward silence or whatever? How do you break the ice?

2. Do you let them have free range of your body and bare skin? If so, has a tickling session ever become sexual? Follow up question to that, has anyone ever been touched or treated in a very inappropriate way that made them uncomfortable and forced to end the session?

3. Does anyone have any interesting(good or bad) stories about a tickle session?

If you are a firm believer in sessions, try to sell me on it because right now I just don't think they are right for me, but I do love tickling altogether.

Bleh

Ita24 said:

I have some questions for those of you who have met up with a stranger to do a tickle session. I have never done this and the idea of it freaks me out because I feel like tickling is an intimate activity and to do it with someone I barely know seems like it would be very uncomfortable. I'm speaking from an ignorant perspective though, since I've never tried.

1. Is it uncomfortable at first, like awkward silence or whatever? How do you break the ice?

2. Do you let them have free range of your body and bare skin? If so, has a tickling session ever become sexual? Follow up question to that, has anyone ever been touched or treated in a very inappropriate way that made them uncomfortable and forced to end the session?

3. Does anyone have any interesting(good or bad) stories about a tickle session?

If you are a firm believer in sessions, try to sell me on it because right now I just don't think they are right for me, but I do love tickling altogether.

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I will try to answer these as best I can.

As a female switch, meeting other tickling fetishists for sessions is inherently more of a risk; and I inherently have more persons interested in meeting me and sending messages to me about this.

One thing I had that was alike across all 3 tmf guys I have met now... They were well-spoken in writing, we spent at least a month or more chatting daily, and talked on the phone multiple times.

Usually people will go over where they all want to be in any kink situation; what the fantasy ideal is for them; what is the ideal for their partner, etc. In a session a safeword should always be used, never do "no safewords extreme tickling" like some guys will ask about. In the chat room I got asked about it tonight in fact. If anything starts being done that you never discussed or agreed to, use your safeword, end the session, and get away from them. At the point you have used the safeword, and the other person won't stop, what they are doing is now sexual assault.

I did not ever let anyone have free range over my body/skin in a first session. I have had tickling sessions become erotic and sexual, but it was discussed that it might, and it was after the initial meeting and 1st session.

In my first ever session with someone on the tmf, at age 19, I did have a guy start behaving in a very inappropriate way toward me. In hindsight, I should have ended the session right then. In reality, I was a nervous 19 year old who didn't want to confront him, have a big argument, or ruin the tickle session bc he got too sexually aggressive, but quit and calmed down when I told him to knock knocking?

Tonight in the chat room, I was in there around 3.5-4 hrs total. A few that I talked to, you know who you are, helped me talk thru something by actually treating me like a person and listened/gave advice.

I also got during that short time the request I mentioned for tickling with no safewords, I got a guy I used to talk with on and off, who has another girlfriend and lives overseas, supposedly open to his looking to chat here, tell me that he missed talking with me (that was fine) and said 'make no mistake, I need you" (which was not fine, and I feel like a bitch but had to be harsh and tell him that his gf needs him much more, he has never met me, he doesn't 'need' me, he doesn't even really know me. Another member sent multiple questions which kept coming back to a scenario where what they SEEMED to be asking was if it was ever a strong temptation to tickle people nonconsentually ; that's the direction every topic went with them...

This was a few hours. Guys... Calm the fuck down and act like adults with some sense, please. OP, I can't sell you on sessions... I have fun with them, but there will always be risk and you will get treated like an object meant only to fulfill someone's fantasy sometimes. But it is possible to meet really great people, and build lasting friendships or relationships. Just choose who you get close to carefully, and don't expect them to value your interests or be considerate of what you have told them you want or don't want... If they weren't before, they won't be in session.

Ita24 said:

1. Is it uncomfortable at first, like awkward silence or whatever? How do you break the ice?

2. Do you let them have free range of your body and bare skin? If so, has a tickling session ever become sexual? Follow up question to that, has anyone ever been touched or treated in a very inappropriate way that made them uncomfortable and forced to end the session?

3. Does anyone have any interesting(good or bad) stories about a tickle session?

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Siamese kinda hit the nail on the head on this, and I'm speaking from purely a single session (or rather, series of sessions in a weekend with the same person) standpoint.

1. You need to be sure that you're looking in the right place, and have a solid idea of what you want. Do you want someone tickling you that can't even spell tickle? Do you want someone doing it that "doesn't need safewords"? In my case, her and I met in a ticking Reddit subforum, slowly got to know each other, and eventually exchanged emails addresses, Facebook's, and phone numbers.

2. We both were switches, and weren't fans of purely sadistic tickling, preferring it to be teasing and playful, mixed with small bouts of sadistic tickles. We also eventually confessed we wanted a sexual element added to it, but that does not always happen, and it took us a good while to get to the point where that was acceptable to bring up. Her big spot to avoid was her neck, but by out second session she allowed me to tickle her there, and I only used a finger or 2 when I did, not wanting to push things. It never did get inappropriate though, since we consented to those touches beforehand.

3. I never knew my armpits were ticklish, so I made a bet I'd have to buy one of those foot exfoliators if they were. I lost

In my case, I built something more than just "someone to use as an object", but I got lucky that we both turned out to be as compatible as we were, and I could not have been happier at how they turned out. Things can get scary in a moment's notice though. You can say "Don't tickle me in X spot." And mid-session they start playing with that spot. They could also not stop when you safe word.

Do I recommend sessions? Only if you've gotten to know the person on a very close level, if you have a safecall setup, so that someone can checkup on you (if the first condition isn't met to your satisfaction), and you and that person see the other as people, and not objects.

Very informative answers from people who are seemingly well established in the world of being a lee.

Speaking from a lers perspective, I've had three encounters with three very unique individuals all of whom had a variety of tastes, expectations, and limitations.

That being said, it is very important that you have complete trust in the person that you are going to session with. Trust is built up over time. Conversations via email, text, or some kind of social media help you establish trust. Also, meeting them in person just to see them face to face helps build trust. It's a steady process that demands time, but trust me it's worth the wait.

It cannot be stressed enough that there be a mutual understanding about what their expectations are and where your limitations lie. Be self aware of your own limitations. How far are you willing to take it? Working together in leading up to the session will help you both find a middle ground with which you are comfortable with.

Setting is also extremely important. My last lee refused to conduct a session in a hotel because to her it redefined the encounter as something more intimate, which was not something she was comfortable with, so we sessioned in my car, which still turned out to be loads of fun.

And while yes, sessions can turn sexual, it's up to you to determine what course of action you want to take when the time comes. I don't condone sex, simply because to me, tickling is so much better haha, but that's totally your call.

At the end of the day, the more comfortable you are, the more relaxed you will be, and ultimately the goal of most sessions is that you have fun with it. Albeit there are those of us who prefer a more sadistic approach, but I digress.

Here's to wishing you all the best, whatever you choose to do.

Would you meet up with a stranger to have sex? If the answer's yes then you shouldn't have a problem yourself; although the other person might take a different view.

The thing is I know we are all so busy and time poor these days, but how about a couple of small meetings first, say a brief Starbucks/Costa meet and greet, and then the next time a movie. After that you would both have an idea if you wanted to meet for a third time.

WheresThe Clip? said:

Would you meet up with a stranger to have sex?

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That's not an entirely fair comparison, since tickling usually incorporates bondage, something that requires a (at least slightly) stronger bond than someone you feel like having a one night stand with. Plus tickling doesn't always lead to sex, though it can.

Thank you for your informative and open responses. I think I know myself pretty well and I definitely think of tickling as an intimate activity and I'm not a guy who likes to get intimate with a stranger. I like to establish a true relationship with a woman before considering something like tickling, so sessions probably just aren't for me. To each their own I guess.

vainbetrayer said:

That's not an entirely fair comparison, since tickling usually incorporates bondage, something that requires a (at least slightly) stronger bond than someone you feel like having a one night stand with. Plus tickling doesn't always lead to sex, though it can.

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Well then let me put it another way, would you meet up with a stranger and let them tie you up?

WheresThe Clip? said:

Well then let me put it another way, would you meet up with a stranger and let them tie you up?

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The obvious answer to this is no, but under certain circumstances, it's not entirely out of the question.

If bondage is a factor, and is desired/offered, third parties are an incredibly convenient resource.

If you are interested in trying bondage, but do not have complete trust in the one who is going to be tying you up, bring someone along to oversee the proceedings. A close friend, maybe a family member, who will comprehend and be understanding of the situation.

ticklishess said:

The obvious answer to this is no, but under certain circumstances, it's not entirely out of the question.

If bondage is a factor, and is desired/offered, third parties are an incredibly convenient resource.

If you are interested in trying bondage, but do not have complete trust in the one who is going to be tying you up, bring someone along to oversee the proceedings. A close friend, maybe a family member, who will comprehend and be understanding of the situation.

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They don't even need to be in the room. Just have set times for them to call, as well as set phrases for how things are going.

great info all! Thanks so much, as another newbie to sessions, this was a goldmine of info. This stuff could also be used to set up etiquette to follow for the requestor/requestee. Lots of great stuff here, all in all, I think safety is most important. Yes s/he might seem like the perfect partner, but I am slightly paranoid and if something seems too good to be true, I think it probably is.

There will always be another, don't let your desire for a sesh overrule your smarts. Trust your gut, err on the side of caution.

TantricVampyre said:

great info all! Thanks so much, as another newbie to sessions, this was a goldmine of info. This stuff could also be used to set up etiquette to follow for the requestor/requestee. Lots of great stuff here, all in all, I think safety is most important. Yes s/he might seem like the perfect partner, but I am slightly paranoid and if something seems too good to be true, I think it probably is.

There will always be another, don't let your desire for a sesh overrule your smarts. Trust your gut, err on the side of caution.

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That's not always entirely true, especially if you've been careful and patient over who you end up sessioning with. In my case (and hers), I couldn't have asked for a better first face-to-face encounter.

Some people, in fact probably the majority, aren't as lucky as we were though (we communicated for over a month constantly, and developed a true attraction for one another that was only furthered when we met in-person), which is why I recommend first meeting somewhere in person face-to-face in public, as we did (in our case, the first night of a rock festival) and see how that goes. If it goes well enough, consider tickling without bondage for at least a few minutes when you get time alone together, to gauge their style and see if the respect your words and body language, and vice-versa. Once you're both comfortable with the next level, make sure you have that safety call set up, especially if you are the lee, because you never know how being vulnerable + indulging a fetish with someone you hardly know will go. It could go great for your first (or future times), like it did the first time I did it, or it could lead to a discomforting experience, like siamese dream had with the one guy who tried to get sexually aggressive with her, something that is NEVER okay when someone's in a vulnerable position like she was.

Just be safe and careful, and make sure you and the person you're sessioning with are actually compatible in your tickle interests (It's going to awkward for both of you if you're both lee's/ler's) and that your styles are compatible (You don't want a sadistic ler tickling a lee that likes things playful, or vice-versa). You do all that, and you should have a great session! It may take time, patience, and compromise, but it'll be worth every bit of it in the end if things work out well

I like to think of it this way, betrayer. Which consequences are worse if I'm wrong about someone?

If I err on the side of caution, thinking there may be danger involved, and that person was actually totally fine, I've missed a session. Potentially the perfect session with the possibility of more in the future.

If I ignore my gut, thinking erroneously that they are as perfect as they sound or just a little eccentric than I end up tied down, alone with a predator who will either assault me sexually or use my vulnerability to steal whatever they can and I end up in some news paper commenting on the oddness of my kink and the death it brought me, thus casting shade on the whole tickling community

Maybe I'm in the minority with my views but I'd rather miss what would have been a perfect session than find myself in scenario B.

Grain of salt all the above, of course. I've never actually been in a session so it's all still hypothetical for me lol

I was going to spend a session with someone I met online at FetLife but he had plans with his kids this past Sunday. We made our intentions clear while texting. I feel comfortable with him so far even though we haven’t yet met face to face.

GirlWhoLikes2Laugh said:

I was going to spend a session with someone I met online at FetLife but he had plans with his kids this past Sunday. We made our intentions clear while texting. I feel comfortable with him so far even though we haven’t yet met face to face.

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Sounds awesome! Tell us how it goes

I will vainbetrayer.