Well heres my thing. I don't think I'm really like a lot of the people on this site. Don't get me wrong, I love tickling and being tickled and it is arousing but I'm never going to be the person to do casual tickle meetups or whatever. The only tickling I'll ever do is between myself and a significant other. I'm not like addicted though. If I found someone I'm in love with and they weren't into tickling I wouldn't leave them. If I had to I could go the rest of my life like that. It's just that my preference in a relationship would for us both to enjoy tickling. That would not get in the way of living a normal life with kids and responsibilities, it's just in our alone time, that would be our chosen activity and we'd have a lot of fun with it. That's just where I stand on it.
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Is it really that great?
- Thread starter mealzonwheels
- Start date
I think Wolf actually has a good response we call all take something from. He stated, on another thread...
What I take away from this is that we'd be better off settling for someone, "who's okay with tickling" essentially someone who is understanding of our fetish, not necessarily that they share it with us. Yes they maybe will, "grow to really enjoy it" but that's indeterminate.
And of course, a long term relationship, "is about bonding on a number of levels, not just one relatively innocuous sexual fetish." This essentially means that finding someone with a shared interest in the tickle fetish does not guarantee a successful relationship and that it is unlikely to succeed if we negate the other aspects vital to maintaining a long term relationship.
What I take away from this is that we'd be better off settling for someone, "who's okay with tickling" essentially someone who is understanding of our fetish, not necessarily that they share it with us. Yes they maybe will, "grow to really enjoy it" but that's indeterminate.
And of course, a long term relationship, "is about bonding on a number of levels, not just one relatively innocuous sexual fetish." This essentially means that finding someone with a shared interest in the tickle fetish does not guarantee a successful relationship and that it is unlikely to succeed if we negate the other aspects vital to maintaining a long term relationship.
OmahaTickler
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It's crucially important, however, that you and your significant other are at least in the same ballpark on tickling-fetish intensity--and avoid the temptation to assume that you can "change" him or her over time. Never assume you can change a SO on ANY level. This is more important for those of us who view tickling beyond mere foreplay or just a "turn-on" on the road to vanilla sex. In my case, I fooled myself when puberty hit that tickling was just my principal catalyst toward sex, but over time, I realized that I didn't enjoy intercourse on any level, and that my only carnal urges involve stimulating a woman's flesh with fingers and mouth, period. It's hard-wired. It's my core. Nothing can change it. Considering how rare this is, I had to back-burner it, or else risk being alone forever, as my situation is too rare. I've been married nearly 20 years to a wonderful woman who never responded to tickling (she grunts and twitches, like it's pain), but our attraction overcame it, and our sexual appetites miraculously meshed, as she brought past "issues" into the marriage that had dulled her sexual appetite over time. Also, we both didn't want kids, which made it even better. Like my extreme tickling fetish, our situation is also very rare, and I'd advise against trying to duplicate it. I can control my "appetite" through tickling media (pics and videos). Yes, I sometimes yearn for first-person tactile experiences, but trust me: When you're nearly 50 years old, your priorities and perspectives in life will shift to a broader canvas.
I agree with both you and Wolf on this. My experience has been that in a longterm relationship two people can grow to appreciate each other's kinks and even enjoy them on a certain level. The idea that each partner in a relationship must love tickling, or any other fetish on the same level, is, in my opinion a bit misguided.
That being said, I'd have to imagine some sort of common sexual bond is needed in many relationships. For me, tickling is not needed for sex and I'm lucky enough to have a partner who shares other sexual interests with me. So for those who identify very strong with this kink, maybe it's all easer said than done?
Not really what I was getting at, but okay.
I was responding to those who were searching for someone with the same level of interest in their fetish. It's not about settling for anything. It's about understanding that people are different, and people in relationships don't have to have the exact same level of interest in everything in order be happy. Settling implies accepting something that's less than ideal. I'm saying it doesn't have to be a 100% sexual match to be ideal.
Plain and simple...
You don't have to be in a relationship with a ticklephile to be happy. You don't even need to be with someone who's okay with tickling to make you happy.
Hell, you don't even need to be in a relationship to be happy. And there are plenty of people in relationships with no sexual contact that are happy. Some people don't like sex.
But if you're in a relationship, your sexual needs should be known and accepted by your partner (even if they're not shared), and vice versa.
To try to find a partner with your exact same level of interest, in very specific interests, is a pretty high bar to set.
But keeping your interests repressed in a relationship is recipe for disaster. It's not fair to either party.
Who wants to wake up one morning to find out they haven't ever really made their partner sexually happy, because their partner never gave them the chance?
GirlWhoLikes2Laugh
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I want to agree with a lot of people here & just say it’s hard to find the “one” without concerning yourself about your tickling fetish. There are so many other important aspects to relationships. I am currently in a
relationship with a guy who’s not ticklish & I am happy.
relationship with a guy who’s not ticklish & I am happy.
Emishticklish
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Speaking for myself here, I can’t have a relationship with someone who can’t at least accept my tickling fetish. My fiancée loves tickling as much as I do, but that wasn’t always the case. Tickling is the key element in my sexual relationships. Without it we may as well be friends. So I’d say it’s pretty important.
Strictly speaking and not to be pedantic, the difference between partialism and fetishism has nothing to do with the degree or intensity, but rather between the animate and the inanimate.
For instance, getting off on elbows is an example of partialism.
Being hot for digital postal scales is an example of fetishism.
Isn't that fascinating?
No, no, thanks, because I thought I understood it. Thanks for that clarification.
So, then what would the better term for comparisons be in the situation of intensities?
:FootballGuy
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Probably not good to be "desperate" but I don't think it hurts to try. I've tried plenty to find a girl who was a) into tickling, b) available, and c) actually lived near me but never succeeded in finding all 3 at once! On the vanilla side of things, I've let A LOT of good girls go over the years because tickling just wasn't their thing. Oh well. That's life.
I think part of the reason for trying is to make peace with the fact that'll never happen. If you don't try, you'll always wonder but if you try your best and it just doesn't happen because of the dreaded guy:girl ratio or because you live in an area where I swear to god there are no girls into tickling, then so be it but dammit at least you tried.
lovelovelove
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Absolutely not, my man. If I'm ever going to be in a committed, long term, sexual and romantic relationship, two facets are not just important, they're non-negotiable:
- No cat or dog allergies(or hopefully they're mild), and
- No non-ticklephile!!!
This fetish isn't just a phase, it's part of who I am in the way of what I value, what I cherish, and what I enjoy. Sure, it'll be a lot harder to find someone who shares my feelings to that degree in a world where it's hard to talk openly about, but I don't see why I should compromise on the kind of happiness I want for myself(unless for some reason I have to)(since Real Life will do the compromising for me.)
- No cat or dog allergies(or hopefully they're mild), and
- No non-ticklephile!!!
This fetish isn't just a phase, it's part of who I am in the way of what I value, what I cherish, and what I enjoy. Sure, it'll be a lot harder to find someone who shares my feelings to that degree in a world where it's hard to talk openly about, but I don't see why I should compromise on the kind of happiness I want for myself(unless for some reason I have to)(since Real Life will do the compromising for me.)
I guess it depends on the level of your tickle fetish. If you're one of those people that need tickling like sex obviously having a partner who also doesn't share that fetish will be difficult on the long run. But my tickle fetish is more on a casual level, I enjoy doing some tickling here and there and can go extended periods without doing any tickling. It's similar to my foot fetish where I do have attraction to feet but I don't need any foot play in order to be aroused nor I have such a strong desire for feet that it overtakes everything.
areenactor
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my thoughts are that you sound like a wet behind the ears kid with no experience in life but full of judgements! instead of knocking what you are seeing, try listening instead!
steve
whade06
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Substitute "tickling" with "sex" in your post OP and you'll realize how silly and judgemental you sound. (Or even turn it around and promote a marriage without love or kids but great sex.
Can't you just fuck around until you're 25-30 and then enter a loveless marriage andnever have sex again? Sure. Is that what you want?
In the first place, a lot of us are more into friendship and intimacy and not so much into casual hook-ups with strangers unless we have an emotional connection with them. The whole argument seems to be written from the POV of a person who just wants to have as much fun as possible until they grow bored of it. IMHO that's actually a MUCH trickier goal (since you have to search out tons of willing partners within a short decade) than just finding one compatible spouse. I mean, if that's your thing, sure, but why project it to everybody else? This actually seems like a very rare mindset and life choice so why it'd apply as a general rule, other than the questioner being too selfcentered about it, is beyond me.
Can't you just fuck around until you're 25-30 and then enter a loveless marriage andnever have sex again? Sure. Is that what you want?
In the first place, a lot of us are more into friendship and intimacy and not so much into casual hook-ups with strangers unless we have an emotional connection with them. The whole argument seems to be written from the POV of a person who just wants to have as much fun as possible until they grow bored of it. IMHO that's actually a MUCH trickier goal (since you have to search out tons of willing partners within a short decade) than just finding one compatible spouse. I mean, if that's your thing, sure, but why project it to everybody else? This actually seems like a very rare mindset and life choice so why it'd apply as a general rule, other than the questioner being too selfcentered about it, is beyond me.
Ignoring being dictated to by The Other Brain takes age, maturity and experience.
Sometimes, albeit rarely, I miss those days, but am painfully aware that one of the classic- and we're going back thousands of years here from the Roman comedies to the present day- comic tropes is that of an aging goat frantically chasing beautiful young women with no success whatsoever.
Behave like a young man while you still are one, and revel in it because it's lots of fun when it works out. Then when you grow older have the maturity to call it a day because you feel you should, not after you've become a laughingstock.
mikeytheman921
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So we don't deserve a satisfying sex life after mid 30s?? You can stick that notion in your you-know-where.
I don't need a girl to have a tickle fetish per se, she just needs to be willing to indulge MY fetish, and of course i'll do my best to satisfy whatever she is into. I've tried to curb my 'Ler side over the years and become more of a 'Lee. Even if a woman hates being tickled herself, she's generally doesn't mind tickling the shit out of her partner. Then again, i'm still single so what do i know?
I don't need a girl to have a tickle fetish per se, she just needs to be willing to indulge MY fetish, and of course i'll do my best to satisfy whatever she is into. I've tried to curb my 'Ler side over the years and become more of a 'Lee. Even if a woman hates being tickled herself, she's generally doesn't mind tickling the shit out of her partner. Then again, i'm still single so what do i know?
barefeetarebest
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Wow it's crazy how in synch this post is with my own views!
