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Results 16 to 22 of 22
  1. #16
    Join Date
    Apr 2018
    Location
    Monterrey Bay Area of California
    Posts
    73
    Thank you so much, Libertine, for sharing your experience with me, and offering some sound advice. So greatly appreciated! I think the few glasses of wine and honesty idea is a good one. I think you are right that there could be some room to compromise and end up with a win-win in our relationship. My spouse is very supportive and would probably welcome me being more forthcoming in terms of what turns me on and doesn't. Thank you again for the kind words and reaching out. Means alot!

  2. #17
    Join Date
    Apr 2018
    Location
    Monterrey Bay Area of California
    Posts
    73
    Thanks, Cosmo_ac, for responding and for your question. To answer your question, yes, we have been to counseling in the past, but not for this specific issue. You raise a good point that counseling can be a better avenue for help, and I will most definitely consider it. Thank you, and I really appreciate you reaching out to me.

  3. #18
    Join Date
    Apr 2018
    Location
    Monterrey Bay Area of California
    Posts
    73
    Thank you, Bob. I think you're right. It is a 'not getting satisfied at home, look elsewhere' problem. Well said. I think you're right that I need to prioritize on this issue. Thank you for sharing. Very helpful! Thank you!

  4. #19
    Join Date
    Apr 2018
    Location
    Monterrey Bay Area of California
    Posts
    73
    Thanks for posting your thoughts, dslodj. Appreciate it!

  5. #20
    Join Date
    Apr 2018
    Location
    Monterrey Bay Area of California
    Posts
    73
    To siamese dream and Tantric vampyre, thank you both SO much for your messages and reaching out. I don't have time this to respond back in full to both of you. Please know that I will though. Hoping to have more time tomorrow morning. Work and family life are calling and I must answer the call. Thank you both again for reaching out and trying to help me. Means alot! Will write more very soon!

    And again, many thanks to you all for your kindness and compassion you've shown here on this thread. I so deeply moved by all of your generosity. Thank you all. Hands bowed in prayer to all of you.

  6. #21
    Join Date
    Apr 2018
    Location
    Monterrey Bay Area of California
    Posts
    73
    Hi siamese dream. Apologies at how long it's taken me to fully respond back to your very astute, very thorough analysis of my post from 6-13-18. Again, so greatly appreciate you taking the time to write me back with your thoughts. You're absolutely correct. I didn't give enough information. As with most relationships, it's complicated. With our work schedules and taking care of kids, no family around to help, my wife and I have drifted apart quite remarkably over the years. In many respects we are the proverbial 'ships passing in the night'. We are making efforts though to remedy this with babysitters and making time for each other. It's incredibly difficult though. That is probably @ the root of my problem, and something I didn't fully address in my original SOS post. My wife has and still does indulge both my foot fetish and my tickle fetish. The issue is more of a making time in our busy schedules for intimacy, and then being able to have intimacy when the time has been set aside for it. I am very fortunate that my wife likes my two fetishes and doesn't shut me down or make me feel less of a man for having them. She enjoys the attention I give her feet. I rarely tickle them, usually just massages these days. I really like your idea of the shoes purchase. I'm going to try that.

    Sorry for not being clear on masturbation. I haven't stopped masturbating. I know that masturbating in and of itself isn't wrong. I only stopped masturbating to foot fetish and foot tickling videos as I realized once I started watching these videos I almost couldn't stop. Hours would pass and I didn't even realize it. I reached a point last year when I realized I had to do something drastic. As Tony Robbins says, take MASSIVE action. I'm not the kind of person who can just ratchet back a little in terms of this media consumption. The content was so powerful to me that I felt that I had to abstain completely. So far I'm @ almost 250 days of not watching a foot fetish or foot tickling video and masturbating to said video. It's a success for me at least. Maybe not for others, but in terms of how I used to spend my time, I'm now able to be more present for my wife and kids and other friends and family. Again, for others this may not present as a problem. With my personality, it most certainly did.

    Thanks for the reality check with checking out other women's feet. I needed that. Will do my best not to be 'that creepy guy', and work on my relationship with my wife to try and not let myself get to the point where I'm always looking @ other women's feet.

    Again, siamese dream, thank you SO much for everything you wrote. Means a great deal to me that you took the time to write what you did. So greatly appreciated! Hope I addressed your questions and hope our paths cross again on this amazing forum. Have a great Wednesday!

    And TantricVampyre, I'm going to respond to your message next. Again, so sorry it's taken me so long. Thank you for your message and I hope to respond to your message in full within the next few days.

    Sincerely,
    John

  7. #22
    Join Date
    Apr 2018
    Location
    Monterrey Bay Area of California
    Posts
    73
    Tantric Vampyre

    TV: Gotta echo the others here. It sounds like you are still invested in making it work.

    LM: I am.

    TV: That's like 90% of the battle truthfully. If you'd give up, nothing we could say would help.

    LM: I agree.

    TV: Definitely talk to your wife, no need to go into all the desires of other women's feet, it's one thing to think about it, but as long as you haven't acted on it, then nbd.

    LM: I will, and thanks for the advice on not going into detail on the desires for other women's feet. I think you're right.

    TV: Sit down and convey to your wife how important this is to you, have a dating style 20 questions sesh where you talk kinks, you may be surprised at what she is into. Even if she is not, she still might be happy to indulge ya. If she doesn't realize the depth of the fetish, take it slow, work your way up to hardcore stuff.

    LM: I like this approach. Will try it.

    TV: One thing that could be fun is one of those adult sex game acts with programmable actions (mine is full of tickle related stuff lol) give that a try on a fun date night away from the kiddos.

    LM: Yes, agreed. Could be fun with pulling in some more tickle related items Thanks!

    TV: Honesty and a determination to make it work will be the most important factors here, all the sexual/fetish stuff is secondary imo.

    LM: I agree. Honesty and determination indeed. Thank you again, Tantric Vampyre. Greatly appreciate you reaching out to me, and again very sorry how long it took me to respond in full

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