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My mother passed away tonight

TMF Jeff

TMF owner and co-founder
Joined
Apr 2, 2001
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I wasn't sure if I would share this because it's so personal, but I've occasionally talked about her long battle with various forms of lung disease, and now that it's over it felt like I should say so.

It feels weird to the point of being surreal - I keep thinking of something I'll want to remember to tell her about the next time I talk to her, and realize that I will never talk to her again. It's the most obvious thing to say about death, that it's permanent, but even though this has been coming for a long time, and even though I've thought about it a lot and prepared myself as best I could, the starkness of the reality of it is genuinely shocking.

Anyway, I'll probably be in and out of contact for the next few days or so,
Jeff
 
I'm so sorry Jeff.... my heart goes out to you with the loss of your mother.
 
My condolences, friend :sadcry: For what it's worth, you've got my support in this difficult time...
 
Jeff, I'm so very sorry about your mother passing away.

My thoughts , prayers, and sympathies are with you.
 
I am so sorry, my thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family!
 
I am so very sorry for your loss. Though the words that everyone speaks are from the heart, even though appreciated, they are of little consolation. I just lost my mom after many years of caring for her. I know the many times a day you want to pick up the phone or want to remember to share something. That empty feeling and deep sadness. For what it is worth, my heart does go out to you during this time of sorrow and emptiness. Know there are many that support you and care.
 
Very sorry about your loss, Jeff; I lost a parent last year. The "special dates" are tough; "I'd better call -- aw, shit."

Anything I can do, let me know.
 
So sorry, Jeff. Condolences to your family. May her memory be a blessing always.
 
So sorry for your loss Jeff. Thoughts and prayers to you and your family. No matter how much we prepare for the inevitable, it’s still a gut wrenching shock when it does finally happen. Know that we are all here for you and are thinking of you.
 
You won't get over it, but eventually you will get used to it.

Best wishes, and don't make any important decisions for about a year.

My/our sincere condolences.
 
So sorry to hear of the passing of your mom. You have my deepest condolences and you and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers
 
With time and the love and care of friends and family Jeff, your heart will mend from this wound.

We will be there to help you with this with a shoulder to learn on and an ear to listen too. We care as we're your friends here.
 
Very sorry to hear of your loss.
My mother died last year in November and it took about six months until I stopped having those thoughts, "Mom will want to hear this news--oh no."
You have my sympathy and support.
 
I neither know, nor can even comprehend, your pain or your grief. But if losing all four of my grandparents has taught me anything, it's that though it'll never be OK that she's gone, I promise it will get better in time. My thoughts are with you, sir, and I wish you strength.
 
I keep thinking of something I'll want to remember to tell her about the next time I talk to her, and realize that I will never talk to her again.

^ My mom is getting old. It is exactly what I am afraid of in silence whenever announcement of death comes in. My condolences to you, TMF Jeff.
 
I'm so sorry Jeff. :( Try to take things slow and steady. Don't put any life or work pressure on yourself if you don't absolutely have to. This is one of the those times in life where nothing else matters. And rightfully so. But you do. So take care of yourself, one day at a time.
 
My condolences for your Loss Jeff. May the Angels of Light guide her to peace.
 
Aw Jeff, I'm just so so sorry to hear that :( Try to take things one day at a time. Know that we're all here for you.
 
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I never know what to say in moments like these, because generalities often escape the subjective nature of our relationships. To offer the boilerplate "thoughts and prayers" seems disingenuous and pat, particularly if the gesture is made by one who doesn't pray.

I originally wrote a long and hopefully profound message here, but upon reviewing it, I felt that it said too little with far too much. It isn't my place to advise you on your grief; that journey is personal and not for those you do not wish to join you.

What I can tell you is that the surreality of your experience is the contrast of adjustments. Your mother was once healthy and then she was not; then she was unhealthy and now she is gone. The possible and the present existed simultaneously and now the next stage will begin: to remembering that she was there at all. My own experience on this matter has revealed the fragility of presence and memory, and I suspect it will be similar for you. I would suggest that you take the time when you are ready to catalog your memories of her in stories kept in journals. As time goes on, they begin to fade, but they can always be recalled with the evidence that they were once experiences in flesh and being. The details rendered in words will provoke scent and sound, sight and feeling. I didn't have this presence of mind when it occurred to me, which is why I share it with you now.

It is in the remembrance of our love that we keep it alive in our lives, even when it has long since departed from our touch.
 
My condoloences Jeff. Lost both of my parents over 10 years ago, both kinda sudden. Also my mother-in-law earlier this year. You aren't prepared for it, but you deal with the moment, then take time to recover. Just remember all the good memories of her. May she RIP, knowing you cared.
 
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