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Stop Calling Grown Women "Girls"

siamese dream said:
I don't know that I find it offensive on the forums or elsewhere to see women called girls... But I think a lot of the misogyny on the forums can be pretty offensive. I also feel like chicago wants to have a larger dialogue about that issue, but there isn't a good way to encompass all of it or explain it. I have been a tmf member a long time, have talked to lots of people who seem like good people here, and also lots of guys who seem like creeps. Chicago does have a solid point about what the banner ads, blasé attitudes toward non-con feet photos or videos, and the fact that pics of the week are never anything else but */f, usually topless */f, and what that says about what women are to the guys here. (A means to an end of getting off). The creepiness towards models and their personal lives outside their films is especially disgusting from some of the men here. I think this seems like part of a larger conversation that should be had, but I don't know if or how it could change anything, and if men here really care if women participate in these forums in any capacity other than being wank fodder.
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I can agree with a lot of what you are saying here with the exception of

"the fact that pics of the week are never anything else but */f, usually topless */f, and what that says about what women are to the guys here. (A means to an end of getting off)"

Banner ads are just that. A small revenue stream that keeps a fetish/adult site going. They're not indicative of anything, one way or another.
 
Park CollegeO said:
I can agree with a lot of what you are saying here with the exception of

"the fact that pics of the week are never anything else but */f, usually topless */f, and what that says about what women are to the guys here. (A means to an end of getting off)"

Banner ads are just that. A small revenue stream that keeps a fetish/adult site going. They're not indicative of anything, one way or another.
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Banner ads are not what she's talking about. She's talking about the pic of the week that Myriads chooses every week and posts in the side-bar on the very bottom. Usually, there is no info as to where the pic is from or link to where one could find the video. Sometimes you'll see people post threads asking for more info.
 
chicago said:
Banner ads are not what she's talking about. She's talking about the pic of the week that Myriads chooses every week and posts in the side-bar on the very bottom. Usually, there is no info as to where the pic is from or link to where one could find the video. Sometimes you'll see people post threads asking for more info.
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My mistake

but still, how is the pic of the week a reflection of "what women are to the guys here"

to me all this shows is that */f is dominantly more popular than /m
 
Park CollegeO said:
My mistake

but still, how is the pic of the week a reflection of "what women are to the guys here"

to me all this shows is that */f is dominantly more popular than /m
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I don't think Myr takes into account what appeals most to the masses. I think he just picks random shit and posts them. I don't see what it would hurt to pick something that doesn't fit in that narrow box of */f (where most of the females all look alike). I feel like variety would appeal to most and maybe would inspire more inclusivity when it comes to the media part of the tickling media forum.
 
Park CollegeO said:
My mistake

but still, how is the pic of the week a reflection of "what women are to the guys here"

to me all this shows is that */f is dominantly more popular than /m
Click to expand...

To the point where it's never anything else, not even for one week? I know some of you male lers think your dicks will die a horrible death if you see a guy in a pic or video... But I know on the boards for stories at least, f/m is pretty popular, and that there are more male lees here these days it seems like than 10+ years ago when I was first active here.
 
chicago said:
I don't think Myr takes into account what appeals most to the masses. I think he just picks random shit and posts them. I don't see what it would hurt to pick something that doesn't fit in that narrow box of */f (where most of the females all look alike). I feel like variety would appeal to most and maybe would inspire more inclusivity when it comes to the media part of the tickling media forum.
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I agree with that. Personally i've never paid much attention to that left side section.

But i've noticed that at least the clip banner ads on top, although still predominantly /f, that a f/m clip ad will appear at least 2-3 times a week
 
Park CollegeO said:
Lol wut? F/M is cool. Personally watch a lot of that and have even made clips featuring that.
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Just going by a lot of the "I dont want to see guys in my tickle clips EVER" comments I have seen on topics asking likes and dislikes for vids. I can't be the only one to have seen comments like that. And if f/m is cool, furthers my point & chicago's about the pic of the week being a topless girl ...ahem, woman nearly every week and pretty much never a guy, ever. ;)
 
siamese dream said:
Just going by a lot of the "I dont want to see guys in my tickle clips EVER" comments I have seen on topics asking likes and dislikes for vids. I can't be the only one to have seen comments like that. And if f/m is cool, furthers my point & chicago's about the pic of the week being a topless girl nearly every week and pretty much never a guy, ever.
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Well, I find F/M cool. I'm sure the masses disagree, as you mention!

If Myriads is reading this, shoot us a nice F/M pic of the week next!
 
It is important to put this into its proper context.
October 13th, 2017 she wrote the Op Ed in the New York Times.
Mayim Bialik grew up in a 1st generation conservative Jewish American family and became a preteen actress.
"The business will use you up and throw you away like a snotty tissue." & "They only want one thing." Mayim Blalik's mother direct quote while she was a preteen actress
Then she goes on to say her mother banned manicures, makeup, and grooming behavior (hugs or "baby").

Below is the controversial 2 paragraphs:
"I still make choices every day as a 41-year-old actress that I think of as self-protecting and wise."
"I have decided that my sexual self is best reserved for private situations with those I am most intimate with."
"I dress modestly. I don’t act flirtatiously with men as a policy."
"I am entirely aware that these types of choices might feel oppressive to many young feminists."
"Women should be able to wear whatever they want."
"They should be able to flirt however they want with whomever they want."
"Why are we the ones who have to police our behavior?"

Usually the View will have at least one play the devil's advocate for much more controversial segments, but all of them misrepresented her.
Megyn Kelly also misrepresented her...and then joked around with Matt Lauer (commonly acknowledged as a creep before eventually fired).

All of them skipped the next paragraph's 3rd sentence.
"In a perfect world, women should be free to act however they want."
"But our world isn’t perfect."
"Nothing — absolutely nothing — excuses men for assaulting or abusing women."
"But we can’t be naïve about the culture we live in."

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/10/13/opinion/mayim-bialik-feminist-harvey-weinstein.html
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5O4ZaaKTBY8&t=78s Megyn Kelly segment
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SzHmH5jqXnA&t=393s Op Ed the View segment starts at 5 minutes.

After this Op Ed she tweeted that she would be on some sort of New York Times podcast to clarify...she was eventually forced to tweet an apology.
I believe feminists should have an inalienable right to express religious viewpoints without being threatened with termination. (just my 2 cents)
Most of her YouTube video views interconnect her religious viewpoint with divorce/family.
 
siamese dream said:
Really... The one where Tenebrae said "Good Girl" directly after what chicago posted? Cause I thought that was one of the more immature/nasty things I have seen from him here, usually someone I find respectable. :/ ...
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10/10 would do it again :p

It was a sarcastic comment. The mere title of this post is so ludicrous that I did not think it deserved more than an ironical (albeit devoid of any ill-intent; Chicago is one of my favorite people on this forum) reply. And I thought it was funny too.

For a more elaborate response on my part, please refer to posts #16 and #18.

By the way, you're welcome, and I like you too :toast:
 
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Girls call each other girls.

Adults have “boyfriends” and “girlfriends”.

Words matter, but intent, context & inflection matter as much if not more.
 
Wolf said:
Yeah, be thankful it's not worse, right?
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I think you might have misunderstood. I can't possibly say I'm 100% sure of what he meant (neither can you), but my interpretation is this. The thing with contemporary feminists is, besides trying to impose their Newspeak on the vast majority of people who don't subscribe to their persecution complex, they seem surprisingly reluctant to put their money where their mouth is and go preach their gospel to where an advocacy for women's rights is TRULY and URGENTLY needed.

Well, I guess those brown-skinned women don't really deserve the same consideration as the white bourgeois cocainated socialites of West Hollywood, eh? :rolleyes: Man, Ms Bialik was way funnier as Amy rather than as her true self.

In a nutshell, I think that's what he meant :bubble:
 
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I think the main problem with this thread is the way the title is worded - it isn't a request, it's a demand. The wording is naturally going to put a lot of guy's backs up, since they will feel it is meant as a criticism or attack. To those who say she's just asking you to respect her wishes, why would you have a problem with that? - I don't think that many would if it was worded in a personal way. To be clear, there is nothing wrong with chicago or any other individual saying 'I don't like being called x or y...please don't call me this I am an adult' etc. The issue is when you declare a commonly used term or phrase unacceptable. Particularly one that is not inherently offensive or demeaning. You can't simply say it's not ok to use the 'girls' when the term is widely used by both women and men. On the whole, I hear 'girls' used more by females to describe themselves, their friends, colleagues, groups of women; than by men....particularly, as I spend more time around women (i.e. models) than I do around men these days. 'I'm meeting my girlfriends', 'seeing the girls', 'girls night out', 'girls night in', 'I'll speak to the other girls about it', 'another girl told me about this...' etc etc. It's used widely and interchangeably with other terms and there isn't a hard cut-off point (i.e. a female aged 30+) where it stops being acceptable and becomes insulting or patronising.

You would have to direct the instruction to everyone, not just men as is clearly implied here. I don't think many women would agree to stop using the term, simply because certain people find it offensive, and so it doesn't work. Equally, you can't appropriate the term as it isn't an 'N-word' situation. Men didn't invent the word 'girls' as a way to demean or control women. It isn't a symbol of oppression, it's just a word that has fallen into common usage since their are few other universally acceptable ways of saying 'man' or 'woman'. It's true that 'boy' isn't used as much (though it still is - 'seeing the boys' 'boys night out' etc), and I think that's just down to the way the word itself sounds, and perhaps because of social pressure for guys to be seen to act like 'men' ('man-up', 'be a man about it' etc) In the UK we say 'lads' quite a lot. It's widely used here as a casual informal term for any youngish guy and can also refer to children. Strictly speaking, more mature guys like myself, would be 'blokes' instead but I still get called a lad sometimes and use it around other guys my age and older. If anything, it's a compliment. Not everything should be regarded an insult. Context is important.
 
Tenebrae said:
I think you might have misunderstood. I can't possibly say I'm 100% sure of what he meant (neither can you), but my interpretation is this. The thing with contemporary feminists is, besides trying to impose their Newspeak on the vast majority of people who don't subscribe to their persecution complex, they seem surprisingly reluctant to put their money where their mouth is and go preach their gospel to where an advocacy for women's rights is TRULY and URGENTLY needed.

Well, I guess those brown-skinned women don't really deserve the same consideration as the white bourgeois cocainated socialites of West Hollywood, eh? :rolleyes: Man, Ms Bialik was way funnier as Amy rather than as her true self.
In a nutshell, I think that's what he meant :bubble:
Click to expand...

So, as long as there are women who have it (much) worse somewhere in the world, women in countries like this one have to keep their mouths shut about anything they don't like, because they have to address those other issues in other parts of the world before simply mentioning something they care about?

I think "Be glad you don't have it worse" is pretty much the same thing. It's just not hiding behind so many words.
 
turtleboy said:
I think the main problem with this thread is the way the title is worded - it isn't a request, it's a demand. The wording is naturally going to put a lot of guy's backs up, since they will feel it is meant as a criticism or attack. To those who say she's just asking you to respect her wishes, why would you have a problem with that? - I don't think that many would if it was worded in a personal way. To be clear, there is nothing wrong with chicago or any other individual saying 'I don't like being called x or y...please don't call me this I am an adult' etc. The issue is when you declare a commonly used term or phrase unacceptable. Particularly one that is not inherently offensive or demeaning. You can't simply say it's not ok to use the 'girls' when the term is widely used by both women and men. On the whole, I hear 'girls' used more by females to describe themselves, their friends, colleagues, groups of women; than by men....particularly, as I spend more time around women (i.e. models) than I do around men these days. 'I'm meeting my girlfriends', 'seeing the girls', 'girls night out', 'girls night in', 'I'll speak to the other girls about it', 'another girl told me about this...' etc etc. It's used widely and interchangeably with other terms and there isn't a hard cut-off point (i.e. a female aged 30+) where it stops being acceptable and becomes insulting or patronising.
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How is it a demand?
Where's the implied penalty if you choose not to respect someone's wishes?
 
turtleboy said:

'Stop Calling Grown Women "Girls"'

Call it an instruction if you prefer. The impact is much the same.
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What impact is that? You can ignore the request if you want, right?

I didn't say anything about an implied penalty.
Click to expand...
Demands usually imply some repercussions for non-compliance.
 
Wolf said:
What impact is that? You can ignore the request if you want, right?
Click to expand...

No one's saying they can't ignore it - you can ignore most things, including insults. It isn't however, a request as you keep suggesting and it isn't aimed specifically at people interacting with the OP. As I said, most people probably wouldn't have objected to a polite request to refer to her in whatever terms she likes. I doubt that a request like that would have generated much, if any discussion or argument - which was presumably the intention of posting in the first place.

Wolf said:
Demands usually imply some repercussions for non-compliance.
Click to expand...

That isn't what 'demand' means.
 
turtleboy said:
No one's saying they can't ignore it - you can ignore most things, including insults. It isn't however, a request as you keep suggesting and it isn't aimed specifically at people interacting with the OP. As I said, most people probably wouldn't have objected to a polite request to refer to her in whatever terms she likes. I doubt that a request like that would have generated much, if any discussion or argument - which was presumably the intention of posting in the first place
Click to expand...
.
So, she should have asked more nicely, or not in a public manner?



That isn't what 'demand' means.
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Semantics.
 
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