Hi there to all of you wonderful people!
This post has been a LONG time coming. I have been nervously lurking on this forum since somewhere around 2000. During the ensuing 18 years I have tried very hard to keep this part of my life hidden and in the shadows whilst trying to present to the world, and indeed many of those I was with intimately, a 'normal', vanilla sexual expression and appetite. I have spent a great deal of time lying to myself about who I really am in an attempt to squash and suffocate the parts of me I have wanted to disown. It is a tale of self-loathing that is in no way unique or unusual, but if my share of it is anything to go by, is universally painful.
Whilst visiting this forum time and again over so many years, I have been witness to such an incredible collection of people, so much love, deep acceptance and encouragement, it has moved me incredibly to feel a part of it. And I have definitely always felt a part of it, despite my seeming inability to participate. I have stood with the tiniest tip of my toe in the water so many times, including a couple of abandoned plans to attend NEST.
With all this being said, a lot is changing inside of me and I feel finally ready to embrace this community that is a part of my heart, and finally poke my head out from where I have been hiding. I am nervous and uncertain, and I ask for gentleness and understanding. As a male, I would also ask if there are any men who have been around here a little while and would be willing to help me learn the ropes a bit (no pun intended!) in something of a mentorship role, that would be greatly appreciated.
Finally, I currently reside in Northern California. I know there is not much this way in terms of gatherings, but if anyone is in the area and would like to get together for coffee and a chat that would be really nice.
Thank you all for being here all these years. I am really looking forward to getting to know you all, and for you to get to know me.
DKC (Duncan).
This post has been a LONG time coming. I have been nervously lurking on this forum since somewhere around 2000. During the ensuing 18 years I have tried very hard to keep this part of my life hidden and in the shadows whilst trying to present to the world, and indeed many of those I was with intimately, a 'normal', vanilla sexual expression and appetite. I have spent a great deal of time lying to myself about who I really am in an attempt to squash and suffocate the parts of me I have wanted to disown. It is a tale of self-loathing that is in no way unique or unusual, but if my share of it is anything to go by, is universally painful.
Whilst visiting this forum time and again over so many years, I have been witness to such an incredible collection of people, so much love, deep acceptance and encouragement, it has moved me incredibly to feel a part of it. And I have definitely always felt a part of it, despite my seeming inability to participate. I have stood with the tiniest tip of my toe in the water so many times, including a couple of abandoned plans to attend NEST.
With all this being said, a lot is changing inside of me and I feel finally ready to embrace this community that is a part of my heart, and finally poke my head out from where I have been hiding. I am nervous and uncertain, and I ask for gentleness and understanding. As a male, I would also ask if there are any men who have been around here a little while and would be willing to help me learn the ropes a bit (no pun intended!) in something of a mentorship role, that would be greatly appreciated.
Finally, I currently reside in Northern California. I know there is not much this way in terms of gatherings, but if anyone is in the area and would like to get together for coffee and a chat that would be really nice.
Thank you all for being here all these years. I am really looking forward to getting to know you all, and for you to get to know me.
DKC (Duncan).
This is a wonderful place. Have fun here.
