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Possibly scared away a potential 'lee

"Hi there! Are you ticklish?"

That is WAY too sexual and odd to begin a conversation. No one should start a conversation like this to get to know someone. If you insert any other fetish or sexual word into it...

"Hi there! Are you into anal?"

"Hi there! Are you into wearing nylons over your face"?

"Hi there! Are you looking to get f**ked tonight?"

That's basically what you just did. You sexually objectified her... without even bothering to get to know her first.Yeah she responded well but... I think it was more just to see where that conversation was going. I do it too on Fetlife and Tumblr. I know when guys are just wanting to get in my pants or whatever they want from me. I let people with Tickling write me whatever they want with few limits. But... that's tickling. Anything else... I'm wary. I have a Boyfriend and don't intend on engaging guys with other fantasies. Let alone meet them or go to events where they will be. Yes I'lll respond to them SOMETIMES but... I have WAY more limits with them. And, I just like to see where they intend to take the conversation. Out of curiosity. And usually I leave it just as she did. I stop responding.

The way you wrote seems like tickling was really all that you wanted from her. Very obvious. And THEN you asked her about her major. That was backwards. You shouldn't have entered the conversation that fast with tickling.

Most women HERE don't like that. And this woman is someone you go to college with.

I'm sorry it's too late... you aren't going to get this woman to talk to you. And IF you keep trying... she's probably going to label you something you don't like. Don't even bother. You never know she could respond but that's seriously doubtful. Next time... you need to wait before you bring this up. Like... 3rd or 4th date. Anything but the first damn sentence. Take this as a learning experience. We all make mistakes.
 
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What made you think she was interested initially to open with that question? I can tell you that most women here, on the Tickling Media Forum, if they go into chat or have accounts here don't like being randomly PM'd with stuff like "Hi there, are you ticklish?" And that's starting on a site specific to tickling fetishists, so out in the rest of the world? Lol.

Bottom line is you come off as a creep interested in nothing more than getting your rocks off tickling the first girl that lets you put your hands on her. If she isn't answering you I would leave her alone bc further unanswered messages will only make you look more creepy and desperate. I would look for women in your area on FetLife or some social app that have indicated an interest in kink in general/being submissive, write something longer and more about yourself to her initially (start with your own name, major, etc. not asking her if she's ticklish and whatnot) and ask about her/her interests, and go from there, taking time to ease into conversations about sexuality, if she decides to discuss kink with you and interest in being sub in a scenario then bring tickling into the conversation. If she has shown more interest in other bdsm activities then ask if she would be interested in a scene that combines her specific interests with yours. (I.e. maybe she would rather be spanked or teased/denied, but would be open to being tickled first as part of the scene and then have done to her what she would like.)
 
I’m actually curious how you thought she might be interested in tickling. Did she have like a feather tattoo?

Anyway, to be honest, I wouldn’t be surprised if she initially answered thinking there was a punchline coming. But once you said flat out that you like to tickle, I think it registered with her that you’re just genuinely a tickle fanatic. Asking something so forward, especially as an opening, is just not the way to go. I would not expect her to respond, sorry to say. I’d try with someone else and remember not to come on so strong. Good luck!
 
TickleBelly98 said:
Hey guys, I need some advice,

I have been searching my university for other tickle fetishists since I got here, but to no avail. Recently, I've been using Instagram and the DM's to chat with girls I think might be interested.

I recently messaged someone, "Hi there! Are you ticklish?" To which she shortly after responded, "yes incredibly." My heart started beating super fast at this sole response I got, and I responded "Do you hate it or...like it?" She didn't respond very fast so I got worried and said, "most people hate it. I'm John, btw, nice to meet you!"

Later she responded "Hi John I'm *first name* and I actually enjoy being tickled."

Now as you can imagine I was elated at this point and kind of lost restraint, here's the conversation after that:
Me: Really? No way!! I like to tickle.
Me: How did you find out you like being tickled?
seen, but no response
Me: I apologize if I seem excited, I've found no one at Purdue before now that doesn't find my question of "are you ticklish" too weird to answer lol.
seen, but no response
later...
Me: What's your major?

And that's where I've stopped so far.
I don't want to waste this opportunity but I think my overexcitement may have blown it. How do I proceed from here? Any ideas? This could be my big break.
Click to expand...

You know, women are such funny creatures. I can't imagine why your sophisticated, almost continental approach was unsuccessful. But how splendid that Purdue is regarded as the finest University for Engineering in the United States, and you should be proud of fitting right in.
 
I mean it's pretty much already been said, but unless this is Fetlife, you need a better intro than just asking if they're into tickling. She actually let you get away with it, but then you went on about it, and didn't even think about asking her about herself until she ignored you.

There isn't much of a way to proceed here. You made it clear to her you saw her as nothing more than someone to indulge a fetish on. If that's been your angle, it wouldn't surprise me if you didn't get any replies by it besides this. It's just creepy, a living example of what women in the community hate, and implies you don't care about the person, just your kink. In the future, ask about the person, and then go into kinks if it's clearly going somewhere.
 
CapturedDoll said:
"Hi there! Are you ticklish?"

That is WAY too sexual and odd to begin a conversation. No one should start a conversation like this to get to know someone. If you insert any other fetish or sexual word into it...

"Hi there! Are you into anal?"

"Hi there! Are you into wearing nylons over your face"?

"Hi there! Are you looking to get f**ked tonight?"

That's basically what you just did. You sexually objectified her... without even bothering to get to know her first.Yeah she responded well but... I think it was more just to see where that conversation was going. I do it too on Fetlife and Tumblr. I know when guys are just wanting to get in my pants or whatever they want from me. I let people with Tickling write me whatever they want with few limits. But... that's tickling. Anything else... I'm wary. I have a Boyfriend and don't intend on engaging guys with other fantasies. Let alone meet them or go to events where they will be. Yes I'lll respond to them SOMETIMES but... I have WAY more limits with them. And, I just like to see where they intend to take the conversation. Out of curiosity. And usually I leave it just as she did. I stop responding.

The way you wrote seems like tickling was really all that you wanted from her. Very obvious. And THEN you asked her about her major. That was backwards. You shouldn't have entered the conversation that fast with tickling.

Most women HERE don't like that. And this woman is someone you go to college with.

I'm sorry it's too late... you aren't going to get this woman to talk to you. And IF you keep trying... she's probably going to label you something you don't like. Don't even bother. You never know she could respond but that's seriously doubtful. Next time... you need to wait before you bring this up. Like... 3rd or 4th date. Anything but the first damn sentence. Take this as a learning experience. We all make mistakes.
Click to expand...

Amen. Sorry, not much sympathy here. You did objectify this lady. If you really want to connect with someone, get to know them, not whether or not they'll indulge your fetish right away. You went on to finish your post by mentioning "This could be my big break." To me, that reads as though you were looking at her as a conquest. I wouldn't blame her if she cut off communication because you very much made it about yourself.
 
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I'd have to agree, you'd probably have better luck getting to know the ladies before exploring the tickling possibilities.
 
Your first mistake was using Instagram to try and find someone with a foot fetish. Nothing wrong with being direct but IG really isn't the place to find someone to indulge in foot fetish activities unless it's some of those IG "foot models" who offer live sessions. I don't know where you would find people into kinks but where ever that is it would most likely be more appropriate for what you're looking for. She seemed interested initially, most likely because no guy has ever said that to her. But you responses killed whatever momentum you had.
 
RevyBL said:
Your first mistake was using Instagram to try and find someone with a foot fetish. Nothing wrong with being direct but IG really isn't the place to find someone to indulge in foot fetish activities unless it's some of those IG "foot models" who offer live sessions. I don't know where you would find people into kinks but where ever that is it would most likely be more appropriate for what you're looking for. She seemed interested initially, most likely because no guy has ever said that to her. But you responses killed whatever momentum you had.
Click to expand...

The OP didn’t mention any foot fetish..
 
You have to get to know the person first, talk about non-fetish related things and actually make the effort to become a friend before you even think about discussing tickle-related stuff. It's just a basic thing. If you were getting to know someone in public, there's no way you'd simply walk up to them and say: 'Hi, I'm (name), whereabouts are you ticklish?'. That's only ever going to end badly.

CapturedDoll summed it up perfectly. By mentioning tickling right off the bat, you've almost certainly made this girl think 'All he's interested in is his tickle fetish, and isn't vaguely interested in getting to know me as a person'.

In the future, be tactful, be respectful, and always, always be polite.
 
Some stacked up admonishment for your style I see. I wouldn't have used your approach personally, but I'm curious to know if she ever got back to you. My money says she is scared off. No way you can put a fetish toward a stranger up front and they just dive right into indulgence without knowing you. I would actually question her sanity if she did. Good luck though!
 
You do not JUST need a tickle fetishist for your life man. Try to take a step back and find someone the right way. Go out and talk. BREATHE and do NOT lead with your fetish. You should be with someone first and look at them as a lee later. Not just looking for feet. If a guy just jumps out looking for sex he very rarely will find it. So look for what attracts you and be an intellectual. Don't let that fire and passion take over lest you lose your chance at something great ^_^ O and be patient? People cannot just JUMP and answer dms fast. And as everyone said above do not start a convo asking someone if they are ticklish dude. Be smart and once again do not let that lust take you over or you will never find anything.
 
TickleBelly98,

Even the interesting-sounding initial response was ambiguous; some people just like sensations, including that one. "I actually enjoy having my hair brushed" seems like a reasonable thing to share casually, but discovering the person asked because it's sexual for them could just as reasonably seem unexpected enough to take a step back from the conversation. It seems premature to hang your heart on that.

Regardless of all that, going silent in the conversation after two replies means she's either thinking or is done talking – failing to acknowledge that is just failing to respect your peer, so the only correct thing is to let that go. You've at least gained the opportunity to think her experience over.

By opening with a friendly but unusual and direct question, you certainly risked weirding someone out a little – which isn't necessarily hurting them, as long as they're certain they can remove themselves if they want to – therefore, it comes with the responsibility of having decided you're prepared to be rejected at any time. Think about whether that's the situation you want to orchestrate for you and another person next time you consider messaging one. As others have said: if you're less unusual and direct, you might lower that risk. If you message people in a place where they've already indicated they're interested in tickling (like Forum members), you might lower that risk.
 
Coda said:
TickleBelly98,

Even the interesting-sounding initial response was ambiguous; some people just like sensations, including that one. "I actually enjoy having my hair brushed" seems like a reasonable thing to share casually, but discovering the person asked because it's sexual for them could just as reasonably seem unexpected enough to take a step back from the conversation. It seems premature to hang your heart on that.

Regardless of all that, going silent in the conversation after two replies means she's either thinking or is done talking – failing to acknowledge that is just failing to respect your peer, so the only correct thing is to let that go. You've at least gained the opportunity to think her experience over.

By opening with a friendly but unusual and direct question, you certainly risked weirding someone out a little – which isn't necessarily hurting them, as long as they're certain they can remove themselves if they want to – therefore, it comes with the responsibility of having decided you're prepared to be rejected at any time. Think about whether that's the situation you want to orchestrate for you and another person next time you consider messaging one. As others have said: if you're less unusual and direct, you might lower that risk. If you message people in a place where they've already indicated they're interested in tickling (like Forum members), you might lower that risk.
Click to expand...

Don't sugarcoat this. It shouldn't be done, and it just objectifies the people you may want to eventually indulge your fetish with.

The advice here is pretty simple: Get to know them first, and ask them about it when the topic comes up down the road, not at or near right-out-of-the-gate.
 
I guess it was nice you followed all the tickle questions with "what's your major". Seems genuine.
 
Learn from mistakes and move on. But yeah, you were a bit too direct to put it mildly.
 
I guess I can understand the logic in "weeding out" people aren't ticklish right away, but using this method also weeds out anyone who doesn't feel like answering that question on first contact.
 
For some reason this reminds me of the days when the first thing in almost any chat to ask was Age/Sex/Location & it was pretty standard.
 
Oddjob0226 said:
For some reason this reminds me of the days when the first thing in almost any chat to ask was Age/Sex/Location & it was pretty standard.
Click to expand...

Pretty sure that's a common thing on those chat sites if you list a fetish in what you're looking for.
 
vainbetrayer said:
Pretty sure that's a common thing on those chat sites if you list a fetish in what you're looking for.
Click to expand...

In the early 90s that's how most chats were. Are you someone I could sex up? was implied as one of the 1st questions, & everyone did it as part of the cyberspace landscape.
 
I never equated asking someone's basic information to sexing them up lol
 
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