TMF now compared to, maybe 5 years ago. (Complaint)

Removed. *Eye roll*

My conclusion is this: people had been app driven for a while. The attention span is fragmented because of too many electronic distractions.

Some people have always complained about cliqueyness. And yet new people still join and make friends. I dunno

There are no cliques here. From my POV anyway. I know I’m not part of any. And as a long going chat regular, I really don’t feel there are any “cliques”. This isn’t middle school. It’s a 24/7 Adult Fetish chat. I’m not saying this to be dismissive of your perception. Not at all. But as you don’t come in regularly, at least not anymore, well… rooms change. But this is not an indicator of people trying to be rude or cliquish. It’s just the way most chat rooms work.

When I started going regularly about 5 years ago… I knew it was going to take time, maybe even a year or 2, to understand the nuances of how people interacted with each other. What might be considered a faux paux to people and what isn’t. And those grey areas where we won’t immediately understand why people may be interacting in ways that seem abnormal or questionable at first glance. Honestly, after 5 years, NOW I can truly say I get all of the nuances. 5 years to really get the full perspective.

Obviously you know this is a 24/7 chat room. And doing a guesstimate… I would say anywhere from 150- 300+ people come and go (cum and go?) every single day. Here is what you might not be taking into account:

Hundreds of people come in and say “Hello, how is everyone”? Every day. All week long. Every month. Every year. Also, new names come in all day, every day. Some have been banned and just keep coming in with new names. So it does take time for people to feel comfortable around the new names.

BUT… how many times can the regulars answer that question every day? Even responding to hello a LOT of times has been met with:

Newbie: Hello

Me: Hello

Newbie has left the chat room.

Me: ??

Sometimes after the initial hello, these people will just sit there and say nothing. Meaning they don't participate after hello. Maybe some are at work. Maybe someone’s wife or husband just walked into their home space. Maybe some people have their dick or pink skittle in their hands and don’t want to say hello. They are looking for the tickling conversations to begin to finally cum. (It’s true.. I’ve asked a number of times… and have been met with multiple yeses every single time.) When I go in there, I imagine that to be the case for most people sitting there. And quite frankly, that excites me. I know it's true. I love that.

For those that just say hello and that’s that- But WANT to participate: What they should be doing is just jumping into the conversations. If they want to. But, some just don’t. Or don’t know how. Or maybe have nothing to contribute as to what the topic of the moment is. (Which changes every 5-10 minutes usually.) Or some just want to watch others talking. (I do that sometimes. I enjoy it while I’m eating or bored or because the convo has my Voyeuristic tendencies going.) Or these people immediately start trying to engage people into talking by private messaging them. (Those pop up messages.) Also shyness is a big factor here. So many many MANY reasons people have.

But... a lot of those reasons will forever be unknown to me. Some of those reasons are dark and underhanded. So people are wary. And they should be! It took me a long time to realize not everyone is there with good intentions.

But because so many of us can jump into the already ongoing conversations: It may appear like cliques. But it’s not. Those of us that do this, that are not shy about speaking in Main. THAT is the reason. For myself I rarely ever go to my inbox and mail people. And really don’t do private messaging in the chat room. I do most of my talking in the Main room. If people want to have a private convo with me, all they have to do is write me at my inbox. Some will do that, some won’t. Everyone has their own ways of how they enjoy interacting with people. And that includes the trolls and catfish that have been extremely off putting to people. Which is why it’s so important to just jump into the deep end of already started conversations. If people are talking about ice cream. Jump in and say what your favorite is! You have to start somewhere beyond the initial greeting. It’s going to take time for people to warm up to you. But once people do, they will talk directly to you more and more.

Back though to a previous point. People can only respond to hello so many times before they just stop. Don’t take that personally. In the beginning and for a looooooong time I would say hello to anyone who walked in. But I realized how much I was doing that. I still do it, but there’s a limit every day. Or sometimes I just don’t want to. It started to feel like I was at work, being a door greeter. Other chat rooms on the internet have a simple bot message: “Hello, welcome to the _____ chat room! Here are the rules”. Or whatever. We don’t have that. Maybe we should.

If I continued doing that… that’s all I would be doing with my time there. I’m there to talk about tickling and everything that comes with life. And to be jovial and have fun. Not be a chat room door greeter.

Plus because a lot of the names are similar to one another. No one can be expected to remember everyone else. Tickle5, Ticklishtoes, Tickles123, Tickleru, TickletIckle and on and on. (I made those up but…) People may take offense when I or others don’t greet them upon arrival. But I’m in no way trying to be rude. I’ve just probably said my greetings and I expect people to jump into the conversation. And I can’t remember everyone I’ve talked to. That’s impossible.

There are so many reasons and nuances going on that I could sit here all day, to write out what I believe they are. But really the only thing you have to do is just jump in. The fun starts when you just add your thoughts, where you feel like. This is the end result of when people feel like this chat room is there place to go to relax and have fun. Like going to your new, favorite bar.

You just have to jump in. It will take time. But maybe not as long as you think it will. But even if it does... just try to remember what I have written here.

well i'am new and go into chat and i think you have to work at it, i go all over the site and post a bit read stories, i have a few details in my profile so people can decide if any of it is worth making contact over.

To me its like a new job it takes time to build up friends, there are people from all walks of life here, different ages, various interests various genders and tastes so people of a similar ilk will get together.

Captureddoll makes some good points. What it was like years ago i don't know i read somewhere that a lot of people who raised hundreds of threads have moved on.

to me chat is like all walks of life you only get out what you put in, once i find the sort of pecking order and who is who i hope to take part.A good guide for a newbie is to seek out people who come regular and have been here a while and talk to them about any concerns.

can't say iam aware of any cliques people of a similar age are going to relate to each other, take music its a common interest but just a few years difference in age and location and the tastes are different enough to mean that it would not be a easy topic.

In the uk there is a buzz word type of saying "just get on with it" and thats what you have to do friends arn't going to come to you, one has to go out make friends.

Remember chat is only one one part of this site (important one) but there is a lot here to explore at least from a newbie's point of view.