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How tickling affected my sex life - and a piece of advice

Technically, tickling isn't a fetish, it's a paraphilia. That being said - the only way tickling is going to be a factor in ruining any kind of relationship is if you're not honest about it within a reasonable amount of time when the relationship is starting. I read half that first post and it screamed of naivety - no offense, you're young - and the rest of the posts who agreed, same. Tickling is something a lot of people on this forum take waaaaay too seriously. Not the love of it - that's fine, but for crying out loud just accept it as part of who you are and move the fuck on. There's more to the world than tickling and though I am profoundly happy this site was started, and producers make vidoes - as an extra kick, a once in a while thing, like having a nice steak, it's not something which needs to be the most important part of your life. Unless, you're a sex-educator or professional dom, or sub, or that's just your main passion - fine, but for the rest of us, it's icing on the big cake of life, nothing more and nothing less.
 
That is the smartest thing I have ever seen written on this website. Well said.
Technically, tickling isn't a fetish, it's a paraphilia. That being said - the only way tickling is going to be a factor in ruining any kind of relationship is if you're not honest about it within a reasonable amount of time when the relationship is starting. I read half that first post and it screamed of naivety - no offense, you're young - and the rest of the posts who agreed, same. Tickling is something a lot of people on this forum take waaaaay too seriously. Not the love of it - that's fine, but for crying out loud just accept it as part of who you are and move the fuck on. There's more to the world than tickling and though I am profoundly happy this site was started, and producers make vidoes - as an extra kick, a once in a while thing, like having a nice steak, it's not something which needs to be the most important part of your life. Unless, you're a sex-educator or professional dom, or sub, or that's just your main passion - fine, but for the rest of us, it's icing on the big cake of life, nothing more and nothing less.
 
Technically, tickling isn't a fetish, it's a paraphilia. That being said - the only way tickling is going to be a factor in ruining any kind of relationship is if you're not honest about it within a reasonable amount of time when the relationship is starting. I read half that first post and it screamed of naivety - no offense, you're young - and the rest of the posts who agreed, same. Tickling is something a lot of people on this forum take waaaaay too seriously. Not the love of it - that's fine, but for crying out loud just accept it as part of who you are and move the fuck on. There's more to the world than tickling and though I am profoundly happy this site was started, and producers make vidoes - as an extra kick, a once in a while thing, like having a nice steak, it's not something which needs to be the most important part of your life. Unless, you're a sex-educator or professional dom, or sub, or that's just your main passion - fine, but for the rest of us, it's icing on the big cake of life, nothing more and nothing less.

Afraid it's not that simple. Our minds have all taken to tickling in different ways. For some of us it's "icing on the cake of life", sure, but for others it's an absolute fixation, often embodied physiologically in our brains, and not something we can change easily. Yes, I absolutely agree it is the best to be honest early on in relationships, but the fact of the matter is, there will be a fraction of potential partners that will be turned away, and as a result, we who are into fetishes or paraphilias need to be stronger to deal with that extra layer of complication. As a community, we should acknowledge this issue and help each other out with it.
 
So basically blah blah bullshit don't tickle too much and make sure you fuck enough.

Well I'm going to fuck/not fuck on my own terms, and frankly if you forget about tickling and look at the core of people, I find them to be bland and flavorless. So get over it. Your ability to fuck is one blip in the existence of mankind and nobody is hardwired the same.
 
Technically, tickling isn't a fetish, it's a paraphilia. That being said - the only way tickling is going to be a factor in ruining any kind of relationship is if you're not honest about it within a reasonable amount of time when the relationship is starting. I read half that first post and it screamed of naivety - no offense, you're young - and the rest of the posts who agreed, same. Tickling is something a lot of people on this forum take waaaaay too seriously. Not the love of it - that's fine, but for crying out loud just accept it as part of who you are and move the fuck on. There's more to the world than tickling and though I am profoundly happy this site was started, and producers make vidoes - as an extra kick, a once in a while thing, like having a nice steak, it's not something which needs to be the most important part of your life. Unless, you're a sex-educator or professional dom, or sub, or that's just your main passion - fine, but for the rest of us, it's icing on the big cake of life, nothing more and nothing less.

I agree with 95% of this, especially the "icing on the big cake of life" line. Brilliantly put. And yes, many people here take it waaaaaay too seriously about themselves. I just never understood why people feel there's a need to like DECLARE IT to sexual partners, like it's some sort of confession to be ashamed about or whatever. Or if you don't tell them you're somehow being "dishonest" (which is bullshit). Let them figure it out! Let it be something discovered in the process of physical courtship over time. Gosh, if anything, blurting it out, especially early on, kills the fun of intimacy and discovering each others bodies in a romantic way. This fetish (or paraphilia or whatever you want to call it) is NOT something in same category as furry stuff, or LGBTQ stuff, or even BDSM. It's a kink. It's a proclivity. It shouldn't be what defines you as a person (again, for those of us outside of the porn industry) anymore than your love of pizza or your love of bird watching. And trust me this is coming from someone who has it in his brain constantly (and yes, moderate daily porn perusal).
 
What is special about tickling that it can't be categorized with furries or BDSM? At the end of the day, it's something that turns people on. LGBTQ stuff, on the other hand, I'd argue is different since homosexuality exists in nearly every species of animal on earth.

And why can't people understand that everyone is different? For some of us it's icing, for some of us it's more serious. Who are we to tell people how seriously to take anything?
That's not just for kinks and fetishes, it's for life in general!

And, since I'm involved in the world of biology, the brain is so complicated that even scientists barely know anything about it. For some people, tickling may be hardwired in their brains in such a way that they are physically unable to treat it as just a "paraphilia" or "proclivity". They might literally freeze whenever they even hear the word. For many of them, tickling is the only way they can get off. Instead of shaming them or telling them to not be so serious, we need to support them.
 
Most important is to find someone sexually compatible or who at least is willing to accommodate one's taste. Of course some tastes are harder to accommodate than others.

In any fetish type forum I have seen, it comes up about "vanilla sex" being ruined for people with a fetish. If vanilla sex just does not cut it for some people, they are not going to be interested in being "cured" of their fetish in the first place.

I do not think the internet is responsible for "ruining" things. All it did was make it easier for people to find content they are already interested in. In the old days, one would have to rummage a lot of porn for maybe ONE photo or brief scene of their desired material.

Some people have needs that must be met in order to get off. Telling them to learn to be happy with vanilla sex is not the answer.
 
Most important is to find someone sexually compatible or who at least is willing to accommodate one's taste. Of course some tastes are harder to accommodate than others.

In any fetish type forum I have seen, it comes up about "vanilla sex" being ruined for people with a fetish. If vanilla sex just does not cut it for some people, they are not going to be interested in being "cured" of their fetish in the first place.

I do not think the internet is responsible for "ruining" things. All it did was make it easier for people to find content they are already interested in. In the old days, one would have to rummage a lot of porn for maybe ONE photo or brief scene of their desired material.

Some people have needs that must be met in order to get off. Telling them to learn to be happy with vanilla sex is not the answer.

It's cool, we're saying similar things. Look, I certainly agree that there are probably different levels of intensity to this fetish. I'm also saying if you're one of us you can be with a vanilla person and still live a fulfilling and wonderful life, both with sex and beyond sex. Sometimes your fetish won't be indulged during sex with your partner, other times it might be. It's a give and take in a healthy relationship. If you expect your fetish -- and only your fetish -- to be focused on every single time you have sex with a vanilla partner, you're frankly a selfish person. If you're with someone who's vanilla, it's only fair that you do what turns them on at least half the time (totally non-tickling stuff), is it not?

I love that my wife occasionally indulges me in it, especially when I know tickling does nothing for her. And other times I do only what turns her on, which in her case is (for me, boring) missionary sex and occasionally oral stuff. And we have a wonderful marriage and a wonderful life together. The rest of the time I get my kicks here on the old internet, consuming some of that great stuff created here by great content producers. (Shout out to all you great tickling content producers. You seriously rule! Thank you!)

At the risk of sounding like Dan Savage, I'm just sending a message to younger people with this fetish out there: It gets better. Even if you have a raging and seemingly unquenchable thirst for tickling in your life, please don't think of it as a curse or a burden. And you certainly don't need to declare it to anyone, publicly if you don't want to, ever, and still live a happy and fulfilling life. OR conversely you CAN declare it to people. Maybe that works for some people too; maybe someone else can speak to that, I don't know. I just know my philosophy about it throughout my life has worked great for me. Others of course have different opinions and approaches about it and may also be just as happy.
 
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