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Tickling's impact on your life

P

Park CollegeO

TMF Expert
Joined
Sep 7, 2013
Messages
432
Points
18
Do you think having this type of fetish has affected you negatively or positively. And i'm not talking full blown here, I mean more in certain situations.

Negatively meaning, being less goal oriented, distracted, tunnel vision etc...

Positively being kept you out of some type of trouble by having your mind so pre occupied with tickling that you don't turn to drugs etc...
 
For me it’s been a positive fetish. With several women who have had bad experiences with it, I’ve showed them that it doesn’t have to be torturous. And if boundaries are set, and safewords used, it can be a great form of foreplay. I think that for these women, they were tickled by people with the mindset that the harder you tickle, the more it tickles, when in reality it just plain hurts them. So they have a bad experience with it. So if I can change someone’s mind about our fetish, then it’s a positive thing.
 
The tickling fetish has definitely not had a negative affect on my life. I won't say positive ether because I can't think of any experiences having a tickle fetish would give me, what positive impact it would have on my life. The only reason I care about tickling a woman or knowing if she's ticklish, how ticklish, and where she's ticklish(mostly if it's feet) is only because I have a tickling fetish. If I didn't than the stuff I just named would mean absolutely nothing to me like it does with the vast majority of the population.

They're a few ways I can see a tickle fetish being a burden

The first one is a universal one. Finding a woman who you find attractive and who has all of the qualities you'd like in a lifelong partner. But... she's ether not ticklish, not ticklish enough, or not ticklish on a specific body part, mostly on the upper body or the feet since those seem to be the most popular ticklish spots.

The second is also one that can be a universal issue. Where tickling consumes your life and becomes an obsession. Where's it interfering in your daily life or ruining relationships because you have needs that aren't being satisfied. Whether because you need tickling in order to have sex, or prefer it over sex, or your partner won't indulge in your fantasies because they have no interest to or don't enjoy being tickled on that level.

The last one is personally and what I consider a burden that comes with having this fetish for me. Knowing that ether an unattractive woman or a man is more ticklish than a woman I find attractive or known. Like when I've accidentally would see a clip of a guy being tickled, this happened a lot back in the 00s because of how grainy the thumbnails were during those times, and seeing how ticklish he was, or coming across a celebrity I didn't want to know was ticklish, admitting to being ticklish. 1, because I'd see it as a waste of ticklishness. And 2, because knowing in a what if scenario that this person(being a man or ugly woman) would succumb to tickling faster than a woman I'd prefer or have known is just irritating to me. I've worked on that over the years because it's silly to allow situations that would never happen to bother you so much. So that would be a negative of mine when it comes to having a tickle fetish.
 
I'd have to say that tickling in general, has been good to me. In the good times I got in plenty of tickling, and in the lean times, it's given me comfort. I've never been obsessed with it, but have had times when I long for it (like now). But coming here or other sites usually gives me satisfaction either of the physical nature or in the thought process.
 
Not so good, because I already have difficulties forming romantic relationships, and it's not doing any service to that I'd say. But I like the thing itself, the fact that it's very playful.
 
If you just accept it it's no different than liking vanilla over chocolate. Which I do. And I hate cheese with a passion and loathe all things related to cheese. Has it fucked up my life? No. It's a personal preference. I realize there are a lot of young people on this forum now and they're confused and shy and maybe even embarrassed about what they like...I get it. But it's not a big deal in the long run, it really isn't. Quality people are not going to treat you any differently because you like tickling, I promise you that. They may not like it themselves but who cares? I don't like cheese, do you think that's kept me from dating women who do? Or men that do if I chose to date men? Fuck no. It's just one small thing that you're blowing all out of whack because it makes you horny and at a certain age, that which makes you horny seems like the end all be all of all things. It's not, trust me. Tell the world you're into tickling and you will tickle more than you can handle. I know this to be fact. Don't be a dick, don't be a jerk, don't force your pleasures on other people and you'll be fine. But really, don't turn what turns you on into your defining characteristic...you're better than that, you're more than that, if you're young it may seem like the most important thing in the world but it isn't, it really, really isn't that important.
 
I'd say positive. Especially since I'm open about it in a limited way. Good amount of friends, and my parents know, so I don't have to keep it pent up, like I used to. I get to live my truth, and having been someone who hid being a lesbian and hid having a kink, I'd say there's nothing more positive than that. Being able to be completely true.
 
Mostly positive for me, with a few times in my life where it was overwhelming me and my desire to tickle a woman made me react without thinking on the negative outcomes.

It's never gone bad in relationships for me.
 
Good... I have been a little surprised, as a woman who has known what I like for a long time now and what sort of fantasies do it for me, to learn how a really giant number of women out there have no real idea what their fantasies might be, how to figure out what does it for them, or how to feel enjoyment and satisfaction sexually (i.e. have orgasms, alone or with someone, but alone first and foremost.) .... TBH fantasies about tickling were such a turn on for me before I even was old enough to understand what that feeling was, that while it's been embarrassing and difficult to try to explain what I enjoy to non kinky lovers, I have never faced the situation where I don't know what I enjoy or don't have any fantasies that can get me there and am still trying to figure it out, or waiting for a lover to come along and figure out how to get me there. ;) I've known for so long that I sort of take it for granted that I have fantasies that work for me, and have been there before I even fully understood what my feelings meant. I never had to struggle with finding out what I like and what works as an adult, except in the sense of getting someone else to understand too.

I used it to distract myself from a great deal of emotional pain, and it has been a very fun distraction I have to say, even if the pain is still there underneath

I feel sexier and more confident. I know the things I like might make me odd to the rest of the world, but to other people into it, I'm freaking hot, and not easy to find, and wanted. That's a good feeling, very good.

Negatives are feeling objectified but I think every woman feels that at times, kinky or not. Being highly embarrassed and afraid just to talk about it or tell someone I'm close to or intimate with, something I'm still working on. And being concerned at times about some of the sadism apparent in my fantasies vs. feeling that this is morally wrong, but I think I've come to terms with knowing that real life my 'boundaries' are much more clear and my wants are much more affectionate/kind than some of the fictional ideas I can get into. Another negative is feeling afraid of being harmed when trying to indulge this kink and find a good partner for sessions, but again every woman kinky or not has to be more cautious and has that fear more often than men might.
 
I have to agree with your thoughts about women not being able to understand what their fantasies are
siamese dream. In my lifetime (at least post pubescent time) I've rarely found a woman that understood, let alone indulged in a fantasy that did it for them. And Lord knows I tried to get them to open up about it! But I think they didn't because they didn't know what it was!
I've had women who had things they liked, but I wouldn't call it a fantasy per say. But with tickling, unfortunately I usually had to do it to them without their permission then reward them for obliging me then they were ok with it.
Me on the other hand, I knew what did it for me from as far back as I can remember! I would get the tingling in my stomach when tickling was involved until I reached puberty, then the feeling dropped to a lower position! :p
 
One good thing that tickling has done for the people who have kindly engaged in it with me, is opened them up to exploring fantasies of their own. Those fantasies weren't always fully realized or even full understood, but my girlfriends felt free to explore different aspects of their own sexuality. In more than one case, a girl who had never even been tied up all of a sudden wanted to try things I wasn't even prepared for, hardcore things I never even considered. I think consensual bondage - never mind the tickling - is great gate-way play; it can really open up doors that might not have ever been opened before.
 
Tickle fetish impacts me negatively because it is yet another barrier to a potentially fulfilling relationship. If a woman is either not ticklish, or has a phobia of being tickled (and is ticklish) the relationship won't work. I think that is a counterproductive proviso to have in my case.
 
Excellent idea for a thread!

I can't think of anything truly negative. My sadistic side used to have me a little worried, back when I was a kid; I used to believe I would somehow grow up to be a villain :D. But aside from some confusion in my teens (I do believe however than all teenagers somehow experience a certain confusion, as they struggle to find out what they truly want), I can't really think of anything. One of my exes broke up with me because of my kink when I was in my twenties, but it is the only example I have in mind, and I'll put it down to her close-mindedness rather than the kink itself.

That being said, here are a few positive things tickling brought in my life:

- It stimulates my creativity. Endless fantasizing, reading stories and exchanging with artists have done a lot for my capacity to imagine beautiful (as well as sadistic :p) scenes.

- The TMF put me in touch with people I really like. You ladies and gents are awesome!

- It has helped improve my English tremendously. If I now speak/write it that fluently, it is really because most of kink-related media is in English, and it has taught me a lot. It even pushed me to write stories in English, something I would never have done if I had stuck to vanilla media.

siamese dream said:
Good... I have been a little surprised, as a woman who has known what I like for a long time now and what sort of fantasies do it for me, to learn how a really giant number of women out there have no real idea what their fantasies might be, how to figure out what does it for them, or how to feel enjoyment and satisfaction sexually (i.e. have orgasms, alone or with someone, but alone first and foremost.) .... TBH fantasies about tickling were such a turn on for me before I even was old enough to understand what that feeling was, that while it's been embarrassing and difficult to try to explain what I enjoy to non kinky lovers, I have never faced the situation where I don't know what I enjoy or don't have any fantasies that can get me there and am still trying to figure it out, or waiting for a lover to come along and figure out how to get me there. ;) I've known for so long that I sort of take it for granted that I have fantasies that work for me, and have been there before I even fully understood what my feelings meant. I never had to struggle with finding out what I like and what works as an adult, except in the sense of getting someone else to understand too.

I used it to distract myself from a great deal of emotional pain, and it has been a very fun distraction I have to say, even if the pain is still there underneath.

I feel sexier and more confident. I know the things I like might make me odd to the rest of the world, but to other people into it, I'm freaking hot, and not easy to find, and wanted. That's a good feeling, very good.

Negatives are feeling objectified but I think every woman feels that at times, kinky or not. Being highly embarrassed and afraid just to talk about it or tell someone I'm close to or intimate with, something I'm still working on. And being concerned at times about some of the sadism apparent in my fantasies vs. feeling that this is morally wrong, but I think I've come to terms with knowing that real life my 'boundaries' are much more clear and my wants are much more affectionate/kind than some of the fictional ideas I can get into. Another negative is feeling afraid of being harmed when trying to indulge this kink and find a good partner for sessions, but again every woman kinky or not has to be more cautious and has that fear more often than men might.
Click to expand...

Fantastic post right here, siamesedream! :iagree:

You've brought up ideas I had never thought about before. I did not know so many women were confused about what that they truly like.
 
Up until a year ago, I would have said that as much as I enjoy it, tickling had had an overall negative impact on my life. Since then though I've met my beautiful, incredibly ticklish girlfriend who loves nothing more than being strapped down and tickle tortured. But get this - we actually get along too and have formed a relationship. So now I'd view it as very positive.
 
Park CollegeO said:
Do you think having this type of fetish has affected you negatively or positively. And i'm not talking full blown here, I mean more in certain situations.

Negatively meaning, being less goal oriented, distracted, tunnel vision etc...

Positively being kept you out of some type of trouble by having your mind so pre occupied with tickling that you don't turn to drugs etc...
Click to expand...

After reading your post I was thinking about this all week.

I suppose I could say I have lost a lot of time and money and energy because of it. I can easily be distracted by it. And there are things I would like to do / have done that I did not because I was distracted by it or too focused on it.

Heck I'm here talking abut tickling now when I could be doing something else on my list! lol

But I came to the conclusion a long time ago that tickling is part of what makes me me. Without this inside me I would not have learned many of the real world skills I use all the time. From web searching in the dark days of the internet to the use of spreadsheets and many other computer skills.

I wouldn't have had the adventures or the stories to remember and tell if it were not for it either.

Tickling is just part of what I am. And yes, it can dominate my mind sometimes (a lot of times?) but that's what makes me me.
 
Its a good question. I cant really say its been a positive really. It has lead to lots of confustion and fustration. I can remember being young and thinking I was alone with this fetish. Having issues having sex without it involved. I was able to overcome it but it was some rough times. I was very lucky and I have a awesome understanding wife so we worked it out. Plus shes super ticklish and doesnt mind getting tickled. But even now I have urges and fanstasies that I will likley never get to fufill. Sometimes its a bit overwelming having something that has that much of a effect on you. And its effect is huge. I think about tickling wayyy more then I think about sex. Like by far. But it is what it is. Its a big part of who I am so I dont think Id change it. Theres also been lots of fun Ive had with my wife. The first time she let me tie and tickle her was one of thr best moments of my life. We have lots of great memories revolving around the fetish. It is what it is
 
Park CollegeO said:
Do you think having this type of fetish has affected you negatively or positively. And i'm not talking full blown here, I mean more in certain situations.

Negatively meaning, being less goal oriented, distracted, tunnel vision etc...

Positively being kept you out of some type of trouble by having your mind so pre occupied with tickling that you don't turn to drugs etc...
Click to expand...
It's hard to be either or...so key points:
1. For me, it's been a hard road to break out of my shell for real, and I am still a little rigid, but I've made it happen.
2. I found each time I tickled I either wanted to get more extreme or I actually lost a little interest in it. So maybe I'm on a recovery path. Or maybe I just gravitated to other fetishes (like long hair).
3. I learned that despite wanting to control the situation or guide it in a manner that could predict the results, the best outcomes came in scenarios I had no control over.
4. I went from being a strict tickling fetishist to arriving at the realization I use it to make up for my own sexual inadequacies/insecurities...

So all these combined got me to mellow TF out. Some may think I'm being negative, but I've come to realize it's like sweet and sour dishes off the Chinese menu...it's not "all at once". All these things I brought up helped me somehow.
 
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