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Humiliation and tickling

V

Vanillaphant

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I know that the humiliation aspect of tickling is something which appeals to some 'lees. But it's one of those things which, if you're not into it yourself, it can be difficult to get your head around. Typically, humiliation is a very negative emotion, obviously. So the idea that it would become a turn-on in such a specific context seems counter-intuitive.

For people who are into it, is it something you feel you can explain? Is it something that developed once your interest in tickling had already been established? Or do you feel that it was intertwined with tickling right from the get-go?

Sometimes when people talk about humiliation in this respect, I get the feeling that they're actually denoting a much milder emotion. Like they might throw in the word while discussing their love of verbal teasing or something like that. And I think to myself, "Does that really constitute humiliation?" Seems like it's maybe used as a catch-all term for any sort of feeling of embarrassment, self-conciousness, or even just being the centre of attention...? Could be wrong about that though.

And for those who maintain that it really is humilation that they're into, does there need to be a public spectacle element to the tickling? Like you need to feel that many eyes are on you watching you lose control? Or can it be just as intense on a more intimate one-on-one basis?

Cheeyers. :)
 
Humiliation can be similar to pain, both can arouse people. Tickling itself is negative to most people, the normal reaction to tickling someone is for them to avoid the source of the sensation and possibly castigate you for bothering them.

Being humiliated by someone else showcases that person's power over you and thus demonstrates their fitness as a mate. Or perhaps the act of being embarrassed voluntarily can allow someone a contrast to their normal social interactions where being seen as weak or feckless has consequences, so the earnest nature of allowing yourself to appear vulnerable can be an intimate experience and therefore a sexual one.

I think it's also worth noting that just because something is enjoyable doesn't mean it isn't embarrassing, you typically don't want people seeing you have sex or take a hulking shit, but they can be a great relief.

Lastly, for myself I like one on one humiliation possibly due to the intimacy, but if there are others in the room mocking me while I'm being tickled that would be great too.
 
Well, there's the dictionary definition of humiliation...true, real humiliation (like shaming someone on social media, dragging their dignity through the mud). And even then, there's a spectrum (a sports team could feel humiliation). Then, there's "humiliation", maybe something like getting slimed on Nickelodeon...or getting pushed into a pool. It's "fun humiliation", but it's not something that would make most people, I assume, feel totally degraded, just a little silly. I think the latter is what many tickling enthusiasts might be referring to (though, yes, for many others, it can be true humiliation). It's on the more mild end of the spectrum. Same with pain, for people into that. It's controlled and consensual (I hope) but it's nowhere near getting set on fire or dismembered.

I like my tickling to be playful with a touch of humiliation (depends on what scenario I'm feeling). But "fun humiliation". Tickling by its very nature has a humiliating factor already, even for people who like it, but it's the more mild, ridiculous, silly kind of humiliation that I like tapping into.
 
Yeah humiliation in the kink world is kind of a catch all term. I like verbal teasing but not verbal degradation
 
Thanks for the replies so far.

Maybe I'm just being too literal-minded!

I don't doubt that there are people who are genuinely into humiliation in this context. But it seems like a strong word for somebody to use if that's not true for them. Like if it's the playful teasing aspect that they enjoy or something like that. It's a "heavy" word to be throwing around, I suppose. :shrug:
 
This is a really good question, because in general I find the experience and the concept of humiliation to be neither appealing nor interesting. Yet the embarrassing aspect of being tickled -- being made to be an involuntary spectacle, with entertainment being derived from my inability to control my helpless, risible reactions to this silly playful stimulus -- is definitely a charge for me. Like tickling itself, it's an experience I don't necessarily enjoy at the time but it appeals to me outside of the experience.

Chicago drew a really insightful distinction above, between teasing and degradation -- part of the difference for me is that tickling doesn't generally involve heavy-duty humiliation but rather the kind of good-natured non-vicious embarrassment that pranking friends enjoy among themselves.
 
My two cents : it's like "torture" really. I find the idea of a woman being tortured arousing. Being flogged is a harrowing experience, but BDSM people whip each other all the time. We like "tickle torture"; while the word "torture" here clearly isn't misused, it does not really reflect what an actual tickle torture would be like. It is the polysemous nature of words. Humiliation works in a similar way: to be humiliated is not an enviable situation in itself, but the right amount in the right context can be a huge turn-on. It might seem weird if you're not into it... but so does tickling, when you think about it ;)
 
Being made to endure something embarrassing that secretly turns me on in front of others is really hot to me for some reason. But i have some really dirty fantasies sometimes.
 
chicago said:
Yeah humiliation in the kink world is kind of a catch all term. I like verbal teasing but not verbal degradation
Click to expand...

This, I would love getting teased and ''forced'' to beg for mercy with tickles but I would never like to feel degraded or truly disrespected.
 
In context, I figure it's because they blush from being pinned down, tickle talked, and generally adored.
 
I know a very ticklish person who with a simple poke in the ribs, let's loose with a loud shriek and goes weak at the knees. This reaction though uncontrollable is very embarrassing to her. She sees her ticklishness as a sign of weakness. Being laid bare like this though embarrassing for some is a turn on to others. The word humiliation is used quite often to describe this, though as has already been said, it's widely open to interpretation.
 
As others noted, "humiliation" is a loaded word. As a ler, I do get off on the lee being embarrassed by being overly ticklish, or becoming a giggly mess, but I do not get off on verbally attacking lees. I do, however, enjoy verbal taunting in F-F tickling videos, but not M-F videos, but to be fair, I'm biased against most M-F videos, as the dynamic, to me, seems more about "breaking" or "owning" the lee, whereas female ticklers seem more about the tickling and dominating in more of a B&D way, which for me is less dark. The ticklee should want to be there---they can feel anxiety, but they should not feel explicit fear, shame or humiliation----by explicit, I mean that if the lee gets off on this, I'm fine with that, but I prefer not sensing it in the lee.
 
Really interesting thoughts in this thread.

For me, "humiliation" feels a bit too harsh to be an apt description of what I think is really going on, or what ought to be going on. Generally, if someone is humiliated, it means others think less of them afterward. I don't think any of us think less of a 'lee after having been tickled, even mercilessly.

The bigger psychosexual dynamic at work here, I believe, is power. Or at least that's the bigger umbrella concept under which embarrassment, control, and domination all reside. Certainly, being powerful is associated with better odds at DNA propagation, and therefore has a solid basis in evolutionary sexual attraction. Someone tickling you has power over you, (as does someone beating you, insulting you with impunity or all kinds of other darker actions).

So as I see it, tickling is virtually almost always harmless way to express power games. And the people who hate it the most, in my experience, hate it for the negative, repressed memories it conjures from their past -- when it's crossed over from playful control games into meanness -- rather than the physicality of spasms, jerking or laughing.
 
It’s more about your ler having control over you, especially when you are tied up. You are being verbally teased while being tickled. You could be made to beg or maybe make embarrassing sounds when laughing. It’s also about being made to submit or losing a challenge. Such as believing that your ler can’t make you use your safeword but then they find the right spot and you use it in ten minutes etc.
 
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