I know a lot of people here think this, but is not exactly considered "normal" and "tame" by a lot of "vanilla" people out there. Deviance from what is considered sexually norms creeps a lot of people out. It does not matter that it is just tickling. I remember hearing one story about a guy that came out to his family, and the next thing you know his sister-in-law will not allow his nephews and nieces to alone in the same room with him. It didn't matter that he was only attracted to adult females. His sister-in-law was afraid if the kids tickled or god forbid he tickled them, he would get turned on and sexually fixate on them. I've heard other similar stories, and that is why I am very selective who I know about my fetish. My wife knows, but that is it. So just because it is not scatting, it does not mean people are open to it.
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Normalizing our fetish
- Thread starter Iluv2tickle123
- Start date
I know a lot of people here think this, but is not exactly considered "normal" and "tame" by a lot of "vanilla" people out there. Deviance from what is considered sexually norms creeps a lot of people out. It does not matter that it is just tickling. I remember hearing one story about a guy that came out to his family, and the next thing you know his sister-in-law will not allow his nephews and nieces to alone in the same room with him. It didn't matter that he was only attracted to adult females. His sister-in-law was afraid if the kids tickled or god forbid he tickled them, he would get turned on and sexually fixate on them. I've heard other similar stories, and that is why I am very selective who I know about my fetish. My wife knows, but that is it. So just because it is not scatting, it does not mean people are open to it.
Aside from the apocryphal nature of these kinds of stories, "I heard a a story about a guy..."
Why would you expect someone to be open to your kinks if they're not in or potentially in a sexual relationship with you?
I don't.
Tenebrae
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IMO it does not invalid his point. It is not that much about how we see ourselves but rather more about how others see us, don't you think?
That's not what he says.
Okay, great.
So, you're in no danger of having any of the "I heard about a guy" horror stories happening.
As I pointed out in my original post, I don't go around telling people about my fetish, so I guess I'm in very little danger. If I was to get divorced in the future, could my wife use against me in child custody battle? Possibly, but that is a risk that I take. As for "I heard about a guy" it is a completely anecdotal tale told to me by a guy I've never met or whose real name I do not know. It could be absolute fiction for all I know; however, it rings true based on my personal observations in life. It was used to illustrate the point that while there are some here that view that their fetish as completely "harmless" or "tame", there are others that do not see it quite the same way. Now there may be scientific studies that refute the idea that those that disclose their fetishes publicly are shamed or ostracized, but I am not aware of the existence of any such studies.
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You're not aware of any studies that refute ideas put forth in apocryphal, third-hand stories?
I just don't see the big deal. Who are all these people "coming out" to people they're not in a relationship with. or potentially going to be in a relationship with?
And why?
Erotickles
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I think it should be a call to action!
I am currently working on a mobile app for the tickling community, whose purpose is to assist and support the formation of local tickling groups and communities.
What Iluv2tickle123, the original poster of this thread, suggests is, in my opinion, a required step in our maturation as a community:
From recognizing there are others like us - and chatting about our mutual interest -
to recognizing that the way to solve a mutual problem is by actively collaborating to present ourselves - to the world.
It will be great if we can start working on this! this will be a great combined effort, with the progressions of the app project!
So how do we make it inviting, curious, and appealing - like I hear "50 shades of gray" did for BDSM? How do we escape a possible trap of coming out as weird or creepy?
These are good questions. We should talk about this. I have some thoughts too. If there are others who are passionate about it - why wait, right?
Who, here, is interested in working to raise the visibility of our tickling fetish? Please comment "Aye!" to this comment of mine - so we can gather a group to work on this!
No one is required to "come out" unless they are ready to, of course. Just as Iluv2tickle123 said, we can do A LOT online!
I am currently working on a mobile app for the tickling community, whose purpose is to assist and support the formation of local tickling groups and communities.
What Iluv2tickle123, the original poster of this thread, suggests is, in my opinion, a required step in our maturation as a community:
From recognizing there are others like us - and chatting about our mutual interest -
to recognizing that the way to solve a mutual problem is by actively collaborating to present ourselves - to the world.
It will be great if we can start working on this! this will be a great combined effort, with the progressions of the app project!
So how do we make it inviting, curious, and appealing - like I hear "50 shades of gray" did for BDSM? How do we escape a possible trap of coming out as weird or creepy?
These are good questions. We should talk about this. I have some thoughts too. If there are others who are passionate about it - why wait, right?
Who, here, is interested in working to raise the visibility of our tickling fetish? Please comment "Aye!" to this comment of mine - so we can gather a group to work on this!
No one is required to "come out" unless they are ready to, of course. Just as Iluv2tickle123 said, we can do A LOT online!
Sensualswitch10
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Good point. People should keep anything sexuality related "in the closet" and shouldn't "come out" to anyone unless they are, or may some day be in a romantic relationship with that person, right Wolf?
Tenebrae
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Good point. People should keep anything sexuality related "in the closet" and shouldn't "come out" to anyone unless they are, or may some day be in a romantic relationship with that person, right Wolf?
Hey, it's never too late for growing some sense
If anything, I commend Wolf for his new stance on such matters 
Great post, Sensual
duderino84
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Sorry.
Anyhow, do we really *want* "normalization"? I've kind of thought about it. I'm not sure a tickling group on a site like meetup (I know there are a lot of fetlifers here, but let's face it, it's not like there's a huge population that I've met that even knows what fetlife is) would be anything more than perceived as a pipe dream/troll for people.
I, for one, am getting a little sick of playing off this fetish as just some attention seeking physical contact lust and would really like to take it in the other direction with people. Sometimes I put on dating profiles "looking to round out my fetlife" and sometimes it works.
I guess what I'm trying to say is the more compromising, the more distortion of your ideals away from what they actually are. And in terms of "normality" that can be looked at as being thirsty or weak.
Comfort Eagle
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It can't be "normalized" until you people treat it as a normal extension of yourselves. Something that ticklefucker have had enormous difficulty with for as long as I've been posting here. It's not just a TMF thing, either. Having been contacted by locals who have the fetish through my video production suggests the same thing; the mere act of just having it out there as an otherwise normal personality aspect frightens the living shit out of people.
That along will prevent it from ever being "made normal"; a lot of the people who have the fetish don't think believe it's normal.
That along will prevent it from ever being "made normal"; a lot of the people who have the fetish don't think believe it's normal.
duderino84
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I guess. Idk, sounds like a whole chicken vs the egg sort of discussion. Tickling/etc came first, the traditional way honestly makes me kind of germaphobic.
But the normalizing thing just sounds like concealing your personality after a while. People should prioritize better communication/self expression.
But the normalizing thing just sounds like concealing your personality after a while. People should prioritize better communication/self expression.
Yeah, you're not on that particular list. As a matter of fact, I agree with you for the most part.
duderino84
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Wow, that's news. Guess I got "better".
Not a consideration, really.
- Anyways -
While I don't agree with your stance on this one, it's yours, and if it works for you, I'm certainly not going to question that.
Oddjob0226
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I’m in TX too. I go to play parties, too, have hosted private parties in the past, and am NOT new-ish, & and yeah, you were pretty whiney and “I’m offended!” hipsterish. We can already find that in general vanilla society, thanks.
The folks I play with & socilaize with aren’t afraid to ask uncomfortable questions or wonder “unspeakable” thoughts. They have a vast array of stuff that gets them hot. They also have a terrible (meaning, great) sense of humor.
Even the 3-time Tonny winning play “Bent”, which played in the West End & Broadway - the gayest places for mainstream theater - has a scene with 2 men in a Nazi concentration camp using just their minds & voices to arouse each other as they stand imprisoned & physically separated. Talk to some of the old-time leathermen, pre-1990s; many definitely got a thrill by going to a bathhouse where they could find both a “beer & prison rape” scenes - all in the heart of the Reagan/Bush-era Bible Belt. And I got that right out of the mouth of the last manager of The Sanctuary before it shut down last year. My date was Nancy Ava Miller.
You are new. You’ll learn people get/got their excitement in all sorts of ways, like “bareback”-ing at the dawn of the Internet when it was mostly bulletin boards. You’ll also hopefully learn basic common decency is not something you demand people pull out of you as a reward for pleasing you.
I do not give my consent for you to reply to this post.
Comfort Eagle
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Oh boy, why don't you really break out the big guns and call 'em SNOWFLAKE! next?
Crazy Wabbit
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Really? About 3 years ago, my roommate has a female friend that was creeped out because someone in CA sent her a friends request and a message asking her if he could suck her toes. My roommate, whom I confided my fetish to, right in front of her says "Hey, I had no idea you sent her a friends request." I could've died right there on the spot. I've also heard of it talked about during breaks and lunches at work, female to female conversations and I'm hear to tell you that they're both creeped and grossed out by the idea.
What? *lmao* Let me tell you something about myself and I'll probably end up either being the laughing stock of the forum, creep out everyone, or hopefully, maybe, someone without a high school mentality might understand my plight. First and foremost, I am love-shy and would avoid talking about both of foot fetish and a tickling fetish to anyone other than someone I already know that has the same fetish. The reason why I'm still a virgin at 48 is a few reasons. One is I was raised with strict parents, with religion and sex outside of marriage was not even thought of. Another being since I have social anxiety disorder, which is comorbid to being love-shy, which prevents me from even approaching someone without firsthand knowledge that they have the same fetish, which is why I lurk on this forum and fetlife. And lastly, it really doesn't help also being love-shy and being a metrosexual. Society already has one, let alone both, as being gay.
True. It sure seems like some can get away with it without appearing creeped out by those who they solicit where others are automatically labelled as perverts. This is just one of these instances where life is very unfair.
I don't know about posing the question on pornhub, asking the youtube bloggers to do a tickle challenge or announcing it of reddit. I would suggest, if it would do any good, to ask the LBGT community as to how they got their sexuality accepted by the masses. The only problem with that is since when has anyone been harassed, discriminated against, assaulted or even murdered because they have either a foot fetish or a tickle fetish? The worst we've had is we get ostracized.
Tenebrae
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I don't quite get the correlation between being a 48 year-old virgin and the religious upbringing. I had a very religious upbringing myself, and it was quite the opposite. If you're not married with children by the age you get your PhD or something, they start to put A LOT of pressure on you, introduce you to increasingly random girls (once you turned down all the friends and removed cousins
) and practically would PAY someone to let you put the ring on them. I myself married relatively late, 31, and thank goodness it was to a woman of my own choosing, and HOORAY she is an atheist like I am . But since I live in a faraway country I did not feel too much of that pressure. Back home though, I got two cousins (female); one who got married at around 36 and another who had a cute daughter out of wedlock, and it was hell for them, during a few years. I received a lot of encouragement and incentives to get girlfriends during my teens, cause my religious parents wanted to make sure that: 1) I wasn't a homosexual and 2) that I could get married and BREED like a good soldier of God. So it's strange for me to imagine religion as a barrier towards getting girlfriends; quite the opposite, in my own (arguably personal) experience
This one point aside, I hear you loud and clear on the rest of your post. You do make good points. And please do not worry: you won't get ridiculed by me, nor by anyone worth talking to here. We all have different personalities and experiences, and there's quite a few people here who also struggle with social anxiety.
They have not been accepted by the masses at all. They have just become more visible, and have organized as a lobby, with huge funding to back them up.
hellenberg
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Why would anyone want to normalize it?
The whole point of fetishes is to be done in private (for a given definition, including within dedicated fetish communities). People don't generally talk about sexual things in casual conversation. There are exceptions in particularly permissive areas, and I suppose among very close friends, but if you think that tickling as a fetish is something that could, or should, be "normalized" so you can talk about how you get off to it with whomever, I think you've got a long wait coming.
Not saying anything about the good or bad of this situation. It's just how most cultures are right now. Things are changing. I wouldn't count on it being appropriate to casually talk about how much you love tickling anytime soon, though.
The whole point of fetishes is to be done in private (for a given definition, including within dedicated fetish communities). People don't generally talk about sexual things in casual conversation. There are exceptions in particularly permissive areas, and I suppose among very close friends, but if you think that tickling as a fetish is something that could, or should, be "normalized" so you can talk about how you get off to it with whomever, I think you've got a long wait coming.
Not saying anything about the good or bad of this situation. It's just how most cultures are right now. Things are changing. I wouldn't count on it being appropriate to casually talk about how much you love tickling anytime soon, though.
Crazy Wabbit
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And please do not worry: you won't get ridiculed by me, nor by anyone worth talking to here. We all have different personalities and experiences, and there's quite a few people here who also struggle with social anxiety.
Thank you. I really appreciate the kind words. I apologize if I seemed a bit gruff in my previous post. It's nothing personal against you or anyone else on this forum. It's me and I've definitely been discouraged and frustrated for many years, which I am now beginning to think positive, take a pro-active approach, not feel sorry for myself. One of the things (heck, why I'm even here is because not only do I have the same fetish as everyone else, I'm pushing myself out of my "comfort zone" and intend on attending some meet and greets when they become available in my area sometime in the future).
Again, thank you for not judging me. It's definitely a breath of fresh air. I've seen friends of mine whom are into the BDSM scene and it's really interesting that some of the so-called "normal" people or "Christians" can be the most judgmental people and those whom consider us "perverts" or "deviants" are some of the most non-judgmental and accepting.
