Ashe,
I'm very sorry about what you are going through.
As someone who has experienced many ups and downs in my life.
The illness and death of my mother, while taking care of her all alone for 2 years, 200 miles away from family, and nearly dying myself from 2 severe seizures.
I understand about low points.
My view is to try to live life one day at a time, and try to deal with each new day, and new challenge, one at a time.
If I might also suggest.
If you feel the need to vent about situations in your life on this forum, by all means
I would suggest starting a blog, and doing so in that manner.
While some people are well meaning, and understanding.
Others take such opportunity to post negative feedback, that is not well meaning.
In a blog, such is less likely to happen.
As someone who has been a member of this forum for seventeen years, and has experienced this, I speak from first hand experience.
I hope what I said is helpful.
I'm not in the chatroom often anymore, as my old computer does not like the Java.
However, if you would ever like to vent or chat, please message me, and I will get back to you.
Best of Luck.
Take care,
Mitch