My girlfriend thinks she might be gay

Hey everybody, I'm posting this to vent a little and also to see if anyone with similar experience has any helpful advice. My girlfriend has been off for the past couple months, not distant necessarily, but something had definitely been off. Last night after we put her kids to bed (after a completely normal day), she and I were sitting in the living room and I asked where her head was at. After some hesitation she told me she's been thinking for the past couple months that she is gay. She's always maintained her bi identity in the year and a half that we've been together, and we'd always had a lively sexual relationship, but in the past two months we've had sex maybe twice. She says she loves me and wants to be with me and work through this with me, but is now unsure of the future. I'm not angry with her, and I understand how difficult having that conversation with me must have been, but I am incredibly hurt and anxious and I'm worried she's just keeping me around for what will ultimately amount to a breakup that will be more painful than if we just got it over with now. I'd love to hear what limited perspectives anyone can glean from this, but especially from people who've been there on either side. Thanks in advance.

You can continue to help look after someone else progeny and hope maybe she'll start fucking with you again, or you can grow some balls and run as fast as you can. You need to value yourself above anything else and not stand around waiting to be picked.

Cause nothing says "I'm a real man" more then running. Yeah.

Goalie, I'm not sure why you feel hurt exactly, but don't be. The fact that she was willing to talk to you about this shows that she both cares about you and the relationship. Just remember, this isn't about you. She didn't suddenly become unsure of her orientation because of something you did. This is something she has to figure out herself, and may take some time, and patience from you. It's understandable that your concerned about the relationship. They are an investment of time, money, and emotion, and nobody likes to get zero return on an investment. Give it some time, perhaps a bit of couples therapy for the two of you.

Running in this case is not to preserve a sense a manliness, but is to leave a relationship in which your value has attenuated. He's having less sex with his girlfriend who then tells him she thinks she might be gay, it's clear her attraction to him is waning. life is far too short to wait around for someone else to decide if you're good enough for them.

MR.SUPERIOR said:

Running in this case is not to preserve a sense a manliness, but is to leave a relationship in which your value has attenuated. He's having less sex with his girlfriend who then tells him she thinks she might be gay, it's clear her attraction to him is waning. life is far too short to wait around for someone else to decide if you're good enough for them.

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This is close to the best advise right here in my opinion. Only thing i'd add to this would be to not exactly "run", but very calmly and respectfully end the relationship on a mutual level. That would be the best for both parties speaking as an outsider looking at the facts givin.

Running in this case is not to preserve a sense a manliness, but is to leave a relationship in which your value has attenuated. He's having less sex with his girlfriend who then tells him she thinks she might be gay, it's clear her attraction to him is waning. life is far too short to wait around for someone else to decide if you're good enough for them.

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There is a considerable difference between a person feeling less attracted to another, and somebody trying to figure out their sexual orientation. It's not a matter of her deciding if he's good enough or not, its about her figuring out if she is bisexual or gay. Sexuality is a complex thing, and not so easy for some people to figure out.

Yes, sexuality can be a complicated thing, however it's not difficult to know if you're attracted to the man you've been dating. You also need to think about this from the perspective of the original poster, all he can do is move on to better prospects or stick around and hope she comes around however long that takes. I can't image staying with someone who doesn't know if they're attracted to me, I'd feel it was best to leave that situation quickly, however you or the OP may think differently.

If you feel the relationship is in jeopardy due to her losing her sexual attraction to you because deep down she wants to be with a partner of the same sex then I recommend having a simple, quiet, honest talk with each other and if she admits she wants to end the relationship then try to arrange for an easy and relatively painless separation of the relationship. Don't just leave, talk with her, come to a decision, and then if you both with to end the relationship then be gentle in the separation. While a broken heart can be mended, a broken spirit/mind cannot be easily put back together so try to approach this rationally and with grace and tact. Sit down and have a long chat and if you both want to separate then proceed from there.