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The Alphabetical "Never Have I Ever"

Never have I ever dropped a piano off the top of the empire state building.
 
Never have I ever impersonated Mike Tyson.
 
Never have I ever kissed Jessica Alba.
 
Never have I ever left home without pants.

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Never have I ever murdered a puppet.
 
Never have I ever oriented my lamps upside down.

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Never have I ever quacked like a duck in a grocery store.

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Never have I ever understood women.
 
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