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The Alphabetical "Never Have I Ever"

Never have I ever justified my tendency to eat small islands off the coast of England after inadvertently running out of breakfast cereal.
 
Never have I ever loved a celebrity more than Jessica Alba.
 
Never have I ever noticed Jessica Alba staring at me.
 
Never have I ever pictured myself as Jessica Alba's boyfriend.
 
Never have I ever rubbed Jessica Alba's feet.
 
Never have I ever violated Jessica Alba's privacy.
 
Never have I ever zeroed out my bank account by spending too much on Jessica Alba.
 
Never have I ever blamed Jessica Alba for cheating on me.
 
Never have I ever determined how to win over Jessica Alba.
 
Never have I ever fought with another guy over Jessica Alba.
 
Never have I ever hit Jessica Alba (or any woman).
 
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